Chapter III, Cats and Bones

"Cute." The princess curiously looked around. "Almost like the inside of Ice King's palace." She sniffed around. "Still, the air is a bit... cleaner. Figures."

Numerous corridors sprouted in every possible direction. This place was like a maze and on it's end, there meant to be yet another portal, this time leading to her goal. Bonnibel thought deeply, yet navigating through the walls of flesh was hardly her specialty. She did noticed however that the pendant she wore on her neck started to glow at certain directions. It wasn't hard for her to figure out it's purpose.

"Oh Peppermint." Bubblegum shook her head. "You always walked behind me with a candle, whenever I wanted to go to our cellars...But that was when I was like, what, five?" She gazed at the necklace and played with it for a while. "Some things never change."

So she ventured forth once more. Without the device she would be lost in a matter of seconds. All the narrow corridors looked the same and there were numerous smaller coves, just to lure the trespassers no doubt. Her path led to a great hall which was almost totally flooded by something that resembled water. It was a bit too green to be just that however. Here and there, from it's depths, pillars that once supported the ceiling emerged, shattered and crumbled under the pressure of time. How the roof did not collapsed was beyond her comprehension.

"That's fascinating!" She gasped in awe. "This room must be ancient! Had I had the time to examine it properly..."

Bubblegum moved slowly through the path right in the center of this weird pond, made from one of the fallen columns. She measured each step, thinking if the bridge will hold on, as it shook with her each step. There was something unsettling about this place. Almost like if someone was watching her every move and waited for her failure. She could feel that and just as she processed that thought in her little pink head, a swipe came right out of nowhere. The princess quickly jumped back, barely dodging it. Something appeared right before her and stood in the darkness, looking curiously with it's big, yellow eyes. They seemed to glow a bit.

"Greetings, Bunnydell." The voice chuckled. "I thought you'd be bit higher. And purple." He whispered almost flirtatiously. "And less beautiful. I like them beautiful..."

"I like them that way as well." She tried to catch his glimpse in the shadows. "How did you almost know my name?"

"It is because I have approximate knowledge of almost everything." He said proudly. "And just enough certainty to see you dead soon enough."

"Good for you." She muttered. "Who are you?"

"Where are my manners dear. Excuse me greatly, my lovely meal! In front of such a sweet damsel in distress, I should be ashamed!"

"I may be a damsel. But I can be your distress soon enough."

"My. Sharp tongue you have..."

He came out of the shadows, finally revealing himself in full. He resembled a huge, green cat. Still, it was pretty clear that he was beyond that. His tail looked almost like a part of his guts, waving around from the end of his back. His legs were strange as well, with blank spaces between the knees, as his feet just floated around.

"A demonic cat. Heard about you." The princess shook her head. "You're in my book under 'nothing special' if I recall correctly. Or maybe I did put you amongst 'stinky fuzzballs'? Can't tell."

"You heard that from Frank and Jack no doubt. Feel their scent all around your little being." He bowed a little and smiled, revealing his teeth. "They're not with you however. Foolish, to come by all by yourself... someone could gut you, my dear."

"Finn and Jake. Yes." She ignored the letter part of his talk. "So what are you doing here? Heard you spook in a different place."

"Spook? Oh, you're rude to me, I think I'm going to sob into my pillow, that I will make from your lungs." His teeth glittered. "Nothing to kill out there. So I'm here and as it happens, you will be my sweet prey. Thrilled, dear?"

"Whatever fills your boat, cat." She shrugged, as she was hardly interested in what he had to say. "Or should I say kitty? Should I rub your tummy as well?"

"Such wit. But what a dashing damsel like yourself is doing here, one could wonder. Perhaps looking to die?" He grinned menacingly. "If it's the case, I can provide some help."

"Actually I'm looking for Death. So point for you again." Bubblegum eyed him from head to toes. "I can show you the way as well. With my fists."

"Looking to die, seeking death, all the same." He smiled even more and turned his head on the side.

"And what will you do about it? Meow on me?" She began to taunt him. "Or spit some fur?"

