A/N: So it only took me a century, but I'm finally posting the next (and possibly last? Depends on you guys) chapter of this fic that I adore so much. I know, I know - you're wondering why it took me so long to update if I love it so much. Well I got a job that was pretty time consuming...but there really is no excuse. Hopefully I've made it up to you...if not feel free to gripe in a review and I'm sure we can work something out
"Look, uhm, there's something I've been wanting to tell you for a while now," Dean began as he took a seat next to Cas on Charlie's bed. He felt like the most awkward creature alive as he fumbled over his painfully vague words and stared down at his hands instead of looking at Cas.
"I still don't really know how to get it out but I…" Dean trailed off, now casting his gaze towards the ceiling as if some sort of confidence booster might be hidden among the plaster. Or at least one of those "you can do it!" kitten posters; Dean could use whatever kind of help he could get right now.
"Dammit Cas, I've imagined telling you this a thousand different ways but now that I'm here I just can't get it out and I feel like an ass but I-"
Dean's was interrupted by a sudden, warm, and incredibly enjoyable pressure against his mouth.
Yes, Cas had kissed him. Firm but gentle, not too insistent but making sure his intentions were clearly read. And it was the bravest thing Cas had ever done.
But the angel was just so tired of waiting. And having Dean right here in front of him, so close and on the brink of something wonderful...he couldn't help but finally take action. As terrifying and irrevocable as it was, Cas felt a giddy excitement at the thought that he'd finally "made a move" (as Charlie would say) on Dean Winchester.
Dean sat frozen for a full three seconds before he realized that this was not yet another one of his hundreds of waking fantasies that involved Cas's perfect mouth against his. This was real. This was happening. Holy shit.
Cas was kissing him.
Well fuck. It was about time he did something about it.
Cas smiled to himself as Dean finally reacted, the other man's hand reaching up to cup the back of Cas's neck. Cas could feel him finally starting to relax as Dean slid his fingers up into Cas's hair, rubbing in small soothing circles as his lips brushed and caressed against his.
Cas knew that above all else, this is what he'd spent an eternity searching for; this was home.
But although Dean had struggled with articulating his feelings, there were still a few things Cas wanted to say. He broke the kiss slowly, reaching up to cup Dean's face in his hands and remaining close enough to still feel his breath on his face.
"I've only known you for a few years, but you are what I've spent millennia in search of. You are that ache my heart spent centuries yearning for," Cas blurted. He hadn't really planned on starting off with such a profound statement, but there was no denying its validity.
He knew Dean would have absolutely no response for such an utterance, and so Cas merely decided to continue spouting profound praise.
"Every fiber of my celestial being lives and breathes for you," Cas told him, his voice growing raw with emotion the more he talked. His fingers absently traced the scratchy early morning stubble on Dean's jaw, touching and rubbing into the areas he'd spent countless hours fantasizing about, thinking he'd never get the opportunity to make his dreams a reality. But now here he was, holding the man dearest to his heart out of all creation. Since the beginning of human existence no man had ever been loved as much as Dean Winchester was by his onesie-wearing angel.
"You have to at least respond in some manner," Cas said with a smile after a long stretch of comfortable silence, the two of them merely continuing to hold each other.
But instead of offering a verbal reply, Dean pushed forward and kissed Cas, this time desperate and needy. Because Dean was afraid-terribly and perhaps even inconsolably petrified. He'd spent years pining and waiting and wanting and needing, but now that he finally had what he'd been after for so long...he wasn't sure he could handle it.
Dean wasn't used to having his dreams come true-at least not for long. Good things didn't happen to him; an upturn in his luck was only ever a trick or a short lived vacation from the harsh reality that was his life.
Immediately aware that something was wrong, Cas pulled away and looked Dean square in the face, staring into a world of pain and confusion. Dean looked ready to cry, his hand on his chest and his brow creased in very apparent anguish.
"Are you alright?" Cas inquired, his voice filled with concern, and Dean shook his head like a child who'd just scraped his knee.
