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Tell me what you think, I personally like this chapter. (:
~nightfall26

I was pretty sure he wouldn't remember any of that night, considering how drunk he'd been. But the smallest voice inside of me was telling me that he remembered it as clearly as I did. Maybe that's really why I left Aang- guilt for thinking of other men in his presence. Not that Aang could really be considered a man. As I walked through my empty apartment, I dropped my sweater to the floor and sighed. I didn't turn any lights on. I didn't even bother to do much, actually, besides sit down at my usual spot and sigh heavily.

Shivers danced down my spine as I recalled the moment I had earlier today. Really, honestly, I'd thought that had been Zuko. Part of me was grateful that it wasn't him; but most of me was aching for his presence.

As I stared out of the window, the only thing that disturbed my thoughts was how cold loneliness was.

Zuko.

There were too many tea shops in Ba Sing Se, I decided. The day was far from over, yet I'd looked in almost ten similar shops near to the docks. My stomach was growling in displeasure at having been forgotten about, making its unhappiness known to all the people standing around me. I'd gotten a few side glances already. The snacks I'd packed in my bag had long since vanished. Last night, I'd taken refuge in a small inn called the South Mountain Inn and holed up with my snacks and one of the old books I'd found in the room. It was a nice place, really, a place that I wouldn't have minded staying longer. The woman that owned it was a sweetheart, and even though she had recognized me, she'd treated me just like anyone else. I admired that.

But when I had headed downstairs to breakfast, I'd seen a woman walking down the street with waves of mahogany hair falling freely down her back. She'd been wearing a simple blue dress, and my head had spun with memories and the crazy thought that this girl, this random, complete stranger, was my Katara.

Katara. The name was fire on my lips and ashes in my mind. My heartbeat was an anxious flutter in my chest as I thought about where she could be. I ran my fingers through my hair, feeling the dampness of the ends and sighing. I had a feeling that this search was going to take a while.

It was about lunch time, so I sat down at a table in an outdoor cafe to eat. My waitress was blonde and had a problem of fluttering her eyes at me while trying not to stutter. I seemed to have that effect on women; besides Katara and Toph, of course. Katara was my best friend, and Toph was just- well. She was Toph.

"Zuko, you could have any girl you wanted, you know that?" She teased, pulling on my shirt as if to egg me on. I swatted at her.

"Liar." I stuck my tongue out at her, teasing, somewhat flirting. It was shameless. It was careless. But yet, neither of us seemed to really care. We'd gone for a walk to pick flowers, since Katara had declared the palace too 'dull' and lacking color.

"Do you think these are pretty?" She called, bending over a patch of pink flowers. I, of course, nodded and agreed with her. It's not like she noticed I was staring at her instead.

Her figure had filled out so nicely, I noted. She was hardly a child anymore- much, much too old for Aang. Her mahogany locks tumbled down her back as free as the wind, caressing every curve and flowing so beautifully when the breeze kissed it.

Mai had lost more weight. She was a skeleton now. Katara had taken to helping in the kitchen, and she often felt a little hurt when she saw that Mai barely touched her food.

"Don't you like it?" She'd ask, timidly, her eyes wide with hurt. Mai would nod exasperatedly, as if there was something that the Water Tribe girl wasn't picking up on. Often times, she'd tell me in private that the blue eyed woman annoyed her.

But she far from annoyed me.

My meal was uneventful and rather dull. The food wasn't bad, but I was just used to the high grade material of the palace's meals. As I picked at the spicy pasta I'd ordered, my gaze wandered across the crowds of the bazaar nearby. My eyes skimmed over a figure nearly exactly like the woman I'd seen this morning, and I stared unabashedly. It was completely terrible of me, but the curiosity was burning in my heart like a roman candle. I willed her to turn around, to face me, to prove to me that I wasn't going completely insane.

A hand flicked her hair over one shoulder, revealing a profile. I couldn't get a good look at her, and I strained my eyes to see, squinting in the midday sun. She smiled slightly, reaching out to touch a blue sundress that hung from a kiosk. Her hands were small, her fingers dainty. I admired the shape of them for a moment before returning to praying that she'd turn around. I knew she wasn't Katara. She was taller than Katara, a little too mature looking. Her hair was much longer, too.

