Young man, your fate is to become a sugar baby

Chapter 12: The feeling of dissonance is strong in this one

Akira made his way towards the shaded area brought about by the few lone trees bordering the playground on one side. His gait was slow and careful and, for some reason, he was doing his best to step only in his heels. A large amount of sweat trickled down his brow despite not being all that hot of a day and a mixture of pain and annoyance noticeably contorted his features — in the end, he had lost the game.

Smack!

A sudden smack on the shoulder caused quite the falter in his steps but he pretended nothing was out of the ordinary and continued his arduous trek.

He didn't mind losing to Minato. That was exactly what he'd had in mind and, to be fair, the only 'natural development' facing the boy in this period could result in. It was only right to be defeated!

". . ."

Akira really thought so. This was by no means him being sullen of having been taken by surprise and actually losing the game.

Smack!

". . ."

Well, that was a lie and the boy whose body rocketed forward for the umpteenth time now knew it best. The strength behind the smacks seemed to increase with each passing hit. He was loath to admit it but . . . he had lost and that stung his pride more than the throbbing pain he was currently feeling stung his family jewels. There was a big difference between losing on purpose after putting on a great act and . . . being deemed 'unfit to continue the game' after taking a knee in the balls. He also didn't like the looks of pity and understanding he had got from his sensei and his suddenly solitary male classmates . . .

". . ."

A vein bulged on his forehead at the mere remembrance of those gazes that made his fist itch for some action but it settled down just as suddenly as it had appeared, his cheeks instead gaining a hint of rosiness to them. Since he had so easily remembered the annoying reactions of the males present . . . it was no wonder that he had also remembered the way the . . . girls had reacted. Between the furtive glances raining down his crotch and the shy yet not one-bit remorseful giggles he got in response after happening to make eye contact with one of them . . . Akira could no longer take the constant shame and the hair rising tingle some of the more 'desiring to help' gazes induced in his scalp and chose to run . . . speed walk . . . slowly bounce away.

And there he was now, still in the middle of his grand escape even after five minutes since he had fled the scene . . . currently some twenty meters behind him — Minato had 'landed' a very good kick. Fortunately, though, the pain had started to slowly dwindle since a while ago. Had his . . . injury been any more serious and should he have to visit the infirmary to get treated—

". . ."

Akira shuddered, the mere idea that he could have been forced to experience such a shame play rekindling the parents killing level of hatred he felt for the blonde. The medical-nin in charge of the school infirmary was a woman after all! She was also quite a pretty 'older sister' type, not a day over twenty, and widely known to be quite the shy one!

". . ."

Akira shuddered anew and forcefully stopped his imagination from envisioning the scene of him having to confess to the nurse where he actually hurt. While usually a feast for the eyes the woman turning red was . . . he absolutely didn't want to see it in this scenario! Absolutely!

Smack!

Another smack hit the boy square between shoulders and sent him stumbling, Mayumi's intensive balance keeping training sessions the only reason he managed to avoid kissing the earth. A look of great annoyance appeared on his face and he swiveled around to face the aggressor. He couldn't help hissing, "Do you mind stopping that already?!"

Kushina — because who else could have been but her — didn't look all that impressed by his outburst. Crossing her hands over her chest, she harrumphed coldly, her nose high in the air, "Only if you stop that as well."

"Stop what?"

"Ignoring me!"

It was Akira's turn now to snort. While it was true that he had been doing his best to pretend to ignore the redhead's presence — and her smacks — he didn't do it out of malice or something. It was her fault, rather. His temper flaring even further, he barely refrained himself from saying something hurtful and opted to just ask through gritted teeth, "You do know why I did so, right . . .?"

Kushina simply nodded, "Because I made fun of you, right?"

Akira was taken aback with her answer — it being right on the mark — but didn't let it show on his face. In fact, her self awareness and the casual way she answered only served to raise his anger further.

". . . Since you're aware, you can't blame me for not wanting to talk to you. So leave me alone."

At that, Kushina shook her head and then said with a distressed frown, "I don't like being ignored."

"And I don't like being made fun of," Akira quickly interjected, his heart almost softening at the look on the girl's face as she confessed that. Averting his eyes, he continued, "Since we both find the other's action distasteful, I suggest we each leave the other alone and—"

"No."

"?"

"I don't want that."

". . ."

