"You know," Sally said between breaths, "I've never actually been to a bar. This is kind of exciting."
Jack glanced at Sally as they ran down the street, heading for Slimy green corner.
"I'm not surprised. If you've only started drinking tea today, then I couldn't imagine you ever consuming any kind of alcohol."
Sally looked up at Jack with curious eyes.
"What does alcohol taste like, Mister Skellington?"
Jack made a face and shivered in disgust.
"I've only had one drink in my entire life, and it tasted like bitter regret and tears. F that's not important. We're here."
They both came to a stop in front of a street sign that spelled out their destination.
Sally looked around her and shuddered slightly. Slimy green corner was the seediest, darkest, most dirty part of town. The only people that hung around it were drug dealers and perverts.
Sally glanced up at Jack and took small comfort in the fact that he was the scariest person around. At least she had someone who could protect her.
She scooted a bit closer to him.
Jack looked around and spied the bar he was looking for. It was an old, ramshackle building with boarded up windows and a sign missing several letters.
The sign would have read Gordie's, had all the letters been there. However, the g, o, r, and s had all fallen off, leaving only the word die.
"I'm almost more afraid of the cliche` then I am of the bar..." Sally whispered.
"What was that?"
"Nothing sir."
Jack raised an eyebrow at her but dismissed her comment and turned to the doors. They were the kind of doors you saw in old western movies, the kind that swung and didn't have handles. He took a deep breath and adjusted his tie, then pushed the doors open confidently and strutted in.
As soon as he entered the threshold all noise ceased. Every patron turned to look at him as he stood there and surveyed everyone. There was heavy smoke in the air from about a thousand cigarettes, and in the back round a jukebox played classic tunes.
There was an intense silence for several seconds as the drunks, fighters, and sleazebags stared down the well dressed, groomed gentleman that was Jack Skellington.
Jack narrowed his eyes and wrinkled his nose at the dirty drinkers and stench of alcohol.
He gave it a few more seconds for the dramatic silence to soak in, then opened his mouth to address everybody.
"I'm looking for-"
he was cut off by a screech coming from behind him.
He turned just as Sally fell through the swinging doors and face-planted the ground. She lay there for a bit and then pushed herself up with her hands.
"Owww... I didn't think they would open so quickly..." she said painfully.
The entire bar roared in laughter as Jack helped Sally to her feet. He turned back to the patrons to try and be intimidating again, but the moment was ruined. All the drinkers had gone back to their rowdy partying and were completely ignoring him.
Jack sighed and walked over to the bar.
The bartender was a huge, stocky man that was wearing an apron. He had a large scar on his head, as if he had been chopped by a meat cleaver. His eyes were going in two separate directions and his tongue was sticking out the side of his mouth.
Jack waved him over and spoke loudly over the din of noise.
"I need to speak with the owner, is she in?"
The large man scratched his head and pointed towards a door near the back.
"She's ovah there, mistah skinny-man." he said loudly.
Jack nodded in thanks and turned to Sally.
"I'll be right back. you can wait right here, and I'll be back in a minute."
Sally didn't want him to leave her alone, but she just swallowed her complaint and nodded. Jack gave her one last reassuring look before jogging over to the door and going inside.
Sally turned back to the bartender and gulped. He was staring at her intently. She nervously cleared her throat and placed her fingers on the counter.
"Um... you wouldn't happen to have any tea, would you?"
The bartender's eyes widened and he smiled.
"I like bunnies." he said proudly.
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Jack stepped into a dimly lit office with the windows covered by blinds. There was a faint trail of smoke drifting lazily through the air. He looked around until his eyes fell on a desk with a large chair behind it.
The back of the chair was turned to him, but he could see a hand sticking out holding a cigarette.
"Ahem, excuse me, miss?" he said.
The chair swiveled to face him and he had to hold in a gag.
The woman he saw was, without a doubt, the most ugly creature he had ever laid eyes upon. She was wearing a tight fitting green dress that made her look like a tied up pork roast. Her skin was extremely dry and cracked, making it look like she had scales.
She was wearing far too much makeup, which included seaweed-green lipstick, black eyeshadow, and about four pounds of concealer. Her hair was black and dry, with green highlights, and stuck out of her head in certain places like fins.
She looked like a large fish person.
She looked him up and down while taking a drag of her cigarette and smirked.
"Well, hello handsome. What can I do for you?" she said seductively.
Jack grimaced slightly and swallowed the bile in his throat.
"I'm... I'm from town hall. There was a complication and I need to recollect tax papers, miss... uh..."
"Just call me Joan. Joan... whatever your last name is." she purred as she got up to saunter towards him.
