A/N I don't own BBC or DW

Book of the Update: Crispin by Avi

Chapter 17

Rose's head smacked against the glass and her hands were on her head, pulling on her hair. Wilf stepped forward slowly. "Is…is he…."

She shook her head. "S'not like that. Not really. Not yet," was all she said as she watched the Doctor slowly uncurl from the ball he was in on the floor of the radiation chamber. He got up to a kneeling position, his face blank and his eyes dead and unseeing. Sweat was beaded all over his skin.

"Hello," Rose said, giving a small laugh, still crying.

He smiled tightly and painfully. "Hello."

"Still with us?" Wilf asked and the Doctor shakily got to his feet.

"System's dead," he said, his voice a bit raspy, "I absorbed it all. Whole thing's kaput." He poked the door with one finger and it swung open, Rose scrambling out of the way and to her feet as well. "Oh, now it open, yeah," the Doctor said sarcastically, stepping out of the chamber.

"Well, here we are then," Wilf said, looking at the Doctor a bit confused, "Safe and sound. Mind you, you're in a hell of a state. Got some battle scars there," he pointed to the Doctor's face.

The Doctor just sighed and ran his hands over his face, the wounds fading as soon as his hands made contact. Rose gasped inaudibly, but he just sighed, looking at his hands.

"But…your face…how did you do that?" Wilf asked in total shock.

"It's started."

Wilf didn't say another word, but he walked over and wrapped his arms around the Doctor, who stood there without responding. After a moment, he gently pushed the man who had become a father to him away. "Time to go," he said quietly, heading out of the room and towards the TARDIS, leaving Rose and Wilf to sort of trail after him like pets.

They followed him down the hallway in silence and watched in silence as he unlocked the TARDIS and went inside. The ship seemed to hum sadly when they entered, and her console lights seemed a bit dimmer, like the old girl knew that he was breathing his last as this man. The dematerialization sequence seemed quieter, less vibrant, and she didn't hum and flicker the lights above the door like she normally did when they'd landed somewhere.

They were silent as the Doctor opened the door and stepped back to reveal Wilf's house. He stepped out of the ship, looking around. He saw Sylvia, Donna's mum and his daughter, walk outside the house and wave at them, smiling.

"Donna isn't feeling too well; she's asleep now. Go off and do whatever it is you do, but she needs her rest, so she'll not be going anywhere for an hour or two!" she warned, shaking her finger half playfully, half don't-you-take-my-daughter-away-again-you-alien. Jackie had often had the same expression when talking to the Doctor about Rose.

"We'll be back tomorrow," the Doctor told Wilf, speaking for the first time since they'd left the mansion. "Remind me, what's the date again?"

"Well, it's Christmas Day, 2009," he said in surprise.

The Doctor nodded. "Right." And he walked inside the TARDIS.

Rose put her hand on his arm. "We'll be back tomorrow. I promise." And she followed him, shutting the door behind her. "Where are we going?"

The Doctor looked at her, smiling sadly. "I want my reward."

And that was all he said.

He set the TARDIS to take them to some place that looked like a battlefield. Rose was confused until she saw, a ways away, Mickey Smith and another woman holding hands behind a half-collapsed wall. The Doctor nodded to them. "That's Martha Jones. Brilliant woman. She travelled with me right after I lost you. I think…I think I was trying to make myself feel better, pretend she was you. It didn't work. I think she might have been in love with me," he added, scrunching up his nose. "Well, now she's Martha Smith. Martha and Mickey." He smiled sadly and walked away, pulling her with him by their joined hands, just as the Smiths looked up and saw the two of them.

Then the TARDIS took them to a little neighborhood. Fall. The trees were all red and yellow and there weren't any cars on the street. A boy in a blue shirt was crossing just then, and the only car within probably ten miles either way happened to be right there, not slowing down at all. The Doctor lunged forward, pulling the boy out of the way. He didn't wait for a response, just walked back across the street and grabbed Rose's hand and led them back to the TARDIS. "Sarah Jane's son," he told her, by way of explanation. Behind them, the boy was calling for his mum to come and look, but the Doctor and Rose Tyler never looked back.

Then they were taken to an alien bar, and Rose got really confused. The Doctor ordered a drink for someone across the way and wrote the person a note. Rose didn't know who it was until the big elephant-like alien in front of her moved out of the way and she saw Jack Harkness, grinning at them. His eyes lit up when he saw Rose and he winked at her before looking over at the man next to him with the sailor hat on and looking down at the note again. The Doctor nodded and Jack slid over, smiling charmingly at the man. And then they left.

They went to a bookstore next, where the author was signing copies. The Doctor asked Rose to stay in the TARDIS, and she complied. When he walked back in, he mumbled something about a watch and John Smith and told her he'd tell the full story later.

He groaned in pain, but smiled tightly and walked over to the console. "I'm fine," he said, his teeth grit, "Best go and get Donna now, yeah? She'd kill me if-"

He hunched over the console, his eyes closed and his body shaking. Rose walked over and slowly, cautiously, put out a hand and touched his back. As soon as she made that contact, he spun around and practically fell into her arms, holding her so tightly she probably shouldn't have been able to breathe. He made a noise and it took her a minute to figure out what it was. It had been a sob. A loud, wet, messy sob, straight out of the Doctor's mouth. She had seen him cry before – tears silently running down his face – but nothing of this caliber, this….this…heart-wrenching sobbing.

"Oh, Doctor," she said, wrapping her arms around him and holding him just as tightly as he held her.

