To start this chapter. Once again I want to tell you guys that this is not going to be Ana and Christian story, but you'll find out the reason why I think my story is connected to FSOG.
Enjoy :)
Cried all night and woke up with swollen eyes. That's the worst thing I've ever done to myself. Am I really stupid or I'm just really obsess with him.
Getting out of my room, I heard a familiar noise coming from my sling bag.
"My phone!" I snapped.
As I quickly open my bag to see who's the person calling me this early. I can't hide my excitement that maybe its him, but my excitement was replaced by anger and sadness.
Calling: MOM!
My heart suddenly felt like it doesn't know how to function anymore. I can't move, the fresh tears coming out of my eyes started to fall again.
"What have I done to experience all these?" I asked knowing that I'm all alone in my room. My phone keeps on vibrating like my heart learning how to pump blood and function again.
"Breath." I have no time to be dramatic again. I need to move-on if it's the end of everything and keep my spirit alive.
Well, that's what my minds telling me.
After reassuring that I no longer look like a zombie pig, I pulled my hair into a messy bun and went downstairs to have breakfast.
"Good morning Nana." Nana is my grandma who's taking care of me for almost half of my life or maybe more. She's so strict so I can't show her my sadness today.
*ACT NORMAL*
"Good morning Sweetie." Fake smiled!
Our kitchen is not as big as the other house's kitchens, but we always make sure that the family eat all together and enjoy some laughter. Grandma made some pancakes and orange juice today. I don't argue with that as long as there is honey and I'll be fine.
*DIG IN*
One piece at a time. One piece at a time.
Sitting in this room with my family laughing to their funny stories is making me more depress. I don't want this anymore. One more piece of pancake and I'm done.
"I'm done. I'll go now. Uhmm... Co's I-I need to clean my room. Yeah...my room." I explained with crooked voice and too much hand gestures.
"OK?!" Grandma frowned but I really don't care about that at this moment.
Heading back to my room. I brushed my face with my right hand.
"Not again."
Who the hell is he?! He's just a guy from New York so?! I can find a better man than him. He's a douchebag! He's a douchebag!
"Urgh! I need to go out."
"Yes!" I smiled at the idea that pops out of my head.
LATER THAT STUPID DAY!
Mark and I decided to meet at a nearby coffee shop so, I could relax and update him. I'm wearing faded shorts, blue top and black loafers and I don't care how I look right now. I just want coffee and a friend to talk to. That's it!
Mark is my best friend in college. We fight, laugh and share stupid boy friend stories.
*YES, BOY FRINED STORIES* because he's gay, but in a formal way. He dresses like a man but acts like a girl.I love him so much even though he makes me do stupid things to my face sometimes. Mark is like Kate in this story. He's flirty, sexy and smart too. He's my guide to guys and shoulder when I'm down. Like Ana to Kate, I can't live without my Mark.
*LET'S CONTINUE?*
As usual he's late. I'm now standing in front of a restaurant waiting for him and I can see some guys looking at me. Jeez! Do I really look that bad?! Using my phone as mirror, Mark's name appeared on my screen.
A text message.
"babe I'm near na. Where should I meet you?"
"FASTER! SAME PLACE! SAME ANGLE!" Yah I'm pissed now!
"Why so dramatic babe?!" Dramatic?! Me?! Hell no! I rolled my eyes and crossed my arms.
"BOO!" What the f...
"Mark! You scared the sh..." He covered my mouth to stop me from saying bad shit in public again. Well, I thank him for that because there's an old couple behind us.
"It's nice to meet you too babe." He smiled and winked at me.
"Babe yourself! Why looking so hot today huh? Have a date later?" I asked examining his over fashionable look for a Saturday coffee date.
"Nah, I just want to look like a real man today for you." He said playing with my hair.
"Stop doing that!" I slapped his right arm away from my well fixed messy bun. I think I said that loud because the old couple behind us is smiling ear to ear.
"Oh no grannies, we're not a couple." I explained and they laughed.
"See, why don't you just act normal and enjoy our date today." Mark explained looking childishly to me.
"Fine. But, please act normal too. If you see a handsome guy, Please don't fucking leave me or else I'll kill you the next time you show up." I gave him a very serious frown.
"Yes ma'am." He smiled and I smiled back.
