#9 - The Bracelet Theory
Sam gave a disgruntled sigh, the sound exploding forth to echo around her empty house. It rang in her ears, eating into her mind, reminding her once again just how alone she was.
And she was so tired of being alone. Her current annoyance with her life ate through her mind until she wanted to scream with it.
But no matter how much she wanted to run away from her own thoughts, or how long she tried to deny it, she kept coming back to one undeniable truth: if she was so sick of her life that she couldn't even consider anything of a personal nature, then she had to do something about it. It was up to her, and only her, to change things.
That's what had brought her attention to The Bracelet.
It appeared to be the typical leather bracelet that so many Americans were wearing these days. She'd even seen some people with leather straps like the bracelets wrapped around their ankles. And her bracelet looked just like the other bracelets currently popular on planet Earth.
Except hers was nothing like any other, and she knew that.
Hers was... There was no other way to say it: hers was alien. It had been procured off world. It was a relic of Stargate travel, not to mention the bond that this particular circle symbolized. It was the physical evidence of the promise that she and Jack had made to each other.
Jack... Colonel O'Neill... him. Sam grimaced even as she had the thought. At the same time, the familiar tingles that came whenever she thought of him washed over her - she still harbored feelings for him. She simply couldn't help it. They shared a promise - didn't they?
It was at that point that Sam gave an instinctual snort of amusement. Some promise! she thought sarcastically, a bit bitterly. Oh yeah, the bracelets symbolized their bond all right, but it hadn't turned out to be the physical evidence of that bond that either of them had expected. Instead of showing how much they loved each other, how much they wanted to be together, how they longed for the time that they could show everyone what they felt, it had mutated without their permission. Instead of all that, the bracelets they shared gave them leave to be circumspect, gave them the license to avoid, allowed them to deny everything. Above all, the bracelets gave them permission to not communicate in any way. Because, after all, she and Jack had bought those bracelets in the first place as an affirmation of their connection. Instead, they had become the instrument to ultimately tear them apart.
It had been such a good idea in the beginning, too. She recalled how excited Colonel O'Neill had been when he found them in the market of that far off planet, how he couldn't wait to show her, though he hadn't actually said anything to her out loud. Saying the words aloud almost made them too real, gave them power over them, so he had been silent, but ecstatic to show her his find. It was the merchant selling the bracelets who had explained to her how the simple braided lengths of alien hide contained microscopic hairs that, when united, wove themselves together in an unbreakable bond that was as strong as naquedah, yet as light as air. The gleam in the Colonel's eye was unmistakable when the merchant spoke of the two sides weaving together the minute anyone put one of the bracelets on. It was the one (and only) time that either of them even sort of referred to the invisible feelings that tied them together, and had tied them for the last several years.
They bought the bracelets without even haggling for them, trading his extra rations and her notebooks and three precious ink pens for the bracelets. Then in a ceremony so solemn that it rang with religious overtones, he placed the bracelet on her wrist, and a few weeks later, she did the same for him. The tiny hairs on the fiber instantly wove together as promised, and when all was said and done, they were as good as married, albeit in an alien way (and thus, invisibly).
And things had gone on quite nicely from there - for a little over a year, though they never acted on their unspoken feelings. At first, she had been extremely self-conscious about her new acquisition, as if anyone and everyone could take one look at it and just know that she and Jack were willfully breaking the frat regs just by having those bracelets. She had even taken pains to hide her bracelet from General Hammond by holding her left arm behind her back, by putting her right hand over her left wrist, by tugging on the sleeve of her BDU shirt until it was long enough to obscure the evidence of that hasty but heartfelt promise.
Then she had hit upon the idea to say that the bracelets were combat bracelets, something that would excite little if any attention. The next thing she knew, she and he had started a new and unofficial SGC fashion, where everybody who was anybody wanted a bracelet just like theirs. It swept the base like wildfire.
But she knew that there could be no bracelet just like theirs. Though many leather bracelets appeared on officers' wrists seemingly overnight, those bands were human in origin. Nothing even came close to looking just like theirs.
And so the bond between her and Jack remained unbreakable, no matter how they refused to acknowledge the other in any way.
But eventually, it was that lack of acknowledgment that did them in.
Now reluctantly thinking back to the information that she had unwittingly noticed the day before, Sam winced. Jack's bracelet was gone, vanished without even a mark to show that it had been around his wrist for over a year. Without a word to her, it was gone. He must have grown tired of wearing it, wearied of his unspoken promise to wait for the war to end so that they could be together, tired of it, and of her, and of them. It was the only explanation that made sense.
And so, Sam found herself facing a crossroads now. She could remain stubbornly loyal to a vow made without words under an alien sky, or... She could get rid of her bracelet like it meant nothing to her. She could cut that bracelet off and toss it away as negligently as he seemed to. After all, it was the physical evidence of something that obviously didn't exist anymore, so why should she feel bound to something that had run its course? It kept her from going forward, from moving on, from living. And she so wanted to live.
So, with barely a blink, Sam snipped the scissors on her bracelet, easily slicing it in half, setting her free. Then, without even looking at it, she tossed the alien piece into her trash, grabbed her purse, and headed out the door for yet another date with life.
She didn't know that across town, Jack was currently staring in forlorn melancholy at the piece of what had been his bracelet, cut away by a well-meaning Infirmary Nurse who was more intent on inserting an IV right where his bracelet had been rather than saving what she considered a fashion statement. Now he was trying to work up the nerve to tell Sam what had happened, and that it most definitely had not been his choice. Though he still didn't know what he was going to say to her, or if he was going to say anything at all, or simply make gestures and try to look utterly apologetic, he remained optimistic. He only hoped he wasn't too late.
But not long after his promotion came along, he noticed that Sam was no longer wearing her bracelet, either. General O'Neill never said a thing to Colonel Carter about the new trend she had unwittingly started. Jack didn't say anything to Sam about it, either.
Without its main instigators, the new fashion statement silently faded away, taking the bracelets along with it.