Jack took a good step back and began to sweat nervously.
Oh god, what have I gotten myself into?
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Sally casually sipped her pint of tea through a curly straw while her new friend, the bartender, drew pictures of bunnies beside her.
She was constantly looking around, taking everything in. it was such a new experience for her to be in a place like this. Yesterday she never would have imagined that she would be on such an exciting adventure.
And it was all thanks to Jack. She smiled into her pint and giggled as she imagined where they would be going next. If things continued the way they did, it would probably be somewhere just as fun as where they had already gone.
Jack... boy was he a mystery. He was so strange and out of place, but also a true gentleman and sort of charming, in his own unique way. The way he took charge, lead flawlessly, acted so mature...
Sally sighed. It was really no wonder she admired him. After all, he was everything that she wasn't.
Oh well. At least I can drink away my self pity she thought as she took a large swig of her tea. She finished it with a smack of her lips and plopped the glass on the counter.
"Keep 'em coming, Lenny. It's gonna be a long day."
Lenny ran off to make some more tea while Sally sifted through his drawings and admired his artistic skill in bunnies. As she was waiting for him to return she suddenly heard a loud noise coming from outside. It sounded like the roaring of a great beast, and it was followed by several more but significantly quieter roars.
Sally peered out the window to see an enormous motorcycle, sporting an equally enormous man, stop in front of the bar. About a dozen other motorcycles stopped next to him and they all dismounted.
Sally saw the look on the leader's face and new that there was going to be trouble.
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Jack had been fully backed against the door and was standing stiff as a board as Joan the fish woman let her unkempt fingernails dance across his arm.
It took all his willpower not to bolt, and he tried to hold in his lunch as much as possible.
"Miss Joan, please, the papers..." he hissed desperately.
"Hmmm..." she cooed in his ear, "You really want them? Alright. Wait right here."
Jack let out the breath he was holding when Joan finally released him and swayed over to a filing cabinet near her desk. She bent down and slowly opened the drawer as if teasing him.
When she finally located the paperwork she she brought it over to him with a smile. She handed it to him while taking another hit at her cigarette.
"There ya go, hon. I suppose that's all you came for?" she said.
"Yes. Thank you." Jack said, trying to finish things as quickly as possible.
He turned to leave but couldn't escape one last input from Joan.
"And hon, if you ever happen to be in the neighborhood," she said as she placed a hand on his butt and squeezed, "come visit me. I'll treat you real well."
Jack squeaked audibly and left Joan laughing as he near sprinted out the door.
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Sally sat shivering in her chair as the biker and his gang entered the bar.
The largest one, as far as she could tell, was the leader. His eyes were dark and his mouth was wide, permanently twisted into an evil grin. He had on a mucus colored leather jacked and black leather boots. He also had a strange helmet. Instead of the traditional dome design, it was pointed like a cone and drooped downwards.
His gang members were wearing similar outfits, with the exception of three teenagers that wore their own unique outfits and hung around him like little flies.
The bar got quiet again, but unlike with Jack and Sally the noise didn't really start up again.
Sally tried to look as small as possible. There was something about the new patron that just put fear in her. She kept her head down and tried to control the shaking of her own hands.
"What in the world is she drinking?"
"That don't look like beer!"
"She some kinda prude?"
Sally froze as three voices suddenly hit her ears. Turning up slightly, she saw that the three teens were all standing around her with wicked grins on their faces.
"What are you drinking, ugly?" the first boy said.
"W-what?" she responded nervously.
"We wanna know what you're drinking, stupid. That's what he said." the second boy said.
"I wouldn't bother asking her." the last one, a girl said with a smirk. "she's probably too stupid to answer you two boneheads anyway."
"Who you callin' bonehead?" the first one said angrily.
"I'm callin' you a bonehead, bonehead."
"Shut up!"
"Make me!"
"Lock! Shock! Barrel! Quit bothering the lady." the biker leader boomed over their squabbling.
Sally was almost grateful to the scary biker man until she saw the devious look on his face.
"... After all, that's my job." he growled dangerously as he stomped over to Sally.
Sally remained frozen as the biker sat down in the seat next to her and looked her up and down. She wanted to cover herself away from his greedy eyes, but her limbs were immobile.
The biker finished his analysis and smirked.
"Well, howdy little lady. What is a fine little thing like you doing in a place like this?"
She swallowed and struggled to talk.
"... Work." she said quietly.
The scary man scooted closer and draped his uninvited arm over her shoulder. He smiled a lecherous smile and Sally could feel the stench of his breath on her neck.
