Chapter XXVI, Marceline

The vampire walked out from the bushes. Her clothes were torn and her skin had numerous scratches and bruises all over it's surface. Even if they began to slowly mend already, it was quite the sight. As soon as Bubblegum saw her, she got up and ran straight to her. She wanted to embrace her, she wanted to show her companion how much she missed her, yet the pale girl stopped her from doing that with a quick, yet delicate shove.

"Hi..." The pale one shook her head. "...Bonnie."

"Marceline!" The princess took a deep breath. "What happened?"

"We had a little..." She paused as she looked for the right word in her head. "...party. Bit of thrills here and there. Not much."

The girl looked into her lover's eyes. So much life in those little pearls. It was almost as if she wanted to stay that way for as long as it was possible. Almost as if something was meant to happen to change this state. Bubblegum just looked back at her and waited.

"Bonnie." She finally sighted. "I'll be leaving soon. For real this time."

The princess knew that this will come eventually. Perhaps she was to blame. Maybe. Maybe back then, she should told her lover what's in her head. What's in her heart. Perhaps she should knew it better. Still, part of her wanted to explain, part of her wanted to defend herself, even if the worm was just responsible for letting out the things that were buried deep inside. Nothing more, nothing less, as they were in there all that time.

"Marceline, listen..."

"No, today you will listen Bonnie."

She smiled sadly and came closer. It looked like she was about to give her a smooch, but as she closed in her lips, as she let out her tongue, she eventually resigned midway. She resigned, even if she wanted it to be otherwise. Even if she really wanted to do just that. To forget. Forgive. Love. Kiss.

"Nothing I will say and do will change what's in your head Bonnie. Nothing what I will hear from you and how I will react to your words will change whom you love and whom you think about. I tried to change that so many times. I was stupid." She cringed a little. "Even if you say otherwise, even if it is otherwise... there's still that very notion."

The little vampire grabbed her hands. Bubblegum once again felt how cold they were. That, and how much they shook. She wanted to say something to perhaps change something. To explain things. To encourage her lover. To soothe her worries. The pale girl was first one to speak however.

"The moment we kissed... "Marceline whispered, putting her lover's pink hand on her chest, pressing it as hard as she possibly could. "I knew... I knew I don't want anything else from my life. Just that. Everyday. Forever... My Glob... Your soft skin. Your cold cheeks. Your closed eyes. The way you shivered. The goosebumps on your neck. The first time you actually hold my hand. Your beating heart... and not so long ago... The first time you said you love me. You love me." She sighted. "Me. You know how happy I were? Do you even know what a treasure you are to me?"

Her fingers tangled around the princess hands even harder, as their fingernails went deep into her pink palms. She did it so hard that Bubblegum almost gasped. Still, she hardly cared at this point. She just wanted to feel them. To feel them as much as she could.

"Remember the very first thing you said to me after we kissed for our very first time? I do. The moment you said there never was someone in your life... like me? I felt special. For the first time in my life I felt special, for what I was. Not for what I wanted to be." She shook her head. "Not for what someone wanted me to be. But just little ol' me. Just little ol' Marceline. Your Marceline."

She finally smooched her lover on her pink forehead with much love and care. Still, she was holding back. A lot. Bubblegum felt it all to well. Just like the fact that she was the one responsible for this state. It all went full circle it would seem. That always was the case with her. When you live for so long, you're bound to repetition. When you live so long in your precious tower, you're bound to forget your previous mistakes.

"Remember what you said a month later? 'What's that Marceline? A bruise on your knee? Can I scope it? I'd like to scope something else after that...' " She blushed. "And then, just like that, there was more than just kissing."

She let go off her hands and turned around. To see her in this state, that was the real punishment. Once again, she was tared down, broken. The princess could clearly see that, she knew her all too well. But, unlike the old days, it was this pale girl this time around that found the courage to speak up. That found the courage to talk about it. That found the courage to withstand it. And, eventually, once again she tangled her fingers around her lover's, almost as if she still thought about what to do. How to act. That, and she knew that whatever she'll decide, it will be permanent this time around.

"So I say those things way too little. Bite me. That doesn't mean I don't think about it. Every time. Every single moment. Every brief second. Between every breath. Every time I think what a lucky gal I am, to have a gal like you by my side." She looked at the ground. "Even if you're not around."

The vampire began to walk around her lover, gazing at her body from each and every angle. Thoughts cruised in her head. Regrets, memories, guilt, longing. That, and she knew that after a certain point, there is no turning back. It's simply impossible.

"I always told my father all the charming lies about us. A friend. A good friend. Closest friend. Almost like a sister. You know, it's not like I didn't want him to know. Every time I saw him and those words could not pass by my throat, I felt ashamed. I thought it was I who was unfair. Unfair to you." She cleared the hair from her forehead. "But between you and me. I think he already knew the things I wanted to tell him."

