A/N: OKAY OKAY! LOL Here is your update, my sweet sweet readers! And HOLY HELL GUYS! We are over 900 reviews! I am so astounded and truly grateful, I never in my wildest dreams imagined it would come to this. Just speechless.

Trogdor19, you are the wind in my kite, the Sunny D in my Texas Screwdriver, and the bacon in my beans. There are no words for your glittery awesomeness.

So, music is a MAJOR part of my life and inspiration. I am always, always on Pandora (seriously, like 18 hours a day and I got told that I was no longer allowed to use their free program because I listened to too much music. *snort* THAT'S DEDICATION, FOLKS!) But anyways, the reason I'm telling you this is because occasionally a song or two hits me so hard that I end up playing it on repeat. For DAYS. One of those was Say Something by A Great Big World (which incidentally was incorrectly used in TVD long after I wrote this chapter, but don't get me started) and that's why we have the title of this chapter. And if you're interested, I also highly recommend Sunlounger, Change Your Mind (Chill Mix) because OMG I think I bumped up the YouTube count on that song by like 1000.

Anyways, Enjoy!

Chapter 16: Say Something

"Well, Damon?" Elena snaps as she brandishes the folded paper at me.

"As far as I recall, it's not exactly a slam book, Elena."

"What makes you think that I want to see this?" she says all hurt and offended, and I roll my eyes. "These are your STD test results."

"Oh, is that what they are?" I say sarcastically, batting away the paper when she balls it up and throws it at me. "And I don't see what the big fucking deal is, seeing as how they're negative."

"I think you and I need to get something straight." She points her righteous finger at me and I cross my arms to keep from mocking the gesture. "Whatever crap you used to pull on other women, that's your business. No one is perfect and I am trying to overlook the completely offensive nature of all that you've been doing and trust you because so far, you haven't treated me like that. So the big deal," she says and takes a breath like she's trying to calm down, "is that by showing me this you are basically waving a flag in my face, and all that does is make me question whether I should even be seeing you."

I snort. "Hate to break this to you, Elena. But we're not seeing each other."

Her mouth gapes. "What is going on with you?" she asks, her voice high and confused, and I refuse to let her see me swallow.

"We've said from the beginning that we're friends. Barely. We're not dating."

"Then what was today? Because you've repeatedly gone out of your way to be considerate and sweet to me, and now you're just bailing?"

I don't say anything, and she shakes her head disappointedly.

Then her brow furrows and I shift my weight. "Is this because of Devon?" she says quietly, and I flinch at how easily she just said his name. "I'm sorry, Damon. I never meant to pry into your life like that, I just didn't realize-"

"This has nothing to do with that," I cut her off. "I just don't want to see you anymore."

"I thought we weren't seeing each other?" she volleys back and I lock my jaw closed. "I just…I don't understand this. I gave you an out this morning, and you were the one that refused to take it. So what happened between then and now?"

"You don't have to understand," I growl as I push off from the door, and she squares her shoulders when I stop in front of her. "I can't do the committed boyfriend thing, Elena," I say harshly, but my fucking traitorous voice wavers and Elena's shoulders sag and that just pisses me off even more. "That's not me."

"Damon," she says quietly in that too-familiar frustrated voice, reaching up to cradle my face in her hands. "You're doing better than you think. You just have to stop being such a jerk all the time."

I push her hands away and when her eyes begin to sparkle with tears, I steel myself against it.

This has to happen. It's already gone too far and she's too close and this shit has to end before I'm strangled and it's too late. And if she thinks I'm going to bow and scrape while she passes out a rule book on how she wants me to behave, she couldn't be more wrong. It's past time to set her straight, and if I have to make her cry to get this done, then so be it.

"How can you do this?" she whispers. "I thought…" She trails off and wipes at the tears rolling down her cheeks, and my throat clamps closed. "I care about you, Damon…"

"Well, you can't," I snap and she jumps back. "And I don't know what you thought, but whatever this was, it's done. So you need to leave."

"That's what you want? For me to go?" she asks and I cross my arms. "Because I will."

I push my fists harder into my ribs.

This is what I wanted: to be free.

It's what I've always needed.

But I look at Elena's trembling lower lip and the smudge of makeup around her eyes, the teardrop opal earrings that she never wears to work but she put on for me, and all of this is just so completely fucked up. A few hours ago we were laughing and teasing, touching and kissing, and to anyone who saw us at the park with Rascal it would have seemed like we were undoubtedly happy and completely infatuated with one another. Because we were.

