It's been two weeks now since school started, Emma was starting to lose hope, and it was beginning to drag her down.

"You don't look so good." admitted Manny, sitting down next to her.

Emma snapped out of it and took a deep breath, "Just this test coming up is all." she lied.

Manny gave her a knowing look but shrugged it off, "Can you let your mom know I'll be home after cheerleading practice?"

Manny had been living with them now, and it was going great. They were like sisters!

"Just let Snake know, I also have environmental club meeting after school." she smiled a little.

Meanwhile in 12th grade..

"I can't believe she just left." Craig stared numbly at the computer

He was talking to Jimmy but next to him, Ellie muttered, "Yeah, I know how you feel."

Craig eyed her and angered, "How would you know?" he snapped. Ashley was gone, sent him a goodbye letter and everything, "She was only your friend, me and her. .we-we were in love!"

"Love smhove." Ellie snickered bitterly and stood up, grabbing her jacket, "Also, I do know what it feels like for your 'love' to just pick up and leave." she snapped and shoved by him.

"Jerk!"

Craig winced a bit then blinked, looking to Jimmy who cringed, "Sean's been M.i.a, dude. Low." he told Craig.

Craig's mouth dropped, "Well I didn't know" he hissed then saddened, and looked back to his 'goodbye' letter from Ashley.

Ellie was right, love smhove, it was all a load of crock!

AFTER SCHOOL...

"Seriously so good to have you back, Em." Liberty told Emma, walking out of the club meeting, "It was hard juggling that, my mathematics and.." she drifted off.

"And what?" Emma asked, eyeing her wierdly and noticing Liberty Van Zandt choked on words.

Liberty watched people pass them and the halls started to clear and whispered, "Me and J.t..had an accident." she pierced her lips together.

Emma was confused, til her eyes widened, "You're not.." no, Liberty was too smart for that.

"I wouldn't of been if J.T didn't insist he could wear the extra large condom." sneered Liberty to then shake her head, "But it's too late to think of what ifs... it's happening, its.." she tapped her stomach, "in there."

Emma stared in horror. Was she the only one avoiding the drama these days?! I mean, go her, but geez. Liberty was Pregnent?!

"Does everyone know?" Emma asked.

"Just the usual victims." joked Liberty lightly, "Toby, Manny, my brother, now you."

"Lib.." she was choked up as well, not knowing what to say but she insisted, "You'll be fine, it's you we're talking about here." she smiled gently.

Liberty gave her a not so sure look but smiled a bit back, "Later Emma." she said, and turned, needing to go be alone.

Emmas eyes were still wide, turning down the empty hallway, shocked beyond belief still.

She shook her head, trying to snap out of it and when she turned the corner, she stopped when she saw Marco and Ellie talking.

"Just talk to Mrs Suave." Marco told her.

"I can't, Marco." Ellie was crying, "She'll think I'm at risk again and it's not like that. I just have this horrible feeling he's not coming back. He's left me, Marco. A-and Ash is gone too.."

"Sean will call and Ash will too, you KNOW that."

Emma's eyes widened and her heart stopped. So Sean was gone? Oh god, he was gone. She numbly turned, and stopped in her tracks hard.

"Emma!"

Oh my god. They saw her. She turned. Oh crap, Ellie Nash was storming right up to her. She looked around panicked until Ellie spoke up.

"h-have you heard from or about Sean lately?" she asked.

Emma's mouth hung

Ellie closed her eyes, "It was a stupid question," yet she still looked at her with hope, "But have you?"

Emma shook her head no, "Sorry, Ellie...no." this was probably the only time Ellie had directly looked at her and spoke to her.

Ellie squinted her eyes at Emma, not believing her but then she sighed, she was probably just pushing her problems onto Emma.

Course she hadn't seen him, the two haven't talked since they broke up right?

"Oh Marco" Ellie began to cry again as the boy walked up from behind and hugged her.

Emma looked at him and Marco passed her a look and smiled weakly. Emma just numbly turned and walked back the way she came.

He couldn't be gone.

he couldn't.

Emma turned the corner, bumping hard into somebody and she looked forward, her heart fluttering like mad. Her first love, her first first, and the one and only (With longer hair) Sean Cameron.

Speak of the devil.

"Sean."

He stared right back at her too, mouth gaping. What were the chances he stopped by Degrassi after school was out and she was here?

Geez he looked...like a man. Summer did him good. He lost the beanie and the hoody, only showing off his newest biceps through his white wife beater. His hair was finger length, curling slightly. .she loved it.

Emma then remembered Ellie around the corner and could still hear her crying as she quickly backed from him just as he opened his mouth to speak and put a hand on her arm.

She shot back like fire though and his face twisted up painfully and confused until he saw Ellie storm around the corner and stopped in her tracks, locking eyes with him.

His mouth fell and he tried to tell Emma to stay, but how could that look, Ellie looked ready to kill him. He'd been missing for weeks.

Sean saw Emma walk around him quickly, walking as fast as she could away and he wanted to run after her, but Ellies harsh glare on him had him stuck.

Ellie did see the wierd fact that Emma had bumped into first, and that Sean looked... .different, not only physically, but the way he looked at Emma was different. She ignored it for now though, "How could you do this to me!?" Ellie yelled at him, storming over and shoved him.

"Ellie." he started.

"No, don't! I speak now." she snapped. Marco stood behind and awkwardly turned, leaving them too it. "How was Mommy and Daddy?" she sneered.

"Ellie I told you I had to go.." he said quietly.

