FEAR.
I'm scared of fear itself. I have to learn to mask things, like Mitchell. I have to stay strong for others-and Lacy is counting on me.
I feel angry-distraught-at father for leaving all the pressure on me. I don't mind working for the money, but being the rock is the hardest thing to do. Complaining won't do anything, so I have to live on-keep my head held high and do my best.
It's warmer outside, but I'm shivering. I try to stop, because I know Lacy always notices when I'm nervous-and now's not the time to be. Instead, I start to bite my nails. Then after trying to stop, I'm fiddling with the hem of my dress.
Breathe, I tell myself, just breathe. Nothing will happen to you.
My father mumbles something like "Good luck," and he goes to step aside to the crowd. Everyone is already lining up. I can see people with their hair tied up neatly and nicely. The clothes are nice but the colours seem to be dull. I smile a little at Lacy and give her a reassuring hug.
"You'll be fine," I whisper. She only nods mutely and follows her age group to the back.
I take a deep breath in and walk towards the fifteen and sixteen year olds. Somewhere in the crowd I see Mitchell and he mouths "Don't worry." I nod and smile back, but it's somewhat forced. I try and focus on the stage in front of us. There are five chairs, three for the Fates, one for the Mayor, and one for District 10's mentor Aphrodite. Her chestnut hair is braided to the side and she's wearing clothes to compliment a smart, professional appearance.
She's beautiful, but she's smiling a little too stiffly, as if she doesn't like what goes on around in Olympus. Maybe she just remembered that she'll have to mentor another child, who will probably end up being ripped to pieces in Tartarus.
I try to stop thinking about the Games. I know that I will just collapse in front the whole crowd if I do, and I will be the laughing stock of Olympus.
At the front there is a table with a big glass bowl. It's empty, but when the Fates put their hand in, a piece of paper appears with a name on it. I stare at it-my name could be written down there.
Don't worry. Remember, you're one in a million, one in millions of people.
Aphrodite and the Mayor seem to be in a deep conversation. One of the Fates comes up and smiles that old scary smile. "Happy Titan Games!" she says grinning like mad. "It's that time of year again!"
The time we all dread. Nobody smiles or laughs along-as usual.
"Well we shouldn't waste time, let's see who the lucky one is this time!" one of the Fates say. She says it like somebody is about to win a prize. Probably the worst prize of all.
She sticks her bony, wrinkled hand into the bowl and a folded, small piece of paper appears inside. It's drawn out and they unfold it carefully.
My heart is beating fast. I shut my eyes and pray silently to the gods. Please don't let it be me, or Lacy or Mitchell. Please, just let us free-don't make us suffer in these cruel harsh Games. Please spare us-protect us.
The old lady smiles and looks up at the audience-she pauses for a dramatic effect. She opens her mouth to say it...
And it's not my name, or any of theirs that is called out. It's a small boy's.
He looks weak and thin-a twelve year old is yet again chosen. I hear some agonized cries from the crowd as the boy slowly makes his way through the crowd. He looks terrified, on the verge of tears.
I can see Mitchell and he gives me a short nod. He's saying that he told me so. I look back at the stage and one of the old ladies is looking at me. Straight through me. I don't know why but she looks as if she is encouraging me. Her thin lips are placed into a tight smile. Then I suddenly think of his family.
What if I was his sister who was looking out for him? He's exactly like Lacy-small and the portrayal of pure innocence. And he knows that no one can save him, the Fates have decided. He's useless. He wouldn't survive in the arena. My head goes back to the promise I made with Lacy. I wasn't going to let her get hurt. And it's not out of pity, but the guilt that I will face if I hadn't done the next thing I did.
"I volunteer," I scream out and I push through the crowd into the front. "I volunteer as tribute!"
Everyone stops. It's like the whole world has frozen. There are hardly ever any volunteers in District 10, so what I did was a radical thing to do.
I've rushed up to the middle and push the boy behind me. A few guards come up to take me, but the Fates signal that it's ok. The boy looks up at me shocked and scared.
"No," he whispers, "I can't let you do this-"
"I can't let you do this."
Because when I promised Lacy that nobody was going to hurt her I had made a promise to everyone. If anyone, the Titans should take me-so I sacrifice myself.
Some guards pull him back and he's kicking and screaming.
Aphrodite looks at me with curiosity and sadness. "I'm sorry dear but the Fates have chosen-"
"Alright," says the one who picked out the name. "Let her come up,"
Aphrodite looks bewildered and little relieved. "But are you-"
"What does it matter? If she volunteers then let her," she looks back at me with a grin. She beckons me with her bony hand. "Come up here."
I hear some screams behind me. "You can't do this for me!" But I just keep walking up the stairs, because I'm afraid of crying and I cannot show weakness to the others. I'm the rock; I've always been the one to hold the family together.
And I can't believe this boy already feels like my own.
The old lady takes my shoulder and brings me out to the front. "What is your name, dearie?"
I swallow all my worries down and take a deep breath in. "Piper Mclean."
"And do you know this little boy here?" Her crooked finger points out to the boy who is being dragged away.
I look into the crowd of people and my eyes meet Mitchell's. He's shaking his head and there's sadness in his eyes. I know what he's thinking, but there's no looking back. I've done what I have done.
Not leaving his gaze, I say a firm "No." The ladies clap their hands in delight.
"Well bravo! This girl shows a lot of spunk! Standing in for a stranger, that's wonderful!" she actually sounds genuine, but I remind myself that she's horrible and cruel. "But I suppose you didn't want him to steal all the fame and glory either. Let's give a round of applause to Piper Mclean!"
