A/N: Hi hi! :) It's been FOREVER! You know... life but I won't bore you with the details. I'm back though so I hope you guys are still up for reading this story. :D
This chapter is bitter sweet. :x Sorry in advance. We will be seeing what happens when Helena and the people she loves are threatened. I wanted to mirror the show as much as possible in terms of how specific events take place. This is an AU, but I like to make sure the show still lives in it so people can enjoy seeing the similarities and familiar themes and situations.
WARNING! SMUT. A little bit of smut in this one. Enjoy! :)
...
Myka was the only one awake; sitting on the couch with a different book in her hands than what was there only a few hours earlier. Helena should have been back. Her hands were shaking, tears silently falling from her eyes as she took in the sight of her new friends around her. They were all so peaceful, sleeping as if there weren't a care in the world. Myka looked back and forth between the book, her friends and the door so many times that she made herself dizzy. Just as she stood to sneak out into the woods, the door opened.
"Helena?" Myka instantly started to cry as she quickly ran to the older woman.
"Myka, darling. It's okay." Helena said as a body was thrust forcefully against her. It would have knocked the wind out of her if she had anything left. She was still a little tired from her running around, but she was slowly gaining her second wind. "I'm okay love. I promise." Helena was whispering as she noticed the bodies sprawled around the main room of the warehouse.
Helena leaned her forehead against Myka's as they lowered to their knees, both exhausted mentally and physically. Myka's face was between Helena's hands as they both let their tears fall; the younger woman's out of worry and the older woman's out of grief.
"I love you Helena and I don't want to live without you." At Myka's words, Helena stiffened, now racked with sobs. "What is it?" Myka pulled back. "I'm sorry I didn't mean to make you..."
"Shhhh. Darling please... I... I love you so much Myka but... I need to leave."
Myka's face fell. The words were so heavy in her chest that she couldn't breathe. She wanted those words to turn out to be a nightmare, wanted to wake up in Helena's arms and forget this day ever happened. "I'm coming with you."
"You can't. They'll be looking for me Myka. I don't know how long they'll look but I think I just need to go for a little while. I'll be back."
"Why?" It was a word that Helena had always been asking herself. Every unfortunate incident in her life had her wondering why. Until Myka Bering came into her life. When the beautifully breathtaking creature before her stole her heart she started to have hope and ask instead of why; why not?
"Because I killed McPhearson." Helena glanced at the ground, afraid of what Myka would think. "The search party... they all saw me."
"You... you were just protecting us." Myka shook her head frantically trying to formulate reason and make a plan. "McPherson would have come here and killed all of us. You were protecting us... protecting me."
"That is true my darling, but it doesn't excuse the fact that I killed him and there were witnesses. I must go." Helena had to force the words out. Myka started to cry even harder, almost waking their friends as they all stirred at the hushed whispers. "My love please. I'm not leaving tonight, but I will have to go tomorrow at first light." Helena took a breath, bringing her hands to Myka's chin and guiding her face so they could look into each others eyes.
Myka surged forward and kissed Helena; a kiss that would have been silent if the feel of their lips pressed so closely together and the taste of salt from lingering tears didn't cause whimpers of need and want to escape those very lips. Myka hummed against Helena as her hands wound around the older woman's waist, pulling her so they were flush against each other.
When Helena broke the kiss it was only to look deep into Myka's hazel eyes as they caught their breaths. She read Myka like a finely written novel, a poem that she herself could have produced, a story that her own brilliant mind could have thought up, a dream that only her heart could have felt. Seeing everything Myka wanted in one look, Helena simply nodded and pulled Myka to stand up with her and slowly lead her to their room.
The door shut behind Helena as she entered the room after Myka. They were both still breathing hard, cheeks still damp with tears. There was so much to say to the young woman before her; but before any word could escape the baracade that was her lips, Myka was pressed up against her, pushing her against the heavy door.
"Myka." Helena whispered into the dark room, against Myka's curls as the young woman's lips found the curve of her neck. She felt her legs shudder with a need she hadn't known in so long as hands worked at the buttons of her blouse. "Myka." She said again, her voice a little more assertive than before. Myka stopped and looked into her eyes, confused.
"What's wrong? I thought... I thought you wanted..." Myka started to wrap her arms around herself defensively but Helena quickly stopped her.
"Myka I do. Just, not like this. Not... against a wall." Helena nodded her head in the direction of the bed, and when Myka turned her head to look, the Brit took a step until she could take her hands and claim her lips in a soft but hungry kiss. "I'd like to make love to you Myka. I want to give you the piece of me that I had been keeping to myself all these years. I want to show you that if there were any other way... I don't want to leave you Myka; you must believe that." As Myka nodded, bottom lip caught between her teeth, she backed up slowly, pulling Helena along, somehow shedding her pants as they stumbled back, until she could feel the edge of the bed behind her now bare knees. She smiled as she let the older woman guide her down gently.