Ellie's nose was red, her eyes puffy, "You didn't say you'd be gone that long, Sean! I tried to understand you wanting to go home this summer but when school started, and you didn't come back, and I had to pay last rent myself-"

"I know, that was real shitty." he said, closing his eyes..

"and.." she choked up, "I gave myself to you, Sean. How do you think that made me feel? You just packed your bags the next night and left?"

Around the corner, Emma leaned on the wall, and listened and a tear slipped from her eye.

They had sex. Ellie was talking about giving herself to Sean like she had, wasn't she?

She felt the world crushing around her, her thoughts laughing at her for being so stupid, her heart feeling the familiar break. Sean was just no good for her.

Emma leaned off the wall and finally ran to the exit doors, tears blinding her vision.

Sean, meanwhile, put his head down infront of Ellie, "I can't take that back, I know." he said, and locked eyes with her, "But I am sorry. Home is just what I needed.."

"don't you ever think about what I needed, Sean!?" Ellie shut her eyes tight, remembering the painful night she gave herself to Sean...

Ellie sat in bed, sheets covered around her as her eyes were puffy, and she stared at Sean's retreated back. He sat at the end of his bed, in boxers, head in his hands.

"Sean.." she whispered.

It had hurt. Just as she expected. But she had cried to much from the pain, and she didn't know if she just ruined the mood, or Sean was too scared to keep going, but he had got off her, and here they were.. they've been sitting here almost an hour.

Sean slowly looked up, a numb look in his eyes and turned his head only slightly, not being able to look at her.

It'd been just a few weeks into summer. Sean felt lost, and lonely, even though he shouldn't of because he lived with someone, he was with someone. Yet he did. And every day he wondered what the hell Emma was doing and where she was. It was driving him fucking crazy and he tried to keep living his lie with Ellie and even let them come to this when she had whispered she wanted to but.. it didn't feel right, it didn't feel good.

They were both at a party, they'd both been drinking a bit and maybe the emptiness got more painful when Sean got drunk. It wasn't like the time with Emma though, it wasn't perfect, and Ellie didn't fit into his arms perfectly either.. and when she cried, she didn't just shed a tear like Emma had, she balled her eyes out and it made his stomach turn. He tried to sooth her, like he could do Emma, but it just wasn't working. He couldn't do this.. as much as she insisted she wanted to and was ready now.

"We can try again." Ellie said, leaning up with the blanket around her and leaned her head down, kissing his shoulder and let her fingers play in his ever growing hair.

He just nodded, looking down again. But then the next day, when Ellie came home from hanging out with Marco since Ash had been in London all summer, Sean was packing.

"What's going on?" her voice cracked, putting her bag down.

Sean was shoving clothes into his duffle bag and he stopped when he heard her at his bedroom door and his shoulders fell, "I just..need to go home for a bit, El"

"This is your home, Sean." she declared, shaking her head.

He turned to her, softening, "I need to go back, Ellie. I need to fix things inside of me that feel.." he stared off sadly, "Broken."

"And you think it's just your relationship with your parents?" Ellie asked, walking up to him and cupped his face, "I can go with you."

He looked away, lowering her hands off of him, "need to do it alone. I'll be back, promise." he looked around and back at her, "Stay here, okay?"

She nodded, painfully watching him go back to his bags and zip it up, "did I...did I do anything wrong?"

"No." he said sternly, turning and shaking his head and he looked like he meant it so she nodded, "I'll call you when I get there okay?" he asked, stepping in front of her.

She leaned up, and kissed him..least this time, he kinda slightly kissed back, "Okay." she whispered. She had no idea where his parents were, or what they were like or why even Sean left so maybe he did need to do this, even though she didn't want him to.

"Bye." was all Sean said, and then, he was gone.

She never got a call, not even a letter, nobody knew where Sean was. She tried to find Jay, but guess they hadn't talked in months, and then..well, you know the rest.

"That night with us," Sean told Ellie, snapping her out of the memory, "it wasn't you, it was me." he said.

Ellie shook her head at him confused.

"I'm not the guy for you, El." he whispered.

Ellie looked crushed, "But.." she began to breath unsteadily, "But you said you love me."

He looked at her, an unreadable look but she could see the pity in his eyes. She thought this over a lot...he only said it, he never looked it, nor did it feel like it.

"How could I be so stupid?" she said out loud, looking numbly down.

Sean shut his eyes, hating to do this to her, "You can keep the apartment Ellie, I found a new place-"

"With what money Sean!" she yelled with tears in her eyes, "You broke my heart and now you're breaking my home."

Sean stared down but whispered, "That was never your home Ellie."

She backed up a bit, a little hurt he said that, "what?" she snickered bitterly, "What you want me to go back to my mother or something?" she kept the fact out that her mother had been sober for months, and even got a good job going and their visits had been going really well. She just wanted Sean to know he was scum, and that she hated him right now. How could he do this to her? To them?!

Sean looked at her with sorrow, "Ellie, I went to see her today."

Ellie backed up, wide eyed.

"If you don't wanna go home, thats fine." Sean insisted, "But," he swallowed nervously, "She looked good. I wanted to make sure you'd be okay after we had this.."

"This break up? This betrayl?" she snapped.

He stared off, but nodded.

"So what? Are you leaving Degrassi for good?" she asked him, a bit curious.

He shrugged his shoulders slowly, "I don't know right now."

"Did you ever love me?" she shook her head though when he opened his mouth. She couldn't hear him say it, it hurt already just knowing it. He didn't need to say it, "Was.." she drifted off then looked him in the eyes, "Is there another girl?"