Chapter Eight:

Being a Man

*Nick*

I walked out of the room, my head aching as I tried to wrap my mind around what the doctor had just told us. Ellie was pregnant… I knew exactly when it had happened. Right before I was taken to be sedated, it was the only time she and I done it and we did it without protection of any kind.

I sighed, different emotions rushing through me.

"Nick, you okay man?" asked Coach as he came up to me.

I noticed Rochelle's concerned face behind him.

"Ellie's pregnant", I finally got out.

Their eyes widened and then smiles broke across their faces.

"That's wonderful!" Rochelle shouted, Coach nodding with her.

I just stared at them and their smiles began to fall.

"What is wrong Nick?" asked Ro, anger and fear beginning to show in her features, "You're not going to run away from this are you?"

I just stared at her. I didn't know what to say. I had never expected to be a dad and honestly I never wanted to be. I always thought it would just be Ellie and me forever.

"You better not do this Nick", Ro warned as she marched right up to me and stuck a finger in my chest, "Ellie loves you and if you…"

I cut her off though, my own nerves and anger making its way out.

"I love her as well dang it!" I yelled, "But a baby! A-a baby Rochelle…God, I am going to have a baby", I muttered as I dropped into a chair, my head in my hands just trying to breathe again.

Coach sighed as he held Rochelle back.

"Ro, go check on Ellie, I am sure she is scared to."

Rochelle hesitated after sending me another cold glare as she stomped off to the bedroom.

Coach sat down beside me. He was silent for a moment before he spoke.

"Congratulations", he finally replied, "You're going to be a dad."

I looked up at him, confused at the sudden emotion I heard in his voice.

"Nick", he said without looking at me, "When I was married to my first wife Carinthia, I thought I had everything I wanted. However when Caria got pregnant, I was so scared and so…so…I don't even know how to say it. I was just so dang frightened, yet I was excited at the same time and angry."

I looked up at Coach, surprised that he felt the same as I did now.

"Caria was ecstatic, but she was also frightened. Her family had hard times baring children, but she and I had total hope that our child would come out without any issues. I still didn't know how to react around her though. I was so lost as to what being a dad consisted of. Well anyways, my dad came to me one night and he said 'Son, I am so proud of you for being a man.'."

He took a breath as he continued.

"I was like 'What do you mean dad?' He said, 'Son, when a woman gets pregnant and you don't know how to feel, its natural. Your mother and I were nervous when we had you and I didn't think I wanted children, but let me tell you son…the moment I saw how happy your mother was and how cute you were…I never felt a stronger love in my entire life'. I looked at him like he was insane, but Nick…he was right."

Coach smiled at me as he continued on.

"When Caria had our son Raton, seeing her with that child…my child, I couldn't have been happier. Nick, the fear and confusion you are feeling now is normal and when you don't want a child, even the anger is understandable, but you have to remember you're not alone anymore. Ellie loves you more than life itself boy and she would do anything for you. I am sure that right now she is worrying herself to death over you and the baby. I didn't understand my dad in the beginning but I do now. He was right Nick, I was a man because I put my wife's wishes first and I decided to stick it through even though I was afraid of what the future might bring."

I had listened to coach and I understood what he was saying, but I was still so unsure. Did Ellie even want a child? Did she want to have a child with ME? What if she was angry I had made her pregnant? What if she hated me now?

"Boy I can see those questions flying through your mind", Coach said catching me off guard. I knew I must have forgotten to put my poker face in place. "Go ask her those questions, because I am sure she has some for you as well."

I nodded, agreeing with what he said. He was right; there was no need to fret. I just needed to talk to her about it. Still, even as I headed towards the bedroom, the closer I got to the door, the more nervous I felt.

*Ellie*

I was still crying when Rochelle walked in, a hesitant yet joyful look on her face.

"You doing okay babe?" she asked.

I nodded as I glanced at the doctor who stood there, a slight panicked look on her face. I don't think she knew what to say to comfort me.

"You can go doc, thanks", I said through my tears.

She nodded and quickly patted my arm and left the room leaving me and Rochelle alone to talk.

"Nick tell you?" I asked.

She nodded as she came over and sat down beside me.

"Yeah he told me", she said with a sigh, "I am sure it will work out fine dear."

I nodded but I was still so unsure.

"Nick hates me doesn't he?" I cried, my head beginning to hurt from crying so hard when I still felt so lousy.

"No Ellie", said Rochelle as she moved closer to me, giving me a gentle hug, "Nick loves you, he just…he just doesn't handle emotions well. Give him some time sweetie; I am sure he will be alright with it."

"I don't know", I said trying to talk as my tears threatened to trip me up, "he didn't seem very happy."

Rochelle sighed.

"Well he…" she stopped and I looked up to see what was wrong when I saw Nick standing in the door, his eyes looking between me and Ro but then they settled back onto me and he smiled faintly as he stepped in.

"Give us a minute Rochelle", he said to her without actually even looking at her.

Rochelle didn't seem to mind though and she quickly got up with a wink in my direction as she walked out, pulling the door closed behind her.

Nick sighed as he sat down beside the bed. He was quiet for a few moments and I just sat there, trying to read his emotions. I hadn't even noticed my own crying had stopped upon seeing him.

Finally he turned towards me and smiled sympathetically as he stretched out his hand and brushed away my tears.

"Sorry I let you cry alone", he said as he moved onto the edge of the bed next to me. He took my hand in his and then he sighed again, this time I noticed in frustration.

"Nick?" I asked.

He glanced at me.

"I'm so sorry I am pregnant! I know you probably don't want this baby, but I can't help it and I don't want it to die, I don't want to kill it, so please Nick, don't hate me, please!" I cried out.

He looked at me in shock as he held onto me as I balled into shoulder. He gently rubbed my back, no words coming from him.

After a few minutes had passed he gently pushed me up to look him in the face and he smiled, a real, Nick only smile.

"I'm to blame for this pregnancy as much as you Ellie", he started off, "And I would never hate you darling. I didn't want a child no, but honestly I had never actually considered it before. Now that you are pregnant babe, only you matter to me. Whatever you want Ellie…I want you to be happy."

I looked up at him in surprise. It sounded so…not like Nick, yet when I looked at him, I saw he meant every word he had spoken. Smiling, I wrapped my arms around him and he did the same to me.

"I want this baby Nick"

He nodded, "Then so do I."

"You don't hate me?" I asked.

He shook his head as he pulled me back, "I could never hate you Ellie."

I smiled and he smiled back as he kissed me on the lips.

"Congratulations mama, we are having a baby", he said with what I could see was still a lot of surprise and confusion.

I just nodded, "You to papa."

I felt his chuckle vibrate through his chest and I couldn't help but laugh along with him.