Hesitantly, Nicola Carpenter knocked on the door and waited a moment before opening it slowly, poking her head just into the room. Sarah Gardner had been moved part way through the month of down-time for SG-1. Nicola had overheard Daniel telling Sam that Sarah was now in a less secure local base, in quarters with windows and thick curtains. He had mentioned that Sarah was prone to days when she loved seeing the sky and days when she wanted to be consumed by the darkness. They had been off-world when Nicola had been eavesdropping, listening to Sam question Daniel on Sarah's memories. The former Goa'uld host had apparently not remembered anything.

The room was light and Nicola easily spotted Sarah sitting on a comfy chair near to the window, a small table in front of her and another chair opposite. Sarah turned to the doorway and smiled very slightly at Nicola. "May I come in?"

"Of course, Lieutenant."

Nicola closed the door fully behind her and approached the second chair. "You remember me."

"I remember a lot of people." There was a pause as Sarah focussed on a tree outside of the window, its leaves being gently blown around by the breeze. "You were kind to me as we escaped."

"Do you remember me from before that?"

Sarah's eyes pierced into Nicola's and something prevented either from looking away. "There's a lot in here." Sarah tapped her right temple twice, hard. "A lot of it, I can't explain with reason. It's just a moment that I can see, or a feeling I know to be true."

"That must be incredibly odd."

"Why are you here?"

"There's been an accident."

"Daniel?" Sarah demanded, sitting forward and breaking the hypnotic stare with Nicola.

"Umm, he's alive. Kind of in a coma, but we're hoping to fix things."

Relaxing backwards, Sarah fixed Nicola's eyes again. "So they sent you."

"Major Carter headed back to try and fix Daniel. Teal'c went with her and Colonel O'Neill won't leave Daniel's side."

"I look at Teal'c now," Sarah began, "And all I see is hatred. I feel disgusted, but I know I have no reason to. That's what *he* felt."

"What of the others?" The Zatarc responsible for Major Carter's kidnap had never been uncovered as their programming had been completed and it occurred to Nicola that perhaps Sarah could still hold the answer.

"Colonel O'Neill frustrates me. Both Daniel and Major Carter confuse me."

"How so?"

"There is something I covet from Major Carter. Something of which I am envious, but it isn't me, so I have no idea what it is. One moment I hate Daniel, the next I…" Love him, Nicola knew they were the missing words. "What about yourself?"

"Oh, I don't hate Daniel. That's not what you meant though. What about me?"

"Don't you wish to know what I feel about you?" Mutely, Nicola managed to nod. Sarah moved forward and placed her hand on top of Nicola's. She smiled and Nicola grew incredibly concerned. "You want the truth."

"About what?" Nicola's voice had become a whisper.

"About yourself. About Daniel. About me and the person I was, am and could be." Sarah began to squeeze her hand tightly. "Trust no-one, Lieutenant Carpenter, for when the time comes and you learn the truth, it will be too late. You have already lost him."

SG – SG – SG

"How's my patient?" Janet asked as she entered the infirmary room, smiling at Daniel as she did so. Sitting next to the bed was Colonel O'Neill and he gave her a slight small as a greeting.

"Feeling much more like myself."

"Good to hear. I just have a few checks I want to make."

O'Neill stood up. "I'll take that as my cue to leave." As Janet opened her mouth to protest that he could stay longer, he continued, "Sam's had enough time alone with Daniella by now." He turned to Daniel, "See you tomorrow."

Janet waited patiently, watching O'Neill as he left, before turning back to Daniel and she started the basic check-up tests. Daniel sent her a curious glance and she smiled, answering him, "Just to see if there are any nasty side effects from sharing your consciousness." Nodding, Daniel was unable to answer her as she put a thermometer in his mouth. "You're running a very slight temperature, but I'm sure it's nothing to worry about. I think you're going to be fine."

Relaxing back against the pillows, Daniel sighed in relief. "That's good."

"So," Janet began, "what was it like?"

Shrugging, Daniel looked down at his lap. "Aside from that moment when I broke free and managed to speak to you, I kept myself hidden. I couldn't deal with all of their thoughts, their feelings. Mentally, I feel oddly refreshed. Physically, I don't."

"Martice was fond of pacing."

"And the others were just unconscious?"

Nodding, "Teal'c for only a short while and Lieutenant Carpenter was unconscious the longest. I think her system isn't as strong as Sam's."

"Because of the protein marker?"

"Possibly. Or just because of her increased years working here."

"I'd just figure that she's more fragile at the moment, after the whole Osiris thing."

"Sam's stronger than a lot of us think," Janet said. Daniel suddenly made a move as if to get up and Janet placed a hand on his shoulder, stopping him. "Where do you think you're going?"

"Sarah. She's been on her own for too long."

"It's okay, Daniel. Calm down and sit still." Janet shook her head whilst also thinking how amazing it was that Daniel's thoughts were always on other people. "Lieutenant Carpenter went to visit her."

"Oh." Daniel relaxed a bit and Janet removed her hand from him. "Is she okay?"

"The lieutenant or Sarah?"

He looked at her in confusion and then realisation washed over his face. "Both."

"Carpenter will be okay. It did take her longer to shake off the neural shock, but aside from a few headaches, she'll be fine. I haven't seen her yet to hear how Sarah is, but I suspect she'll be fine with seeing you in a few days."

