A/N I don't own BBC or DW
Book of the Update: Canterbury Tales by Chaucer
Chapter 19
He stepped out of the TARDIS, holding a handkerchief over his mouth and nose to block out the fumes, and looked around in confusion. Something felt….off.
"Rose! Amelia!" no response. "I worked out what it was," he yelled, running to the door and trying to unlock it with his sonic screwdriver. "I know what I was missing! You've got to get out of there!" it took him a few tries, but the sonic eventually unlocked the door and he flung it open, rushing inside.
"Rose? Amelia? Are you all right? Is anyone there?" he leapt up the stairs and ran over to the door that shouldn't be there and scanned it. "Prisoner Zero is here," he muttered, reading the results on the sonic. "Prisoner Zero is here!" He yelled, alerting everyone on the floor. "Do you understand me? Prisoner Zero is-" a creaking noise. He spun around, and the last thing he saw was a big piece of wood, perhaps a cricket bat, and then everything went black.
DOCTOR WHO
"….white male, mid-twenties, breaking and entering. Send me some backup, I've got him restrained." It was a woman who spoke, well, a girl really. She had pale skin and red hair pulled up underneath a police hat. She had been speaking into a radio, probably to other policemen. She turned to him, putting the radio away. "Oi! You, sit still."
He hadn't been moving. "I'm getting…..cricket bat?" he said, focusing on the blurriness and the dull ache in the back of his head.
"You were breaking and entering."
The Doctor tried to stand up, only to fall back, having been handcuffed to the radiator behind him. "Oh, that's much better. Brand-new me. Whack on the head, just what I needed."
"Do you want to shut up now? I've got backup on the way."
"Hang on," he said, putting together the pieces. "You're a policewoman."
"And you're breaking and entering. You see how this works?"
"What are you doing here? Where's Rose? Amelia? Where is she?"
The woman's eyes widened and she fidgeted where she stood. "Amelia Pond?"
"Yeah. Amelia. Little Scottish girl. Where is she? I promised her five minutes, but the engines were phasing; I must've gone a bit far. And where's Rose? I left her here, completely by mistake, with Amelia. Is she alright? Where is she? Has something happened to them?" he asked as he saw the woman's brows scrunch together.
"Amelia Pond hasn't lived here in a long time," she said quietly and his face fell. He looked shocked.
"How long?"
"Six months."
"No! No, no, no! I can't be six months late!" He sounded somewhere between laughing and devastated, and the girl looked a bit bewildered. "I said five minutes. I promised." He banged his head against the radiator. "Oh, Rose is going to kill me."
The woman turned away from him and began to speak into her radio again. He jerked up. "What happened to her? Where are they?"
"Sarge, it's me again. Hurry it up," she said into the radio, ignoring him, "This guy knows something about Amelia Pond."
"Hello? Yes, listen. I need to speak to whoever lives in this house right now," he said, his tone very serious.
"I live here."
"But you're the police."
"And this is where I live. Got a problem with that?"
His eyes flitted to something behind her. "How many rooms?"
"What?"
"On this floor. How many rooms on this floor. Count them for me now."
"Five," she said, raising her eyebrows at him. "One, two, three, four, five-"
"Six," he said quickly, looking behind her. "Look."
"Look where?"
"Exactly where you don't wanna look. Where you never wanna look. The corner of your eye. Look behind you."
She turned, very very slowly, and looked. And she saw it. "It's just like she said. It's really there."
"Who said?"
She ignored him. "How's that possible. I've never been able to see it."
"There's a perception filter all around that door. Sensed it last time I was here. Should've seen it."
"Perception filter," the policewoman mumbled, "That's what she told me. But I didn't listened. Thought she wasn't even real, for a while."
"Who? Who is she? Tell me, now!"
She ignored him again, walking towards the door.
"There's something hiding, and you need to uncuff me!" He yelled at her back.
"Don't have the key. I lost it," she said quietly, almost a whisper.
"How could you have lost it! Stay away from that door! Do not touch that door!"
She reached out and grabbed the handle. "She went inside. She said she saw something. Wouldn't tell me what it was. She said it was hiding. Asleep." The woman turned the handle, and it made a squeaky noise.