"Oh. Well. What I will do is quite simple." The cat made a step forward. "I haven't eat in a while. I could have a sugar meal. Or I could lick your skin for so long, that all that sugar would simply melt away."

"Truly you are a charmer."

"Aren't I, Berrynell? At least you have some sweet talk in you. Much more civilized, yes?" Once again, he bowed down slightly. "Still won't stop me from licking you like a lollipop." He chuckled. "Until you'll pop."

"Such flattery." She put a hand on her forehead and chuckled ironically. "Oh you almost make me shiver. Contain yourself you animal."

"I always have this effect on beautiful ladies such as yourself." His tail began to wave back and forth. "And I would enjoy our quality time, however. I'm bit hungry and the meal is cooling off. So now, I think I'll slip off the face from your skull, and make myself a mask out of it."

"Think I'll pass."

He waged his moves carefully, as every muscle in his slick silhouette trembled like a string. His eyes glowed even more so than before. Bubblegum on the other hand just stood and payed close attention to his doings. She knew a thing or two about biology and needless to say, she knew a thing or two about cats as well. When he finally jumped with much grace, she could easily predict his moves and simply swirled away from the impact.

"Swift and agile, should have expected that. You're like a mouse. Shame I'm the cat here."

He chuckled and jumped again, this time without needless demonstrations. And she simply rolled away once again. Seeing as third time is always a charm, he tried that once more. This time it was the cat however who underestimated her skills, since as soon as he landed on the ground, instead of her quick roll he received a kick straight in his face.

"Full of tricks. Full of sugar. Chewing you will be a delight. Undoubtedly." He chuckled. "Nice legs non of the less!"

He turned around quickly when she least expected it and whipped the ground with his tail. Before she realized it was simply a distraction, he did the same right at her legs, raveling his slick tool around them and quickly swooping her off her feet. The cat then jumped at her, in hope to chop off her face with a single bite. But as his maw closed, as he almost imagined the sweet taste he will feel, the only thing he felt was pain, as a metal object clutched in between his teeth. He looked down, only to see her wearing some sort of metal gauntlet with numerous sprockets.

"My, my, a girl that uses protection. Are you prepared for any occasion dear?"

"Better safe then sorry, right kitty?" She winked at him. "Besides, you're quite the animal."

"Still, it would be more pleasing without it."

"Less safe that way, huh?"

She punched him right between his eyes with her other hand, as he quickly spat her out. And they began to fight. The cat had to admit that he preferred when the princess just dodged his attacks, as now when he actually had to face her, her blows and kicks were rapid and fast. As he jumped at her once again, he decided to try yet another trick from his sleeve, quickly flipping out his tongue. It was a kitten like being, rather cute and slick. He had the same eyes as his bigger counterpart, only bit more charming. It also meowed a little and waved around right before her face in a poor attempt to mesmerism her. It made her stop, as she gazed at it curiously.

"Pet the kitty? No need to fight the kitty, right?"

She placed her hands over the thing's head and began to pet it, playfully scratching it's little, round ears.

"Aw, kitty wanna play?" She chuckled. "Let's play then. Pull the kitty!"

The big cat smiled and just as he was about to take a bite out of her, she instantly pulled the tongue so hard, that it's owner hissed in pain and quickly slipped out of her grasp. As he began to spat curses, she charged at him and grabbed him by his mane, pushing his body towards the murky fluid.

"No, no! You'll regret th..."

"All that dirty talk... You need a bath!"

As Bubblegum pressed onto him with all her strength, his body eventually felt down into the depths. She didn't really wanted to examine what happened to him and doubted that he's really dead, so she quickly began to run. Eventually, she reached a huge hall made out of corpses. It looked almost like an inside of a bone cage. The roof was lost somewhere in the darkness. The pillars around were shaped like sharp ribs. It was quite the sight. Seeing as her goal is so near, she began to walk slowly, as the bones cracked underneath her heels. Somewhere at the end of this chamber, near the back wall stood yet another spine-like altar that looked almost like the previous one, only this one had skull above the stone hands. She smiled.