"Marceline, I didn't kno..."

"No, you didn't. Thought I don't care huh? I do. I really do." Pulling her closer towards herself, the little vampire placed her head on the princess shoulder. Staying like that for a while, she finally whispered. "If I were to choose, the world or you, the answer would always be the same. I'd never pick anyone else. I'd never pick anything else. And if I were to perish tomorrow. I'd still had today to remember." Saying that, she pushed her away, still however holding her hand. She was really confused, and it was hard for her to express how she felt. "But you had others." The girl sighted. "Just like that, you had others."

Marceline bit her lower lip, caught in her dream like state once again. The pink one could only try and guess what she was thinking about right now. Either way, while she was hesitating, the princess finally attempted to respond.

"But what about..."

"What about Ash you'd ask? What about him. You think that Ash was a mistake? You're right." Her whole body shivered. Now that the princess thought about it, she never told her much about that one particular person. How much did he hurt her? "You suddenly found someone? I wanted to find someone too. To copy you, to make you jealous... So I did found someone... We both know how that worked out." Suddenly, she leaned down and smooched Bonnibel on her pink, soft cheek. The princess was quite surprised. "You said once, I never had to be perfect." The vampire placed her finger on her lips. "But I wanted to be. Just for you. Nobody else. I never cared much about the others, despite what I said Bonnie. I say a lot of things. I joke about a lot of things too, you know that?..."

Yet again, a vague smile appeared on her pale face. Bubblegum knew it was forced as she did that a couple of times before. Mostly when she tried to hid her feelings from everyone around. When she tried to keep it cool and calm. When she tried to pose that everything is alright, despite the fact that her whole world crumbled. The princess never enjoyed it, especially since most of the times, that particular smile was meant for her.

"...That doesn't change how I feel however." She sighted. "That was always the same, you know? Same old Marceline, with her freaky habits, don't look at her, don't listen to her, she'll be fine once the anger passes away." She rolled her eyes. "She is just angst, she doesn't know much about life yet, despite living for so long. She will calm down. It will pass. All will be fine..."

Once again, she came closer, this time hugging her lover a little bit. The battle in her head overwhelmed her, and the worst part was, that the princess hardly knew how to help her. How to make it better. How to make everything good. How to fix it.

"You told me to be patient. Every time we met you told me that. You promise, you smudge my hair, you kiss me. You tell me that all will be fine, all will be alright." She whispered. "All will be alright Marceline..." She placed her arms on princess shoulders. "All will be fine. Everything will be fine, I promise, everything will be fine..." Her fingernails ran deep. "Don't cry Marceline... just don't cry... I'm here. I'm here."

She finally let go, seeing as her grip was too tight and probably hurt her lover. The girl assumed that the princess was frightened by her motion. That hardly was the case. She was terrified alright, but rather by the fact that she knew where this will lead them to.

"And then every time, again and again, you have your 'work' to do."

"Marceline, you know that..."

"But I'm the fool. I'm the one that keeps coming back." She gazed at her. "And I don't regret every single time I did just that... It's just..."

"Just?..."

"I don't need shackles. And I don't need to be locked up, to be in a cage Bonnie."

"Marceline..."

"But you were right about one thing back then. I'm selfish. All that time the most terrifying thought for me wasn't the one that I'll remain alone. No. But the thought... that someone is kissing those lips. That someone is caressing this body. Someone else is giving you goosebumps. Someone else is..." She gulped. "Is special to you." She shook her head once again. "No more holding back."

"No holding back?" She asked despite the fact that she already knew the answer. "Holding back from what Marceline?"

"Every time someone was near you, I waited and hoped." The girl tightened her fists. "That he won't take you from me." She started to count in her head, before she finally spoke it out loud. "Guy... Finn, that red thing – Ricardio, was it? And Glob knows how many others. You even had a suitor. All of them are somewhat an option, yes? Or were." The vampire turned around once more, avoiding her lover's look as tears slide slowly on her pale cheeks. "I wanted to be your ultimate plan Bonnie. The one that ends with happily ever after."

The princess came closer and touched her back, smudging her spine inch after inch, bone after bone, just like her lover enjoyed it back in the days. This time however, the moment for pleasantries was long gone, as Marceline quickly shook her off.

"What you'll say now Bonnie?" She sniffed. "That Guy was just someone recalled by the worm? Some recurring dream? That I shouldn't worry about it? Think about it?"

"He was..."

"That's not the point." She silenced her. "The point is, that he still lingers in your head. You still think, consider. Always a second plan. Always a quick way out. You're smart." The girl poked her in her pink forehead. "Too smart for me in that regard."

She leaned, closing her eyes, as their lips met. The princess felt overwhelmed by this single notion. It felt almost like the very first time they did that. Much shivering. Much fear. Perhaps some hope, hidden deep inside. It lacked the thrills and the charms however. It lacked the curiosity they had before. Her pale lips weren't greeting her. They were saying goodbye.

