A Pearl in my World-II

She decided on a walk in the cool night air. Desired to conquer the darkness by dividing it, slicing clean through it like an august ship whose sails yawn against a tempest in high moon to stay the course and reach the lighthouse. Make mockery of the gnarl and howl of restlessly cresting waves that had no love to give; undaunted, knowing for certain that she would soon be fed tea and oranges upon the shores of the watchtower.

"He only says those cruel things because I'm weak and he just wants me to be stronger." Carly's words harsh abrasions against Kate's mahogany planks. "I'm of low-breeding and average looks and I should show more gratitude for the courage it takes for him just to be seen with me…to call me his girl!" Kate's keel begins to lose its structural integrity. "He punishes me for my own good Kate, he doesn't want me to suffer the ridicule of his posh friends, he doesn't want me to be an embarrassment, he knows so much more about the world than I could ever begin to imagine!" The latches of her hatches were proving no match for the torrent of why and wherefores. "He loves me Kate, he really does! He just wants to make me perfect for him. I want to be made perfect for him!" The airwaves drowned, Kate fires a distress signal. Hell and high waters!

"No…Carly, listen…that's not how it works…you don't pound square pegs into round holes. You are perfectly imperfect! Jessup's the one that's got it all wrong! He's a gutless, badly educated Neanderthal hiding behind ill-gotten gains and he's only projecting his inadequacies on you because misery only seeks to refine its own reflection!" Her anchor floating like an ornamental charm in a bottomless sea…

"You've always thought that you were so much better than others just because you've read a book or two! Going on about twats like Socrates, Plato and Aristotle! " Carly spat back," Your mother was weak and fell pity to her African servant that did not know his place!" Kate had capsized. They would never speak again.

You were my best friend, never going to see you again…Maureen… you'll never met my new friends…you really were a pearl in my world…

The vibrant winds of the here and now whistled through her ears: "Be fearless Kate, someone of great courage will soon greet you." There was a movement of assurance in her belly, and she raised her head to collect some stars as she strolled back to her cottage, along the way ringing Greg.

"Kate!" Greg being Greg charged right in, "I was just thinking about you!"

"I know, precisely why I rang." She chuckled.

"Did you know that this is the 30th anniversary of Purple Rain?!"

"No? You're joking! Has it really been that long?!" Kate mustered an enthusiastic tone for the nostalgia.

"I instantly thought of you when I heard! You used to blast it through the halls! What was that one you put on repeat…had everyone in a frenzy?"

"Let's Go Crazy"! Kate blushed at the antics she was capable of back in those days… organizing the rallies…the concerts and that epic scavenger hunt resulting in a boon of shiny treasures laid at the feet of the campus square's Alma Matar …the authorities bemused while carting them off in silly handcuffs on grounds of public nuisance...how she discovered her desire for a woman's scent on her lips while being simultaneously devoured by an equally hungry mouth, tongues in tandem, reaching an electrifying finish…

"Kate… you still there," Greg realized that she was in another space of continuum, "where are you?"

"Out for a walk, needed to clear my head with some fresh air...sorry. Can I ring you later?" Suddenly wishing she hadn't rung Greg with the state she was in.

"Has something else happened?" He didn't know Kate to be the type to close off when something was on her mind.

"You could say," still trying to connect space and time. "Just thinking about Carly, remember, I told you about her?"

"How could I ever forget? The massive rally you organized every year in her honor. You issued that brilliant manifesto, can't recall the title exactly". Clearly leafing through the archives of his mind," 'The Pathology in our Patriarchy' was it?"

"Jesus! You remembered that?!" Kate's jaw slacked. "God, I thought the administration would burn me at the stake! So defensive!" Kate clucked.

"You were my hero. I often think that that contributed to the breakdown of my marriage. How Lizzie expected me to control her every move, every thought, rule with an iron fist. I was a constant disappointment by her standards." Realizing his own tangent, he came back to his connection with Kate. "What's made you think of Carly?"

"Caroline came 'round this afternoon, with flowers, to thank me for looking after Lawrence and to ask for another chance…"

"Did she?"

"Uh-hum..." Kate folded her long limbs on the tiny steps of her door, still not ready for the confines of her quiet cottage.

"How does Carly play into this?"

"Caroline would have no idea when she told me the things she'd learned about Gillian, her sister-in-law's life before her husband committed suicide. The abuse she endured."

"I see, but why would she tell you all of this?"

"I think she told me because she needed to tell someone. She was in shock. Who wouldn't be?"

"No, of course…I recall it taking me days to absorb the shock of Carly's story. So, how did you leave things?"

"I couldn't bring myself around, again, to hoping that Caroline was actually capable of embracing the idea of being a partner, a parent, a grown up with me. What I realized was that the illustrious Dr. Caroline Elliot makes a commendable effort in showing that she's on top of things, when nothing could be further from the truth."

"It sounds like she needs you, Kate." He'd met Caroline only the one time and he'd never felt so inadequate, something he had never thought he'd feel with anything to do with Kate, but he genuinely believed that Kate could conquer all, and the fall was inevitable when she determined her heart.

"Yeah, well, there's someone that needs me more." She pulled herself up off the steps and headed through the door.

"Will you have dinner with me on Saturday? There's someone I'd like you to meet." He asked in conclusion.

"You're not playing at match-maker are you?" Kate picked at pieces of a cold roast she had retrieved from the fridge.

"Absolutely not McKenzie!" he defended, "I'm quite taken with her, she works as a translator, and we met on my trip to The Hague."

"Smitten, are we?" Kate teased with glee. "Saturday it is then. Night Greg…and thanks, thanks a lot!"

"Anytime Kate, rest up."

*Thanks to all that continue to read and encourage my exploration of Kate McKenzie.*