Disclaimers: I don't own POTC nor it's characters.

Thank you so much to my beautiful readers, you mean so much to me.

This chapter is a bit longer than any other, sorry, but not sorry, I'm sure you'll like that one!

'Did you sleep well?' Lawrence inquired when she saw James emerge from her quarters around noon the next day.

He glanced at her and grunted as a form of reply before going to the railings to watch over the sea and clear his mind. Lawrence decided to follow him and get him to talk to her; she had grieved his death greatly, then tried all she could to find him, and now that she had, he was a complete different man; so far from the tall and proud officer of the Navy that he once had been, so far from the dignified man she had loved.

'You do realise that we need to talk about all this, James?'

No reply came from him. She put her hand on his arm, watching his face intently. She had to admit, the beard he had grown rather suited him well, it was a big change, but she liked it, as his wild hair loosely tied with a ribbon; she wondered whether it was hers. When she touched him, she was glad to see a flicker of warmth in his deep green eyes, or was it anger? His eyes finally locked with hers.

'You know, I'd rather see you at the bottom of the ocean than knowing that you've become a pirate!' he spat with an air of disgust. His bitter comment went right to her heart. 'He can't mean it, can he? He'd rather see me drowned?' She almost felt like crying, it was too much to bear; how could he mean that, had he changed that much?

'Well, that's rich coming from you! I think I remember pretty well the time when you said that you couldn't imagine how a man could fall so low and have no dignity left in him. You even said you'd rather die than become like one of them… And besides, I also remember seeing you in the arms of a prostitute when we were at the tavern, I didn't know it was you then, but if I had, I would have been all the more disgusted' she replied more angrily than she would have liked.

'And I remember you saying that you would never become a pirate, even if you had nothing left!'

'How can you s-'

'Rush!' Gibbs touched her shoulder, stopping her in what she was saying.

Lawrence took a deep breath before turning round; nobody deserved her anger, except James.

'Yes, Mr. Gibbs?' she said, her voice still slightly trembling with anger.

'The Captain needs you…'

She nodded.

'I'm coming right away!' She didn't turn round to look at James, she was too angry and too hurt but what he had said, and climbed up the stairs leading to the top deck.

'Ah Lawrence!' Jack said, 'would you mind being at the helm for a while? Just the time for me to look at our headings; Elizabeth may have given us a course to follow but I'd prefer to get an idea of where we're going first before discovering it at the last moment…'

'Of course Jack, anything to help you' she replied, genuinely meaning it.

'Jack…' she said, after a few minutes at the wheel, looking at him with narrowed eyes.

'Yes, love?' he replied, his head in the maps and a pair of dividers in hand.

'Did you really need me at the helm, at this precise moment?' she inquired, suspicious.

'Of course I needed you here!'

'So it has nothing to do with James and me arguing then?'

'No…' he said, looking at her with a little smile. She raised an eyebrow, encouraging him to continue.

'Well, I may or may have not done it on purpose… A Captain needs his crew to be in the best mood possible, and all that, you've already heard that sort of speech before; and I've noticed that the tension between the two of you was anything but the kind of romantically lifted kind of tension. Therefore, contrary to all expectations, given my important role on board of this ship, I decided to sort you out of this negatively charged situation.'

Lawrence blinked, surprised and touched by Jack's good intentions.

'Thank you, Jack.'

'What do you think, I used to do the same for Pintel and Ragetti!' he smiled, giving her a wink. Lawrence laughed good heartedly at his joke; it felt good to count Jack among her friends, she really liked the man.

From below, James lifted his head when he heard Lawrence laughing with Jack; something in his stomach stirred. He couldn't tell what it was, but all he felt at this moment was resentment. Somehow, he felt betrayed; he thought he had lost her forever, he had tried to drink his pain away for months, and then she found him; but now she was a pirate, and friend with Sparrow on top on that. She had become all he once despised; and yet he couldn't help but think that she had not really changed in the end. It was strange for him to see her wearing something other than the Navy uniform he had always known her wearing; but he had to admit, her new way of dressing flattered her more, the dark shirt matching her tanned skin and bringing out all the more the blue-grey of her eyes and the golden hue of her hair. Yes, even dressed as a pirate, she was still incredibly beautiful to him. But what stroke him the most was her kindness, that much hadn't changed; the previous night, she had asked him how he felt before she even knew who he was, then she had looked after him and helped him go through with his hangover; even with the other members of the crew she seemed to treat them as she would any friend, she was always here when help was needed, and always prone to smile and laugh at any moment.

'Maybe I've been wrong about her, maybe I shouldn't have treated her so harshly…'

Lawrence was still at the helm when she saw James coming up to Elizabeth, who was looking at the horizon, lost in her thoughts after her discussion with Jack. He nonchalantly leaned against the rails, next to her. The air was still, so Lawrence could hear everything that was said just below her.

