Community Service
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The precinct was not a place for children. John has said it over and over again, and yet here they were, prepping the space for an Easter egg hunt that was also a charity drive. In a few short hours, this whole place would be swelling with parents and kids making a lot of noise, leaving smudgy handprints on the glass, and dropping candy wrappers and Band-Aid wrappers and god knows what else all over the place.
There was a bustle of detectives, officers, staffers, and volunteers hanging up decorations, putting out snacks, and clearing up loose papers and clutter. Everyone was working away in preparation for the celebration and making sure things were perfect.
Detective Paul was helping a team of MXs scatter eggs in the courtyard, which had been recently landscaped for the occasion. The whine of a helium tank could be heard intermittently as Dorian filled balloons. Valerie was making little gift bags for the kids and was currently searching frantically for a lost bag of jelly beans. Everyone was pitching in today.
In the midst of it all, John Kennex was tilted back in his chair, booted feet up on the desk, absolutely cramming a sugar doughnut into his mouth. He had Valerie's bag of jelly beans hidden in the desk drawer, out of sight but just within reach.
"This would go faster if you'd help me by tying the ribbon on these balloons, John," Dorian suggested.
John took another slow bite of doughnut and stretched until he could reach his coffee cup. "Rather be dead." He gave his partner a quick side-smile.
"Kennex!" The captain's voice nearly toppled him. He loved Sandra Maldonado but she only had two volumes and lately, when it came to him, she only used the highest one. The short but fierce woman approached him with arms akimbo, examining his lazy pose and the sugar mess on his chest. "Since you can't find something to do out here, I have a job for you." She crooked a finger.
John swallowed his last bite of doughnut like a lump in his throat and reluctantly peeled out of the chair. He followed Sandy down the corridor, a growing sense of unease in the pit of his stomach.
When she opened a dark closet and shoved him in, turning on the light, the hideous, fluffy, pink and white bunny outfit hanging there nearly scared him out of his skin.
"No fucking way," he said, backing up and nearly tripping.
"You're the perfect size." She grinned, but gave no indication of relenting. "You're gonna put it on, you're gonna hop your ass around, and then you're gonna hold each kid on your lap for a picture."
"No," John said again. "Look I confess, I took the Jelly beans. I'll go to the store and get more. Or, you could arrest me for stealing." He held out his wrists to her, as if accepting cuffs.
"This is a more fitting punishment," she said coolly. "If I see one child crying about something the Easter bunny did or said, you'll be working petty theft cases for the next three months. Exclusively."
John looked like a kicked puppy. He started shaking his head.
"You gonna put it on or do I need to get some MXs down here to make you put it on?"
John picked up the horrible suit reluctantly and Maldonado closed the door.
An hour later, covered in grass stains and children, sweat pouring from his hairline, down the small of his back and past the crack of his ass, John decided he fucking motherfucking hated Easter.