But now she's crying and looking utterly devastated, and the problem is, she's too understanding of my faults and she's too patient with me when she shouldn't be. She sees too much and makes me feel better about everything without even knowing that she's doing it, and she doesn't drive me insane in the ways that I need her to, the ways I expected she would.

The problem is that she cares about me, and I care too much about her and I can't do that.

I bite the inside of my cheeks, and Elena wipes at her face again. "You're not even going to say anything," she says softly, disappointed in me like always, and she hugs her arms around herself.

I keep my jaw locked closed, and she nods.

"You know," she says brokenly, "you're the one who told me that real romance was about fighting for the woman you loved, no matter the obstacles. I hope someday you find someone worth fighting for." Her voice cracks and she brushes past me, storming out of my apartment and life and I close my eyes when the door slams closed behind her.

I don't understand what it is, but something hurts.

It took me five minutes to move after that door closed, and since then I've just been sitting on the edge of my bed, my head hung in my hands as my mind spins and chest aches, stomach twisting.

And I shouldn't feel this way. My whole life, I've been sure of who I am. I know what I'm capable of, what fights I can win, and I don't let people push me around or try to make me into something that I'm not because I've always been honest with myself.

I am not my brother, who was more compassionate and patient than I've ever been.

I am not Ric, who is thrilled to let his life revolve around Jenna's happiness and would do anything to make her smile.

I am a cold, cocky, selfish bastard who has never cared about anything except for what mattered to me, and if that pissed off other people, that was their problem. I can't afford to care, to let them get close enough to rip me in half again when they eventually go. There won't be anything left.

I should've kept it simpler, less complicated. Casual. That's the rule I live by and I've never broken it. And my mom shouldn't have said that crap about marriage, but honestly, I can't really blame her. She's never seen me be like that with a woman, cook them dinner and hold them when they cry, because I don't do that stuff. And I sure as shit don't bring them home.

I groan when I realize I'm going to have to tell my mom to forget about ever seeing me and Elena together like that again, and I doubt Elena is going to keep being friends with her because that would be the most awkward shit I could ever imagine. I am the worst son, just fucking ever.

I am the worst everything.

And I never wanted to hurt Elena. I just need options. To be able to go out, to see my friends without having to check with anyone first. To drink and flirt without feeling guilty or glancing over my shoulder. But the truth is, right now nothing sounds worse than doing the things that have made up my life for the past few years because they aren't as fun without her. And what's really scaring the fuck out of me is that despite the fact that I don't know how to be what she needs, and if I try, she's only going to end up disappointed, there's a huge part of me that still wants her.

It's Elena. She's the only woman I've ever known that can match me word for word, who is not afraid to put me in my place and who looks just as amazing in my oversized hoodies as she does in a baby blue strapless dress. Who surprises me, constantly. The woman I find myself wanting to spend my days with, not just my nights.

And I told her to go because I'm too terrified to admit that I think I'm falling for her, and—

Dammit, what the fuck did I do?

I shake my head at myself and release a deep breath. I've been sitting here too long already and it's not solving anything. I need to get up, get dressed, and leave. I don't really want to go to a bar but I still owe Mason those drinks and he's always good for a few laughs, and I could use some distracting stories of his latest misadventures. I wince when I realize he's going to ask me about Elena and what happened after I came to get her from the bar the other night.

Ric's is always a possibility, but again, he's going to ask how my date with Elena went. And I'm not exactly down on getting another lecture about what an asshole I am when I have to tell him the shit I pulled tonight, not that it would surprise him. The addition of Jenna's glares and possible semi-violent outburst? Also not looking too enticing.

Someone knocks on my neighbor's door and I flinch, but don't move. They're always having people come and go, and I listen dazedly to the sounds of someone loudly laughing, a pause and then someone coughing and then more laughter. Everyone else is going on with their lives, happy and clueless, and yet, I'm still just sitting here. I've never felt less like being around other people. The idea of smiling is nauseating. I slide my hands over my ears to cover the sounds of my neighbors, but it's useless. The harder I try to block them out, the more the silence hurts and I'm fucked no matter what I do.