"Well what a coincidence. I'm here on business myself. I tour the state on my motorcycle and do stunts in little towns like this." he said as if she would be impressed.
Sally did her best to squirm out of his grip, but his arm was like iron. When he felt her struggle he only held tighter. And if possible, his smile got wider.
"Now hold on, little lady. Where do you think you're going? We're having such a nice conversation." he said into her ear.
Sally began to panic and began thrashing as violently as possible. She somehow found the courage to shout.
"L-let me go!"
The biker narrowed his eyes.
"Alright." he said slowly, and then smugly. "Right after you give me a little kiss."
As he puckered his lips and moved towards her Sally's eyes widened in terror and she used all of her strength to fight him. Unfortunately, he trapped her arms at her sides and she couldn't hit him. Nobody helped her, and she was too afraid to call out. She shut her eyes in the hopes that she could forget easier if she didn't see her first kiss being stolen. As the biker's face draw closer, all she could do was pray.
Somebody, please help me...
Sally suddenly heard a cracking sound and opened her eyes just in time to see Jack's foot connect with the biker's jaw.
The biker's eyes widened in surprise and pain before the force of the kick sent him flying through the air and hitting one of the tables. Jack carefully lowered his raised foot as he dusted his hands and observed the gang run to their fallen boss.
Sally was about to thank Jack when he suddenly grabbed her by the shoulders and looked at her with intense eyes.
"Are you alright? Did he do anything to you?!" he said fearfully.
"N-no. You came just in time." she said blushing.
Jack let out a sigh of relief and straightened up, adjusting his tie.
"Good. Now don't move, this will only take a second."
Sally nodded as Jack walked over to the biker's groaning form and looked down with disgust evident in his face.
"Hello, Oogie."
Oogie Boogie looked at Jack with pure fury and stood up to stare him down. His minions gathered around the two of them like a pack of hyenas and began hurling obscenities at Jack. Boogie smiled.
"You've really messed up this time, Jack. My gang has tripled in size since I was last in town. And believe me, I have a big grudge against you."
Jack smirked right back at him.
"Hiding behind your cronies while they attack me? I always knew you were a coward, Boogie, but this is just ridiculous."
Boogie's smile melted away and he bared his teeth like a furious dog.
"Get him!" he snarled to his pack.
"Do fight me all at once, if I fight you all individually I won't even get enough exercise for the day." Jack said calmly.
Sally watched in awe as Jack fought like a demon from hell. He was so fast she could hardly keep track of his movements. He rolled and punched, dodged and parried.
He had them all moaning and bleeding on the floor in less then four minutes. He didn't have a single scratch on him, except for a few tears in his clothes.
Boogie's eyes widened in amazement and fear, and he began backing towards the doors.
"Y-you're not human!" he stuttered.
Jack glared at him and motioned a thumb out the door.
"Scram."
Boogie didn't need telling twice. He scrambled out the door and got on his motorcycle. His minions peeled themselves off the floor and ran to catch up with him, nursing their aching limbs and tendons. Gradually they all got on their motorcycles and revved them up. The roar of their engines started up and then eventually died down as the gang drove as far away as they could get.
Jack watched them go and then turned to Sally. He had somewhat expected her to be apprehensive of him, considering he had just annihilated an entire gang with his bare hands, but she seemed surprisingly happy.
She got off her stool and trotted over to him, giving him a look of admiration and awe.
"Mister Skellington, you were so cool! Where did you learn to do that?"
Having not been expecting that response, Jack was totally thrown off.
"Uh... I'm a black belt in judo. I trained for several years because I was being bullied and wanted it to stop."
Jack shook his head. Woah. Where did that come from? I've never told anyone about that.
Sally beamed.
"You're my hero, Mister Skellington. I would have been in big trouble if it wasn't for you."
Jack blushed at her praise and stood there, unsure what to do. Then he remembered something and raised his hand in front of her. Sally looked at it in confusion and then at him.
"What are you doing, Mister Skellington?" she said confusedly.
"It's... it's the 'high five', is it not?" he said hesitantly.
Sally stared for a moment and then grinned widely. She jumped up and slapped his hand with her own and ran out of the bar whooping and hollering.
"Alright! Let's go Mister Skellington, we've still got work to do! I can't wait!" she shouted to him.
Jack stood there and slowly lowered his hand, which was stinging and red. Though he hadn't been expecting the high five to involve the two of them slapping their palms, he would be lying if he said it didn't feel oddly... satisfying.
Smiling at his hand, he turned and ran out the door.
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Hee hee hee, it's getting good! I can feel some more wacky adventures bubbling in my veins! Oh, wait. That could be cholesterol.