"That wasn't so bad..."

Her smirk quickly faded as she clearly heard another crunching sound, somewhere deeper in the room.

"Show yourself. I can hear you kitty. You're hardly a graceful dancer, stomping so loud, huh?" She muttered once again. "Surrounded by morons..."

The shadowy figure laughed and jumped out from the shadows. It was the same fiend, a bit wet, yet mostly intact. He looked rather annoyed, yet still faked his appearance with a grin. He was almost charming, one could say. Like a Cheshire cat.

"You see. Hard to run from someone like me. I knew almost exactly where you were darling. The rest was just a pure guess."

"Great, mister dandy, but..."

The princess looked behind him. Some of the bones started to move and twitch. Soon after, body parts started to emerge from the ground itself, forming into what seemed to be an undead army. She gulped.

"And now, we shall proceed. I'm not going to lie, chewing on you will be delightfully amazing." He clicked with his teeth. "You won't feel a thing. Only a sensation, like kissing, you know..."

"Hush!"

She pointed behind him. The cat suspected some kind of trap from her side, but as soon as he heard ramblings and groans, he swiftly turned around. And there it was - a slowly moving and still forming mass of bones, screeching violently as they approached. It was like a wave with lust for blood. Their blood.

"Well well now, isn't that a surprise and an obstacle." He pondered, scratching his chin. "They will hardly be a dish for one such as myself."

"What, you did not almost foresaw your grave in here?" She grinned. "Was I that stunning to you?"

"Perhaps." He smiled. "Guess our pleasantries can wait, love. Oh, our affection can never be..."

"Yeah, they want your flesh as much as mine. Who knew that bones like sugar."

"So, guess we'll have to work together, huh?" The cat sighted. "What we all do to keep ourselves alive..."

"Happens." The princess shrugged. "Still, you ain't getting any sugar after that, we're clear?"

"Well, maybe I'll forcefully take some?" He gazed at the skeletons. "They're right behind you dear."

"Yep. I know." She giggled. "Don't need the approximate knowledge of almost everything to figure that one out."

Bubblegum gracefully put her other glove, almost instantly crushing nearby approaching skeleton, shattering it's skull into a million pieces. The cat shown off his claws and licked the fur around them in a nonchalant fashion, quite amused by her doings.

"The way you smash things dear." He whistled. "Color me impressed."

"Feeling amorous?"

"Quite so. Want me to kiss you with a tongue? And teeth?"

He said, as his claw ran deep into one of the bone adversaries that just happened to come closer. Battle waged. The skeleton parts flew around, as the two tried to fight their way through the overwhelming swarm. But with each crushed skull, with each shattered rib, with each hand they pulled out and chopped into pieces and finally, with each body they stomped on, more and more simply flew in. Eventually they got surrounded, as they stood back to back.

"What now, role-model?"

"Oh, you know, thinking." She smirked. "Not about you though. You should almost predict it however, don't you?"

"I cannot predict your butterfly and rainbow thoughts." He chuckled. "Besides, you hurt my feelings. Well. One way or another, I did picked up the wrong place for our amours it would seem."

"You are a smart kitty. Almost as smart as me. If only you'd stop spitting up the fur balls, I'd give you a kiss." The princess said, as she punched one of the larger skeletons in his jaw, displacing it from the rest of it's skull. She then used it to on impale it's ribcage, shattering all the bones on it's chest.

"Har, har. Laugh it up."

The cat tried to use his tail and whipped up as many undead as he was capable to, eventually raveling his tool around one of the larger ones, using him like a ball and chain. Still, there were simply too many.

"Hey, fur-licker."

"Yes my dear pain in the butt?" He said, as he put his claws right into someone's eye sockets.

"How fast can you go?" The princess asked, just as she threw a bottle of acid onto nearby walking corpses.

"Pretty fast." He chuckled with the skeleton tangled around his tail. "What, want to 'ride' me?"

"Dream to..." She rolled her eyes. "Drag me to that circle." She pointed at the round sculpture.