But all of a sudden, I noticed a flash of something tied around the girl's neck.

A necklace.

Could it be...?

When she took a step closer to me, my heart jumped in my chest. I was clenching the fabric of my shirt in my hands.

Please let this be her. I begged to Agni, biting my tongue to keep from crying out.

She turned, briefly, and the smile that lit her face tugged at my heart. I recognized that smile, didn't I? Or was it too much to hope for?

I couldn't keep myself quiet any longer, and I found myself getting to my feet, moving away from my table, searching the faces in front of me with a frenzied pain.

It was her. It had always been her. She was the one. It had been her face I'd imagined when I'd looked at Mai, it had been her blue eyes I'd stared into. She was my best friend; and yet, it had been so seamlessly easy to love her.

Please, Agni. Please let me have my Katara back.

"Katara!" I cried out, loudly, unable to stay quiet any longer. The silence that followed brought a tense, awful pain that filled my chest. I waited, still as a statue, begging and praying and hoping to Agni.

When she turned to face me, I just about cried with relief. It was her. She stared at me, and I got a good look at the woman that I'd fallen hopelessly in love with. Her tanned features hadn't changed a bit, and her eyes, piercing as always, were wide with shock.

Her lips mouthed my name.

There was a brief moment of tension that crackled across the square between us, and her hand twinged, as if she wanted to reach out to me. Mine echoed her movements.

And then she turned and ran away.

In that moment, that terrible, painful moment, I felt my heart twinge in deep sorrow. It cracked along its very seams, rupturing, crying out for her to please please please just come back and begging for the agony to stop. I staggered backwards into my chair, almost falling over it in my attempts to sit back down. I groped at the fabric on my chest as I gasped for breath.

"Are you just going to watch her run away?" Unbeknownst to me, a waiter was standing next to me, staring at me unabashedly. I blinked in surprise.

"What?"

"Aren't you going to go after her?" He said pointedly, gesturing to the girl fleeing into the crowds.

"She'll be gone before I can get to her."

"With that attitude, of course. Get off your sorry behind and go get her." He gave me a solid hoist to my feet, giving me a chuckle and turning away as I started to run. He was right, of course. After all, what did I have to lose?

Katara.

I was flying through the marketplace, my hair streaming wildly behind me as I dashed across the cobblestones. The colors of the tents blurred together as I pushed through the crowd to find an escape.

He'd found me.

My throat was tight with worry- had he followed me? I blindly hoped not. But when I heard him calling my name behind me, my fears were confirmed. My lungs were starting to burn; I hadn't run like this in ages, and my body was showing signs of fatigue.

"Katara, please!"

His cries were disturbing me, tears were threatening to spill over my cheeks. I clenched my fists tighter, pushing myself to run faster. I had wanted to see him for so long, I had thirsted for his lips on mine again, for his eyes trailing after my every move, for the way he radiated heat. I had longed for him in a way that was so wrong, so very wrong for a girl- barely a woman- who had just broken away from a long term relationship.

It frightened me.

So I ran.

If I were to face him, my face would flush and I'd probably stammer. We'd talk, and all the while, I'd be thinking of his hands on my hips and the way he'd pulled me closer to him. I'd be wondering what if. What if I had asked him about that night?

What if he'd looked at me with those fierce golden eyes in the same way that he used to look at Mai?

What if I had looked at him right back with eyes that reflected my every feeling, my every fear?

He was getting closer to me, I could hear it in his voice.

Part of me wanted him to come so close that he could touch me, just to feel that thrill again, and then disappear into the crowd to cry myself to sleep another night. That was what was normal; comfortable. I had run away from commitment. It wasn't as if I was about to dash into another man's arms, I reminded myself.

But he didn't touch me. His hands weren't like I remembered, they were rough, uncouth. He grabbed me and stopped me dead in my tracks. I barely caught myself from falling face first onto the pavement.

