A/N – So I owe my readers a major apology and explanation.

I'm so sorry that I haven't updated in forever. I have no excuses except that I got sick of this story and didn't feel like working on it. I now forced myself to get back to it and have edited all the previous chapters, which was why you got a notice that the story was updated. I would suggest that you go back and read them, Chapter 3, at least, because there are some new scenes.

Once again, I'm so sorry that I'm taking so long with updates and I hope you're all enjoying the story.

Chapter 5

When Lucy came downstairs, she found that there was an animated conversation taking place in the sitting room. She had managed to escape the worst of the rain with Felton earlier, but Miss Jane Bennet had not been so lucky.

"Miss Bennet, I absolutely insist," Charles was saying. "You are in no condition to be moved at all, much less travel all the way till Longbourne. We will send word to your family as soon as we can, but you must stay here until your health improves. I will send for a doctor at once."

Lucy frowned at Miss Bennet, who was sitting wrapped up in blankets and looking decidedly ill. Her delicate frame was shivering and her face was as white as a ghost. No wonder Mrs. Bennet thought Lucy to be coarse and brown, if this was what a little rain did to her frail daughters. "Mr. Bingley, that's very kind of you, but I do not wish to impose upon-"

"Oh! Impose!" Caroline cried. "Look how sickly the poor girl is and still she thinks of us. You mustn't worry about imposing upon us at all, dear, at least not until you are better. I have asked the maid to prepare a room for you already. There is no doubt of your staying."

"That is… that is very kind," Jane whispered. Louisa smiled at her and helped her wrap the blankets more tightly around herself.

Lucy turned away, disinterested. Her siblings were perfectly capable of playing the wonderful hosts; Lucy's presence was not required there. She was certain that despite Caroline's flowery words, her sister was wondering how foolish this Jane Bennet must be to ride all the way here in the rain on horseback. Surely she would express her views later, when the woman in question was not in the room.

Mr. Darcy was sitting alone on the other side of the parlor, reading a book and occasionally lifting his eyes to watch Lucy's siblings fawn over Jane Bennet. Deciding that his company seemed far more pleasurable, Lucy picked up a book of her own and took a seat near him.

"Good evening, Mr. Darcy. May I join you?"

"You certainly may," Mr. Darcy replied. "Did you have a nice ride this afternoon? I see you did not get caught in the rain as our unfortunate Miss Bennet did."

"No, I did not. Felton ensured I was back indoors before the worst of the rain started. Had it not been for him, I might have gotten just as wet as Miss Bennet; though perhaps not as ill."

Mr. Darcy's lip curled. "Well, yes. It was quite clear that it was going to rain; I wonder Miss Bennet did not notice the clouds. I suppose it was lucky that you had Felton with you."

"Indeed. He is very clever." Lucy shifted in her seat slightly, wondering if it was appropriate to broach the subject with Mr. Darcy. But her curiosity was too far gone to allow her to stop. "And he makes for very pleasant conversation. Once would almost think he was educated, is that not odd?"

Mr. Darcy had been watching as Charles hurried out of the room to call for a doctor, but he turned to look at Lucy as she finished her question. "It is odd indeed. I remember the man who showed your brother Netherfield saying something about Andrew Felton. Some scandal, though I cannot remember what it was."

Lucy sat up straight. So was the story about his getting a woman with child true, then? "Can't you remember anything, Mr. Darcy?"

"Not with clarity. But yes, I believe he was cheated out of a large inheritance by some member of his family. A brother, perhaps? No, it was an uncle. Anyway, the man was all praise for Felton, saying that he had dealt with all the misfortunes of his life admirably well."

"Oh. That is rather inspiring."

Mr. Darcy nodded. A maid had arrived and was helping Miss Bennet upstairs to the rooms that had been prepared for her. Caroline called for Lucy to help and she was forced to take her leave of Mr. Darcy, regretting that she could not obtain more information from him.

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"Is that Miss Bennet's horse?" Lucy asked curiously, noticing the new addition to the stables. Felton nodded as he dragged a heavy pail into the stall. His arms flexed from the weight and Lucy found the sight momentarily distracting. She forced herself to look away and into his eyes.

