When Sean had went to Wasaga...lets just say he bumped into a 'friend' on his way out.
He had stopped at the Dot to grab a meal before his trip, and he sat at the counter with his train ticket on the table beside his food that he didn't eat, but just stared at.
"Cameron?"
Only one person called him by that name. As angry as Sean still was at him, he was also exhausted. Other than that, it was also almost midnight.
Jay Hogart had entered from the dark night and walked in, sharing a look with Spinner who was washing some dishes.
"You going somewhere?" Jay asked, picking up his Wasaga ticket until Sean yanked them from his hand and glared viciously at him.
"Don't you get it?" Sean sneered, looking Jay up and down, "I hate you. It's taking my everything not to knock your sorry ass to the ground.
"For the shooting thing?" Jay asked so calmy, yet did have a bit of guilt in his eyes, but also seemed to eye Sean when Sean looked away.
Maybe that wasn't the reason why...
"Or for the Emma thing?" Jay asked, brave enough to say it.
Sean's eyes snapped to him, his mouth hanging a bit and he tried to glare and stood up. Jay stepped back, putting his hands up.
"Look man, I'm sorry for the whole thing." Jay looked at him, meaning it, "Please, let me say my peace then go ahead and beat the shit out of me for touching your ex girlfriend."
Sean looked away, guilty himself, but kept his fists down at his sides.
Jay scoffed, looking away, "I was a shit head." he looked down, "I didn't think you knew but you had to of, the way you stopped talking to me, the hints you dropped around Alex. I was a moron for not noticing."
"Save it." Sean growled and grabbed his bag, "I don't wanna hear it."
"You runnin somewhere?"
Sean stopped and turned, storming over to Jay, "I'm not running from anything." he shoved his chest, sending Jay back into a table behind him hard.
"Hey!" Spinner pleaded from the counter, "Please no fighting."
"Lets take it outside then." Sean declared, glaring at Jay, pointing at the door.
"I'm just gonna let you beat my ass." muttered Jay honestly, shrugging and standing back up again
Sean glared harder, "Let me?" he repeated.
Jay rolled his eyes "I deserve it, I get it! Alright!? I took advantage of Emma!.. I even said my peace with her. I'm a loser! Can't you fucking see I get it!? I GET IT!" Jay's voice began to raise, "I lost my girlfriend, my friends, my school, my future! What's one fucking beating gonna do?" Jay walked to Sean and pointed at his face, "Go ahead, Cam, hit me!"
Sean gritted his teeth, and he wanted to, but this was all very confusing to him. He'd never seen Jay like this, nor admitting to his mistakes. His eyes would probably pop out if Jay even apologised.
Jay stood there, panting a bit from his outburst and eyes even closed, waiting for a punch. But it didn't come, he opened his eyes, staring at Sean who was panting as well from trying to keep himself together.
Jay looked down and his shoulders fell. He always respected Sean, little jealous of him to be honest. It sucked they weren't friends anymore. He didn't blame him though, he really was a scumbag.
"I'm sorry.." breaths Jay, honestly.
Sean's shoulders fell too. Fuck. Jay meant it. This wasn't fair. In the right kind of world, he'd beat Jay to a bloody pulp yet here he was, accepting his apology.. he didn't think he'd live to see the day.
He looked at the clock, and let the exhaustion wash over him again, "I gotta go." he sighed, turning and both Spin and Jay shared a look.
"Sean," Spinner called and shook his head, "Where you going?"
"Anywhere but here." muttered Sean, opening the door and leaving. He was dragging his feet toward the train station, when that bright orange civic came driving up along the side of him.
He narrowed his eyes, seeing Jay driving slow to keep up with him and his window down, "Get in." Jay calmly said.
Sean stopped, and didn't know why, but he nodded and did. He got in.
The car parked where the train was coming and as they waited, they sat in silence.
"Ellie know you're going?" Jay asked him, narrowing his eyes to see if those two were even still together. He hadn't seen them in a while.
Sean nodded, staring ahead
Jay couldn't help but notice he looked like utter shit. He licked his lips nervously, "Emma know your going?"
Sean's head fell, looking down at his hands in his laps. He shook his head no, "She's.. somewhere. I don't even know." he snickered, "But I haven't seen her around."
Jay nodded slowly, and tapped his fingers on his steering wheel, "are you guys.. like, talking again? Does Nash know?"
"No." Sean replied. He couldn't believe he was talking to Jay about this. He couldn't help but admit though Jay was good to have on your side, deep down a somewhat decent guy, if he was your friend. "Me and Emma.." Sean's face twisted in pain, "Have been more than talking."
Jay raised his eyebrows, a bit impressed and slapped Sean's chest, "Well man, congrats. Isn't this what you always wanted? Back in your old lovers life?"
Sean glared over at him, "It's not like that, Jackass."
