Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto

Naruto stepped out of the elevator into the first basement level of the Hokage tower and walked up the stairs. Greeting Yukino, the Hokage's personal secretary on the first floor, he moved past the sliding doors and into the sunshine of a bright sunny day. Except it wasn't.

"Ah fuck I didn't bring a raincoat."

By the time Naruto got to the training field the tropical storm had ended leaving an extremely soaked and irritated blonde ninja. Across the field sat a black haired male and a pink haired female. The pink haired female decided to wave, but suddenly decided against it and awkwardly placed her hand back down. The black haired male seemed to be angsting again and did not seem like he wanted to be disturbed. "What the hell happened to you Naruto? Your clothes are all wet!" the pink one exclaimed, looking over the dripping blonde with mild curiosity.

"Wait. It didn't rain here?" Naruto looked up at the sky above the training ground. Clear skies.

"Nope, not a single drop. Probably been one of the hotter days today actually." The pink one looked towards the black haired one. "Right Sasuke?" Sasuke stood up and walked towards the two.

"Hn." He turned and sat back down.

"What a great conversationalist we've got on our team Sakura" said Naruto, pulling out a homemade nutrition bar and munching on it. "I feel like I know all about his life now."

"Don't insult Sasuke you blonde idiot!" Sakura cried, "You only wish to be as cool as him right Sasuke?"

"Hn."

If at any time Naruto ever felt smarter than the rest of the human race, this was definitely one of those times.

"Still haven't figured out that fucking rain though." Naruto thought to himself.

If one were to look for Hatake Kakashi one would definitely not find him at the training fields accompanying his team on intense team-building and training exercises. If one were to look for Hatake Kakashi one would simply have to look in the tree next to the training field where his team could be participating in team-building and training exercises. Here the one eyed, mask wearing, green vested Jounin spent his time before he knew he had to go see the little brats he was placed in charge of. Giggling into his book "Icha Icha Paradise" he sensed the growing distress of his team. Spending most of the morning making a rain cloud above Naruto's head wasn't very productive, and it made him miss his recommended reading for his Icha Icha paradise fan club. Catching up on that reading was what was making him late now. After reaching the page where the heroine Sakyaki had encountered a strange tentacle monster that oozed strawberry jelly he bookmarked the page and closed the book. Getting up off the tree branch he jumped off and walked towards his team.

"KAKASHI SENSEI YOU'RE LATE!" The familiar screech of Sakura pierced the air.

"Ah yes. You see today I had to print something but my printer ran out of black ink. I went to Ninja Depot to pick up more ink but their octopuses were fresh out so I had to go catch one and make the ink myself.." Kakashi said, eye smiling at his students. Sakura became speechless. This was probably one of the worst lies he had ever told for being late. She turned towards her teammates for help.

"I've had that problem before." Naruto began making squeezing motions with his hands "Gotta keep those suckers away from your face. Motherfuckin octopuses don't got no colored ink either so it sucks." Kakashi nodded as if Naruto's statement had made sense and he was agreeing with how absolutely true it was. Sakura sat in disbelief.

"Hn."

Sakura fainted.

Flashback:

"Likes, Dislikes, and hopes and goals. Pinkie you go first."

"I like…heehee…I dislike…INO-PIG…my goal is….heehee"

"Uchiha you're next"

"Hn."

"Blondie how about you?"

"I enjoy long walks on the beach, lobster dinners, sunset drives down a mountain and Ninja-O's. I dislike girls with purple hair because that's just crazy weird and I don't know why they do that. Like even if it's natural your hair's freaking purple. THAT'S CRAZY" Naruto put his hands up near his head and imitated an explosion. "My goal in life is to make awesome things" Kakashi looked over his team.

"So I've got a pink creature in heat, a angsty vampire, and an insane blonde. Not too bad." Kakashi thought. He stood from the railing that he had been leaning on. "You will meet me tomorrow morning at training ground 3 where you will be evaluated. Don't eat breakfast or you'll throw up." He turned and walked towards the stairs.

"Wait sensei I thought we already graduated?"

Kakashi paused and looked back. "It is up to me whether or not you are trash or you are ninja. If you are trash you will be sent back. Come prepared." He continued walking and disappeared in the stairwell.

"Holy shit he's scary as fuck" Sakura thought to herself. She looked at her two teammates. Or where she thought her two teammates were supposed to be. "What the fuck? Where the hell did they go?"