"Agni, Katara, what are you doing? Do you know how worried everyone is about you? How worried Aang is?" He was so close to me that I could feel his hot, dry breath against my cheeks. I swallowed, silence filling my lungs. Had he worried?

"What the hell were you thinking?" His voice was rising in volume. I squirmed uncomfortably, my hands scraping hopelessly on the brick wall he'd pinned me against. Zuko's face was so familiar. I remembered tracing the lines in his scar, feeling the weight of his head in my lap, the smoothness of his hair pressing against my legs. And yet, he was a stranger to me.

"Agni." He swore again, this time softer, and he bent his head as if weighed down by a burden. His breath was evening out into a state of normalcy. I could see the beads of sweat on his forehead, and I resisted the urge to throw my arms around him. The defeat in his stance was crushing. When he looked back up at me, I almost couldn't stop a rush of tears from flooding my eyes.

"Zuko." I whispered, lifting a shaking hand to skim the tips of my fingers across his cheek. His breath stilled.

"Katara, do you know how worried I was?" The pace of our breathing had suddenly matched each other, and our chests rose and fell together. His hands slid from the wall to my shoulders, slipping down until his hands were holding my own.

I felt like I was choking. My heart was pounding, a wild drum beat slamming against my ribs. My hair was sticking to the nape of my neck.

"I'm so glad I found you." The words were a rush, and suddenly, he had pulled me to his chest in a tight embrace. In that moment, that stifling moment, I felt safer than I had in weeks. I allowed myself to fall limp into his arms, wrapping my own around his waist and fisting my hands in the back of his shirt. He smelled vaguely of smoke and spices, as per usual.

But no matter how safe I felt, no matter how this moment rang with truth inside of me, I couldn't chase away the shadowy demons that lurked in my head. I couldn't get Aang's hurt face out of my mind. I'd run away for a reason, hadn't I? I'd been afraid.

But afraid of what?

That question rang through my mind as I lead Zuko back to my apartment, our sweaty hands entwined so tightly that we both had white knuckles. Our eyes barely strayed from each others, emotions running high. When the door was shut behind us, he pulled me to the first chair he saw, sitting me down on it and kneeling in front of me.

"Katara, please, tell me why." The words were low and urgent. I frowned, trying to think of the right words.

"I had to leave. It was just so hard being around Aang, so hard being around everyone when I was the only one trying desperately to find out who I am. Aang was only stifling me. He wasn't right for me, and nobody supported me in that. Everyone kept reminding me that we were meant to be and all that nonsense." I choked a little on my words, fishing for an explanation that I wanted so badly to hide. Zuko's eyes were warm and safe, filled with a gentleness that made me want so badly to explain to him that oh La I was in love with him.

His hands gripped mine a little tighter.

"I know exactly what you mean. Mai left me." Those eyes turned sad, all of a sudden, and his shoulders drooped a little. I released one of his hands to reach down and skim the tips of my fingers across his scar. I realized all at once what those words meant to him; that his relationship had failed, and he'd have no fiance to place on the throne beside him. He'd have no Queen, and with that, no heir.

Hope swelled in my chest; selfishly.

"Oh, Zuko." I murmured, feeling genuinely sad for the man in front of me who had once been so broken. We used to talk about anything and everything together. We used to help each other. We used to heal each other.

"I need you, Katara." That whisper was agonized.

So I sank down off the chair to the ground beside him, gathering the man I needed so much into my arms.

"I'm right here." My answer made him shudder a little, and he pulled me close, until his head was resting on my shoulder.

A few moments went by and we fell into a comfortable silence. There was nothing but the warmth of his body and the sound of his breathing, the feeling of his heart pounding away in his chest. The feeling of Zuko being so close was bringing back so many memories, so many emotions and feelings that raced through my mind at 3 in the morning when I was trying to sleep. I'd missed him. I'd missed this stupid boy.

"I missed you." I hadn't meant to say it out loud, I really hadn't. But the words had left my chapped lips, and now I couldn't take them back. Zuko pulled back to stare at me, his eyes wide, his lips pressed together in shock.

