The Diego Diaries: Game Day 4
-0-On the field
He came back in and no one could tell that his face had been flattened by a brick wall of aft. The mechs he had run into were relatively unscathed. He however had to have his face plates removed and reshaped. When the surgeon had finished reattaching them, Smokescreen had jumped down to walk to the door.
"Where are you going, youngling?" the older mech had said with surprise.
"A football game," Smokey had said.
"Well, just sit quietly and watch," the mech said returning to his tray of tools.
"Yeah. Right," Smokescreen had said as he disappeared out the door.
Running onto the field with a nod to Gold Wing, he lined up with the forwards. Gold Wing called a time out and walked to the line looking down at the feisty bot who stared up at him defiantly. "Nice nose."
"Thanks. It's new. Can we go now?" Smokey asked defiantly.
"That's the problem. You had your face mashed. What are you doing here?"
"The doc passed on me. He said I could come here and play," Smokescreen said half lying, half telling the truth.
"Do I page him to find out?" Gold Wing asked leaning into Smokescreen's new old face.
"We have to play. Do you want 210,000 bots sitting here to be mad at you?" the youngster asked.
"There's another 200,000 in the next stadium over," the center said helpfully. "We need to move. Slagging Polyhex is resting up."
Gold Wing stood quietly as he accessed Ratchet. After a moment of commiseration the big Seeker reluctantly passed on the Autobot. "First sign of trouble you are ejected. Got that?"
"Got it," Smokey said nodding.
Gold Wing walked to the sidelines.
Smokescreen walked to the line.
The ball was tossed. The centers grappled over it like two old ladies over a half price handbag at a Macy's sale. They landed on their peds and the push-pull began. Back and forth they struggled, the lines waiting for their opportunity to catch whatever squirted out.
-0-In the stands
"Look at those afts. What do they think this is? A cotillion?"
"WALTZING MATILDA! WALTZING MATILDA! WHO'LL GO A-WALTZiNG MATILDA WITH ME? HEY! MATILDA! GET THE LEAD OUT!"
"Ada? Why are they dancing?" -sweet faced little femmeling youngling.
"Because when two bots love each other ..."
"GET THE SLAGGING LEAD OUT, YOU SLAGGERS!"
"Uh, ada … little audials."
"Oh, sorry, Ratchet."
"No problem." -ginormous grin
-0-In the control booth
"I didn't know that Colie was so light on his peds," Jazz said with a grin.
"I was thinking its about time for the lines to step up and end this snuggle fest," Blaster said.
Mirage chuckled. "Those slaggers. They better get going. Some of us are here for football."
-0-California
"He said 'slag'. Do we drink to that? I can't remember." Man B
"He said 'better'. I drank to that. 'Football' too." -Man C
"Where's Hubert?" -Man B
"He's taking a pee." -Man C
Cut to outside: "Ahhhh." -Man A aka Hubert relieving himself in the front seat of someone's Porsche convertible.
-0-On the field
Smokey jumped high and landed on the pair crashing them to the ground. Both sides joined him and the scrum was on. The ball popped out and wobbled away. Upside down, someone's helm clamped between his rather shapely thighs, Smokescreen saw it go. Flipping away, landing on his peds, he spun and ran for it. So did about ten other guys.
-0-Trenton, New Jersey
"GO, BABY! WHO LOVES YA!?"
"I love him too, Cindy. He's so cute."
"He's mine, Lola. You can have someone else. Maybe he has a twin brother," Cindy said with a wink.
"Trines work for me," Lola said with a grin.
"You read my mind," Cindy said with a chuckle. They both turned back to the screen. "GO, BABY! RUN!" they both said in unison.
-0-On the field
He scooped the ball up and turned madly running for Polyhex's goal. He could feel the bad karma catching up with him from behind. He passed the ball backwards to another player to get them off his aft, then pivoted in the set play to pass in front of the goal. The player who had the ball passed it to him before disappeared under a pile of fists, fury and unfortunate timing.
Smokescreen grabbed it and turned setting up the shot.
He leaped.
He passed.
He slagging scored.
He was buried up to his neck in wingers, grounders and wankers nearly instantly.