"A few days?"

"Daniel, I am not risking you out there that soon after having at least twelve other personalities in your mind."

"But you said that they were all removed."

"They were, but it's hardly a run of the mill medical condition." He still had a defiant, put out look upon his face and so, in a quieter voice, Janet said, "I almost lost you today." There was more that she wanted to say, but there were too many things stopping her. Colonel O'Neill's reasoning that Daniel was not military was not a good enough get out clause. Daniel was still a member of the facility and under her medical care. Unaware of his feelings and thoughts toward her, Janet could not say everything else that she wanted to.

"I'm too busy to go anywhere," Daniel grinned and Janet found herself only able to nod at him. Excusing herself quietly, she pulled the curtain slightly around his bed and made her way to her office. It was not quite yet night time, but she knew that Daniel needed to rest. Janet had only been sitting at her desk, attempting to write up some notes and failing spectacularly, for a few minutes when there was a gentle knock on her door.

Looking up, Janet saw Carpenter standing in her doorway. "May I come in?"

"Of course," Janet smiled and waited for Carpenter to enter the office, closing the door behind her and sitting down on the opposite side of the desk. Carpenter had always been the more aloof member of SG-1, even more so than Teal'c a lot of the time, so it had been a surprise when the young lieutenant had started seeking her out for medical reasons. Janet assumed that she was the only one, other than, perhaps, Doctor Mackenzie, who knew the true extent to Carpenter's suffering over the past few months. It was not yet at the point to be affecting her work, but Janet knew that as soon as it did she would have to inform O'Neill and General Hammond. In retrospect, Janet was glad that Carpenter had never sought her out for a friendship in the few years she had been assigned to SG-1. "How are you feeling?"

"There's still a bit of a headache." Janet could see on her face how Carpenter believed that she was failing because of such a small weakness.

"I can prescribe you more pain meds."

"No." She shook her head firmly. "Thank you, but, I'll be fine. I keep thinking how relieved I am that I simply had neural shock." There was a breath for a pause. "How is Daniel?"

"He's just over there." Janet motioned with a hand through the windows of her office to the curtained bed. Carpenter's head followed and then looked back at Janet. "You should check in with him. I know he wants to know how Sarah is."

"Perhaps later." She was looking down at her clasped hands and Janet knew that Carpenter was not going to visit Daniel. Janet had her suspicions that the two had barely spoken since their return from rescuing Sam.

"How was Sarah?"

"She… said some stuff."

"Are you okay?"

"I just… I still see it."

"Are you still having problems sleeping?"

Her eyes were focused on nothing as she spoke quietly and carefully. "No matter what dream I'm having, out of the blue, I'm dying."

"Do you still see Sam?"

There was a long silence before finally Carpenter admitted, "If I say 'yes', you'll recommend I be taken off her team. If I say 'no', you either won't believe me or you'll say I'm repressing."

With a slight laugh, Janet uncharacteristically used the lieutenant's name. "Nicola, there is no right or wrong answer. Most people in this place are in unknown medical waters. I will advise the general if you're having nightmares about Sam, but it alone wouldn't mean that I'd suggest you aren't fit for duty."

"I do see her. Sometimes. Sometimes, it's obvious that it's her, normal Major Carter. Other times she's … Osiris still, but hiding in plain sight amongst us. We're all in the briefing room – SG-1, General Hammond, you, too. Major Carter's in the middle of giving a speech about something, when out of the blue her eyes flash and she…"

"What?" Janet asked softly.

"She kills you with no thought and then General Hammond. Colonel O'Neill and Teal'c race toward her and she knocks them unconscious, but I feel that they're still alive. She stabs me, again, and as I lie there bleeding out she takes Daniel's hand and they walk out together."

"When do you wake up?"

"When the bleeding stops."

"Can I assume that, in the field, you follow all of Major Carter's orders?"

Despite the topics being discussed, Nicola smiled at Janet. "I know the difference between reality and dreams."

"I'm not an official dream interpreter, but do you feel abandoned or betrayed by Daniel?"

"I'm the betrayer."

This confused Janet and she sat forward slightly. She was fully aware that, since the Osiris incident, Carpenter had been distancing herself from Daniel even though she had been trying harder with other members of the SGC. Janet had to admit that she found it disconcerting that, at least in the lieutenant's dreams, she was the first to die. "Who have you betrayed?"

"Fifth. The human Replicator. And he was human, for all intents and purposes. He had a humanity within him and he trusted me. I know that I'm different to the other officers that are stationed here. I always have been, since my first real posting. But no matter what anyone used to be able to say about me – distant, unfriendly, unapproachable, harsh – I could never have been called a betrayer." Furiously rubbing tears away from her eyes, Carpenter stood up. "I have to get going. Thank you, doctor."

Janet was fully aware that the lieutenant had not answered her direct question, which, in some ways, hit home with Janet a bit too much. Ever since Sam's heavier personal involvement with O'Neill, Janet had started to feel that little bit more alone. Her feelings had only been amplified when Daniel's friendship with Carpenter had strengthened. Now, with Sarah needing a lot of Daniel's attention all that kept going through Janet's mind was that, soon, with Cassie's impending graduation of high school, she could end up all alone.