Chapter 6
"Lucy, unwell?" Caroline asked in surprise. She frowned at the maid. "Good heavens, what can you mean? My younger sister has not fallen ill once since the day she was born. Mother always said she had the constitution of an ox. You cannot be telling the truth."
The maid bowed. "Miss Lucy wished me to tell you that she was not feeling well enough to come to breakfast. She did not wish for food to be brought to her room either."
Louisa looked equally startled. "This is quite unexpected. Do you think she could have caught the fever from Miss Jane Bennet, Caroline? What a terrible thing- to extend our hospitality to Miss Bennet and have our own sister catch the illness from her!"
"Do not be silly, Louisa," reprimanded Caroline. "Lucy has not been anywhere near Miss Bennet. If her own sister, who has sat beside her day and night has not caught the illness, then why should our dear Lucy? It must be something else."
There was a short pause at the breakfast table, following which Charles set down his knife and fork and stood up. He received surprised looks from both of his sisters. "Charles, you have not eaten!"
"I think I will go see Lucy and ask after her health. Sitting here and musing about what could be wrong with her will neither give us answers nor help her in any manner. I will only be a few minutes," he replied. He paused and turned back to look at Caroline. "Although, I have a strong feeling that her illness is not one of the body .She was terribly hurt by what you said to her last evening, Caroline. I hope you know this."
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To the astonishment of the entire family, the Bingleys found themselves with not one, but two bed-ridden young women in the house. When Lucy refused to speak of what was ailing her, the doctor was summoned. He could not find anything wrong on initial examination, but upon being told that she was a horsewoman, determined that it must simply be exhaustion and recommended she stay in bed for as long as required. This diagnosis suited everyone very well- and so it was settled.
Caroline and Louisa sat with Lucy every evening- more out of their need to gossip about the Bennet family than any concern for Lucy's health. She quietly sat and listened to them abuse Mrs. Bennet and her daughters while she stared out of the window and watched Felton and Thomas exercise the horses. It was painful; sometimes when Felton was calling across the field to one of the other stable boys, his strong, familiar voice would carry up to her window and she would feel a pang in her heart.
"Lucy? Are you even listening to what we are saying?" Caroline asked. "Good heavens, dear, you look far too ill. That doctor is a fool; there must be something wrong with you besides mere exhaustion."
"I am well, Caroline," Lucy told her softly. "I am merely feeling out of spirits. Do continue telling me what Mrs. Bennet said to you when she came to visit today."
"Well, perhaps this will raise your spirits. Charles is determined to throw a ball here at Netherfield. Is that not delightful? It's a pity that he will have to invite the entire Bennet family and many of the other unbearable residents of this place, but I believe we may enjoy ourselves all the same. It will be an occasion for you to wear that beautiful blue silk we brought from London, do you remember?"
Lucy was saved from having to respond by a knock on the door. Emma, the maid, entered the room with a tray in her arms. "Pardon me, madam. It is time for Miss Lucy's dinner."
Louisa and Caroline both kissed Lucy on the cheek and told her to improve her health soon so she could enjoy the ball. Once they had left, Emma walked further in and set the tray on a table.
"I do not have an appetite today, Emma," Lucy mumbled.
"Oh, but Miss Lucy, you must eat! You have hardly eaten in days and everyone is so worried about your health!" Emma insisted. "Look, the cook has made a special chicken broth for you, she asked me to ensure that you ate it. And when I told Felton that you had been in bed for days, he was so terribly upset, that-"
Lucy turned sharply at the mention of Felton. "I will thank you not to discuss my personal matters with the grooms, Emma."
The maid's eyes widened. "Oh, I'm so terribly sorry, miss! I didn't think you would mind, see he asked me how you were, and I supposed it was because you haven't been down to the stables in days. And so I told him that you'd been feeling poorly since the other morning and since you were so terribly kind to him when he was unwell-"
"That's enough," Lucy cut her off. She could not bear to speak of Felton, especially not with the maid. She felt a sudden loathing towards Emma- an unreasonable dislike that stemmed from the fact that this foolish girl could speak to Felton and see him every day while Lucy could not. But she felt ashamed of herself as soon as she looked up and saw that Emma was nearly in tears. "I apologize, Emma, I did not mean to upset you. You've been taking wonderful care of me. I would prefer to eat alone, if you don't mind."
Emma nodded, looking a little more relieved and exited the room quickly. Lucy pushed the bedcovers off herself and walked over to the window. She could see Felton and Thomas carrying buckets back towards the stables. Thomas held one in each hand, while Felton carried one only with his left arm. Squinting and leaning closer, she could see that a white bandage was wrapped around his right hand. Worried, she followed the two figures with her eyes until they went into the stables and disappeared from sight.
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"Oh, Lucy, you simply must join me for a walk," Caroline declared. She had gone to great lengths to drag an unwilling Lucy out of bed. "Charles and Mr. Darcy have gone to invite the officers to our ball and Louisa is lying down. I am most dreadfully bored and you could do with the fresh air, you are becoming quite pale."