The next morning at 5AM Sakura stepped onto the training field. Too restless to sleep, she had stayed up all night worrying about the test that she was about to take. Figuring it was a better idea to be at the training grounds rather than toss around in bed she got dressed and stepped out to the training grounds where she sat next to a training post. "Damn no one's here yet." 30 minutes later Sasuke arrived and sat down by the training post she was situated at. His blue shirt and the way he only bandaged one leg on his khaki shorts made his sudden close proximity to Sakura more unbearable for her. She slowly inched her way towards Sasuke, trying to get closer…

"WOOOOOOOOOOHOOOOOOOO I FUCKING LOVE MORNINGS" A loud booming voice echoed across the training field and a blonde head could be seen through the morning fog. Naruto wore his standard orange unbuttoned lab coat and blue flipflops, showing off his white tank top and frog decorated shorts. Sakura jumped and Sasuke caught on to what she was attempting to do. He quickly crawled to a farther post and sat there.

"NARUTO DO YOU HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING LOUD?" Sakura screeched. Birds cold be heard flying from trees throughout the forests. Naruto felt his eardrops pop twice. Sasuke even had something to say about it.

"Hn?"

"Damn Sakura-chan you got one hell of a voice." Naruto stuck his finger inside his ear and twisted hoping to get the weird feeling out. Sakura sat back down at the post, embarrassed at the scene she had caused. Leaning her head back against the post she looked at the homeless birds in the sky and became lost in thought. Naruto, noticing that both his teammates were not in a talking mood took out a badly painted orange cylindrical capsule and a screwdriver and began messing with it.

"Hn?"

"It's none of your goddamn business Sasuke." Naruto said without even looking up from his work.

"Hn."

Kakashi made his way towards the training ground around 11am. He had a hearty breakfast at a new breakfast joint that opened by his place called IJUMP (International Junction Under Many Pancakes) and had himself a circle of cooked sweet delicious dough covered in syrup harvested from the trees around Konoha. It was so good that he had to get two more orders. Seeing his charges within the distance he decided to skip the journey and simply poof his way to them.

"Yo." Kakashi appeared before them in a puff of white smoke. "Shall we begin?". All three Genin jumped back, startled by their instructor's sudden entrance.

"YOU'RE LATE!" Sakura yelled, pointing her finger at him in an accusatory way. "I DIDN'T FUCKING EAT FOR 12 HOURS CAUSE I'VE BEEN WATCHING MY FIGURE AND YOU TOLD US NOT TO EAT BREAKFAST." Sakura's stomach growled in agreement.

Kakashi laughed to himself. "That was a good one" he thought to himself. He looked at Sakura. "For one, I am not late. Yesterday none of you decided to ask me what time exactly we are meeting at. Which brings us to the first test that you have already failed. Good job." He said. His students felt a large drop of sweat slide down each of the back of their heads. Kakashi pulled out two bells attached to a piece of wire. Jingling them he showed them to his team. "Your objective for the next test is to take these bells from me using whatever force you can. Come at me with the intent to kill. Two bells so two pass. One will be sent back. Begin." Kakashi pulled out his book and began reading again. He was immediately greeted with a fist to the face that had gotten past his acute ninja senses. Flying backwards he flipped in the air and landed on his feet putting his book away to keep it from further harm. Looking up he saw a red dress and pink hair, It seemed that the other two had already left.

"SHANNARO! YOU KEPT ME FROM BREAKFAST. THAT'S ONE OF MY FAVORITE FUCKING MEALS." Sakura's eyes whitened. A gigantic vein bulged out of her forehead. Raising her fist she slammed the ground splitting the earth towards Kakashi. Kakashi jumped back landing on top of the small lake within the training ground. Sakura charged towards the lake but stopped at the shoreline and began to yell. "YOU MOTHERFUCKING BROOM I SMELL THOSE FUCKING PANCAKES ON YOU. YOU TOLD US NOT TO EAT AND YOU ATE. I'LL KILL YOU!"

"Holy shit what the fuck is wrong with her?" Kakashi thought. That punch had really hurt. He really wanted to know what happened with the jelly octopus but it seemed he had to wait. Something had triggered the pink one and he was curious. Lost in his thoughts he did not notice that the yelling had stopped and the sounds of a tree being uprooted could be heard.

"DIE MOTHERFUCKER!"