"Rose," he said into her neck, "Rose. Rose. Rose. Rose," he was whispering now, "Rose Marion Tyler. You fantastic, beautiful, brilliant, genius, wonderful girl. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you, and don't you ever forget that. Even if whoever I become doesn't know that, then you tell me, smack me upside the head, but please, don't let me forget that. I love you. I love you more than anything in the entire world, and you and the TARDIS are all I've got and now I'm going to die but please, don't leave me," he whispered the last part and she almost laughed.

"Doctor, I thought we discussed this a long time ago. I'm never gonna leave you. Never ever, you crazy old man, I love you. Don't you forget that. Took long enough to get it through your thick head, you bloody genius, so don't forget that I always will, and I won't let you forget. Deal?"

He nodded, and she felt water rub against her face and neck. He was crying. He was really, truly crying, with tears and sobbing and everything. "Deal."

She felt his face getting hotter, and his hands as well, so she pulled back to look at him. "Doctor….it's starting, really now….you're glowing."

He looked at her and she saw the fear in his eyes, and also the love and the passion and the raw, exposed emotion that he rarely showed. His vulnerable side. He grabbed her cheeks and pulled her face to his in a last desperate kiss. They'd kissed before, yeah, but never like this. This was a right proper snog, with hands wandering and tongues twisting and hair everywhere, and it was passionate and desperate and lustful and loving and gentle and rough and slow and fast all at once, and it was over entirely too soon as he was overwhelmed with the golden light and pulled back, breathing heavy.

Rose distantly heard someone singing behind the, perhaps from outside the TARDIS, in the Void, or perhaps somewhere inside the TARDIS, she didn't know and she didn't care. All she knew was that her Doctor had just snogged the life out of her and that now he was backed up against the coral struts, gasping in pain and glowing golden.

He looked at her and their eyes met.

"I love you," she said.

"I don't want to go," he replied, just before he exploded into golden energy, shooting from his face, from his hands and feet. He was changing.

Rose ducked down to avoid the energy, which was much more violent than it had been years ago when his ninth self had regenerated into the one with the spiky hair and pinstripes. This time, there was fire everywhere, and the glass on the windows of the TARDIS door shattered and rained down everywhere. The console was on fire, the coral was on fire, bits of metal were falling from the ceiling, the whole place was shaking like mad, and Rose hopped around for a while, finally deciding that under the jump seat would be the safest place.

She closed her eyes and covered her head, waiting for it to be over. Everything was golden and falling apart. The coral on the walls fell down to the metal grating, cracking into a dozen pieces on impact and sparks were everywhere.

She opened her eyes when she heard someone – a new voice she hadn't heard before – scream in pain and she poked her head up to see the Doctor.

"Rose! Hello there, come on out, I'm not going to bite! I don't think, anyway. Does this me bite? Ooh, what do I look like? No, wait! Wait!"

She slowly got out from under the jump seat and stared at him while he examined himself.

"Legs! I've still got legs!" he grabbed one and kissed his knee, letting it drop to the floor as he almost fell over. "Good. Arms. Hands. Fingers. Ooh, lots and lots of fingers."

The Doctor's suit was too small on this new man, Rose noted. It was stretched tight. Especially over his chest and legs. It was much too short.

The man – the Doctor – pushed his hands up to his face. "Ears, check. Eyes, yes. Nose," he patted it, "Augh, I've had worse. Chin…blimey!" He did have a bit of a chin. It was rather..…big. For a chin.

"Hair!" he reached up and grabbed his hair, panicking when he realized that it came down a bit longer than he would've expected – all the way to his collar and a tiny bit past that. "I'm a girl!" His voice cracked and he gasped. "No." he looked at Rose. "No." he felt his Adam's apple. "No, not a girl. No." he pulled a bit of the hair in front to look at it. "And still not ginger, ugh." He looked at Rose. "Have I ever told you that I've never once been ginger!"

"Doctor," she said quietly, speaking for the first time since he had changed. He stopped what he had been doing with his hair immediately and became serious.

"Rose Tyler. Rose Marion Tyler," he said, rolling her name around on his new tongue. "Rose. Rose. Beautiful name, have I ever mentioned that? Beautiful name for a beautiful girl!" he winked at her and the corners of her mouth slowly twitched up. She reached out and touched his chest, feeling his hearts beat.

He leaned in close to her face. "And guess what the best part is?"

She smiled slowly, searching his eyes. "What?"

"I," he whispered, "Love you. Rose Tyler, I love you. I love you very very much. Haha!" He swooped her up in a hug, laughing, and she knew that this was the same man. She laughed as he swung her around.

"I love you too, Doctor, now put me down and drive the ship! We're crashing!"

He set her down immediately. "Right. Crashing. Ship crashing. Not good." He turned to go to the console, but turned back fast as lightning and pressed his lips to hers before scurrying away to fix the TARDIS. She shook her head. This new man was different, but not bad-different, just….different. She liked him. Quite a lot, in fact.

The TARDIS lurched and pieces of her coral rained down around Rose, the fires flaring up again and smoke coming from the console.

"Can I help?"

"Yes, you can, Rose," he grinned when he said her name, "Grab that thing there, yes, that. We're falling to earth! Rose, I've never fallen to earth before!" he laughed again as the TARDIS spun out of control.

"Geronimo!" He shouted to the sky, and that word, Rose guessed, would stick with this regeneration.

"Geronimo!" She agreed with a laugh, pulling down the lever. The Doctor, in the TARDIS, with Rose Tyler. As it should be.

A/N DO YOU LIKE I TRIED HARD PLEASE TELL DOGE BAD GOOD BECAUSE MUCH STRESS