Cheese. Cheese. Cheese. I need something else to read now! I'm going to die! Okay, maybe not. Anyways, this is a bit of an understatement on how someone would react -in modern times- if they were forced to marry someone. Still, I put a little bit of me in Max so I think it will be okay.

Iggy: Can I have a friend please?

Me: I will steal the awesome Prussia to entertain you.

Iggy: NOT THAT GUY! He bothers me.

Me: Okay! Just because you insisted…DENMARK'S COMING AS WELL!

Iggy: WHAT?!

Me: Just say the disclaimer and sulk later.

Iggy: Okay. Gingey doesn't own jack crap applesauce other than the way to make my life a living hell.

Me: It's not as bad as the school.

Iggy: You're right…it's worse. Help. Me. Now!

Max POV

"I'm sorry, what?" I said, my mouth hanging open. Did I just hear them right? Were my ears clogged with earwax so that the words didn't comprehend with my mind? They were kidding right, some cruel joke that they thought would really get everyone off on a good laugh.

"You're getting married to my son, Nicholas." Doctor Ride said smoothly, as if he had practiced this line again and again in front of a mirror. I glanced at Nicholas to see if he was part of the joke, but he looked just as shocked as me, his jaw was swinging open and his eyes were as wide as dinner plates. Ella's and Nudge's conversation stopped as well and they had turned to see what was going on.

"Umm…is this some sort of cruel joke that you're all in on? If so, 'fess up, it's not funny." I said sincerely, crossing my arms over my chest.

Even though I tried to act cool about this all-as if the thought didn't bother me, just the context- it took all my willpower to keep the urgent hysteria from my voice. I hate jokes, no matter how 'practical' they are. In Shattuck/Saint Mary's, there is a wall that lists the dead people who used to go to the school. Some poo-for-brains thought it would be funny to write my name up there in black paint. I spent a week freaking out and questioning if I was dead or still alive.

"Sorry Max," My mom interrupted my thoughts, "this is the truth."

"No." I said firmly. "Marriage is supposed to be a sacred thing, something you do with someone you love. It's not the seventeenth century anymore. Plus, I barely know this guy. For all I'm aware of, he could be a mass murderer and keep dead children in his closet." I glanced over at Nicholas, who was still gaping at his family. Even though I highly doubt this kid actually had dead bodies in his closet, I could not be forced to marry him. Hell, I barely knew his name.

"Well, Max, it's like a business proposal," my dad sat up in his seat, his hand clutching an imaginary basketball which indicated he was about to explain something. "See, when you get into whatever line of work you choose to go into, you're going to have to make some choices. Nicholas's father and I are creating a business proposal, you two are both headed into great lines of work and life and it would be good for the family if you did marry him." He said it as if that made perfect sense. I only got one thing out of it. I was nothing more than a proposal, a silly play thing for this big bad company.

"So what. I'm- we're nothing more than play things that your big bad company can toss around, making whatever bargain or preposition about us that you want. Are you kidding me?" I shrieked. Maybe I was getting a little overwhelmed, then again, maybe the moon was made of Swiss cheese.

"Maximum, calm down." My mother said sternly. I immediately shut up. When my mother uses my real name, I know that she means business.

"Nicholas…stay quiet." Doctor Ride said, as if he was trying to be helpful. Way to go Doctor! Really contributed to this conversation!

"Listen, we've already decided, it's not much of your choice. It will bind the company and help with profits, fundings, sales, whatever! It's very important to us and therefore it is important to you." My dad said sternly, his voice never loosing it's even tone. God how he infuriated me when he tried to make things seem totally reasonable and logical when really they were the stupidest things ever.

"H-how…w-what…what the hell?!" I yelled at him. "How does that make any sense at all! I hate it when you try to sound so logical, like everything you say is 'effing law. Well it's not, okay? This is literally the stupidest thing you've ever done."

"Maximum…Max…how about you and Nicholas go down into the basement and get to know each other." Amelia said, glancing at me in an exasperated way, as if this was stressing her out more than me. She then threw a pleading glance at my mother, who gave me a pinged look.

"How about n-" I started before being cut off by Nicholas sliding his chair back on the wooden floor.

"Come'on." He growled, an angry scowl on his face. I had to admit, he looked scary. Definitely not someone you wanted to meet in a dark alleyway in the middle of the night. I let out an annoyed huff before unwillingly following him, making a show out of clomping my boots and flinging my hair around. Throwing a Max-styled temper tantrum just like I always do when I get too annoyed.

It usually takes me two hours to calm down, and then about a week until I decide to stop ignoring whoever bothered me. It's going to take a good solid month for me to forgive my parents. Following Nicholas out the door, he led me down a hallway and took a sharp turn to the left before he clomped down the stairs in front of me. As soon as we had reached the bottom, Nicholas leaned up against an air hockey table they had down there and threw his head back, closing his eyes as he did so. I began to pace, as I always do if I'm stressed or nervous. And pace I did.