Nobody moves, I spot Lacy somewhere in the crowd and she looks shocked. I bite my lip and look away, because they'll be televising this throughout Olympus and I cannot look like a weakling-a weak link. Nobody will want me as an ally. So I have to stay strong-knowing what I did was right, or face the bitter consequences of fighting alone in Tartarus for showing weakness.
Forget it; nobody will be your friend in the arena. Everyone will eventually die-you cannot befriend anybody.
The anthem blares through the speakers and all that time I'm staring out into the valleys out there. It's strange because not long ago I was with Mitchell, in the fields.
He was right, I wasn't going to be chosen-but I entered the Games in a different way. I sniffle a little and I wipe a few tears away when I know nobody is filming me.
The anthem ends, then I'm taken away by some guards into a building.
"You're always the hero aren't you? Piper Mclean you just always have to save somebody and risk you own life!" Mitchell is yelling at me. "Now there's no way you can go back! Why do you do these things? WHY!"
I don't want to look up, but now I know how much he actually cares for me. His voice breaks at the last word, and I'm in terrible danger of crying.
"I don't regret it," I whisper quietly. "I don't regret doing anything."
"Of course you don't," he says bitterly. "You're just so..."
I look up and he has tears in his eyes. He's not angry-he's terrified for me. It's the first time I've seen him break apart. It'll be nice to know that somebody does care, other than Lacy, about me while I'm away.
"Mitchell, look after them for me, take care of Lacy." I gently touch his cheek and smile weakly. "I'll come back,"
He gives me a hug. "I just want you to return home after, alright?" I pull away and the guards are at the door signalling that our time is up. He turns to me.
"Good luck Pipes. Be safe." I only nod, and then he's gone. I'll probably never see him again.
Lacy and father come through the door. She's sobbing helplessly. I pull her into a hug.
"Don't leave Piper," she buries her face in my dress. "Don't leave me."
I stroke her hair gently. I try to keep the tears from falling.
She looks up at me.
"Promise me that you'll come back." She whispers.
That's a promise I can't keep. "Lacy...-"
"Do it." She insists. "Promise that you'll come back to us." She's determined to get me to say it. And she knows that now I'll have to keep my word.
"I-I promise." Lacy reaches up and gives me a hug.
"You were so brave-you are so brave. You're sure to win. Nobody can compete with you." She says. I kiss her cheek gently.
"I'll miss you Lacy."
And then I look up and father is standing nearby. I immediately give him a run through of how things will work here.
"Mitchell will help you get the food; don't make Lacy work in the Factory when I'm gone. I don't want you to leave her, because I won't be there to work and I won't be there to hold us together-you can't let her down." I try to control my voice so I don't shout. He looks at me surprised. "Don't ignore us, you've been doing it for the last three years-you have to help now. Because guess what, tomorrow I won't be here-and I might not ever come back again!"
"I didn't mean to leave you like that," he says. "I was still in shock-I-I couldn't do anything it was too hard."
"And you never thought about how we would take it, we were hurt too-but we had to live on. And now it's time to wake up, because you've missed out on everything for THREE WHOLE YEARS!"
I can't take it anymore; I sit down and start sobbing. He comes closer.
"Piper, I-I'm sorry I'll make it up for you,"
"Make it up for Lacy instead, there's no use in doing anything for me now," I wipe the tears away and look at him. He looks hurt at my words, but it's true. I'm tired of acting like everything. He gives me a small hug.
"Good luck, Pipes. I know you can do it."
"Thank you."
I give him a small smile. I'm happy that he didn't apologise again because it wouldn't have made a difference. And he knows that now. I just hope he won't make the same mistake again.
The family of the boy visit me and keep thanking me and crying.
"We cannot thank you enough for your kindness," the mother says.
I smile warmly at them. "It's alright. I hope to see you again,"
The small boy comes up to me and says "Make our district proud."
I'm still surprised that the Fates let me take his place. I recall the look the lady had given me. But it was probably nothing.
"I will."
And then the last person who visits me gives me another shock.
"Silena?"
I stare at the girl in front of me, she looks like she's trying to stay calm-but I can tell she's hiding something.
"You were very brave standing in for that little boy," she says smiling. "I can tell that you'll be doing many great things."
"Thank you, I'll miss you," I say returning a smile. Then she looks into my eyes and I see something in them. Worry? Fear?
"Piper-"she hesitates and looks around quickly. Then she takes off her badge. "Wear this in the arena."
"Silena what-"she places the pin on my dress.
"Please don't take it off-promise me, if you do then..."she hesitates again when the guards appear.
"But why-"
"Think of it as a good luck charm," she persists and she turns to the guards who are already signalling that our short farewell is over.
"Goodbye Piper, I wish of the best of luck," she whispers. Silena kisses my forehead and leaves me to wonder about her sudden strangeness. And then she's gone.
I slowly sit down and examine the badge. Looking at it more closely, it's the shape of a crescent moon. The Titan is also a name for a moon on Saturn, making it the symbol of the Titans-but why would she give this to me? And in such a strange way too.
I think that maybe all this time Silena was my friend. And after figuring this out I will never see her again.
I attach the pin back to my dress and the guards come in to take me to the Titans. I take one look back at District 10, my home-the place where I have lived all my life, the place where my mother will always be, the place where all my achievements lie, the place where I keep everything. I turn around and follow them to the station.
And I'm already missing home.
I apologise on how short and abrupt this is...I feel I could have written it better, oh well :(
And the small boy...he was purposely left unnamed-just putting it out there
And I will try to post the next chapter soon...but unfortunately I have FOUR-no sorry-FIVE new assignments to hand in in 2 WEEKS!
...so sad.
And you will see Silena much later in the story-btw.
bye for now :)