"To escape, I see." He spat out someone's hand. "I don't think asking for it to open will make it happen, huh? My sweet dear holds the key?"

"I do." She punched through someone's chest. "Literally in my head."

"In your head? Oh that means you think about me. Romantic!"

As he kept them occupied for a while, she made herself a makeshift lance and shield from all the bones laying around. Eventually, she felt a slick tail around her waist, as he grabbed her and put her right on his back.

"So my dear stead, ready?" She said with a snark. "Bet no one that fancy was on your back, like, ever."

"Milady, no one better than you ever placed her behind upon me." He chuckled. "Still gonna eat you at the end."

The cat tried to claw his way as best as he could. She on the other hand poked everything that got in their way. The lance and her shield weren't all that useful as they shattered almost instantly. The princess did the only thing she could think off, as she grabbed one of the skeletons that still moved and while holding him by his legs, started to whack the others that tried to surround them. Despite their efforts, they still moved way too slow.

"Hold on tight." Said the cat, as he jumped up on one of the pillars.

"Tight to you dear?" She leaned towards his ear. "Oh, always."

"Har har."

Quickly jumping from one sharp rib to another, swirling in mid air to avoid every possible obstacle, he eventually carried them to the spot.

"You need to buy me some time now." She winked. "And no peeking."

"Tsk." He clicked his teeth. "Always a catch."

As she recited the whole formula from the top of her head, the portal started to glow and water-like wall appeared right before her. In the meantime, the cat whacked everything that even considered coming near them. The corpses were like a wave however and it hardly mattered how many he put to rest since more of them just poured in.

"Ready?" He said just as he stomped on yet another pile of bones. He still found a moment to have a laugh however. "I swear, you always take so long with you make up honey."

"Almost done! And I'm a princess after all!"

She gazed at him and pondered. Leaving him here would make things easier. And in science, every so often you need to take some sacrifices for the greater good. Eventually however, her good nature took the best of her. The princess caught his tail, to both pull him towards the portal and to get his attention.

"Come on... come on!"

He looked at her and nodded, as they both jumped into the closing portal. It closed right before the boiling sea of undead. They drifted around in the void for some time, until they landed in a different place. Weird one at that. It was like an ocean of dunes, constantly shifting, constantly moving, constantly twitching. Each grain of sand was like a small, perfectly shaped diamond, glittering in the light surrounding them, despite the lack of sun above. The cat started to sniff around.

"So here we are, in realms and clutches of Death." He looked around once more just to be sure and chuckled nervously. "Guess our affection lead us here."

"Well." She shook her head and laughed. "Sorry to break it to you, but we're just poorly matched."

"Oh you are ripping my heart. I will eat yours one day. Anyhow. So what now my dear soon-to-be chewing toy?"

"I have a dealings with the man in charge. If he is a man." She scratched her chin. "Not really in mood for checking that." She giggled. "You kitty-cat. I don't know. I can only presume that you still want some sugar, huh?"

"Oh but this place makes me dizzy dear." He started to lick his fur calmly. She knew that he's nervous however, as his body trembled with each shift of the sands. " And while I'd love to dish with you and on you, I must say, I lost the appetite."

"You can always tag along if you'd like? I'm usually a bat person, still. " She clapped her hands and smirked. "Or did I broke your heart that bad?"

"No, no, I..." He shook his head and took a step behind. "I think I'm too charming for Death to see me. You know, don't want to make you jealous."

"Hm..." The princes looked him in the eyes. "You are afraid."

"That's just nonsense dear." He constantly looked around, almost as if he expected something, or someone, to pop out. "I am, as they say, without fears. Just with worries."

"Letting me go so easily all of a sudden, huh?" She giggled. "Suit yourself then."

"Just remember, um, dear, when you'll finish around, pick me up alright?" He sighted. "I may even consider not chewing on you for that. Undoubtedly."

She smiled and nodded at him, as she made her first steps into the dunes. There were no roads ahead of her, but the princess figured, that all ways here lead to certain destination. Death.