I apologize a million times that I've taken so long to update. :( But this chapter has just taken much longer to write, because I haven't had that many ideas for it, and other stuff have gotten in the way of writing. However, although I have ideas for the following chapter and know, what to include in it, I can't promise that I'll get it to you very fast. But I'll try not to wait more than 1½ months. :D Anyway, I hope you enjoy the chapter. :)
Chapter 13
They lay wrapped up in each others' arms still trying to get their breathing under control. Richard's one arm was wrapped around Isobel's shoulders holding her close, with his hand caressing her shoulder. His other hand was tenderly caressing her arm that lay on his chest, while Isobel's head rested on his shoulder with his face resting against her forehead.
Taking one final deep calming breath Richard inhaled her scent, and then slowly exhaled. He then tenderly kissed her forehead.
"Are you alright?" he asked gently. "Isobel?" he asked again as he got no answer. When she still didn't respond and she kept breathing hard, he got concerned. "Isobel, are you alright?" he asked again leaning his head back to look at her in the process, while also wrapping his hand around her wrist to take her pulse.
She finally nodded taking some deep breaths to get her breathing under control. "I'm fine," she told him keeping her eyes closed.
"Did I hurt you?" he asked alarmed while he placed her hand back on his chest.
She shook her head. "No, you didn't," she told him. "I've already told you that you didn't," she said blushing remembering that he'd asked her a few times, while they made love as it seemed to her that he'd mistaken her sounds of pleasure for sounds of discomfort.
"Are you sure?" he asked again wanting to be absolutely certain.
"Yes, of course," she told him again and smiled a little, hoping it would soothe him.
"Then what is it?" he asked gently. "I have a feeling, there's something wrong."
"No, nothing's wrong," she answered.
"But then what?" he said stroking her arm tenderly.
She swallowed hard and kept her eyes closed, but felt herself blush even more. "For someone, who thought he'd be a disappointment and thought himself inexperienced, you certainly seemed plenty experienced to me," she told him quietly and blushed even more.
"Oh," he commented and felt himself starting to flush. "I see," he said and turned his head from hers and looked at the covers instead and remained silent for a while. "Well, you'd be surprised of what you can learn from reading medical journals," he told her bashfully.
Her eyes snapped open immediately at that comment. "What?" she uttered completely surprised raising her head in the process, while propping herself up on her arm, and then stared wide eyed at him. "You learned that from reading medical journals?" she asked him staring open mouthed.
His head turned towards hers intending on meeting her eyes. But as she had propped herself up on her arm, the covers had fallen slightly down her body, and he found himself staring at her exposed skin and the upper part of her breasts.
Seeing where he was looking Isobel suddenly felt self-conscious and pulled the covers up to cover herself, using the arm that had been on his chest.
When she did that Richard immediately looked away and reddened with embarrassment.
"I'm sorry," he mumbled apologetically.
She shook her head. "No, it's alright," she told him smiling shyly.
He looked back at her and smiled shyly himself. Deciding to make the first move he arranged the pillow so that it was in the middle of the bed. He then put his head on the pillow and gestured for her to join him, so that they would be sharing it facing each other. Giving a small nod she put her own head down, too, making herself comfortable, before looking him in the eyes again.
Taking a deep breath he took a few moments to collect his thoughts, and then slowly exhaled through his nose.
"I suppose, I haven't learned to do exactly that from reading medical journals," he told her still smiling shyly. "But it was your knowledge of how to treat Mr. Drake with adrenaline that made me want to better myself," he said making them both smile remembering that day. "And so since then I've read just about anything I could get my hands on involving medicine and the human body," he explained.
"Ah yes that makes sense," she answered blushing.
"But through all my time as a doctor in this village, I've had some first time husbands of all ages asking for advice on how to go about marital relations," he said. "So in order to be as helpful as possible, I've had to do a lot of reading on that particular matter. And as most of the men were too embarrassed to turn up at the hospital, I've had to remember it all, because it would most likely cause a lot of attention, if I were seen all over the village carrying stacks of medical journals and other such things that would help explain the delicate matter," he explained. "Also most of the meetings usually took place in the middle of nowhere, such as out in a field, the forest, or any place where we knew, we wouldn't be noticed. So it would be impossible really for me to carry anything to such places," he said.