"Yes, it is," Felton replied, straightening up once he set the pail down. "She was quite soaked through, yesterday. I wonder that people don't consider their horses' well-being before they set off into the pouring rain."

Lucy gave him a sad smile. "I apologize if this has caused extra work for you, Felton. I know you work hard enough and now you must take care of an extra horse until Miss Bennet recovers. I suppose it's just as well that Miss Elizabeth Bennet chose to walk over here in the morning rather than bring another horse."

Felton looked up, amused. "Did she, now? I can't imagine what an uproar that must have caused; the roads are caked with mud from the rain. But it surprises me that you worry about my workload, Miss Lucy. I'll have you know that I get paid good money for what I do, and I enjoy it."

"Do you?" Lucy asked thoughtfully.

"Enjoy it?"

"Get paid good money."

Felton paused in reaching for a brush and smiled at her. "Perhaps not by your standards, Miss Lucy. But your brother is generous and I earn enough to support myself. I've never had to worry about money since I came to Netherfield."

Lucy frowned, tired of his cryptic answers. She wondered if she would ever find out what kind of a life Felton led before he became a groom, and whether or not he truly had a large inheritance as so many rumors suggested. "And before you came to Netherfield? Did you ever struggle before then?"

"I've been luckier than most."

"Yes, you've said that before," Lucy muttered, sounding irritated. "But what does it mean?"

"Perhaps it means that you have more important things to do than pry into my past. It is almost lunchtime. Should you not be returning indoors?" Felton asked lightly.

Lucy stood from the upturned crate she had been sitting on and gave Felton a determined look. "I shall find out your secrets one day, Andrew Felton. You cannot keep them from me forever!"

Felton laughed. "And I wish you good luck with that."

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Lucy spent much of her evening sitting downstairs with her family and Mr. Darcy, listening to her sisters abuse Miss Elizabeth. The topic gave her little pleasure; Elizabeth Bennet was not the first woman that the elder Bingley sisters spoke of in this manner and she would not be the last.

Instead, Lucy sat quietly in a corner, holding a book in front of her. But she had no idea what she was reading, for she was looking out of the window and watching Felton and Thomas close the stables for the night. Their figures were somewhat shadowy in the dark but Felton looked up and made eye contact with Lucy through the window. He waved at her with a smile and Lucy, blushing, waved back.

"Lucy, what are you doing?" Caroline asked sharply. She was in a terrible mood and she frowned down at her sister. "Don't gaze out of the window with that dreamy expression, you look rather foolish."

"I apologize," Lucy muttered, while Charles gave her a kind smile.

"It's all right, Caroline. I suppose she must be missing Duchess. That window looks out onto the stables, you know," Charles explained.

"And what is there to miss?" Caroline demanded. "Charles, your youngest sister spends her entire day with those horses in those disgusting stables. She never interacts with society- not that the society in Hertfordshire is particularly worth interacting with, but it is decidedly better than spending her days with those animals! Are you not concerned for her well-being?"

Charles smiled weakly. "You must admit, Caroline, she seems much happier than she ever did in London. And the riding can only be good for her health-"

"Health? Look at how brown and coarse she has become! How will we ever take her back to the city for the season? You are ruining your sister's prospects, Charles. Imagine when someone asks of her accomplishments and all we can say of her is that she is a good horsewoman! What shame! Very soon she shall have nothing to recommend her over the likes of Elizabeth Bennet but her fortune!"

Anger bubbled up inside of Lucy. Glaring at her sister, she dropped her book onto a nearby table and stood up. "Excuse me," she mumbled, hurrying out of the room before she said something that she could not take back.

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When Felton opened the door to his cottage later that evening, he did not expect to see Miss Lucy Bingley, wrapped up in a cloak and shaking. Thinking that she must be shivering from cold, he quickly opened the door and ushered her inside.

"Miss Lucy! Are you well? Is everything all right?"

Lucy frowned and shook her head. Her body was trembling; whether from cold or rage she did not know. She looked up at Felton and saw worry reflected in his dark brown eyes. Lucy wasn't sure whether to feel angry or comforted. How was it that a groom seemed to care more for her than her own family? "I-I am fine," she whispered. "I simply… I simply couldn't stay in the house any longer but it was so cold outside that I-"

"You mustn't stand in the doorway," Felton replied, taking Lucy by the arm and leading her further into the small cottage before closing the front door and shutting out the draft. There was a small fireplace in the next room and Lucy stood and watched Felton as he hurried to light it. She removed the cloak from around her shoulders slowly.