Their basement was huge, about the size of an average backyard, but I kept to seven paces forward and seven paces back. That was the length of my dorm I had back in Shattuck. I quickly became more and more stressed as I mulled this whole thing over in my head and grabbed a lock of my hair to stick in my mouth. It was an annoying habit I had as a kid. Luckily it was that that stuck around and not giving myself hickeys on the arm.

"It's Fang." A voice sounded from by the air hockey table. I threw a look at Nicholas but he was too entranced in his shoes to notice.

"I'm sorry, what?" I asked after a moment considering I had absolutely no idea what he was talking about.

"My name. It's Fang." He said, grinding his teeth together impatiently, as if he couldn't believe I didn't know this fact as soon as he mentioned fangs.

"I'm ninety-eight percent sure it's Nicholas though." I said in a know-it-all tone of voice just like I always used when I knew a fact.

"Fang is a nickname." He answered, closing his eyes back up and leaning his head back.

"What sort of nickname is that?"

"It's mine."

Once again it became quiet, like when we got down here, and I began pacing again. Pacing and chewing nervously on a lock of my hair, soaking up the little strands of hair and probably making them smell like the garlic soup which Amelia had served.

"Is that a good book?" He asked.

"Hmm?"

"Is. That. A. Good. Book?" I glanced down at Dracula without really seeing it.

"Yeah, I guess. I've read better though."

"Mmm."

That's how the rest of our 'conversations' went.

Nicholas/Fang: So you went to a boarding school?

Me: Yeah, down in Minnesota

Nicholas/Fang: Cool

-Awkward Silence-

Me: You went to school here?

Nicholas/Fang: Yeah.

Me: Cool.

-Awkward Silence-

Really basic questions that gave me little to no information about my future husband. God, that makes me sound like I'm forty or something. I heard thunks and clicks coming down the stairs and twisted around to see my family and Nicholas's family looking over the two of us, Nicholas leaning relaxed against the air hockey table as I was caught in half pace, a strand of my hair suspended momentarily in my mouth. Ella and Nudge were standing at the top of the stairs, snickering and whispering to each other.

"Listen, we talked," Amelia started and I interrupted her with a rude snort. You may have talked but not with us. "and we've decided that Max should attend your school for your last day since she doesn't have to go to hers anymore." I snorted again, knowing that she was talking directly to Nicholas, acting as if I wasn't there, maybe I was making her too uncomfortable. Good.

"Yes, we think it would be wise if Max got to know some of Nicholas's friends. Maybe one day we could invite some of Max's over here." My mom said politely, even though it was obvious she was nervous by her impatient hand wringing.

"Yeah, 'cause I'm sure they'd fly all the way from Italy to meet Nicholas here. It would be they're only wish, they'd dream about it for centuries afterwards." I replied sarcastically.

"Maximum Martinez, that is not how you talk to your mother." My dad said sternly. I simply rolled my eyes. Why not act like this is a huge joke? It's easier than actually taking it seriously.

"Why don't you two go up to Nicholas's room while the grown ups talk down here?" Doctor Ride said, a look of -obviously fake- concern on his face.

"Well, I'm pretty sure we're considered 'grown ups' considering that we're being forced to get married." I mumbled under my breathe. Nicholas must have heard it considering he snorted and let out a quiet chuckle.

"Why can't you talk in the kitchen?" Nicholas suddenly piped up. He looked pointedly at his father.

"It's been invaded by both of you're younger sisters." Amelia said, a small smile gracing her face. I glared at the two said sisters that were still standing at the top of the stairs snickering.

"Fine." Nicholas said sullenly before shoving his hands in his pockets and walking back up the stairs, parting the crowd of grown ups and the two sisters. I rolled my eyes, gave an exasperated huff, and followed him, making sure to step on my sister's toes. I followed him down another hallway, up another flight of stairs, and down yet another hallway before we reached his room. I don't exactly know what our parents expected us to do, go into an intense make-out session? With a guy I barely knew? Yeah right.

His room was pitch black, black everything. Black walls, black floor, black bookshelf, black closet, black bed, black desk…must I go on?

"I can tell you have a…fetish for the color black." I said, looking around the room.

"Yeah, I guess." Nicholas said before sitting down in his -black- chair at his -black- desk in front of his laptop, which wasn't black.

"What are you doing?" I asked, walking behind him to peek over his shoulder. He had Microsoft Word opened up and was staring at the page furiously.

"Writing a paper." He said between his teeth.

"Why?"

"It's for school."

"'The Eight Parts Of Speech And How They Have Helped Me, By: Nicholas Ride'. You haven't even started?"

"Well they haven't."

"Haven't what?"