"I understand," she told him seeing the logic in that.
"However, as with everything in the medical world, there's always new research to be found, so my knowledge has been broadened on the matter throughout the recent years," he explained making them both blush more. He then cleared his throat and went on. "But then there are also the more obvious reasons, such as being familiar with the body's anatomy, due to my professional," he said. "Though, I suppose that's in a sense the same, as I just explained," he told her shrugging.
"Perhaps," she commented smiling a little, and shrugged at the same time, "But yes, naturally your profession would provide you with a lot of the knowledge," she said nodding.
He nodded absentmindedly. "And then of course there's the most natural and obvious fact, which is you," he explained as if it was the most natural reason in the world.
"Me?" she uttered slightly shocked raising her eyebrows in the process.
At her reaction Richard suddenly became very flustered.
"W..well," he stammered nervously blushing even more, and then swallowed hard before continuing, but kept looking in her eyes. "I told you downstairs how much I've wanted to make love to you, and how much I've desired you," he said making her nod shyly and blush even more, which did nothing to calm his nerves. "W...w..well," he said awkwardly and then looked away fiddling nervously with the covers, "since I was finally with you like this, I wanted to touch, caress, an..and explore every inch of you with my hands and mou...mouth, like I'd dreamed of doing for years," he said swallowing hard. "I...I just couldn't help myself" he said blushing even harder. "And I wanted to make sure that you felt loved, and got ple..pleasured as much as possible," he said feeling even more awkward, but then looked her in the eyes again. "All I want is to make you happy," he finished softly.
She nodded understanding and then looked away herself feeling awkward and shy. "And you do make me happy," she said and then swallowed hard. "And you did make me very happy," she told him reddening even more. "You made me very happy several times in fact," she then said shyly and quietly.
"I...I'm glad," he told her smiling a little shyly and was unable to keep eye contact. "I thought it sounded as if I did," he then said bashfully. "But I must admit that there were a few moments, when I was in doubt," he said and continued fiddling nervously with the covers.
"Ah yes," she said biting her bottom lip for a moment. "I thought as much, when you a few times asked, if you were hurting me," she replied and looked down into the pillowcase.
"W..well, as I told you earlier, I haven't had that much experience, and it has been many years," he explained. "So while I mostly did think that I wasn't hurting you, I also wanted to make absolute certain. The last thing, I'd ever want, is to cause you any pain," he told her softly.
"I understand," she said nodding into the pillow. "And I'm sorry that I made you doubt," she told him.
"Oh no please don't apologize," he said. "I was the one, who got it wrong," he explained smiling shyly. "But nothing I did made you uncomfortable?" he asked still needing to hear the certainty in her voice one more time.
"No, Richard, most definitely not. On the contrary in fact," she told him reassuringly though very shyly, which made him close his eyes in contentment. However, she then bit her lip again. "Bu..but," she started out hesitantly, "I did start to think that I was putting you off, by the noises that I made, and that that was why you asked me so much," she explained reddening even more and bit her bottom lip again.
At hearing that his eyes were on hers immediately, and he gaped for a moment at seeing her countenance.
"No, Isobel!" he told her imploringly causing her eyes to meet his at his reaction. "Goodness no!" he said and then sighed deeply but smiled in the process. "I might have been unaware of the meaning of the noises you made to begin with," he told her. "But then instinct took over and I started going by what I felt and what I heard," he explained softly and then reached out and cupped her cheek with his hand. "And what I then heard made me want to pleasure you even more," he said bashfully but smiled too, while caressing her cheek with his thumb.
"Oh," she responded softly smiling shyly in the process. But then nervousness took over again and her smile faded. "Wh..what about you?" she asked and then swallowed to collect her nerves. "Y..you said that you'd had dreams of us like this," she reminded him and wanted to look away, but his hand on her cheek prevented her from doing so. "Di..did I live up to...to your dreams?" she asked in a quiet voice, and then bit her bottom lip again.