"Mm." nodded Jay, "I get it. The whole Ellie thing, her living with her.. her always.." he ran his finger on his wrist and Sean rolled his eyes.
"You're such a fucking moron."
Jay laughed though, and Sean tried not to smile, shaking his head. Fucking classic Jay Hogart.
Sean stared off again and finally confessed, "I slept with Emma."
Dead silence.
Jay's mouth dropped, and Sean was a little stunned to see him this shocked.
"you mean... Emma slept with you." joked Jay, shaking his head in disbelief.
Sean eyed him weirdly, "Didn't you and.." he drifted off, not wanting to finish that sentence, pain coursing through him, but Jay understood what he meant.
"No man." Jay answered, "I uh, got more than her if you know what I mean."
Sean did know what he meant, just didn't want to. .
He seemed confused though. "she never.."
Jay rubbed his jaw, shrugging with a wierd face, "She didn't like me touching her or...something." he admitted.
Sean saw him, slightly hurt. Did...wow, did Jay really like Emma?
Jay was staring down, "She was pretty messed up." he looked up at Sean, "I know what you mean now when you say she kinda just.. makes you care. Her virtue, or whatever. I did kinda like her." he flinched a bit, waiting for Sean to hit him, but he did nothing.
He understood, Emma was a hard girl not to fall for.
"I mean, I didn't love her or anything, I just felt... a good vibe, a connection." Jay told him, "she's a good girl." he narrowed his eyes to Sean, "She's your girl."
"Not anymore." Sean sighed, and heard a train coming, "Time I go and try to move on."
"You're not leavin forever are you?" Jay asked and then snickered when Sean didn't reply, "I thought I was the wuss."
Sean shot daggers at him.
He rolled his eyes, "Well fuck, Cam. You want the girl? Go fucking take her. She'd have you, happily. You fucked up, she'll get that. How many times did she take back your sorry ass before anyways?" he snickered, "And if she gave you her V-card, doesn't that tell you anything?"
"What can I give her? Huh Jay!?" yelled Sean, eyes darting around, "I'm a welfare loser, parent-less, failure.. piece of shit-"
"Her piece of shit." joked Jay and shrugged, "You know what I would do to get Alex back? Everything. But it's over. You still got a chance and you're fucking it up! It's gonna suck for Ellie but if you love Emma-"
The train was getting louder, and beginning to pull up and Sean had to get out, get out of that car, get out of this city.
"SEAN!" shouted Jay, getting out of the car too when Sean had stormed out and was heading to the loud thudding train, "If you don't come back, then you don't deserve her, and you'll never change!"
Sean stopped, and numbly watched the train come to a halt, and he climbed aboard.
'if you don't come back...'- Jay's voice haunted him
'I'm not leavin' Sean once told Emma. 'But you're so good at it' she sneered back.
'you don't deserve her'- Jay's voice in his head again
Memories clouded Sean's head of making love to Emma, her innocence glowing off her and her moans escaping her mouth, dancing in Sean's ears.
'if you love Emma..'- Jays voice.
Sean pictured him and Emma on their first date, ever, going through garbage for her. When she helped him study for tests. When they had their first break up. When he dropped by her mothers wedding and they had their first real kiss. The times he snuck into her window. When they broke up again. When he'd always watch her from afar when with Ellie. When he saved her life. When he got in a fight with her at the ravine. When he kissed her at the ravine. When she helped bandage his old wound up, and when the finally made love and when they had to pretend nothing happened. Then when he grabbed her inside the library, feeling betrayed that she had gone with Jay when she promised him she wouldn't.
Jesus. They'd gone through so much and that still wasn't even half of it and he STILL wasn't over her.
He did.
He was downright in love with her. Emma Nelson had a hold on his heat and no other girl would ever possibly get a hold of it. Nobody would be able to replace her.
'you'll never change!' Jays words again haunted his head.
Reality slipped back into Sean. . it was never Emma that needed him, maybe only slightly,but it was him who needed her...
This whole time he thought it was about finally getting to help Emma, but he had already saved her, it was her that was helping him. He couldn't be this guy anymore. He didn't wanna be a coward, but now, more than anything, he knew it was right in going back to Wasaga.
He needed to do a few more things before he returned.
Sean shut his eyes, and the train was headed to Wasaga, and he tried to push the painful memories to stay behind in Degrassi.
Your eyes, they shine so bright
I wanna save that light
I can't escape this now
Unless you show me how
When you feel my heat
Look into my eyes
It's where my demons hide
It's where my demons hide
Don't get too close
It's dark inside
It's where my demons hide
It's where my demons hide
(Demons-imagine dragons)
I'm stopping here guys. No reviews and that sucks when I put effort in. It's why I stop so many stories. I think I'm almost done with writing fics... so for the readers but you should be reviewing if you want me to continue! I don't get paid to do this aha. I'd atleast like some views back and seeing if there is even anybody reading...anyways, yup. Another unfinished fic (thumbs up)