Myka knew that Helena could see her chest heaving as something more than lust overtook her very being. Love. It was love and Myka wanted it so much, so much that she couldn't help the groan that vibrated through her entire body as Helena's hands brushed up against her calves and thighs.
"So beautiful." Helena whispered, knowing that Myka had not been intimate with anyone yet. She would spend what time they had together, giving her everything she deserved. She wanted to pour her very soul into making love to Myka; the soul that this very woman had saved by stumbling into her home and into her heart. "I love you." Helena's lips trailed up Myka's calves as she stayed knelt in front of the younger woman. The words had already been said, so many times and yet they carried such a weight on this night that both women were left breathless by the depth they had reached to say the words over and over; not only in their minds and hearts, but out loud for each other to hear.
Myka squirmed at the sensation. Helena's hands following the patterns her lips had drawn so clearly. Nails were scraping against soft, untouched skin summoning goose bumps that would remain at the surface until dawn approached. "I love you." Myka felt her breath catch as teeth teased her skin; skin that was now bruising beneath the forceful trail of bite marks. They didn't hurt her, she noticed; Helena was actually being quite gentle while marking her. Each nip was graciously followed by a kiss, a trailing tongue, a resting cheek while hands continued their play up until they reached undergarments.
Helena tugged so gently that Myka could barely feel it, but her body somehow knew what was happening even though her mind was foggy. Her hips canted upward to allow Helena to slip the underwear past her hips and down her long legs. Myka heard the older woman's breath hitch. "Is everything okay Helena?" Myka propped herself up on her elbows.
"Wonderful my love." Helena shed her own pants and top, climbing to hover over Myka's body. "You are without a doubt; the most beautiful, wonderful, majestic being I've ever met Myka." Helena placed kisses across Myka's shoulders and chest with each word she used to describe the younger woman. She managed to push Myka's top open, straddling the woman's hips as she sat up and took her own off, throwing it unceremoniously across the room. When she dipped down once more to kiss Myka's now exposed chest she heard the younger woman's breath hitch. Helena was used to the cold metal and glass vial that hung around her neck. It was weightless from the countless years wearing it, no longer cold to the touch; but Myka was not. As Helena lowered against Myka's body, the vial pressed against her chest and served to remind Myka that she couldn't have this life.
"Helena?" Myka whispered, she didn't want to ruin the moment but felt herself ready to burst into tears at the thought of being so close to the water of life and yet so very far from it.
"Yes my love?"
"Could you..." Myka pointed at the chain around Helena's neck. "I know you don't like taking it off but... if you could for tonight. Please."
Helena understood. She sat up and carefully freed herself from the chain and liquid once so heavy with purpose and meaning, only to be sitting on a chest that carried an even heavier heart. She set it in the drawer next to the bed and looked at her love before her. "Is that better darling?"
Myka nodded. "Thank you."
And now it was their moment.
Helena finally allowed herself to be completely pressed against the younger woman. Her forehead resting against Myka's as they kissed. They were connected from head to toe, legs tangled together; but even that connection couldn't compare to that of their hearts and souls. Helena's thigh sliped between Myka's legs as Myka's did the same and both women smiled as they felt each others arousal, want and need across their thighs.
Helena returned to lavishing Myka's chest, her throat, anything that she could reach. She let her hands move over the sides of Myka's body and up to cup the wonderful curves of her breasts. Myka's breathing became heavy against the top of Helena's head as her hands wound up tangled in her hair. She didn't realize she had been pulling Helena closer; impossibly closer in fact, but Helena didn't care. She loved that Myka wanted her so much, just as much as she wanted Myka. They were that way for a while; Helena just giving every inch of Myka's chest, shoulders, neck and jaw some of the love she had in her heart, her hands now growing bolder as she brushed her thumbs over hardened peaks. Myka arched against the Brit, wanting more.
"Please." Myka whispered, her eyes closed lightly but brows furrowing as she fought for more, something more to say or do other than please and holding onto Helena's hair. She wanted to take Helena into herself, keep her there for an eternity.
Helena started to move lower, feeling Myka's grip on her hair loosen a bit. She smiled as she kissed, licked and nipped her way down Myka's stomach. She could feel the muscles tensing beneath her lips, her grin widening as she got closer to the place she longed to be. She could sense Myka's arousal, the taste of her skin changing, the lower she got.