'It's a curious thing' James began, 'there was a time I would give anything for you to look like that while thinking about me…'
'I don't know what you mean' Elizabeth replied, unsure.
'Oh, I think you do!' James said, giving her the look and smiling at her.

Lawrence swallowed with difficulty, her chest suddenly hurting. 'So he doesn't want to talk with me, barely looks at me, and now he's all smiles with Lizzie… Maybe that's what I dreaded then, perhaps what happened during the hurricane was just something on the spurr of the moment and he never really loved me; but never ceased to love Elizabeth, despite her engagment to Will… I shouldn't have listened! There, curiosity kills the cat; let is serve you as a lesson Lawrence, you fool.'
'Oh, don't be absurd, I trust him, that's all!' Elizabeth said emphatically.
James laughed, rolling his eyes, and walked away, saying:

'So you never wondered how your latest fiancé ended up on the Flying Dutchman in the first place…' He shook his head and continued walking.

When Lawrence was relieved from her post, she climbed down the stairs and went to help Marty with the rigging. On her way, she noticed James walking up towards her as though he finally wanted to talk, but she hastened her pace to avoid him; the last thing she needed right now was to argue with him once again, especially after his discussion with Elizabeth.

'You should have tried harder to win her heart James, instead of mine; you would have been far happier…' she thought sourly.

In the evening, Lawrence and Elizabeth had agreed in sharing their quarters; this way they would be able to catch up on lost time and James would have a room of his own; although he didn't know a thing about this arrangement. She didn't resent Elizabeth for being the source of James' smiles; Lawrence knew that she had refused James once and would do it again, she loved Will too dearly, that much was obvious, but also, she sensed a certain weakness on her friend's part towards Jack. True, Jack was a fine man, in his own quirky ways, and always knew how to cheer you up, voluntarily or not, but she wasn't sure he would be a good match for any one, especially not Lizzie. Her friend was reckless, but not up to that point, she hoped.

'Rush!' shouted Pintel to catch her attention. 'It's your turn to scrub the deck this morning!'

'No it isn't…'

'Yes it is!' he said, giving her a brush.

Of all the tasks to do on any ship, scrubbing the floor was one of the worst, but a necessary one nonetheless, for many reasons; by scrapping the salt off the wooden planks, the deck would wrap; it was a good way to know whether a part of the ship was weaker than any other due to some shock; and it prevented splinters from sticking themselves into the sailors' feet.

Lawrence complied and started at the forepart of the Pearl, gently humming to pass the time.

'Why do you call her Rush when her name is Lawrence?' James inquired.

Gibbs smiled at the memory.

'Well, because it's the first impression she gave to the men on board; barely two minutes after we saved her, she was already rushing to the ledge to throw herself into the sea. And she tried at least twice out of three.'

James startled, eyes wide in shock.

'Why on earth would she do such a thing?'

Gibbs shifted uncomfortably.

'Because of you actually… She was devastated by your loss; she kept calling out your name, hoping you would be here. So when we told her that she was the only survivor, she tried to kill herself.'

James was astounded by what his former subordinate was telling him; he had never thought about Lawrence's reaction after the wreck, even more so about her wishing to kill herself because of his death, he hadn't suspected the depth of her love.

'What was the third reason then?' he asked after a pause, still looking at her in the distance.

'Ah yes! The third one was because she had drunk a bit too much rum after Jack had forced her to calm down and suggested her to drown her sorrow with alcohol. And I must say, it worked pretty well! After that, she never tried to do anything stupid again.'

'Lawrence, drinking? I definitely have to talk to her; she shouldn't have suffered that much.'

'I thank you for your explanations, Mr. Gibbs.'

'My pleasure, sir' Gibbs said, bowing then catching himself. He didn't need to bow to him anymore, Norrington was but a mere sailor on board of this ship.

After three hours of work, Lawrence rose up, cracking her back to relieve the pain, and walking towards her quarters to sit on the bed she shared with Elizabeth and rest for a bit.

'Lawrence, wait, I-' James said, when she passed by him.

'Not now, please…' She didn't want to argue with him when she felt tired, she knew she would say things she didn't meant if they did. She kept up walking and threw herself onto the bed, falling asleep seconds later.

James waited for her to go out, but after ten minutes, he noticed she was still inside.

'Is she avoiding me? Am I not worth her time now that I am a common sailor?' This idea saddened him; he would try and talk to her at the first occasion, if only to clarify things.

Lawrence woke up a couple of hours later, feeling refreshed. She went on the deck, trying to find Jack to ask them when they would arrive to their potentially intended destination, but as she walked, she felt a hand catching her arm.

'We need to talk!' James said, slightly irritated. He led her to the forecastle, where he hoped they would have more privacy, his hand still on her.

'What is it, James? You want to reproach me of my choices once again? Tell me I'm worthless and should have died with the others?' Lawrence sighed, shaking off his hand.