My front door opens and my head snaps up, Elena standing there with her hand on the doorknob and my folded clothes in the other. Her eyes are red and a single tear is rolling down her cheek, and it's killing me that I did that to her. No one should ever make her cry.

I cover my fist with my palm and press them into my mouth. She's right there and staring at me in shock, and there's nothing I can say to her. Not after all the horrible shit that left my mouth an hour ago.

"I…" she starts and sniffles, and the sound slices through me. "I knocked, but you didn't answer and I just wanted to give you your stuff back and I'd rather not do this at work."

I nod and slowly stand as she steps inside but leaves the door open, and I don't dare meet her eyes as I walk over to her, but somehow I still see every quaver of her bottom lip.

I take the hoodie and pants and t-shirt from her, her eyelashes sweeping down when my fingertips graze her hand. I toss the clothes on my bed, and when I turn back to her I don't stop myself from brushing the back of my knuckles over the tear on her cheek, wiping it away.

Her eyes pinch tighter closed and another tear escapes, and then she turns away from my touch and heads right for the door.

"Elena," I say softly and she pauses, her back to me.

And I know I shouldn't, but I have to, and I step forward until I'm close enough to wrap my arms around her, holding her as tight against me as I need to. I drop my forehead to her neck and breathe her in, telling myself not to kiss her. I don't have the right to do that anymore.

"You are worth fighting for," I whisper, and as I grip her tighter she turns her face away from me, her shoulders shaking.

"I'm done playing games, Damon," she says angrily, her voice thick with tears, and I nod.

"I know."

"Then you better figure out right now what it is you want."

"You," I rush out. "I want you."

She waits a long time before choking out, "You can't do this again."

"I know that too," I admit and she shakes her head.

She takes a shaky breath, and I hold mine.

"You are such an asshole," she tells me and I close my eyes, unprepared for when she suddenly whips around to wrap her arms around my neck.

I huff out a breath in shock, then hold her with everything I have. Everything that she deserves and I don't.

It's limitless minutes that I don't want to end, just stupid thankful and unbelievably scared and crazy relieved as we stand there, finding a rhythm to calm ourselves to that's rooted in each other. It's in the hand I have buried in her hair, massaging her scalp to the echo of her unsteady breaths, finally slowing as her chest molds to mine. And as I support her weight because she's giving it all to me to protect, I'm telling every instinct I have that is screaming for me to run to shut the fuck up, because she's still here and no one has ever fit like she does. And Elena fits me perfectly.

I don't know why it took me three years to see her, really see her, for all that she is. She was right in front of me the whole time and I missed it because of cubicle walls and a headset and an Auto In button that I hate. But it's been three years and a couple of weeks and even fewer dates, and I finally give up because it's useless to pretend that this isn't happening.

I'm in love with her.

I hold her tighter because who knows how long I'll get before I do something else that sends her storming out, and she squeezes me once before she lets me go, leaning back to wipe at her drying eyes.

"Are you going to explain to me why your personality just yo-yoed like crazy over the last few hours?"

I wince but try to hide it by tucking her hair behind her ears, but I doubt that fools her. She usually sees right through my bullshit.

"Low blood sugar?" I try and she arches an eyebrow at me. I blow out a breath. "Panicked," I confess quietly, toying with the collar of her sweater. "My mom said some shit that set me off and..." I make the gesture and sound effects for an atomic explosion, and I get half a smile from her.

"You're really going to blame your mom for turning you into a world class jerk?" she says, her voice carrying a hint of a reprimand, but it's mostly just to hide the touch of amusement, and I nod emphatically because I can totally live with that ratio. "Crazy," she mumbles and when she stretches up to press her lips against mine, I gasp. Like I'm in some sort of a goddamn chick flick.

But she either doesn't notice or she's trying to save my ego because she continues to kiss me sweetly, giving me some kind of promise that I've never felt before but I need it, and when she rocks back down onto her heels to rewind her arms under mine, laying her head on my chest, a whole lot of something clicks into place.

I hug my arms around her neck and drop my lips to her hair, taking a moment to soak her in before very quietly I tell her, "I swear I wasn't waving a flag with the test results. I just didn't want you to worry and figured that would be easier than us trying to talk about it." My voice drops lower. "And I needed to be sure before anything happened."

"Were you worried?"

"No," I tell her truthfully. "But I wouldn't put you at risk like that."