"I'm terrified," Dean admitted, his voice breaking on the last syllable. "Terrified of what this will do to me," he elaborated in a pained voice. Cas looked as if he was about to assure Dean that he would never harm or endanger him, but Dean already knew all that. He knew Cas only had and only ever would have his best interest in mind.
"It's not about you doing anything to hurt me… it's…" Dean trailed off with a huff, running a hand over his face in obvious discomfort. "I've lost you twice now, and I just...every time it kills me inside, honestly destroys every ounce of life left in me," Dean confided, his voice thick with tears now. He gripped the back of Cas's neck with a bit more force, nothing uncomfortable but a certain sign of his distress.
"When the Leviathans took you, when I lost you in Purgatory…" Dean's speech had grown tight. "My heart shattered because you were the only thing holding it together. And I don't know if I can go through that pain again," he admitted.
In other words, Dean realized, he was being a coward. But coming to terms with his lack of courage didn't make it any easier to deal with.
Cas pulled Dean's hand away from his chest and placed two of his own hands there instead, pressing warm over his heart and leaning down to place a kiss on the spot through the fabric. He then nuzzled up into Dean's neck, warm and soft and perfect.
"I'll do everything in my power to make sure you never hurt again, Dean Winchester," Cas promised. "I'll never leave you again."
Dean let out a deep sigh, releasing all his fears and worries, and even insecurities, in one long breath. He wrapped his arms around Cas and pulled him closer, placing a kiss on the angels' forehead. Dean absolutely adored it whenever Cas said his full name like that. Like it was an oath so strong he wouldn't dare break it. Like it was a covenant of the highest sanctity. Like it was a profession of the deepest and most unyielding love.
Dean squeezed his arms a little tighter around Cas, silently pleading for more contact, and Cas looked up at him with a knowing smile before he began kissing up and down his neck.
"You are my everything," Dean breathed without even thinking. And saying the words aloud, the phrase he'd turned over in his mind a million times but never vocalized, didn't feel odd in the slightest. Because it was the most fundamental truth he knew.
And then Cas was kissing him again,the angel's hands pushing up his chest to wrap around his shoulders and pull their bodies closer together. He could feel Dean's fingers in his hair again, the hunter's other hand running up and down his back, tracing patterns and rubbing soothing circles. Cas pushed closer against him, wanting to meld their bodies together and completely eradicate the distance between them. He wanted Dean entirely to himself, to finally lay claim to the man who'd evaded his grasp for so long.
But as the kiss grew more heated, Dean pulled away and reminded the angel that it probably wasn't the best idea to get too rough and rowdy in Charlie's bed. Cas agreed, and after taking a moment to straighten themselves out, they decided to go and tell the others the good news.
The two climbed up from the bed before clasping hands, and Dean pressed one last kiss on Cas's lips just because he could. Cas felt as if his face was stuck in a permanent smile, and he figured the same must be true for Dean as they grinned at each other like the lovesick idiots they truly were.
"Ready?" Dean asked as they stood in the doorway of the living room. They could hear Charlie, Sam, and Kevin camped out on the floor among the chairs and couches, like an anxious audience awaiting opening night of the season's newest hit musical.
"I've been ready for years," Cas admitted, still grinning like crazy, and Dean leaned over to peck a kiss on his cheek, yes, once again, because he could. And so the two of them entered from stage left holding hands, and they received a standing ovation from Sam, accompanied by rancorous cheering, hooting, and whistling from Charlie and Kevin.
Then a chant of "Kiss! Kiss! Kiss!" rose up from the crowd. And so Dean pulled Cas into his arms and gave a kiss Clark Gable would have admired, dipping him with a dramatic flair like the bleeding heart romantic they'd always known he was.
A/N: Hope you guys liked it! And while this does make a pretty cute ending, I've kind of fallen in love with this universe, so I'd definitely want to keep writing. Let me know what you guys want to see and maybe we'll continue this story with oneshots!