"It may take a few minutes to warm up," Felton said apologetically as he got the fire started. Stepping away from it, he turned and took the cloak from Lucy. "Miss Lucy, you are shaking terribly. May I?"

Lucy nodded though she did not know what he was asking permission for. Before she could respond, Felton wrapped his arms around her and held her tightly to control her shivering. Lucy sank into his warmth and tight embrace. She pressed her face into his shoulder and inhaled the smell of fresh hay while trying to hold in her tears. Her mind raced as she wondered whether what they were doing was appropriate. But what did it matter, when it made her feel so good?

"Do you feel better?" Felton asked slowly, once she had stopped shaking in his arms. He was reluctant to let her go; she had fit so perfectly into him. But she lifted her head from his shoulders and looked up, green eyes nodding miserably. "Miss Lucy?"

"I-I'm sorry," she whispered. "I do not know why I came here, I just… My sister was saying all these terrible things and I became so angry, I…"

"It is all right," Felton assured her calmly. Keeping an arm around her shoulders, he led her closer to the fire and pulled a pair of stools toward them so that they could sit. She sat but stayed close to him; it was no longer about the warmth, Lucy simply wanted to be near him. She could feel his fingers on her bare arm and hoped that he would keep them there. "What did your sister say?"

"She was wrong," Lucy whispered. "I love Duchess, but that's not why I come down to the stables every day. I come down to the stables to see you. I can spend the entire day watching you work and not feel bored. Out of all the men I have ever met, Felton, none of them has ever inspired such feelings in me and I know that you must hold me in a similar regard because I see they way you smile and look at me. I wanted to speak to you tonight, because I-"

"Please," Felton muttered. Lucy paused and looked up at him; his eyes were inches away from hers and full of pain. "Please, Lucy, stop. Say nothing more."

"What?"

"Once you say these words, they cannot be unsaid," he replied. He turned his brown eyes away from her, unable to hold her gaze. "I will escort you back to your home. Perhaps it is better if we forgot that you came here tonight-"

'I do not wish to forget!" Lucy replied angrily. "You may stop me from saying these words but that cannot change how I feel! I came here because I know that you care about me, that you love me-"

"What we feel does not matter!" Felton's tone was sharp. "If someone gained knowledge of your coming here, if your siblings found out about-"

"I never took you for a coward, Felton," Lucy retorted.

"I am not a coward. I am trying to be prudent, trying to prevent you from making a mistake that could ruin your life, Lucy! If you think I fear for myself, then you are wrong. I have nothing left to lose. I am trying to prevent the dangerous consequences of your childish and thoughtless behavior. Please, leave. Do not test my self-control, it is weak."

Lucy felt tears brimming in her eyes. "If you believe that what you are doing is for my benefit, then you are wrong. Felton, please don't ask me to leave. I am not a child. I know the consequences of what I am doing; I have come here irrespective of them."

Felton closed his eyes. "Miss Lucy, please. I do not know what you hope to achieve by speaking those words aloud, but I assure you that nothing good can come of it. Allow me to silence this matter between us forever."

Lucy was silent for a long while, tears escaping from her eyes. She looked at the pain on Felton's face and felt her heart break. He was only trying to protect her. Why could he not understand it was not his protection she needed, but his affections? He looked up at her with torn brown eyes, pleading her to go before his resolve broke. "I will leave," Lucy whispered. "Is that what you truly want? For me to leave?"

"Things have gone too far. We have no other option."

Lucy nodded, her feeling her throat choke up. "Will you not say it once before I go? Felton, please. You have asked me to remain silent, now I am asking you to speak."

Felton stepped forward and took her hand in his, closing his eyes. "Lucy, I love you. And I would be a poor lover indeed if I attempted to steal you away for myself, knowing that I cannot provide you with what you deserve. I am not the right man for you, Lucy. Now you must go. Please, leave."

And with that, Felton closed the door and broke Lucy's heart in one swift move.

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