'Good gracious, Lawrence no! I would never say such a thing! Although I reckon I did say that and… That is why I brought you here. I wanted to apologise for my recent behaviour and for everything. I-I never meant what I said the other day; part of the blame is to put on the shock I had to see you again.' He looked down then locked his eyes on her, his hand reaching instinctively her.

'Jack?' Elizabeth asked, watching at the two from the top deck. 'Do you know if there is something more between Lawrence and James? They look really close to me for mere former Navy officials…'

'Ah!' Jack smiled, looking in that direction also. 'Law' didn't tell you anything about sweet Norrington then?'

'She did mention that they were on a mission together before their ship sank, but nothing more, no…'

'I see. Well, my dear, those two that you see yonder aren't mere Navy comrades, but rather two desperate lovers that everything pulls apart, tragically struck by Fate at the beginning of their story together; and now, they have to rebuild everything again on new ground, and let the seed of love grow higher and stronger, so they would-'

Elizabeth rose her eyebrow and looked at him sideways.

'Stop playing with me, Jack. If you don't know, you can just admit it…'

'Oh it is the truth, dearie. Just ask them if you want, although they would certainly lie to you about it considering Norrington's former love to you, and the fact that your friend didn't talk to you about him, which in itself is revealing. But apart from that, yes, they really are involved romantically speaking. I'll need to pass a rule on board about them not kissing or anything in front of everybody, or being too loud with their business. I don't want any of this on my ship; especially when I'm not one of the-'

'Jack! Stop it, I don't want to hear more than I need to!' Elizabeth gasped. 'I never thought James would fall for someone like Lawrence, especially given who she had become now…'

Lawrence suddenly relaxed at the feeling of his hand in hers; it felt so familiar, she had missed this sensation. For the first time in months, the butterfly in her stomach stirred again.

'I know what you must think of me seeing how I ended up, but know that I never stopped grieving you, Lawrence' James confessed.

Lawrence shook her head in despair, caressing the back of his hand with her thumb, her other hand cupping his cheek.

'What happened to you, James? Just… how did this happen?'

James looked down in shame.

'I… When I thought I had lost you, I thought I had lost my mind. I went to Port-Royal to report on our failed mission; the new administration made me face a court-marshal where I was blamed and relieved of my duties, my titles taken from me. I had nothing else to hold on; I'm almost glad Andrew and Theodore were not there to witness my fall. I-I am ashamed to admit it, especially to you; I've spent the next months gambling, drinking, living a depraved life… I would have lived on like this till somebody killed me in a fight, or till my absorption of alcohol was too high for my senses to go on. But you found me…' he lifted his eyes, the warmth coming back to them once more. 'You helped me, pulled me out of this dark place I had hidden myself in. You took care of me the instant you recognized me, and I was too drunk, too drunk to acknowledge your kindness, and rejoice of your presence. That was rude, that was ungrateful of me. And I even blamed you for who you've become, without asking you the reasons. I was still blinded by my former prejudices, and I judged you too promptly and too harshly. Without a doubt, you have all the reasons to be who you are, to sail with whoever you want, even if he is a pirate and that this said pirate is a certain Jack Sparrow. And here I am now, apologising for everything. I understand why you don't want to talk to me anymore; I would do just the same in your place, and I don't blame you for this, nor for anything. You are alive, and well, and apparently happy; that is all that matters to me; I can ask no more. But I promise, I make this solemn promise to you, I will become the man I once was. And one day, you will be proud to hear once again the name of James Norrington. Just… don't give up on me yet, please.'

James' speech hit her like a wave; she would never have expected to hear such raw and painful confessions from her former Captain, especially not given the man he had become. She was outraged to hear about his destitution; how could such a thing happen? Wasn't the administration of Port-Royal a just assembly? How could you blame a man for a shipwreck? Now that she had all the elements, she began to understand how James ended up like this, although it did not justify everything; no man is impervious to such blasts, and on this, James was a man like any other. She couldn't even blame his drinking as she had done the same the first day she had been on the Black Pearl; though it is true, she had quickly gathered herself up, but maybe the circumstances were different after all. 'Did James really say that part of his drinking was because he grieved my death, or have I imagined it? If he did, should I see more to it?' She was also happily surprised by his forgiveness, after all, she was a pirate and a friend of Captain Jack Sparrow, all that he once hated with a burning passion. And there was still hope for him, he wanted to amend himself and gain back the dignity he had trampled on.

During his soliloquy, she had felt her chest tighten, all of her emotions had surged up within her, coming out only through the form of a few tears that couldn't be held anymore.

'Oh James… Of course, of course I forgive you. You have no reason to blame yourself anymore, and I know you will rise again, like the phoenix from its ashes.' She seized his hand with both of hers, still looking at him intently.

'I believe in you, James Norrington.'