Akira stared dazedly at the cheeky girl, his expression as much fed up as it was impressed by her gall. Shaking his head in defeat, he chose to give up convincing her and just honor the proposition by himself. Not saying another word, he just turned around and continued his way. As with the pain, his gait had gotten lighter. However, just as he was about to enter the shade and lie down in its soothing embrace—

"Punch me!"

—Kushina once more managed to show him that taking people by surprise was a genetic trait amongst the Uzumaki's and spouted some bullshit that almost had him plant his face in the dirt. This time she hadn't even had to smack him.

". . .Why should I?" Akira asked after regaining his physical bearings, squeezing a little more patience from a rapidly draining well. Initially, he had wanted to use some more . . . colorful words but . . . seeing the uncharacteristically serious look on the girl's face, he swallowed them back and asked that instead.

"Well," Kushina began solemnly and Akira couldn't help straightening his back nervously at that, ". . . I always feel better after punching someone who annoys me!"

". . ."

He had been a fool to take the idiot seriously. Feeling like he had lost more neurons in this short exchange than in a month of hardworking studying, the boy said nothing and, at last, finished his track. Actually planting himself face first in the soft grass growing underneath the trees, he tried to empty his mind of all worldly matters.

"So when are you going to punch me . . .? Although I'm not afraid . . . I-I still need some time to prepare my heart beforehand, 'ttebane! Tell me at least ten minutes ahead!"

". . ."

Akira just let out a muffled groan before rolling on his back and squinting his eyes at the girl nervously peeking down at him, her body leaning a bit over his in order to get a better view of his face. Locking eyes with her, the boy belatedly remarked that her scarlet locks shined like a blazing flame when the light filtering through the foliage reached them.

. . . Would she stop with the bullshit if he honestly praised that . . .? Probably yes, but Akira felt that saying something like that would only worsen his station in some way or another. However, since for reasons unknown, the girl had been squirming for a while now and she had started to avoid his gaze with a suspicious dusting of red colouring her cheeks, he felt that keeping silent was not an option either. He sighed, closing his eyes, "I'm not going to punch you."

It was Kushina's turn to be taken aback by the boy's words, her eyes widening in disbelief. Was there someone in this world who would refuse such a sweet offer? "W-why?" She couldn't help but ask. Even by her standards — which were pretty low, in fact — she knew her teasing must have been quite infuriating for the boy. She had spared no effort making fun of the way he had lost so . . . how could he refuse revenge?

"Kushina, Kushina," Akira shook his head slowly, and the look of pity he sent her made the girl's fists itch. She barely managed to hold back not increasing her 'sins'. "Have you heard of the saying 'Turn the other cheek'?"

"?"

". . . It means that one should respond to insult without retort and allow more insult."

"?"

If Kushina had looked puzzled at first, the bafflement that showed on her face after the boy's explanation was many times more telling. "Are you an idiot?" she asked eventually but didn't wait for the boy to answer before she continued, suddenly worried about his future, "No," she shook her head, "you are an idiot. A big one."

Akira didn't like the sudden reversal of roles. Narrowing his eyes a tad and leaning forward in his seated position, he decided to have her elaborate before taking further action. She may have been his beloved — fictional character — but even his patience had a limit, ". . . Why is that?"

However, taking a completely unexpected turn for the boy, the moment Kushina sensed the menacing glare directed her way and she locked eyes with him, she didn't get angry as he had expected her to. Instead, she heaved a big sigh of relief and started patting her chest which steered no waves. "I'm glad," she whispered and looked truly genuine, "You're not beyond saving."

Akira frowned in confusion but kept silent.

Fortunately, Kushina picked up on that and explained patiently, her expression one of unprecedented seriousness, "The only end that awaits a Shinobi with that kind of mindset is death. I don't want my friend to die for a stupid reason like that."

Akira silently regarded Kushina's duel, his mood low.

Although he called it a duel, a more apt description of what was currently going on was unilateral beating, the poor boy who's had the unfortunate fate to be selected as her opponent covering anxiously before the flurry of fists storming his way.

Not long after the redhead had given the shocking declaration and before he had time to pull himself together, she had been called by Yamazaki-sensei to play her turn, leaving the dumbfounded boy behind.

. . . He was somewhat grateful for that. After all, Akira had no response to her words.