"Oh, Isobel," he said sighing happily in the process and smiled widely. "You needn't ever worry about that," he told her ardently. "Reality outweighs any dream that I've ever had about us," he said truthfully and looked at her so intensely with love, want, and desire, which made her swallow hard and bite down on her lip even more. "You are passionate about helping people, your causes, your views, and about righting any wrong doing. But all that passion do not measure up to how passionately you make love," he explained blushing in the process not quite believing his own words at how freely and passionately he was able to talk to her, after years of believing he'd never get to experience such a thing. Removing his hand he placed it next to hers by the pillow. "The way you touched me with your hands and your mouth was incredible," he said blushing even more at being able to see her blush even more. "You're incredible in every way, Isobel, so you never have to doubt yourself again," he told her honestly yet softly at the same time.
She swallowed hard. "I see," she said quietly. She opened and closed her mouth a couple of times, and then swallowed hard one more time. "S..so the part where I...when I...the time that I..." she sighed heavily feeling rather embarrassed and shy that she was unable to articulate, what she wanted to say. Instead she ended up pointing towards his ear. "Y..you didn't mind th..that?" she asked hesitantly.
He smiled lovingly at her. She usually never had a problem getting her meaning across. And while he could understand that her bluntness and straightforwardness could cause problems for some people, it was a quality he admired in her, although he'd been on the receiving end more than once. But at the same time he wished, he had the freedom to behave like that with everyone, if the situation called for it. However, seeing her so shy and nervous was quite endearing as well, and he looked forward to getting to know her, in a whole new way now that they were more than friends.
"You mean when you took my earlobe between your teeth, and swirled your tongue around it?" he asked gently.
"Y..yes," she stammered awkwardly.
Shaking his head slightly, he reached out with his hand and cupped her cheek again, "No, I rather enjoyed that," he told her lovingly. "I enjoyed everything you did to me," he told her imploringly.
"Oh," she said blushing even more. "I'm glad of that," she told him after a moment, and then sighed in relief.
"Good," he murmured softly.
She smiled at him shyly, and reached out her own hand to cup his cheek. Their smiles then turned from shy ones to more tender smiles, and leaning towards each other their lips met in a soft kiss.
When they pulled apart a few moments later Richard started to chuckle.
"What?" Isobel asked her brow furrowing in confusion, as both their hands came to rest on the mattress once more.
"It's quite funny, when you think about it," he said still chuckling.
"What is?" she asked still confused.
"Us," he pointed out.
She frowned at that. "How so?"
"I know it's perfectly natural for us to be so shy and awkward around each other, when we suddenly go from being friends for years to much more than that," he explained. "And especially considering our age, how long it's been since either of us made love to another person, and how we both thought we would be a disappointment to one another." She nodded understanding and waited for him to continue. "Well, I think you were right in wanting us to make love tonight, and to push me on the matter," he elaborated. "Can you imagine if we'd been this awkward and shy around each other on our wedding night of all nights?" he asked letting out another chuckle.
Thinking about what he'd said, Isobel started chuckling as well after a few moments. "Yes, I suppose that might have made it even more awkward," she commented. "And it might have made us uneasy all day knowing what the night would bring," she mused.
"Exactly," he agreed.
They continued laughing for a while, and like earlier downstairs it helped to ease some of the tension, shyness, and awkwardness out of the both of them.
"But," she sighed, "it would've been perfectly natural to have waited. And if circumstances were different, we might not have had a choice," she told him.
"I know," he said nodding. "But I'm glad circumstances were different for us," he told her smiling lovingly. "I'm glad we didn't wait."
She smiled back at him. "So am I," she replied softly.
He then started to blush again. "A..and," he started out nervously, "perhaps we can continue getting to know each other like this, so that all the shyness and awkwardness will be gone by the time, we get married," he said shyly.
She blushed immediately at his words, but kept eye contact. "I'd like that very much," she told him just as shyly. "I agree that we need to be comfortable with each other, and that we need to know one another in every way possible."
Sighing inwardly in relief that she'd agreed, though he truthfully knew from their conversation that he hadn't needed to feel this way, he smiled at her tenderly. "Well then, it seems like the perfect opportunity with them all gone," he said softly.
