Disclaimers: POTC isn't mine, nor Norrington and the other characters belonging to this franchise.
A big thank you to all my readers!

Her transition from being a "male" officer of the Navy to a young woman returning to her closest family happened through a great amount of tears shed day and night.

She didn't leave her room, not even when the ship finally weighed anchor three days after her arrival on board. The kind ladies came in turns to see how she felt and to bring her some food that she barely touched.

She'd never thought anything would grieve her that much after the loss of her brother, and yet, it did. 'I wasn't even supposed to have that first chance of sailing the sea, let alone on board of a Navy vessel and becoming an officer. I should be grateful for those moments; it had to end eventually, I should have known… But I had never counted on having such great friends.' She smiled sadly at the thought of Simon, sweet Simon who had died too early. He had been such a great friend.

'And now I've even lost Andrew and Theodore… I promised to write to them though, so there's still a bit of hope that one day we may see each other again, as Theodore firmly believes. But everything would be so different, they would be returning from great journeys at sea, saving ships from pirates, representing His Majesty in faraway cities, and I, I'd be a proper lady, spending my days in a drawing room, having hollow conversations with shallow women… Maybe I'd even be married!' she realised with shock. 'I could never marry anyone. Not when… Oh God, what if my affection for James isn't just a mere fancy but, what if I truly

Am in love with him?'

She rose from her bed and started pacing her small room.

'Can you love someone else when your truest love is at sea? I will live with the heart filled with the image of a ghost, as I will probably never see him again. I have betrayed his trust and our friendship, how could he ever face me again if we had the occasion? He would probably ignore me, and this would break my heart even more than not seeing him.'

She closed her eyes, silent tears rolling down her cheeks. 'I never got the chance of apologising, and he will never know how much his friendship represented to me.'

When she opened her eyes again, her mind was settled. After days of hating herself for crying and lamenting her fate, she decided to get the upper hand over her grief.

'I have to let you go, James. I won't be able to live if I don't let go of my love for you… If we are meant to meet again, then I'll make it up to you; if not… well, I truly hope you will live a happy life with Miss Swann.'

She dried her tears, washed her face, and put on some hideous clothes to please her hosts; she had chosen life over sorrow.

Miles ahead, the general mood in the Captain's quarters weren't as optimistic. James Norrington, after days of brooding, had finally agreed to talk to his friends about the recent events once their dinner was over.

'Actually, I do feel quite relieved to know that Lawrence was a woman' James confessed. 'It clarifies a few things.'

Theodore eyed Andrew, trying his best not to smile too widely at his friend's half confession.

'Clarifies a few things, you say?'

'Well, his-her frailer built for example, and her voice, her knowledge, though that doesn't explain her skill with a sword nor all she knows about warfare…'

'Yes, that too, but also her more delicate face' said Andrew, waiting anxiously for his Captain's answer to that last point.

James frowned at his friend's remark and thought for a few seconds before replying.

'I do admit she has a pretty face and fair eyes. But that is beside the point.'

'Do you miss her?' dared Theodore; he was determined to have his friend confess everything.

'Of course I do, she was a dear friend' he finally said after a moment.

'Oh James, even you have to admit, she was more than a friend…'

'What do you mean, "more than a friend"?' asked Norrington, confused.

Andrew rolled his eyes; his Captain usually was the most astute observer he had ever met, but when it came to feeling, or more precisely, to Lawrence, he was blind and naïve.

'Were the situation different, would you consider marrying her, given all know about her, her loyalty to you? For Heaven's sake, she even looked after you day and night during the whole time of your recovery, and when you were well enough, you never left the other's side… Don't tell me it was mere friendship, not even Theodore nor myself were that present beside you! And we've known you for years when you've known her for barely eight months!'

James opened his mouth then closed it. Such an idea was preposterous, and only now did he realized for how little time he had known her. He thought he had known her years, and had spent almost as much time with her than with Andrew and Theodore. How could it be possible to grow that fond of someone in so little time? James Norrington, with his logical mind, wasn't one to believe in such things as soul mates, so this whole new vision of what he felt confused him deeply.

Seeing that they would get no answer from him tonight, Theodore decided to retire for the night and Andrew left to take his shift at the helm, leaving their friends to his thoughts.

A couple of hours later, when he climbed down the steps of the top deck to go to sleep at the end of his shift, Lieutenant Gillette was surprised to find his Captain on the main deck, leaning over the ridge, contemplating the stars and the dark silk of the sea. He hesitated for a moment then decided to join him for a while, caring not to disturb the silence.

'I do think my feelings for Lawrence are stronger than friendship' James said several minutes later, still watching ahead.

'And indeed, I would have married her had the whole situation been different.'

Andrew was relieved to finally hear those words, but at the same time, he felt a pang of sympathy for his friend.

'Do you forgive her? For hiding the truth…'

'Yes' he said, his voice heavy with regrets. 'It was necessary for her safety, even by concealing from her Captain. Many would have taken advantage of such a situation.'