Ignoring the uncharacteristic frankness she used to call him her friend — he had no idea how she might have reached that conclusion — what really distressed Akira was her mature and fatalistic recognition of the way this sad world worked. In his . . . past life, he had heard and read about kids in this universe being unordinarily precocious until he had gone numb about the matter. He had reached a point where all he could think when hearing someone talk about this precocious was a mere '. . . That so?'

That's why . . . it hit him even harder to hear Kushina talk so nonchalantly about not wanting to lose someone. She was supposed to be Kushina, the mother of that happy-go-lucky idiot. She had not yet lost her clan and Mito was still alive and kicking so . . . why . . . could she say such things?

"She told you well, right? Kid."

Before Akira had any more time to contemplate the new piece of evidence that pointed at just how fucked up this world was and before his mood could take a turn for the worse . . . a loud voice rang out just behind him and caused his whole body to stiffen.

. . . He knew that voice.

Although he had never met this person face to face before, the liveliness, the frivolousness and the hint of heroic confidence the voice contained made it ridiculously easy for him to pinpoint its owner despite it sounding much younger and after a life had passed since last he'd heard it. The stiffness of his body not getting any lighter, Akira jerkily turned his head, his gaze looking up—

". . .!"

—only to widen abruptly despite the absolute certainty he had in the identity of the person. Trying to calm down the sudden spike in his heart rate, he quickly looked away, pretending he had seen nothing.

He had enough troubles as it was so . . . just why were the heavens sending this mighty star of doom his way? He had done nothing wrong!

. . . Although at this point he couldn't quite say that with absolute confidence.

"What's with that?" the voice rang out again but this time it sounded slightly dissatisfied. "Why that look? I'm not eating anyone."

". . ."

The boy said nothing and kept ignoring the voice. If he said nothing, maybe its owner would get bored and spare his measly life from the trouble that came with being involved with them. He certainly hoped so.

. . . Unfortunately, his chances of turning Danzō into a paragon of kindness and justice were many times higher than his chances to drive this person away by simply ignoring them.

"So that's how you wanna play it," the voice rang out once more and the boy could tell without turning that a smirk plastered on its owner's lips. The sense of crisis drumming at his heart suddenly skyrocketing, Akira stood up swiftly and made a run for it.

. . . Or at least tried to but he hadn't managed to take a single step before his legs started to dangle uselessly in mid-air and he felt the shirt he was wearing dig into his armpits — he had been lifted by the scruff of his shirt. Akira struggled to escape the iron grip keeping his body prisoner but gave up after just a few seconds, much like a baby kitten would do in a similar situation.

"You're unexpectedly self aware."

The voice behind the boy commented cheerfully but he couldn't share the feeling — not much unlike a stuffed toy being picked in the claw of a crane machine, his body started moving and he soon found himself face to face with a grinning visage.

"I thought you would struggle some more."

". . ."

It may have been just an illusion brought about by despair, but Akira could swear there was the slightest hint of a pout in the person's words, as if his quick surrender had ruined their fun. The boy couldn't help but start grumbling.

". . . I may not be that smart, but I'm not that big of a fool either. There's no point putting up any resistance when the opponent is someone like you."

"He~?" The grin before his eyes widened some more and the boy frowned as a sweet breath that unexpectedly didn't smell of alcohol hit him squarely in his face. "Then why'd you try to escape in the first place~?"

". . ."

"Hmmm~?"

". . . No comment."

"Is that so?"

The person nodded teasingly but didn't press on. Instead, they felt content looking the boy up and down, sometimes nodding, something shaking their head, but not saying anything. If Akira were to be completely honest, he found the situation to be very disconcerting. Under the piercing pair of eyes thoroughly scanning his body up and down, he had a feeling he may as well have been naked. The times he had read of similar scenes taking place in fiction were countless but one had to experience it on their skin to truly realize just how uncomfortable it could get.

. . . His only solace was that the one appraising him right now was not Orochimaru. That . . . wouldn't have been just simply uncomfortable. That would have been a pretty damn good cue that he should rush home as soon as possible and hide under Mayumi's skirts until the end of his days.

Akira shuddered and shook his head as if to dispel the dark thought. Not feeling like letting himself be scrutinized any longer either, he gritted his teeth and spoke up. "So . . . how may I help you, Tsunade-sama?"

Yes.

The ones— . . . the one towering over him was none other than this legendary harbinger of doom.

. . . Although not in the form he was most familiar with — she was young. Too young, even.