The coffee shop is in the other side of the street, but the weather is fine. The sky is bright blue and the wind is kissing my cheeks with cold hair. This is the kind of weather I need. The "comfort" weather many would hot and not so cold.
"Let's go?" He asked interrupting my deep thought offering his left arm to me.
"hmm...Yeah." I hold his left arm and rested my head to his shoulder.
*YEAH WHILE WALKING.*
THE COFFEE SHOP
The coffee shop is slightly crowded, but we're lucky to find a table near the window and charging sockets because I don't trust my phone's life/battery these days. Mark offered the left chair to me so, I could clearly see the view outside. The coffee shop is in front of a carousel and beside Banapple restaurant or dessert store.
"What do you want?" huh?
"Why? Your treat"
"yeah. What you want pretty?" WEIRD! What the hell happend t my gay friend?!
"Are you trying to make me laugh? Just order pressed coffee press handsome." I giggled and crossed my legs.
"Ohh hot!" He winked and went to the counter to order
"gay bitch!"
The coffee shop is cozy and very relaxing. Jazz songs and dark brown and maroon walls to much my mood. Dark and deadly. I see some students coming in and couples coming out holding hand in hand. Gosh! I look at my hands and remember when was the time a guy ever held my hand?
"Never." because I've locked my door to everyone who wants to take me out of my hallucinations and unrealistic dream that soon I'll be with him and we will have a happily ever after. I shake my head and I put my phone in silent mode.
"Hey." Mark appeared with a tray of coffee press and two cups of fresh milk.
"Bitch... I mean Mark would you like to help me to shop for new clothes later?" I asked while waiting for him to sit down.
"Are you serious?" He asked obviously pissing me off.
"Yes BITCH!" I said in a very sexy way.
"Oh stop it. I know you have a problem why you wanted to drink this damn press coffee that is good for 8 persons." He said pointing at the very innocent and hot coffee press.
"Hmm...yeah. How did you know? I asked surprised.
"I know you very well. You act like a normal girly girl when your fine and when your sad or sick you love to act ok, but your eyes fails you to do so. Been crying all night ha?" He knows me very well. I know I can't find someone who's better than this bitch.
"Even my period?" I asked with teary eyes.
"Ewww...gross!" We laughed, smiled and look at each other for a moment like we know what we have on each others minds.
"I will not let you tell a super short-cut story of your Mr. Grey like Prince. I will ask you questions and answer them all and very detailed ok?"
"Ok."
"I want you to tell me all about this guy. I mean ALL."
"bu-"
"No buts. I need to know all, because you only share few details about him. We know each other for two years and you're with him for four years now. The only things I know about this guys is that he's from New York, an engineer, pretty rich, single, and older than you. How do you make that work? That's my friend. A person who doesn't know how to pause and ask a specific question.
"For the first what you've said he got everything I like to a man, but he doesn't show his love to me. Well, for me his not showing anything. But, I don't know if I'm the one with problem or he's really just not into me."
"If he's not in love with you, why can't you just leave him?
"I can't. I can't." I explained looking at my knotted fingers as I'm trying to hide the fresh tears ready to escape my eyes.
"Ana, I know you love him so much, but you can't continue doing "SC" with him, because if he really loves you, he wouldn't wait for this long just to be with you and do whatever you both want to do."
"I wish I can stop now and just move-on. But, it breaks my heart thinking about leaving him and being alone again."
"Alone again? Hello! When do you think he's there with you? When he needs you? When he's horny and needed to c*m. For an hour? Wake up Ana. You have a life ahead of you. If he's not the one, accept it. No one deserves to be a toy. Like what he's doing to you. Your a pretty smart lady, don't be a fool. Ok?"
The only thing I can do now is to nod and feel like a dirty slut. I do things that I should not be doing with a stranger. Am I really that stupid?
"Give me your phone." He snapped.
"No!" I protest.
"Just give me your God damn phone." I'm trying to hide my phone, but he grab it.
"What are you doing? Mark" I asked nervously looking at him and to my phone.
"From now on, you will not to contact him again. I'm blocking him on your wechat and deleting him from your contacts. Don't cry now Ana. It's for your own good."
"But I love him."
"That's what love do to you. It made you blind and forget everything. Stop this shit Ana. Please."
Thank you for your reviews. If you want to know more. I'll update more.
SC means Sex Chat or Sex Video Chat
Don't judge me please.
Ax