Maybe We're Wrong and the World is Right
It was difficult for Kate to not dissolve into nothingness when she surrendered herself to thoughts of Caroline's electric blue gaze that sent such terrifyingly exhilarating bursts of energy through Kate that would rival Tesla's own imaginings. Of the hint of chocolate in the orange blossom potion she scented her neck and shoulders with that made Kate feel like she was barely clinging to the tallest of trees. The notes of violet and cream Kate detected in Caroline's voice whenever she heard her call out her name and the orchestral movements it roused in her regions of desire. The way Caroline turned the words on pages of books into succulent feasts of opulent fortification. The feeling of being spun like silk derived from every touch of Caroline's purposeful fingertips. The luminous state of ecstasy when they were alone together tangled within the sheets, gliding blindly through the dark secret of night until they'd reached the dew of morning…
The sudden shift of light from a marauding band of clouds streaking across a setting sun produced a shaft of light that woke Kate from her reverie…
Vividly recalling the afternoon in Caroline's kitchen with John and Celia when she'd found herself gleefully sifting through possible names for babies, her slip of the tongue nearly divulging she and Caroline's parenting plans and Celia's befuddlement and subsequent confident proclamation that Caroline was too old and "she'd not want to go through all of that again at her age!" No…Kate thought…it was best to just get on with it, with life without Caroline. There was no more need of weighing out the uncertainty and variability of plausible outcomes.
Sufficiently sated for the time being, Kate cleared the tiny, rustic table tucked in the corner of her kitchen and then gave the simmering pot of soup a gentle stir allowing the aromatic fusion at play underneath the clay lid to fill her senses. She drifted off into the sitting room and gingerly lowered herself into the cushioned chair that faced the panoramic window…nimbly strumming the plumpening lump of her belly as she basked in a spectacular twilight.
Try as she might, Kate was defenseless in ridding herself of thoughts easily leading always back to Caroline. As she supped on soup and toasted bread her head filled with the events of her day, most specifically of the events that had occurred earlier in Caroline's office.
The four walls of Caroline's office seemed to gather from the hinterlands to lay siege upon Kate's logical strategy…unmercifully pushing up against her hopelessness and helplessness… knowing full well that she'd wanted nothing more than the thrill of delivering the happy news to Caroline that, amazingly, she was twelve weeks into carrying their child. For her, it was a thrill of a lifetime, but obviously, for Caroline, it was simply logistics. The way Caroline reacted to her news… blunt and dismissive, as if butter wouldn't melt in her mouth only squared Kate's resolve that their relationship would always be a tedious and endless game of Go, Fetch! Although, she hadn't really thought out what she'd hoped Caroline to say or do, the acquiescent, "Congratulations." Caroline uttered as Kate moved to leave her office didn't lessen Kate's contentions. So, she had finished what she'd gone into that room to do and would leave it at that…
Only as she was making her way to bed did she realize the tune that she'd been humming in her head all day was Everything But the Girl's self-assuring vow …
You see… I always was your girl… always will be… you and me against the world …