With a mischievous look in her warm hazel eyes and a lopsided grin tugging at her cherry lips . . . the feeling of dissonance between what was before his eyes and what his mind claimed should have been normal left Akira quite dizzy. Had there not been a few scenes featuring this young self of hers in canon and had he not seen her from afar a few times since his rebirth . . . well, the boy had a hard time accepting the fact that the one before him was truly Tsunade.

He had nothing against her, of course. It was just that it would take a while for him to get used to this . . . bratty version of Tsunade after only ever knowing her mature, hot bombshell self. Although compared to ordinary girls this Tsunade was already quite endowed . . . she still had a long way to go until she reached her full potential. Until she reached 106 centimeters, there was still a long—

"Well, aren't you a little pervert?"

Akira's thoughts crashed and his body suddenly tensed, naturally entering a defensive posture. He didn't avert his gaze, though. Knowing what kind of treatment Tsunade offered to perverts — Jiraiya had put his body on the line to demonstrate that — letting her out of his sight might spell his death.

And sure enough.

The time his eyes had not been following her had been less than a fraction of a second yet even so, as he refocused his gaze, his line of sight was filled by a swiftly approaching slender hand.

Not left with enough time to even step back, Akira froze. Just like a frog suddenly confronted with a hungry snake or a deer caught in the headlights, his body froze and his eyes went round in disbelief. He knew what was coming next — he was about to experience the same treatment as the protagonist and get flicked in the forehead . . . by none other than Tsunade, the woman who had — will in this case — broken both of Jiraiya's arms, six off his ribs and ruptured several of his internal organs by merely punching him after catching him peek at her when she was bathing.

. . . If that was the treatment a life and death partner got, then what was a complete stranger like him supposed to expect? Was today supposed to be the day of his death? He really hadn't expecting such a 'grand' way to go.

Akira closed his eyes shut, preparing himself for the next transmigration if he was lucky enough.

". . ."

It might have seemed like a lot of time had passed since the moment Akira's thoughts started to derail, but in reality, not a moment had passed. Seeing the boy trembling in place, his eyes tightly shut, Tsunade's amusement grew a few notches and she willingly reduced the amount of force she had intended to use. By the time her fingers reached the child's forehead, the death flick he had been expected turned out to be . . . just a normal forehead flick — slightly painful but by no means deathly.

". . . It hurts."

Completely caught off guard by the young woman's unexpected 'gentleness', Akira looked up in dumbfounded amazement, his hands raising to cover the slightly painful bump and his mouth unconsciously leaking a small complaint. The one who he had expected to be his murderer was regarding him with eyes full of mirth while giggling softly. The scene unfolding before his eyes was so beautiful and serene that it gave him the creeps.

Tsunade giggling like a young maiden and not guffawing like a slimy uncle . . .? There really was something wrong with this world.

Feeling the nonexistent hairs on his body stand up in succession as he horrifyingly regarded the display before him, Akira resolutely decided to put an end to it lest some strange ideas popped up in his mind. "Was there something you wanted from me? Tsunade-sama."

As mentioned before, Akira had only seen Tsunade from afar —they had never met face to face. The tensions between their clans notwithstanding, he was just an Uchiha brat while she was the princess of the Senju or even Konoha. There shouldn't have been any contact between them.

. . . And that is exactly why it made the current situation all the more suspicious in the boy's eyes — he had a feeling the woman had purposely sought him out. The possibility this was merely a 'chance encounter' was not worth mentioning. In Konoha, you could only meet big shots in the wild when they so desired. Disguising it as a coincidence was just the shinobi's slyness at work.

"Of course, there is something," wiping a stray tear from her eye, Tsunade calmed down and readily nodded, surprising the boy with the honest admittance. "Something strange happened to me this morning, and it has something to do with you."

"?"

Akira pointed towards himself, the confusion he felt clear.

"Yeah," the woman nodded grandly, her messy golden ponytail swishing in sync. Her eyes suddenly sharped as she regarded the child with a look one would rather send the enemy. "What do you know about — ? It really surprised me when it —, —, and then told me to look for you."

"?"

"Speak, kid. Tell me all you know about this — and I'll let you off the hook."

". . ."

Akira stared speechlessly at the young woman burning with righteous indignation and couldn't help but wonder which spiteful deity he had unknowingly offended to get such good luck as of late. He really wished to give them a profound thank you for going to such great lengths to make his life livelier.

AN: Greetings!

It's been a while but here's a chapter. Please enjoy it~