"Listen to me! Do not open that door!" too late. The door was opened. "Why does no one listen to me? Do I just have a face that nobody listens to?" he yelled at her retreating form as she went inside the room.
He began to dig through his pockets, but couldn't find it anywhere. "My screwdriver. Where is it? Silver thing, blue at the end, what did you do with it?"
"There's nothing here," the policewoman called from inside the room and he rolled his eyes.
"It could hide the whole room, what makes you think you would be able to see it? Now, please, just get out!"
"Silver, blue at the end?"
"My screwdriver, yeah."
"It's here."
He stopped searching through his pockets. "Must've rolled under the door."
"Yeah," she called out, her voice quavering a bit, "Must have. And then it must have jumped up on the table."
He froze and looked up at the door. "Get out of there," he said in an icy calm voice. "Get out of there," he yelled, less calm, when she didn't come out or answer. "Get out!" he yanked on the handcuffs, but it did no good. "Get out of there!" he was up on his knees, trying to see inside the room while still basically stuck in one place.
There was silence, and then he heard footsteps shuffling about in the room. "What is it? What are you doing?"
"There's something here, but…." Her voice was breathy and nervous.
"Corner of your eye," he said softly, and she asked what it was. "Don't try to see it. If it knows you've seen it, it will kill you! Don't look at it!" he heard a gasp. "Do not look."
And then there was a hissing, growling sort of noise, followed by a shrill scream.
"Get out!" he yelled, shaking the cuffs madly, trying to escape and save her. She came running out, slamming the door behind her. She was holding his sonic screwdriver. "Give me that." He fiddled with the settings, trying to ignore the sticky slime that covered it and was currently dripping onto his pants and onto the floor. It took a few tries, but he eventually heard the door click locked and set about unlocking his handcuffs. "Come on, what's the bad alien done to you?" he muttered and the woman looked at him with wide eyes.
"Will that door hold it?"
"Oh yeah," he replied sarcastically, "Yeah, course. It's an interdimensional multiform from outer space. They're all terrified of wood."
She glared at him, but then made a squeaking noise, looking at the door, which had begun to glow around the edges. "What's happening?"
He looked up. "I dunno. Getting dressed. Run. Just go. Your backup's coming; I'll be fine." He set to work on his cuffs again, wiping to goo off the sonic.
"There is no backup," she spat at him and he looked up.
"No, I heard you on the radio. You called for backup."
"I was pretending," she explained impatiently, "It's a pretend radio."
"But you're a police woman!"
"I'm a kiss-o-gram!" she took off her hat and flung it into the air, revealing lots and lots of red hair.
He stared at her, completely dumbfounded, but the door swung off its hinges and landed on the floor. A man with a dog on a leash stepped out on top of it.
The woman was shocked. "But it's just…"
"No it isn't," he told her, staring at it, "Look at the faces."
Sure enough, when the creature growled and barked, the dog's face did not move. The human was the one barking.
"What? I'm sorry, but what?"
"It's all one creature, disguised as two. Clever old multi-form."
When the man turned his head, the dog turned the same way at the same time, and vice versa. The woman backed up, pressing herself against the wall.
"A bit of a rushed job, though," the Doctor continued, "Got the voice a bit muddled, did you?" he called, asking the creature. It barked and the heads turned to look at him. "Mind you, where'd you get the pattern from? You'd need a psychic link, a live feed. How'd you fix that?"
The creature growled, exposing its teeth. Its long, sharp, fangs, dripping with alien goo.
"Stay, boy," the Doctor called, "Her and me," he patted the woman's shoe. "We're safe. She called for backup."
"I didn't send for backup. Not really!"
He sighed. "I know. That was a clever lie to save our lives. Okay, yeah, no backup. And that's why we're safe. Alone, we're not a threat to you. If we had backup, then you'd have to kill us."
"Attention, Prisoner Zero," called the voice of the guard with the eye and the message on the psychic paper. "The human residence is surrounded." It repeated that over and over again.
"What's that?" hissed the woman and the Doctor groaned.
"Well that would be backup. Okay, one more time. We do have backup, and that's definitely why we're safe."
"Prisoner Zero will vacate the human residence or the human residence will be incinerated."
"Well. Safe apart from, you know, incineration."
The creature walked into a different room and the Doctor banged the screwdriver against his leg, growling when nothing happened. "Come on, work, work. Come on."