"Haven't helped me."

"Dude, I did this in seventh grade. It's simple." I say, straightening out my back and tapping my toe. "Do you have a word limit?"

"No."

"Then it's easy. Nouns are people, places, things, or ideas. You know, you're a noun, I'm a noun, this lamp is noun. Etcetera, etcetera. Verbs show action or mental actions. Think, run, burp. Whatever. Don't mention auxiliary or linking, those are just retarded. Pronouns are like baby nouns. She, he, it, they. Adjectives are the first sort of describers, they describe nouns, pronouns, or other adjectives. Adverbs are the second sort of describers. They describe verbs, adjectives, or other adverbs. Prepositions show position. Conjunctions join nouns, phrases, or clauses. Interjections aren't really needed but they add expression to the voice or writing. A comma shows mild emotion, an exclamation point shows strong emotion."

"I didn't catch any of that." Nicholas said, his mouth hanging open slightly and his face contorted in a 'what' face.

"Scoot over." I grumbled, sitting in the seat I had just kicked him out of.

"I'm pretty sure this is my essay." He grumbled but didn't kick me back out of the seat as I began his essay. After a moment of silence Nick began to speak again.

"Didn't you just give their definitions?"

"And the dead one speaks!" I said, Nick simply glared at me. He needs glaring lessons. "Yeah, but they tie into how they help you, you'll see."

He grunted and continued to read what I was typing over my shoulder.

"There!" I exclaimed after a moment more of typing, "Finished and ready for grading. I expect my A plus in the morning."

"You mean my A plus."

"Well you didn't write it did you?"

"No, but it's going on my grade."

"Whatever." I began tapping my toe impatiently. "So, what's your school like?"

"Ehh."

"Just 'ehh'? You aren't in any clubs? AP classes? Have any friends?"

"No, no, and yes."

"And those friends would be…"

"Dude named Iggy, my sister, two girls who look like twins but aren't related, and another dude name Kyle."

"Iggy?"

"Some chic named him that a while ago."

"Okie-doki." I agreed awkwardly. I personally hated being in the same room as this guy. The silence was awkward and tense enough to cut with a butter knife. I felt like if I made one wrong move he'd end up 'accidentally' snapping my head off. How that could be an accident, I'm really not sure.

"How about we go downstairs? I don't hear any talking." I said after a moment more of the stifling awkwardness.

"Sure." We clomped out of his room and down just one flight of stairs to reach the main floor where it seemed my family was just departing.

"Oh great, Max, you're here! We were just going to call you down, I hope you and Nicholas had some time to get to know each other better." Amelia said all too cheerily. Nudge and Ella set off on an infuriating amount of giggles at the last comment, making me grind my teeth and hold in all my will power so as not to punch them both in their faces.

"Not really." I mumbled under my breathe so that only I could hear it.

"Nicholas will pick you up at seven tomorrow to take you to his school." Amelia continued.

"I'm a big girl, I can take myself." I said smoothly. That was a lie, unlike some rich kids -*cough* Nicholas *cough*- I did not have a car just yet.

"Do you know where the high school is?" Doctor Ride asked, trying to find a loophole in my loophole that led him back on the original path.

"Of course, my little sister goes there. I can just take the bus with her." I said slowly, as if explaining to a kindergartener before yelling out at Ella: "Sister! I will need some bus pants!"

"O-okay then. Well, I guess you'll meet up tomorrow at the school then?" Amelia asked.

"Yeah, yeah." I muttered before walking our with my family.

"Great meeting you all!" Doctor Ride called out after us.

"See you tomorrow at school Maxie!" Nudge sang out. I had to hold my hand down on my leg so I wouldn't end up flipping her the bird.

Oh well!

Hmm…could have been a lot better. OH FNICKING WELL! Anyways…I sort of based the manner of Max taking this whole thing off of me. I have a tendency to get too sarcastic when I'm A) Mad B) Scared or C) Stressed. Either that or I start to cry. I know this is such a cheesy plot but it will all make sense in time. Maybe. God, I'll regret posting this for the public eye later on. Until then, you can read it and judge me. I see you, yeah you, judging the weird girl that spent like a week writing this. And spent the other time that you were -or maybe not- forced to wait just reading! I need another book suggestion please! Kerr-sigh! What song is this? I mean, I know but maybe you don't.

God knows what is hiding in those weak and drunken hearts

Guess he kissed the girls and made them cry

Those hard-faced queens of misadventure

God knows what is hiding in those weak and sunken lives

Fiery throngs of muted angels

Giving love but getting nothing back, oh

I would have posted more of it but then it reaches the chorus. That would take away the whole point of the game! Anyways, thanks for reading! The review button is somewhere and it only takes about a minute to type something in. The favorite and follow button are somewhere as well and only take a millisecond to click! Click, CLick, CLICK!