Kakashi barely had time to dodge the huge tree Sakura had just thrown at him. He took out a stun seal and charged her attempting to knock out his pink student and save himself a whole lot of trouble. Sakura noticed the seal and immediately raged more. "NOT THAT SHIT AGAIN. I'M GONNA FUCKING EAT BEFORE I FUCKING SLEEP." Sakura ripped a huge chunk of earth from the ground and flung it straight at Kakashi as if it were a kunai. The silver haired nin was forced to substitute himself with a nearby log. Sakura turned towards him, literal steam rising from her head. "GET THE FUCK OVER HERE!" She channeled chakra into her legs and sped towards Kakashi engaging him in Taijutsu.

"This is definitely not a Genin-level ninja" Kakashi thought to himself. He focused on dodging her swings and kicks rather than blocking, remembering the damage she had done. However Sakura was swinging and kicking in a wildly unpredictable manner leaving Kakashi dodging for his life. In a corner bush Sasuke felt that his emotions needed to be heard.

"Hn."

Kakashi finally saw an opening. Jumping over Sakura's sweping leg kick he reached out at the back of Sakura's neck with the seal. Sakura turned and extended her fist to match Kakashi's hand but it was too late, the seal was placed. Kakashi, however, fell into the sweeping motion of her arm, taking the full brunt of her punch and flew into a nearby tree. Flipping in mid-air he landed standing sideways alongside the tree trunk clutching his stomach. "Holy shit she hits hard." He thought, reminding himself to stop by the hospital later to check his ribs." He walked down the trunk and moved farther into the forest. "I'm pretty sure I heard a Hn somewhere around here earlier…"

Sasuke thought out what must've been the greatest trap in the world. He utilized ninja wire and kunai to create a literal forest of death. Once Kakashi stepped into the clearing he'd be done for. "Since he said killing intent there's no way I'll go to jail" Sasuke thought to himself. He sat behind the tree and waited. Soon he heard footsteps and peeked out. A tuft of silver hair was making its way throughout the trees of the forest towards his location. Sasuke readied himself. "One more step." He thought, "Just one more step and I got you."

Kakashi appeared in the clearing and saw a large drawn out dirt X in the ground. He immediately knew something was off.

"DIE BROTHER!" Sasuke pulled the strings unleashing kunai hell on Kakashi. Loud thuds of the kunai embedding itself into the Jounin could be heard from where Sasuke was sitting. He smiled to himself, figuratively killing his brother yet again in his imagination. Rolling off the tree branch he walked towards the remains of Kakashi. The kunai had pierced his entire body, leaving almost nothing to see. It was literally almost a human figure of kunai. And then it went poof and all the kunai fell down.

"What?" Sasuke thought, turning to try to find his sensei amongst the branches.

"Under you." Two hands shot out from within the dirt, grabbing Sasuke's ankles and dragging him down into the dirt until only his head showed. Coming back out of the ground he looked down at the imprisoned Genin. "Gotta keep your head in the game bro." He patted his student on the head and walked away, leaving Sasuke stuck up to the neck in the ground surrounded by scattered kunai.

"Hn."

As Kakashi was burying Sasuke, Naruto continued to work on his orange cylinder. It was his first invention, and today was most definitely going to be it's test drive. Placing his hand on the capsule he began channeling chakra into it. A loud hiss could be heard as steam exited out of the bottom, and a green light appeared.

"Good. Just as the book said it would do."

Naruto waited patiently at the center of the training ground for his sensei. He had noticed Sakura's unconscious body and the surrounding damage and realized Sakura must not have eaten. "Same shit as the academy." He mentally sighed. Sakura had not eaten for 10 hours once at the academy due to a buffet special that the academy was going to have. However due to a civilian protest about child health standards and obesity they were forced to spar for physical exercise instead. Sakura picked up her sparring partner and threw her along with three other students at the protestors, effectively ending it.

"You're a peculiar one."

Naruto quickly jumped back and threw 3 kunai behind him. The sound of metal cutting into a log split throughout the training ground. "Where does he keep getting these fucking logs?" Naruto thought to himself. "Where could he be?". Two hands suddenly shot up from the earth. "Underground!" Naruto jumped back dodging the hands. He took out an explosive kunai and channeled chakra into it, activating the seal and tossed it at the ground. A huge explosion rocked the training ground sending Naruto flying into the nearby lake. Climbing out of it he surveyed the landscape. A huge crater, some disturbed wildlife, and definitely some dead gophers but no sign of a silver-haired ninja.

"1st Lesson. Taijutsu" Naruto turned to a fist in his face, sending him across the field. Before he could react Kakashi was already standing next to him. Gathering his strength Naruto rolled back and pushed off, jettisoning himself away from his sensei. Kakashi followed, rushing towards him with his fists drawn.