"Yes, it really is the perfect opportunity to get to know each other in every way, when there's no one around to interfere," she agreed and then leaned in initiating another kiss.
When they pulled apart a few moments later, they silently just looked at each other tenderly with their hands intertwined.
"So," Richard said breaking the silence after a few moments. "How do you want our wedding to be?" he asked. "We never did get around to discussing that," he commented. "We'll do it anyway you want," he told her smiling.
"No, we never did get around to discussing that," she agreed. "But we did agree that nothing was about what I wanted, or what you wanted," she reminded him. "In fact," she said raising an eyebrow teasingly, "you said we'd share everything equally. That includes our wedding as well," she told him matter-of-fact grinning in the process.
He rolled his eyes good-natured. "Yes, but I don't know about such things."
"But surely you have some idea of what you'd want," she said curiously.
"Well, yes perhaps," he shrugged.
"Good," she answered happily. "Then if you could have it your way, what would our wedding be like?" she asked.
He chuckled and shook his head at her. "You just said that we had agreed downstairs that it wasn't about what I wanted, or what you wanted," he reminded her teasingly.
"I know, but just humor me, please," she said grinning. "I'd genuinely like to know," she then added more softly.
Returning the smile he gave her hand a squeeze. "Well, I wouldn't want anything lavish," he told her. "But," he said pausing a moment and then sighed, "the truth is that if it were really only up to me alone, I'd want it to be just the two of us," he explained.
"Really?" she asked surprised.
"Yes," he answered. "I like the company of others, and I enjoy talking to people. When the whole village gets together for an event, it's always great fun," he said smiling. "But I'm not one for being the center of attention," he explained. "And I'd very much be the center of attention on my own wedding day."
She nodded. "Yes, it would be hard not to be," she agreed with a chuckle, but then smiled softly at him again. "And if it were just the two of us?" she asked giving his hand a squeeze.
Caressing her hand with his thumb, he smiled at her tenderly. "We'd make arrangements to be married in a small church in a small village somewhere. Not too close to here, but not too far away either," he explained.
"Somewhere where no one would know us," she concluded.
"Precisely," he said smiling a little more. "Since we wouldn't need to drive far, we would have changed into our wedding attire before leaving Downton, and gone straight to the church," he said. "But we would have made arrangements with a small inn beforehand, so that we would have a place to stay for a few days."
"Yes, it wouldn't do to be married, but not have a place to stay for the night," she mused and then chuckled at the thought.
"No, it wouldn't," he agreed chuckling as well. "But regarding the wedding," he said after a moment getting back on topic. "We would have made arrangements to be married in the early evening, so that we would still have the light from the sun, but it wouldn't be shining too brightly."
"So we wouldn't necessarily be marrying in the middle of the summer?" she asked.
He shook his head slightly. "No, not necessarily. But it would still be around that time, so that the evenings would be warm and longer," he added and she nodded in reply. "After the small ceremony we would go to the inn to check-in, and then take a walk around the village before finding a nice and quiet restaurant," he said smiling. "And then after dinner we would find a quiet spot to enjoy the sunset."
"Before going back to the inn for our wedding night and honeymoon," she concluded with a smile.
"Yes, though it wouldn't be much of a honeymoon," he said sighing a little.
"But it would be lovely. It all sounds so lovely and wonderful," she told him reassuringly.
He smiled at that. "But it will never be like that," he told her.
She frowned at that. "Why not?"
He chuckled at her expression and then sighed smiling. Letting go of her hand he raised it to her cheek, running his knuckles along her jaw for a few moments, and then continued running his fingers lightly over her brow.
"I only see us being able to marry like that, if no one knew about us," he explained. "And while the family does not yet know of our engagement, they do know why you went home early, and they know about my feelings for you."
She nodded in understanding. "Yes, I see your point. But that still doesn't mean, we can't get married with no one else there," she told him.
Pursing his lips and narrowing his eyes slightly, he looked at her knowingly. "You wouldn't want to get married without the family there, because they're your family as well," he stated matter-of-fact. "And you would want your brother and his family there, too," he said running his fingers down the side of her face.