'You wouldn't have.'

'No' James half-smiled 'But she couldn't take that risk anyway, despite our friendship, and I admire her all the more for that.'

Gillette nodded in agreement, then realised something. He searched his pockets until he found what he was looking for.

'Here' he said, putting Lawrence's black ribbon in his left hand. 'It had fallen off her hair during her altercation with that awful Frenchman. Take it, it's no use to me.'

His eyebrow knitted, he finally looked away from the sea to look at what his friend had given him. He knew it was ridiculous, but he sincerely appreciated Andrew's attention.

'Thank you, Andrew. Maybe one day I will have the occasion of returning it to her…'

Lieutenant Gillette smiled, and headed to his quarters.

'Try to get some rest, James.'

Norrington nodded and stared at the ribbon, he shaped it into a bow and held it in his hand, remembering its owner's shimmering blue-grey eyes and warm smile.

The days passed, and finally, the Dauntless was but two days away from Port Royal. Most of the thoughts of the officers on board had turned around the same subject, Lawrence; however, the closer the got, the more a feeling of unease settled, and none of them dared to say out loud what troubled them. But time was running short, and it had to be discussed.

'James, I need to ask… months ago, did you really talked about, err, your plans of marrying Miss Swann to her father?' Theodore asked hesitantly.

'I did indeed…' Norrington answered with difficulty.

'But didn't you say before that you would ask her father again once back in Port Royal?'

His friend silently answered positively.

'Then maybe there is still a chance, and you won't have to marry her! Unless you do want to marry her…'

'I shall be true to my word, no matter how things have changed since then. If Governor Swann wants me to marry his daughter, I will marry her. Which man wouldn't kill to be in my position? Miss Swann is an accomplished lady of high birth whose beauty is unanimously praised.'

'But James, you don't even know her yet, how could you love her, after…'

Norrington cut his sentence before Andrew had finished.

'It would be very ungrateful of me to refuse such a match. As for love, it will eventually come, and if not, many a wedding have been a great success without involving love.'

'And what about Lawrence!' Groves couldn't take it anymore, his friend's stubbornness, and his careful avoidance of talking about her was too much. Norrington glared at his friend, his jaw clenched.

'There is nothing to say about Lawrence. The feelings I felt towards her when she was still on board were maybe love, but I have cast her out and left her to return to her family. And I even took the precaution of not knowing where she was to go. Plus, her feelings were probably very different from mine, no please let me finish. And if they were not, I'm sure her opinion of me has changed after the coldness of our last encounter. And besides, I highly doubt we will ever meet again, and if we did, she would certainly be married to a rich aristocrat and I to Miss Swann. Now please, if you do care about me, my friends, please, let this be the last time we mention her. I consider ourselves blessed to have had such a friend, if only for a while, but now it is over, the past is in the past.'

It pained him to say those words, but he had to, for his own sake; he was James Norrington, Captain of the HMS Dauntless, and the memory of a girl wouldn't bring him down.

When the Navy ship entered the harbour, all the members of the crew were cheering and eagerly waving to anyone who was waiting for them, even Lieutenant Groves and Lieutenant Gillette were excited to have finally arrived. Their Captain smiled faintly at the enthusiasm around him, his hands clasped behind his back, the outer one clenching a black bow.

The ship safely anchored, all men disembarked to join wherever they were needed. Some went back home with their wife and children, others went together celebrate their safe return in a tavern, Lieutenant Groves went to visit his family, and as for Lieutenant Gillette and Captain Norrington, they went straightaway report their journey to the town hall where they would find Governor Weatherby Swann.

The Governor was overly pleased to see Captain Norrington, and invited him for dinner the very night along with his officer friends if they wished to join them. Lieutenant Gillette accepted the kind offer, curious to witness his friend's behaviour in presence of the Governor's daughter.

Norrington went here and there to make his reports on the journey, the towns and people they had visited, the troubles they had encountered, the losses… Although renowned for his sense of justice and righteousness, he surprised himself by lying about their latest crew member and newly appointed officer, Ensign Reynolds. He hid from the authorities that his Ensign had in fact been a woman running away from her home under the identity of her dead brother. He never said a thing about the misadventure with Governor Duplessier, and reported that his Ensign had left them in Santiago de Cuba to join a family member who was ill. He knew what his lies could cost him, but he nonetheless took the risk, his lost friend deserved it.

NB: Damn, I've just noticed something and now it troubles me, but anyway, I'm gonna ignore it... For the first time ever I'd say, I went to the wikipedia page of James Norrington and... His father is called Lawrence! Had I known before, maybe I would have changed the name of my character (but I love this name way too much, and in French Laurence is a girl's name).

So no worries if there are among you some purists, Admiral Lawrence Norrington won't exist in my story. Unless Lawrence Reynolds marries James, but anyway, she certainly won't ever be Admiral, so...