"Prisoner Zero will vacate the human residence or the human residence will be incinerated."
"Come on. Come on…."
"Prisoner Zero will vacate the human residence or the human residence will be incinerated."
It finally lit up blue and he pointed it at the cuffs, unlocking them. He jumped to his feet and pushed the woman in front of him. "Run! Run!"
She yelped and began to run, him right on her heels. Through the hallway, down the stairs, through another hallway, past the living room, through the kitchen, and out the kitchen door into the garden.
"Prisoner Zero will vacate the human residence or the human residence will be incinerated."
He sonic'd the door shut and looked at her, still running. "Kiss-o-gram?"
"Yes, a kiss-o-gram! Now what is going on?"
"Why'd you pretend to be a police woman?" he asked madly, ignoring her question.
"You broke into my house! It was this or a French maid," she grumbled, stomping after him. They'd stopped running, but were still walking rather fast through the garden. "What's going on? Tell me!"
He stopped by the TARDIS and turned to look at her, exasperated. "An alien convict is hiding in your spare room, disguised as a man and a dog, and some other aliens are about to incinerate your house? Any questions? Me too," he responded when she answered with the affirmative.
He turned back to the TARDIS, trying to unlock it, but the old girl wouldn't let him in. "No, no, no! Don't do that, not now! It's still rebuilding, not letting us in!" He looked frantic, stroking the blue wood. The woman grabbed him by the arm and pulled him away, yelling "come on!", and he went with her, but stopped short just as fast, pulling her back.
"Hang on, wait, wait, that shed. I destroyed that shed last time I was here, smashed it to pieces."
"So, there's a new one. Let's go!"
"Yeah, but the new one's got old!" he cried, looking at it in astonishment. "It's ten years old at least!" he sniffed it, and then licked it and his face froze. "Twelve years. I'm not six months late, I'm twelve years late," he walked over to the woman, who looked like a deer caught in the headlights.
"He's coming," she said, but he ignored it.
"You said six months!"
"We've got to go!"
"This matters. This is extremely important. Why did you say six months?"
She snapped and turned on him. "Why did you say five minutes?!" she yelled, her face turning red.
He looked stunned. "What."
"Come on."
"What. What?"
"Come on!"
"WHAT?"
She grabbed his arm and began to run, pulling him along easily in his absolutely stunned state.
"Prisoner Zero will vacate the human residence or the human residence will be incinerated."
She screamed and turned the other way as they nearly ran right into the creature itself. She pulled him past her house and out of the yard and out of the neighborhood, but he stopped them on a little sidewalk-road once he regained the ability to think.
"You're Amelia."
"And you're late!"
"Amelia Pond, the little girl. That's you."
"I'm Amelia, and you're late," she agreed, walking away from him. He followed her.
"What happened?"
"Twelve years."
"You hit me with a cricket bat."
"Twelve years."
"Cricket bat!"
"Twelve years!"
He stopped short, and his hands flew to his head. "Twelve years. Twelve years. Oh my god, twelve years. Where's Rose? What's happened to her?"
Amelia opened her mouth to respond, but was cut off by something coming over the speaker of an ice cream truck,
"Prisoner Zero will vacate the human residence or the human residence will be incinerated."
The vender looked confused, fiddling with the speaker.
"No, no, no, no. We're being staked out…by an ice cream van!"
"Prisoner Zero will vacate the human residence or the human residence will be incinerated."
The Doctor ran over to the truck, Amelia hot on his heels. "What's that?" he asked the vender, who looked very confused, "Why are you playing that?"
"It's supposed to be Clair de lune," he defended, looking around, unsure what to do when the Doctor took his speaker and put it to his ear, listening.
"Prisoner Zero will vacate the human residence or the human residence will be incinerated."
He set it down and looked around the whole park area, listening. An old woman's phone was playing the warning from the guard. And a girl's iPod. And someone's car radio.
"Doctor," Amelia asked, "What's happening?"
He didn't respond, running away and jumping a short fence in someone's yard. She followed him, going around the fence instead of over it.
He swung open the front door to find an old woman pressing the buttons on her television remote, looking at the screen, which showed the guard's eye and was playing the warning over and over.