He didn't care.
He was famous.
The stadium went nuts.
-0-Broadcast booth
"That was awesome. Smokescreen is a very fast mech. He's also a gambler. He isn't easily scared and his aim was great," Blaster said.
"He's pretty bold," Jazz said nodding. "Mech is always in the thick of things. Slagger."
-0-Cally
"HE SAID IT!"
GLUG!
-0-Trenton, New Jersey
"He's brave, bold, shoots and scores. He's awesome. First dibs."
Lola laughed. "Think threesome, you doofus."
"You want to romance a car with a threesome and you call me doofus," Cindy said with a grin.
"It's easy. You know how I feel about my Honda Element," Lola said smiling.
"If that car transformed it would turn into an old lady with a frying pan." Cindy barely ducked a slap.
-0-In the huddle
"This is fragged."
"This is slagging fragged."
"This is not going well."
"DO YOU THINK?!"
Pause. "Don't yell at me. I don't need this slag."
"Why are you here, Carlo? It can't be for the football."
"The bond thinks its a good idea."
"Turns him on?"
"Yes."
"We're all going to die."
"No. We're going to win this slagging game for Carlo's mech."
"So this is Operation Get Carlo laid?"
Nods all around.
"Hut!"
"**HUT**!"
They walked back to the scrimmage line with a new mission. Carlo on the other servo wanted to crawl under a rock.
-0-In the other huddle
"What are you doing back?"
"I got fixed. Good thing. I just scored. Two to one."
"We were doing just fine without you." -miffedness rising
"Is that so?" -miffed winger with double loaded 38's
"Yes." -Entire team
"Frag. Is this all the thanks I get?" -Miffed winger, 38's etc.
"YES!" Entire team
"SLAGGING HUT!" -entire team
"Frag you." Sulking winger with etc. sulking back to the line.
They lined up. The ball went up. The ball came down. The sound of low flying planes colliding filled the thin atmosphere of the fourth planet from the sun as the two lines collided. Mercurial forces of nature not to be denied weren't. They came with fists and curses, talent and sheer psychotic determination.
It was awesome.
-0-In a nice house
"This is awesome."
"It sure is." Grandma Annie said. "I knew you would come around, Lavinia." She looked over the chair. "Is Sonny okay?"
"He's fine, Annie," Leonard said with a grin. He sat holding a cool cloth against the forehead of his son, Pastor Bob.
It was indeed awesome.
-0-in the stadium
They practiced the wave, the undulating rise and fall of the spectators a sight to see. Ratchet grinned, pleased with the immense degree of mental health he was seeing everywhere he looked.
Except on the field. Those slaggers were crazy.
He smiled and squeezed Ironhide's servo as they waited for the wave to come around again. He was happy. He however did draw the line at the Macarena.
-0-The field, down there
They clashed and smashed. They dashed and trashed. The air was filled with the blows and grunts of huge mechanisms seeking any advantage. They built towers. They tipped over at strategic moments. They built scrums. They clothes-lined mechs when the refs weren't looking.
In short, they played like Altihex and Polyhex always did.
Dirty.
When the dust settled and triage medics ran onto the field to carry away the walking wounded the score was Altihex 2, Polyhex 1.
There would be high times in the old town tonight.
-0-In the stands
"That was slagging awesome," Ratchet said with a grin.
"That was the way I remember those teams playing. I can't wait to see Praxus Science beat them into the ground," Ironhide said.
"From your lips to Primus's audials," Blackjack said carrying Orion. That little bot was grinning like a drunk and trying to get total strangers to kiss his dollie.
"Iacon will thrash them," Alor said with a grin. Kaon grinned too. Grandada grinned. So would he.
"From your lips to Primus's audials," Ratchet said smirking at Ironhide.
"Dream on, Ratchet," Ironhide said as they moved to the stairs that would take them to the gate and the city beyond. "Blur will be back on his peds and we will win."
Ratchet looked at Ironhide and Prowl who was walking behind him with a huge grin. "Cheater."
"Wah," Prowl said with a smirk.
Hilarity ensued.
=0=TBC
2012 (11)