"Myka is it..." Helena looked at the woman before her as those hazel eyes met hers. They were so beautiful, that they left the older woman breathless.
"Yes... please." Myka whispered. If she had tried to speak louder, there's no telling what would have come out of her mouth. Surely the sound would not have been human, it may have been a cry, a plea. That sound could have ended everything right there. She was so desperate to have this part of Helena, longing to feel her in this way.
Helena's fingertips were dancing along Myka's sensitive thighs; outside, inside, bottom to top until they reached Myka's center, dripping with arousal. Helena grinned widely, appreciating this gift that Myka was giving her. She trailed an index finger lightly along the length of her watching her twitch beneath the gentle caress.
Myka's eyes rolled back briefly but she didn't want to miss a moment as she forced them open to look at the woman resting between her legs, smiling up at her. Helena didn't break eye contact as she slipped the wet diget into her mouth, her dark eyes lighting up at the taste of Myka on her tongue. As soon as she allowed herself to have Myka, she felt the need to have her turn overwhelming, her entire body buzzing and her head spinning.
"Helena, please... please." Myka let her head fall back on the pillow as her own hands moved up her body, one stopping at her chest and the other moving to the side to grip the sheets as Helena lowered her head to Myka's core. "Oh..." Myka quickly threw a pillow over hear head, moaning into it. Everyone was downstairs, but sound seemed to travel in this warehouse. Helena just chuckled lightly as her tongue continue to dance circles around Myka's sensitive bud.
The older woman could live with this taste for the rest of eternity, and she would. This was something she could never forget. She kissed and bit at Myka's thigh as her fingers swiped her core from top to opening and she slowly moved, pushing her fingers in carefuly. She could feel Myka adjusting, her muscles tensing and relaxing around her fingers, at some points almost pushing her fingers out. As soon as Myka was okay, Helena returned her lips to the woman's clit, kissing and caressing it with her lips and tongue. She left her fingers still for a little while, just letting Myka get used to having them there.
"Are you okay?" Helena whispered, her eyes heavy with arousal. She could barely raise them to look at the woman she was talking to.
Myka smiled and nodded, reaching her hand down to brush Helena's hair back.
Helena felt Myka's hand like something from another world, grounding her to life. She felt alive as Myka pulled at her hair to bring her lips back to her center.
Myka arched off the bed, practically levitating as she felt the waves of orgasm creeping up on her. Helena's fingers started to move inside her, pushing deeper, but still very cautious and gentle. Helena was being so kind, even when Myka's walls greedily pulled her in for more and held her there. When that happened, the older woman knew that Myka was close. She curled her fingers, her lips closed around the hardened bud and she licked and sucked and teased until Myka came against her fingers and lips with a scream and cries muffled by the pillow she held clenched between her teeth.
Helena waited patiently for Myka's body to stop convulsing. She left her fingers inside, feeling the gentle beat and pulsing that she created. As soon as she felt the grip on her fingers loosen, she wiggled them slightly, giggling at how Myka's muscles twitched and the moans that came out of the woman's mouth. She quickly climbed up the bed to rest at Myka's side, playing with her curls as the young woman slowly opened her eyes, a broad smile appearing on her beautiful face. Helena took a mental picture. This was how she needed to remember the love of her life. She kissed Myka's cheek and then her lips. She felt Myka tense slightly then relax at tasting herself on her lovers lips.
"I love you so much Helena." Myka leaned her forehead against Helena's and pulled her close. "So so much."
"I love you the same darling. Always. Now get some rest."
"But... what about you?"
"It's okay my love. I'm wonderful and very satisfied..."
"But I want to. I love you and I want to show you." Myka quickly rolled over and settled herself on Helena's body.
She worked her way around Helena's body like a pro, touching and kissing every spot that made the Brit weak at the knees. She tasted her skin, she caressed every inch of her, memorizing her. If Myka had to watch her leave, she wanted to make sure she had a memory stronger than that. She mapped Helena's body, she marked it as a reminder for the older woman of where she had been.
As soon as she reached Helena's center, her breathing stopped. This was it and she had no idea...
"Darling it's okay. Just do what you feel comfortable doing."
Myka wasn't uncomfortable, just unsure. When she looked into Helena's deep brown eyes she could see the love and support. Something inside just snapped into place and she surged forward without warning, pulling a loud yelp from the Brit. Her lips made contact with the heated center and her tongue darted out to taste. She moved slowly, getting used to the feeling of being between someones legs like this, to be giving as much as she could to the person she loved so much. She could feel Helena rolling against her lips, fingers in her curls, scratching her scalp and pulling her closer. She wanted this moment to last forever but it didn't; and Myka could care less as Helena crashed over the edge; convulsing, her stomach muscles clenching tight, her eyes shut and mouth open as she whimpered and moaned, free hand practically ripping the bedsheet as she writhed in pleasure beneath Myka's kisses and touches.