"Yes, I would prefer that," she acknowledge smiling happily at how well he once again proved to know her.
"Then that's what we'll do.," he told her smiling. "And I don't mind that at all," he quickly reassured her.
She smiled warmly at that, and knew that he was being honest, and that he hadn't said it just to please her.
"What about your family?" she asked. "Wouldn't you want your brother, your sisters, and their families there as well? I'm sure they would want to see their brother and uncle get married," she said smiling.
Isobel had met one of Richard's sisters and her husband back in 1913, when they'd come for a visit. However, she'd only met them briefly at the hospital, as her and Richard's friendship was only beginning at the time. Richard's other sister and her husband as well as Richard's brother and his wife had visited on two separate occasions during the years, since Isobel had arrived in Downton. However, both times Isobel had been visiting her own family in Manchester, so she'd never had the opportunity to meet them. But since Richard always went home to Scotland for his holidays to visit his family, they never had much reason to come to Downton, as he was always busy working and wouldn't have much time to spend with them.
Richard smiled a little wider at her question, as he moved his hand from her cheek down to her shoulder.
"I have no doubt that they would, as I'm quite certain they thought that I would never marry," he said.
"We can get married in Scotland," she suggested. "I wouldn't mind that, and we'd still be able to invite, whomever we'd want," she told him, which made him smile even more. "It would just be a question of whether or not, people would travel to Scotland," she said.
"Indeed it would," he agreed. "But perhaps not everyone, we invite would be able to make it, and I think that would be a shame," he said.
"Yes, of course," she nodded. "I hadn't thought of it like that," she added. "And it certainly would be a shame, though I think it's also a shame that we can't get married in Scotland. I think it would've been a lovely wedding," she told him lovingly.
"I appreciate the sentiment," he said warmly but then smirked a little. "But I'm not sure we'd be able to find proper accommodation for most of the Crawleys," he told her wryly. "I don't see them being content to stay with friends and relations during their stay. And that kind of accommodation is really the only possibility, since the nearest inn is miles away from where I grew up."
She laughed heartily at that, and he joined her. "No, I think most of them would find that a ghastly prospect," she commented dryly rolling her eyes in the process and then laughed again. "But," she said more seriously after a moment, "as this is our wedding, it will be entirely on our terms. We will not take anyone's wishes into account, and we will not submit to any demands." She then smiled at him tenderly. "We are free to do as we wish, and we will make all plans for our wedding together," she told him.
He nodded in agreement smiling tenderly as well. "As we will with any decision in our marriage," he promised. "I have no desire to change who we are, just because it will be conventional once we're married. We wouldn't be who the other person fell in love with, if we wanted to change one another," he stated. "And I wouldn't want to change anything about you," he told her softly. "If you wish to go to a political meeting, or you wish to work for a good cause somewhere that's not in Downton, I'd be more than happy to have supper waiting on table and be ready with a warm cup of tea to ease off the stress of a long tiring day, when you come home," he declared tenderly.
Hearing those words she smiled at him widely and lovingly allowing them to truly sink in. However, a few moments later her lips pursed in amusement, making him raise an eyebrow in curiosity.
"And what happens if you're still at the hospital or out on a housecall?" she asked with a grin.
Richard's laughter soon rang out in the entire bedroom, and Isobel joined him.
"Oh, we'll think of something," he told her reassuringly a moment later still laughing. However, when his hand on her shoulder moved and came in contact with her hair, his eyes moved to his hand and he became transfixed. "We'll think of something," he repeated absentmindedly though softly.
In all the years, he'd been in love with her he had wondered about many things in regards to her. One of them was how she looked with her hair down, though there was no doubt in his mind that she would look absolutely beautiful. He had also imagined that it was very soft to the touch, and he had envisioned him running his fingers through it, as well as burying his face in it.
"You seem like, you're in a world of your own," she commented softly.
Blinking surprised at her words he smiled shyly at her, and withdrew his hand.
"Sorry," he murmured apologetically. "I just can't help but touch you," he said blushing.