"2nd Lesson is still Taijutsu." Kakashi uppercutted into Naruto's stomach, sending him flying yet again. Raising his leg, he brought it straight down upon Naruto's back, sending him back into the ground. Slamming into the ground Naruto coughed out blood. "Is that all you've got?" Kakashi asked, poking the prone blonde with his foot.

Naruto rolled over smiling. "Not a chance asshole." Reaching into his jacket he took out a orange canister and threw it at Kakashi's face. Rolling back yet again, he pushed himself up and away from Kakashi's vicinity. "EAT SHIT DOUCHEBAG!" He yelled, pressing a button hidden within his labcoat.

The canister transformed itself in mid-air, becoming some armored mechanical being. Throwing what looked like it's fist up, it punched Kakashi in the chest, knocking him backwards. "What the fuck?" Kakashi thought, gathering himself. Taking a closer look he couldn't believe what he was seeing.

Naruto stood behind what looked like an orange robot. It's entire body was plated with a dull grey armor that Naruto had tried to paint orange except for it's face. It's most impressive feature were the robot's arms. Attached to probably the skinniest longest pair of arms a robot could have was two large glowing orange fists. Setting it's fists on the ground made it look like a skinny gorilla.

"Kakashi-sensei meet my first Chakrobot, K'nuckles." The robot took a bow. Naruto pushed an earpiece within his ear. "K'nuckles is a robot that runs on the chakra that you and I have! He runs on a chakra battery of 5 hours, and recharging him is a breeze. All you need to do to control him is put this thing your ear and think hard enough! May soon be available in a store near you!" Naruto pointed towards Kakashi, "Sic him boy!"

The orange robot raised its orange fist and extended its arm, sending it's fist flying towards Kakashi. "Extendo-arms?" Kakashi thought as he bent over backwards, dodging the fist-missile. Grabbing the robot's arm, he pulled downward bringing the robot's face first into the ground. Suddenly a blue flip-flop entered his field of vision. Raising his other arm, he grabbed Naruto's leg. Using his momentum against him, Kakashi reversed him and threw him towards his robot. Naruto crashed into his robot, causing the extendable arms to suddenly go haywire. Naruto was soon trapped underneath a huge tangle of cables.

"Well looks like I've given you all enough time." Kakashi said, looking at his watch, "Lets get the rest of the team over here.".

As Naruto trudged out of the training ground, he wondered to himself what in the hell had just happened. Kakashi had passed them because Sakura had cried when she saw the body-less head of Sasuke. According to Kakashi that had been a "overwhelmingly emotional showing of teamwork that had to be praised and rewarded". Shrugging at his dumb luck he made his way back towards the Hokage tower. "Time to read some more of that research…"

Sakura woke up to the sound of cards. She sat up. Three Naruto's, Kakashi and Sasuke were sitting in a circle playing cards and using kunai as betting chips. One Naruto had on a monocle and was smoking a pipe. "Jolly be me old chaps, the pinkie has awoken!" Foreign Naruto blew a puff of smoke out of his pipe and turned back towards his cards. "Blimey it seems I've got nothing! All in!" Foreign Naruto pushed all of his last remaining kunai into the middle of the circle.

Sasuke smirked, nothing could beat his hand. It was all black and red, his favorite colors. He was for sure going to win this game. "Hn." He said coolly, and pushed all of his kunai into the circle as well.

The other two Naruto's looked at one another and both pushed their Kunais into the circle. All of them stared at Kakashi. Kakashi looked at his hand. He looked back at them. Then at his hand. Then back at them. He pushed all of his kunai into the pile as well.

"Show."

All 5 of them flipped their cards. Both Naruto's had 5 three of hearts and a Joker. Sasuke had a mixture of Spades and Hearts that didn't make sense. Kakashi had a fifteen on one of his cards. Foreign Naruto held up a card that merely said fish n' chips.

"Go Fish sirs". The other 4 sighed. Sasuke threw his cards down in anger. Kakashi fumed. One of the Naruto's took a kunai and stabbed Foreign Naruto, poofing him out of existence. He then threw the kunai towards the other Naruto, sticking it in it's gut. That one did not go poof.

"AW FUCK!" the real Naruto clutched at his stomach where the kunai had gone in. "FUCKING DUMBASS CLONE!" He pulled out the kunai and threw it into his other clone's head, poofing it too.

Sakura sighed in desperation. "I'm too young for this shit."

Author's Note: Sorry for the long flashbacks, trying to set up the story. Please read and review! Let me know what you think! Thanks for reading guys!