"I'd rather just go... and just be alone, not knowing who you gasp to in your head... I know I won't find anyone like you. And I'm not even sure if I want to try." She strengthened the grip. "You are everything to me. Everything. That's why I need to go."

She eventually released her from her clutches, as she looked directly at her pink silhouette. Bubblegum's eyes seemed to glitter, as she tried to stop herself from shredding more emotions.

"What can I do to make you stay?" Eventually she said slowly and quietly, as her whole body trembled with each and every word. "What can I do?..."

"We're... beyond that I'm afraid."

"Why?"

"I gave you enough tries Bonnie. I know I've fucked up a couple of times too." Vague smile appeared on her pale face. This time it was sincere. "Hey, don't look at me like that, yeah, I say inappropriate things sometimes. That's just me. Silly ol' me. But compared to you..." The girl took a deep breath. "Sometimes I think I managed it well."

"So, just like that?..."

"No..." She shook her head, still smiling towards her. Her eyes and cheeks were wet. "I... I will follow you for a while. I don't want anyone to hurt you." She paused and gulped once again. "But nothing aside from that. You won't even notice me. I will protect you." The girl sighted. "And that is all."

The princess knew very well that those words will come. Everything was calculated. Everything was just as planned. Still. Despite the fact that she prepared herself for it, despite the fact that she knew that this will come, hearing it now broke her. She thought about running away, just like before. She thought about it deeply. Escape in this scenario would be so easy. And then, a spark appeared in her head. It all started because of her running away. It all began because she was afraid. She tightened her fists and stepped forward.

"No running this time."

She placed her fingers around her crown and took it off. At first, she gazed at her reflection just for a little bit, looking at the precious gem at the very top of this beautiful ornament while at it. That was quite the thing. Many would enjoy the notion of wearing it at least for one day. All in all, despite it's shining surface, it was a burden. She took a glimpse of her lover, then she took one more glare at her precious jewelry. The decision was made however, as she simply threw it away. It rolled back, landing somewhere in the murky depths. She didn't even looked after it.

"I remember what I said. And I would never threw back any of those words. What I did, I did. Everything that's in my head, like every single regret, will bite me all the time." Tears slowly started to drip from her eyes, all across her sweet, pink face. "But there wouldn't be a greater regret. No, there wouldn't be... There wouldn't be anything worse than just letting you go. I couldn't even imagine the moment when I would wake up without the slightest chance that we would met again. Without the slightest chance of me, touching you. Feeling you..."

She spoke so fast that she was hard to understand at times. Still, Marceline listened to every word in silence, as once again, her black embers were fixated on her lover and only on her. One could say, they were fixated on her whole world. Or at least the part that mattered the most.

"I never wanted you to be perfect." She shook her head and wiped out some tears. "I never wanted you to be 'easy'. Never said that I have issues with what you are." Bonnibel bit her lower lip. "Never said I don't make mistakes. I do. All the time. All of them were my mistakes. Guy was also one of them. But this... I..."

Just as she said that, she began to search for something in the clutches of her dress. The more time it took, the more hysterical she got. Eventually, as she found it in one of her pockets, she calmed down a bit it would seem. The vampire was still quite puzzled by her doings, and gazed in silence, still waiting.

"I just want you. No matter what, I just want you. You're right. I made promises that I broke, I made them oh so many times..." She paused and couldn't help herself, as she reached once again for her lover's arm, tangling their fingers together. "But... you are also right about one thing. I always have a back up plan."

She nodded, as she still played with her lover's fingers. A delicate, smooth touch with much feelings involved. A touch so light, that it was almost ethereal. Blissful It could be considered soothing perhaps, still, the vampire slowly was loosing her patience. Partially because she couldn't handle those feelings anymore. Partially because she was torn apart inside. Partially because she expected something else. But mostly because she loved her, and couldn't bare it anymore.

"I... I wanted to..." The princess finally said. "I just wanted..."

The princess clearly tried to say something. Something of great importance it would seem, yet the words hardly passed by her throat. Marceline began to ponder. What's her plan this time? She surely has one but the question is, what will it be. How will she try to convince her on this occasion. She already told her that they're beyond words. They're beyond empty promises. And just as she thought about it, just when Bubblegum played with her hands further, just as the vampire was meant to shove her away, the pink one slipped something on her pale finger. Her eyes widened and her heart stopped beating for this single moment. She looked down just to make sure it wasn't yet another dream. Yet another illusion. No. The thing was right there, on her hand, glittering towards her. What she felt, couldn't be described by simple words.

"I'm not good at this..." Bubblegum whispered as she went straight into her arms. "I'm just not good at..."

"It's alright..." She finally embraced her tightly and closed her eyes. "It's alright."