Chapter 5: Guess what

What Miguel didn't know was that when James took the gun from him earlier in the book, he unloaded it. What James didn't know except now he did because he just figured it out was that Claire was secretly working for Miguel the whole time. The part where she flirted with him at the airport at the beginning was just a ruse.

"Claire! How could you?" James asked with his suave British accent.

"I'm sorry," she started to respond, "but I had no choice. Miguel is the most powerful villain in the whole world and if I didn't do what he said he was gonna kidnap my grandma. In fact, he already did and he was holding her hostage."

"Shut the heck up, gosh darnit!" interrupted Miguel. "I don't want to hear your life story!"

"What are you gonna do about it?" James taunted.

Miguel answered by pulling the trigger of the pistol he was holding, but it wasn't a very loud answer because it didn't have bullets.

"What have you done!?" said Miguel. "No matter, I can get you anyway." And then he used a lasso to grab James Bond and tied him to a table with a laser pointed at it. "When the timer next to the laser reaches zero, the laser will start going up, and then you only have ten seconds to escape before it slices you in half. I was gonna use a circular saw but lasers are cooler."

The timer started counting down and it started from six minutes and 33 seconds. Miguel thought it was too long so he reset it for only two minutes and 33 seconds. James started struggling, but he couldn't escape from the lasso that had him bound up and tied up to a table with a laser attached to the top that was pointed at it and going to point at him, but the laser wasn't on yet.

"You have no chance to survive this time," said Miguel as he also laughed the most evil laugh in history. "Your life belongs to me!" And then he laughed some more. It was such a bad laugh that a baby started crying in a different room of the hotel downstairs at the second floor.

"Ah, but you see I am the greatest secret agent ever," retorted James Bond, and he really was. "For you see, I already have an escape plan. Claire isn't really a bad guy and that means I can still trust her. That is why she is sneaking up behind you right now!"

At that very moment, Claire pulled a potato sack over Miguel's head and then all of a sudden Miguel couldn't see anymore.

"Curse you, James Bond!" shouted Miguel from the top of both of his lungs. It was really loud.

Claire knew she had to let James go, so she went where he was. Now there was 30 seconds left on the timer. She got to the part where the lasso was tied in a knot but she couldn't untie the knot. Miguel had been a boy scout when he grew up so he knew how to tie a perfect knot that nobody in the world could untie. He had also welded it just in case, so even the best knot untier couldn't untie it. So James said, "It's okay, we can cut open this later. Right now you have to focus first and foremost on turning off the laser. The controls should be connected to the laser or the timer somehow, find where they are."

Then Clair looked at James and then she looked at the timer and then she looked at the laser and then she looked at the wiring in between and then she looked at the control panel that was connected to all of them. "Oh no!" she explained. "I don't speak Spanish! I can't read which button says to turn off the timer!"

"Fear not, m'lady, for I studied Spanish. Read me the button names in Spanish and I will translate them for you."

She tried to read them but she couldn't even pronounce them, so James couldn't understand what she was saying and he couldn't translate them.

Now they were in quite the dilemma. By the way it was raining outside and there was a thunderstorm. I should've mentioned this earlier because it's important.

All of a sudden there was a giant strike of lightning and a big flash from out the window and a loud "kaboom" noise and if you were scared of storms you would definitely be scared of them. But there was also a smell of smoke and a fizzle and the lights turned off. It turned out that the lightning strike hit the power generator for the whole hotel, and all the power went out. This included the most important thing for Miguel's plan: the laser. So now the laser was not working and the timer was not timing and James and Claire could take as long as they needed until the power went back on.

Claire reached into James' pocket and pulled out his pocket knife that was serrated so that it could cut ropes better. Then she opened it and she tried to cut the rope but she couldn't.

Miguel pulled the potato sack off from on top of his head and said something. He said, "I made this lasso extra special. It's entirely cutproof. You can't cut it with even the sharpest knife in the world. You know Ishikawa Goemon XIII from those Lupin the Third animes? Even his sword which is so sharp it can cut bullets can't cut this rope. It's made out of a special nylon titanium alloy hybrid so it stretches and has flexibility like a rope but uncuttability like the most uncuttable thing in the whole world.

Claire understood that she had to defeat Miguel and save James Bond before the power came back on, because then the laser timer would restart. If that happened, it was quite the possibility that the timer would run out of time and then James would become murdered by laserburn. The first thing she did was put the potato sack back on Miguel's head but this time she also threw him off the balcony. He survived just in case I need him for the sequel.

"CLAIRE!" shouted James even louder than before when Miguel was shouting. "YOU HAVE TO BURN THE ROPE!"

So Claire pulled the lighter out of James' pocket, even though he's not a smoker but he keeps a lighter so he can light other things, and used it to burn the rope. All of a sudden some science happened which made the titanium and the nylon separate, and the titanium melted off to the floor and then she was able to cut the part where she burned and it came right open and James escaped out of the bad guy trap he was in.

"Thank you Claire, I owe you my life," said James thankfully. "How ever shall I repay you?"

"Same ol' James Bond, always still the best flirter there is," giggled Claire with a laugh as sweet as butter.

Then James had an idea. "I shall marry you. We shall go back to England and be wed, and you might make a pretty good 00 agent so I'll give you a recommendation to my boss in London in charge of all the English spies if you want to leave your dead-end job as an airport cashier."

"Oh thank you!" shouted Claire with the sound of some glee in her voice, and also some regular joy. "I cannot wait!"

So they went back to England and they got married and Claire became the second-best secret agent in the world after she got some training and some gadgets and some equipment, and she had her own mahogany desk at the secret agent HQ. And after a few years they had two kids and named them Juni and Carmen.

The End.