"I missed you too, Katara. I missed you so much." His voice was hoarse, and all of a sudden so fragile. We sat there staring at each other for a good while. Those eyes that had once been such safety to me were swimming with a deep sadness that I realized he never showed to anyone. Those beautiful eyes, golden spheres that symbolized nothing but warmth for me. La. Those eyes. My heartbeat was so fast, so quick, that I feared it'd burst right out of my chest.

Somehow, our hands had slipped down to hold each others, and I felt such warmth inside me that I hadn't felt in an eternity.

"I didn't feel right when you left." Zuko confessed hurriedly, as if he hadn't meant to say it but couldn't hold it back any longer. I nodded slowly, my fingers tightening around his hands. A lump rose in my throat.

I hadn't meant to leave him. He was my favorite person in the whole world, he kept me sane. Without him, I'd been a ghost.

"I don't know why I left, honestly. I suppose I felt it was my duty." I laughed humorlessly, shaking my head.

"As if I had anything left to give the world- to give to Aang." Bitterly, I spat out the darkness that had been plaguing my heart for months. Zuko bowed his head for a moment over our entwined hands, his messy black hair briefly skimming my wrist. I felt goosebumps rise along my arms at the sensation.

"You have so much to give, Katara. You always have." The words were murmured, his lips so close to my skin that I could feel the faintest burn along where his breath touched my skin.

"I feel drained, Zuko, as if he exhausted me. I'm young, I've still got dreams, snatches of wishes that I've had since I was a child. There are so many things I want to do, still." I paused for a moment to collect myself before tears overcame my words.

"All he wanted from me were children. He wanted me to be the pretty little housewife and raise kids for him. Not that I'm opposed to that- someday- but not now! La, not now. My soul isn't settled yet. There are still so many places I haven't seen!" I exclaimed, the emotion in my voice crackling. My shoulders hunched a little.

Zuko looked up then, his lips curved up in the slightest of smiles.

"It's as if we're the same person." He whispered, and I could hear tears in his voice, as if he feared that if he spoke any louder the tears would escape his walls.

"We always have been, Zuko." I clenched his hands in mine, my hands beginning to shake as I allowed myself to cry.

"Katara, Katara." He wasn't broken anymore, but he was hurting. I couldn't fathom why. All I wanted was for him to smile, to be happy, to find that source of peace within himself.

Of course, I wanted to be the source of his happiness, but that was far too much to ask for.

I heard the smallest of noises come from the man in front of me; Zuko, the Fire Lord, was crying. I released one of his hands to smooth my fingers over his cheeks and wipe away the tears. He chuckled a little; laughing at himself.

"I've never cried in front of anyone besides Uncle."

"I know. Always the tough guy." I smiled along with him, at the two of us, at the moment we were sharing. I'd been so lost without this man in my life- and yet so frightened to welcome him back into my arms.

"Katara, please come back." I froze.

"Come back?" I echoed, my smile dropping off of my face. He nodded.

"The Fire Nation is your home too, you know. I came so that I could bring you home." His eyes cast downwards, almost as if he was scared of what I was about to say. I stood up, abruptly, dropping his hands and rubbing a hand through my hair.

Zuko was my best friend, I reminded myself. It was a hopeless girl's dream that he even remotely cared about me in that fashion. If I returned, Aang could find me. If I returned, I'd have to confess everything.

It'd be a mess.

"Why do you want me come back with you, Zuko?" I asked, dreading the response he'd give me.

Because you're my best friend, Katara, why else? I imagined the worst. The pain was crushing me now, like a tidal wave. Struggling to breathe without bursting back into tears, I leaned on the windowsill. I listened to the sound of his breathing. Every intake of breath was a sign to me, a sign that he didn't love me, he didn't want me, that I was his friend and nothing more and never would be anything more.

He took a deep breath in, as if he was about to say something he knew would hurt me. The rasp of air was a stab to me. I pressed a hand to my chest as if it would stop the pain I was sure to receive.

I prepared myself.

"Because I love you, Katara."

Thank you all for reading, and please, drop me a review!
love,

~nightfall26