Lucy felt a sudden burst of irritation. What happened to coarse and brown? she wondered, but chose not to say anything. Lucy did not have the energy or inclination to resist Caroline so she followed her sister out into the gardens of Netherfield for an evening walk. The weather was pleasant and Lucy wanted desperately to ride Duchess. She had never enjoyed walking, but Caroline took no notice of her discomfort. She cheerfully spoke of the upcoming ball.
"I have decided to wear the peach-colored gown that I bought in London. Just a few weeks before we left for Hertfordshire, do you remember, Lucy? Of course, we shall have to wait until we go back to London for new dresses; I doubt we shall find an agreeable dressmaker anywhere in this county."
"Surely not," Lucy muttered. She could not even feign her usual interest in Caroline's words. What was the use of these dresses and balls, what ends did they serve? Perhaps Caroline would say that they gave one a greater chance of finding a good man, a good husband. The idea sickened Lucy. She had found a wonderful man already; the likes of which she would never find in any ball in all of England.
"You look so terribly dull, Lucy, you must keep up your spirits!" Caroline insisted. "Have you tried on that blue silk of yours, to ensure that it fits well? You have lost so much weight after coming here, with all the horse-riding and your exhaustion. We cannot have it hanging off you; you must try it as soon as we go back indoors and if it is loose, we will have it taken in."
Lucy nodded, but she was prevented a reply by the sight of Felton coming down the same pathway as them. Her throat caught; she had not been face-to-face with him since that dreadful night when he had rejected her and sent her away. Lucy's face burned with humiliation. Felton paused for a moment when he approached them, and bowed politely.
"Good day, Miss Bingley, Miss Lucy,"" he greeted.
Caroline smiled at him. "Good day, Felton. You have wonderful timing. I was just speaking of the ball with my sister. I trust you are making the necessary arrangements to receive our guests? We will have a great many carriages and horses being parked here."
"Of course. Mr. Bingley has yet to inform me of the exact number of guests. Once he does, the required arrangements will be made. I assure you that you needn't worry about it, Miss Bingley."
"That's very well. Thank you, Felton."
Lucy hardly heard what they said- she was too busy staring at Felton and how he was speaking politely to her sister. Had he not noticed her presence? Perhaps he did not care. Lucy felt foolish; surely he could not be as affected by her as she was by him. He couldn't have loved her. He only professed his feelings to save her dignity, to spare a young and silly girl of the embarrassment of having fallen for a man below her status that did not return her affections. She swallowed, feeling the beginnings of hot tears forming in her eyes.
"What happened to your hand?" Lucy blurted out quickly, without thinking. His right hand was still bandaged, and she could not prevent herself from wondering what had happened to him.
Felton turned to look at her for the first time, his dark eyes piercing into hers as they always did. He did not speak for a few moments; he merely looked at her, as though he was drinking in the sight of her. Lucy bit her lip, wishing she had not drawn attention to herself. Surely he would notice the glistening of tears in her eyes. Felton did not miss such details. "It was an incident in the stables, Miss Lucy," he replied calmly. "I scraped it on wood and it bled, but it is almost healed. May I- may I enquire after your own health? I had heard that you have been feeling unwell these past days."
Lucy could not reply. She was certain that if she opened her mouth she would burst into uncontrollable sobs and humiliate herself in front of both Felton and her sister. Feeling unwell? She wanted to scream at him. I have not been able to get out of bed because I cannot stop thinking about you!
"It was merely exhaustion," Caroline answered for her after a long and uncomfortable pause. "She is feeling better now; I have determined to bring her into the fresh air. Good day, Felton."
Felton recognized his dismissal and bowed and walked away, his eyes never leaving Lucy's. She turned her head away from him and followed Caroline quickly, further down the path. Her sister watched her curiously. "Lucy, you look terribly ill. Is something wrong?"
Lucy shook her head. She felt a sudden disgust for her surroundings; for Netherfield, for Hertfordshire and for everything else in her life. Things had been much simpler in London. For then, surrounded by concrete roads and stuffy rooms, one was so far away from happiness that it was not even considered. But this; being so close to everything she wanted, yet so far away, was unbearable. Life was taunting her. Everything she wanted was being dangled in front of her face but she could not have it. Lucy was possessed with a sudden desire; to leave Hertfordshire. She wanted to run as far away from here as she could. "Everything is wrong," Lucy whispered miserably. "Caroline, I don't want to live here anymore. I cannot stand Hertfordshire."
Caroline looked at Lucy in bewilderment. "Good heavens, you must certainly be ill! Were you not so excited to come here, so happy that you would get your horses and your fields?"
Lucy bit her lip and looked down at the ground. "I was. But I feel so foolish, now. I thought… I expected something else, I can't…"
There was a long pause and Caroline watched her sister, smiling. "I believe you have finally come to your senses, dear Lucy. You are missing London most terribly and you cannot stand the pitiful society here. I will speak to Charles and Louisa; I believe we have stayed in this disagreeable place long enough, now we must return home."
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A/N – Thank you so much for reviewing! I've got exams going on but I hope to update soon. I have this story all planned out in my head so I will definitely finish it, it just may not be as soon as I'd like.