Biting her lip for a moment she then smiled shyly herself. "I wasn't implying that you stop," she spoke softly.
Feeling more confident than she'd felt earlier, she reached out her own hand and started running her fingers across his brow and then down his nose. She then ran her fingers across his mustache, then down over his lips continuing down his throat, and then ran them across the upper part of his chest. After a few moments of doing that, her hand went further down his chest to caress his upper body.
Taking a few moments to enjoy her caresses, he then took her lead and reached out his own hand again. He ran his fingers across her cheek, and then down the side of her neck. His fingers then traveled down across her upper chest pausing for a moment to make sure that she wasn't uncomfortable. When he saw no sign of that, he continued to run his fingers further down her body, and tenderly explored her chest and breasts. Seeing her enjoy his touch, he let his fingers wander further down her body to caress her abdomen, and she mimicked his actions.
However, when his fingers lightly ran across her side, she recoiled and he immediately pulled his hand away from her body.
"Isobel, I'm so sorry," he apologized instantly. "I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable," he told her horrified that he'd done just that.
She shook her head. "You didn't. Not at all," she reassured him and smiled tenderly at him.
Taking a moment to consider her reaction, he then raised an eyebrow and smirked at her.
"You're ticklish," he stated.
"No!" she answered too quickly, but then swallowed slowly and took a deep breath. "No, I'm not," she told him more calmly.
"I don't believe you," he told her grinning and then placed his hand under the covers reaching out for her again.
"Richard, don't," she warned narrowing her eyes at him.
He shrugged. "Don't what?" he asked in mock innocence. "You said you weren't ticklish, so I'm sure you don't mind me making absolute certain of that," he told her teasingly. "And we are supposed to get to know each other better," he reminded her cheekily.
"Yes, I realize that, bu..." The rest of her words died on her lips, as Richard's hand quickly came in contact with her side again, and he started to tickle her mercifully. "Richard, stop!" she protested and tried her best not to laugh.
"I don't think, I want to," he said grinning and then used his other hand to tickle her with as well.
That was what it took for her to laugh out loud.
"Richard, please stop," she begged laughing.
"But you're laughing, so you must be enjoying it," he argued enjoying seeing her like this.
"I might be laughing, but that does not mean I'm enjoying it," she tried telling him firmly but to no avail.
In an attempt to get him to stop, she reached out her own hands trying to find out if he was ticklish as well. But as she tried reaching for him by pushing herself forward, their arms got tangled and the covers ended up being pushed down their bodies exposing their naked chests to each other.
He stopped tickling her immediately as his eyes were once again drawn to her naked body.
Blushing instantly at his reaction Isobel felt self-conscious again, and wanted to pull the covers up to cover herself. However, feeling the movement of her hand next to his, Richard quickly but softly trapped her arm underneath his own arm, making it impossible for her to move it.
"Please don't cover yourself. You have no reason to," he murmured softly looking into her eyes. She swallowed hard again at seeing once more how intensely he looked at her with love, want, desire, and so much more. "You're so beautiful. So very, very beautiful," he breathed.
Still feeling very shy about showing herself so much, she also knew that she didn't want to hide anything from him anymore. They'd hidden their feelings from each other for long enough that it was time to be open and honest about everything. That meant showing every part of themselves to the other, whether that was physical or emotional.
Though she blushed more at his words, she also smiled and gave him a slight nod, letting him know that she was okay. He smiled more lovingly in return that she'd allowed him to look, and ever so slowly he started to admire the parts of her body that was revealed to him.
Looking at him at first as he slowly took in every inch of her with his eyes, she then allowed her own eyes to drift to his own body. And just as he admired her, she admired him.
After taking their time admiring the other, their eyes met simultaneously. As they smiled tenderly at each other a silent agreement passed between them.
Richard removed his arm from the hold it had on Isobel's arm, and he gave her hand a gentle squeeze.
He then moved his arm around her body, as she moved her now free arm up around his neck, and while she pulled him gently towards her, he pushed her gently back into the mattress.
A second later their lips met and soon after hands and mouths started to explore as instincts and knowledge became their guide.
TBC