"Hello! Sorry to burst in like this! We're doing a special on television faults in this area," he explained to her. Amelia came up at his shoulder, and he looked at her attire. "Also crimes. Let's have a look."
He walked over and took the remote from her, examining it and the television.
"I was just about to phone. It's on every channel," she gestured to the image of the guard's eye. The Doctor patted her shoulder and she sighed and turned to Amelia. "Hello, Amy, dear. Are you a policewoman now?"
She smiled fakely and bobbed her head, seeming a little awkward. "Well, sometimes."
"I thought you were a nurse."
"I can. Be a nurse," she said, tense. The Doctor raised his eyebrows.
"Or, actually, a nun?" the old woman questioned, and Amy flung her hands into the air above her head. "I dabble," she said with a fake laugh.
The woman nodded, but the Doctor could tell she saw through Amelia's lies. "Amy, who's your friend?"
"Who's Amy? You were Amelia," he said in an accusatory tone and she glared at him.
"Yeah, and now I'm Amy."
"Amelia Pond," he said incredulously, "That was a great name!"
She pursed her lips. "Bit fairytale."
"I know you, don't I? I've seen you somewhere before?" the woman asked the Doctor, and he grinned.
"Not me. Brand new face." He stretched his jaw, as if to demonstrate. "And what sort of job's a kiss-o-gram?" he asked Amy, who gave him a murderous look.
"I go to parties, and I….kiss people," she said, trying to defend herself, "With outfits. It's a laugh."
He looked stunned. "You were a little girl five minutes ago!"
"You're worse than my aunt!"
"I'm the Doctor, I'm worse than everybody's aunt!" he looked at the old woman in front of him, "And that is not how I'm introducing myself," he told her, shaking the sonic screwdriver in the air.
She nodded, sort of smiling, sort of unsure, and watched as he sonic'd her radio, which began playing the same message in different languages. Korean. German. Italian. Swedish. French. Spanish. He shut it off.
"Okay. So. It's everywhere, in every language. They're broadcasting to the whole world."
He dropped the radio and ran to the window, opening it and shoving his head outside, looking up.
"What's out there? What are you looking for?" Amy cried from inside, but he ignored her, pulling his head back inside a few moments later.
"Okay, planet this size, two poles, your basic molten core, they're going to need a 40% fission blast."
The front door slammed shut and a tall, buff man walked in, carrying a bag with a big laptop inside. The Doctor ran right over to him and began to speak up in his face, looking up at the taller man.
"So, assuming a medium-sized starship, that's twenty minutes." He bobbed up and down, trying to be at the man's height. "What do you think? Twenty minutes? Yeah…twenty minutes." He looked back at the old woman and Amy. "We've got twenty minutes."
"Twenty minutes till what?" asked Amy, her hands on her hips.
"Are you the Doctor?" asked the buff man from behind him, and the woman agreed.
"He is, isn't he? He's the Doctor! The raggedy doctor!" she looked at Amy, "You remember? Oh, you used to go on and on about him!"
"Shut up." Amy said, turning bright red.
"I remember, Gran. Everything was always about the imaginary friends when we were kids."
"Jeff, shut up. Twenty minutes to what?"
The Doctor had gone and plopped down on the couch, ignoring them while they talked about him.
"Prisoner Zero will vacate the human residence or the human residence will be incinerated."
He stared at the television, thinking hard. "Human residence. They're not talking about your house, they're talking about the planet. Somewhere up there, there's a spaceship. And it's going to incinerate the planet." He looked at the television again, which was still repeating the warning. "Twenty minutes until the end of the world."
The front door banged open loudly and someone rushed in, a blur of pink and yellow. "We've got to do something, Amy! It's that guard, they've got a ship and they're going to….." she trailed off when she saw who was sitting on the couch.
His jaw dropped.
She looked stunned, and didn't do or say anything for a while. And then she turned on her heel and walked back out the front door, slamming it shut behind her so hard that the walls rattled.
"Oh no," he said softly, jumping up from the couch and running to the door, "That isn't good at all." And with that, the door was open and he was gone, running after her. The Doctor chasing after Rose Tyler. Again.
A/N I think I really really hate this like a lot I'm so sorry I tried I really did but it ended up just being the episode almost exactly the same save for a few mentions of Rose but other than that ugh hate it. Next chapter will be better and up soon I promise.