"Yes." Helena whispered as her orgasm ended. "Yes yes yes..." She tugged at Myka's hair a little and guided her up to rest above her.
"Was that... okay?" Myka was blushing and Helena found it to be the cutest thing she had ever seen.
"Darling." Helena pulled Myka in by the sides of her face and kissed her so hard she couldn't breathe. "That was wonderful."
"Can we do it again?"
"Perhaps in a minute. I just need a little rest." Helena laughed, her laughter filling the room in a way that made both women forget the inevitable parting that was to come in the morning.
They spent hours pleasing each other, loving each other and making promises that neither were sure they could actually keep.
The two didn't stop until they were too tired to keep going and even then, soft and reassuring touches were exchanged throughout the night and early morning. Myka hummed a lullaby out of nowhere that surprised Helena but pleased her at the same time. If this was living, Helena could finally see herself enjoying being alive.
...
Helena's eyes opened. She felt happier then she had been in the past hundred years. She felt satisfied and full, loved. Then she remembered where she was and why she felt the way she felt. The only reason the previous night happened was because she needed to go, but not without showing Myka how much she loved her.
As her eyes adjusted to the light, her mind drifting to the woman beside her; her eyes followed, taking in the body next to her. When she reached Myka's face, she gasped. "Why are you up so early?"
"I never fell asleep."
"What!? Myka, why not?"
"How was I supposed to fall asleep knowing that when I woke up you might not be here!?"
Helena sat up, holding the blanket to her chest as she took Myka's hand in the one she wasn't using. "Darling, I wouldn't just up and leave you like that. I love you so much..."
"Then don't go." Myka kept her gaze straight ahead. If she looked at Helena, everything she was feeling would burst out of her in waves. She was sure she would drown in her tears if that were to happen.
"Please Myka. You know I have to leave. They'll find me if I stay here. They'll throw me in prison for the rest of my life and when they realize I'm not aging or dying... then what?" Helena pulled Myka to rest against her. "Darling, I love you so much that my heart aches for you, and it always will. I'll be back, I promise."
"What... in a hundred years? I won't drink the water unless you tell me that you want me to and I know you don't want me to. So depending on your choice, you could be coming back to a corpse." Myka felt hollow... sad and alone.
Helena didn't know what to say. She wanted so desperately for Myka to wait for her to return, but Myka deserved a chance at life. "I do want you to Myka; believe me I do. But... I will leave that decision up to you. Just know that I believe in you... in this world. I've seen many things in my life Myka, I've seen so much good, but I've mostly seen bad. I know that you can make a difference. You can change things. I promise I'll return no matter what."
"It's not fair." Myka knew Helena could feel her tears, hot against her bare shoulder. "I just found you. I finally know where I belong and now..."
"Shhh. I know. I feel the same way my love. Please; I want you to try for me. Live your life."
Myka nodded, choking back her tears as she clutched to Helena. "I promise I'll try."
"We have a little longer together." Helena said as the sun started to rise. They curled against each other, holding each other and feeling the other in ways that no one else ever could. It was intimate, lovely and perfect. But all things; even perfect things, must come to an end eventually.
...
Everyone at the warehouse was so used to seeing HG off on one of her adventures. It was just the way things happened. Claudia hugged her tight, Pete and Steve did the same. Leena almost didn't let go, whispering into HG's ear to stay safe and return to them; especially to Myka. Helena just nodded. Then she walked over to Myka and kissed her in a way that said 'don't forget me, don't forget how much I love you and I will come back.' Myka returned the kiss with the same sentiment. "I love you Myka."
"I love you. I'll love you forever." Myka whispered against Helena's lips. She could taste the salty tears that lingered there, but from who's eyes they fell, she would never really know.
Then Helena turned and walked away.
Helena was used to leaving. She left over and over again; this part of her life as a nomad, traveling the world only to come back to this place was one that had always left a bitter sweet taste in her mouth. Who knew that after well over a hundred years of life, or this state of being; always going away... who knew that saying goodbye could ever be so hard.
God! This was harder than hard to write. I hit my head on my desk, laptop, notebook... anything in sight a lot. It was just... wow. Anyway, probably one or two more chapters. If you want to review and comment that would be great! :) Also I wanted to know if you're up for an angsty sad ending or if you want happy fluffy endless wonder ending. haha... that sounds weird. Let me know!
Thank you guys for reading this. I appreciate it more than you'll ever know. Love you all. xoxo