"Thank you," she breathes, then inexplicably huffs and shakes her head in distaste. "By the way, whatever cologne you're wearing…"

"Mm-hmm?" I smile and run a hand down her hair.

"I hate it."

I laugh heartily, then squeeze her once with an affectionate groan. "You would."

She lifts her head and studies me. "You weren't wearing it earlier."

I clear my throat. "Yeah…"

"Oh my God!" she shrieks and lets go of me to shove my shoulders. "You were totally gonna go out and find some girl to sleep with, weren't you?"

"I was in the middle of a relationship-phobic panic attack!"

She rolls her eyes and crosses her arms, and I sidle back up to her, resting my hands on her hips.

"If it makes you feel any better, it's only because I really, really like you."

"Oddly enough, that doesn't make me feel better."

"Hmm," I murmur and tilt my head. "You could stay with me tonight and make sure I remain a newly," I visibly swallow, "committed, good little boy."

"Choking on that word a bit, are we?" she taunts with a smile, and I arch an eyebrow at her.

"A little. Yeah."

She bites her lip. "I'm not asking you for a commitment."

"Thank Christ," I say dramatically in relief. "Then you won't mind if I go to a bar so I can go get laid."

"Damon!"

"Gotcha," I wink, then soothingly run my palms down her arms as she scowls at me. I weave my fingers into hers, and her eyes narrow as the corner of her lips turns up. She's the queen of hates-that-she-loves-it and it's so much fun. "Stay with me?" I ask and bat my eyelashes, and she bites her lip.

"I shouldn't…"

"Says who?"

"Says me. You were a total jerk to me tonight and that doesn't equal magically getting everything you want."

"Alright," I say and let her hands go so I can hold up mine in surrender, then I lightly cup her cheeks, kissing her softly.

And even though I try to keep it as chaste as possible, Elena still melts into me and her hands settle on my hips, tugging me closer.

I abruptly wrench us apart when my zipper pulls down a little more, encouraged by my hardening cock. "Don't get me all riled up, woman," I tell her, kissing her quickly once more before I let her go.

Just to see what she'll do, I flop down on my bed, propping a hand behind my head and picking up the remote with the other, and she throws a hand up in exasperation before walking out the front door.

Alright then.

I wasn't necessarily expecting that, but I'm gonna hold out hope for a minute before I go after her because I don't think she'd just blow out the door that way unless she was coming back. If she doesn't return, Plan B it will be. I turn on the TV and rearrange myself in my jeans, and the front door opens again, Elena closing it behind her and locking the deadbolt. I fist pump with the remote in my hand, not even trying to rein in my smug grin when she sets down her purse and keys on the kitchen counter.

"You're a horrible influence," she mutters, kicking off her shoes by the door.

"You're the one that has no resistance to peer pressure. While you're up, grab me a beer," I test and she picks up her shoe and throws it at me. "I was joking!" I laugh and she points at me warningly.

"We're not getting drunk tonight," she declares as she makes her way towards my closet, and my cheeks practically hurt from smiling as I watch her peel off her cardigan. I must look like such an idiot right now, but I don't give a fuck.

She's staying.

She opens the closet door, and something warm spreads through my chest as she hangs up her sweater between my shirts. Placed distinctly by the white button downs, of course, because it has to be in the right color order or the world would come to an end.

Crazy fucking adorable.

"And getting me to stay here is the extent of the peer pressure you're exacting on me," she says assertively. "So don't get any ideas."

"You don't get any ideas," I tease. "You are not painting my nails or braiding my hair."

She winks at me over her shoulder. "We'll see about that."

A/N: Alright, how we doing? That was some flip floppin' we done there, and *STANDS UP AND APPLAUDS for all who correctly guessed what was in that piece of paper ;)* And keep those reviews a comin'! And don't forget to fave and follow! Because we're gonna spend some time in that apartment over the next COUPLE of chapters. So hang in there with me :)

Now, if you REALLY want to read some amazing stuff, head over to In Time We Trust by my fabulous, amazing, astounding bestie/beta, Trogdor19, because she just did something in her story that I've NEVER seen before, EVER, and it will blow your minds! And I'm not talking about Elena whispering to a butterfly, folks, I'm talking like HOLY SHIT THAT IS WORLD CHANGING IN A SEASON 5 RE-WRITE. READ READ READ. And review. Because she deserves it for having the heart and soul of an angel.

See you next chapter!

-Goldnox