5 – Moving On – May 12, 2012

Aspen tensed the moment she saw the window in their hotel room. "What's wrong?" Steve asked softly, seeing her tense.

"Someone's been here," she returned quietly. She indicated the window. It was open a crack, hardly a whisper of the breeze came in, but she knew they hadn't opened it. She went over, hobbling on her hurt foot, and noticed the distressing around the paint on the inside of the window. "It's been forced," she told him. "In their haste to leave they didn't shut it properly. Probably a maid interrupted them."

"Them?" Aspen opened the window and peered out.

"Footprints in the garden bed. Broken limb on the tree outside. There were probably two and they were men. The footprints are deep; the sprinklers had probably just gone off. Rookie spies most likely."

"Did they take anything?" he asked, looking around.

Aspen grabbed her bag from where she'd left it on the dresser and sat down on the bed to rifle through it. "They searched my bag, but I didn't have anything important in it. Everything that would have been valuable to anyone I kept on me. How about you?"

"Yeah," Steve said, looking through his bag. "I just brought clothes and a toothbrush."

"It still makes me feel violated. They found us pretty quickly."

"How do you think they found us?"

"People are easily bribed. A taxi driver might have told them he took us here. The guy at the front desk might have told them that they had a Tolvar staying here. I should have used an assumed name, but I used my credit card. I haven't been trained for this sort of thing. Clint would know what to do, but I just want to keep hotel hopping."

"Can you call him?" Steve asked.

Aspen frowned, pulling out her phone. "If he's not on a mission. I'll try." She dialed his number and waited. The phone went straight to voicemail. "No luck."

"Fury?"

"I'm not getting him involved. I should know how to handle this. Let's just sit tight for now. They didn't find what they were looking for, if they even know what that is, so they'll be back. For now I need to ice my leg. I can feel it swelling." She set her bag on the floor and lay back on her bed.

"What can I do?" Steve asked, concern darting behind his blue eyes.

"There should be an ice machine on the first floor. Can you get me some ice?" she asked.

"Of course."

"And possibly put a pillow under my leg?" she asked, feeling needy. "To elevate the injury."

He grabbed a pillow and gently lifted her leg, setting the pillow beneath it. "Is that comfortable?" he asked.

"Yeah, thank you." Aspen gave him a grateful look. "What would I do without you?" she asked. "I'd still be lying in the basement."

Steve frowned at the thought. "I'm glad I came," he returned. "I'll go get the ice."

Aspen waited while he was gone, feeling a fear she wasn't used to worming its way into her head. What if the men came back while Steve was gone? She couldn't run. She could barely walk. She had to remind herself that Steve was only one floor away. She was surprised by the ferocity of her need to have Steve near. It was like being apart was a physical pain. She feared for him, felt unsafe herself, and missed his constant presence that seemed to quell her anxieties like nothing else. She wasn't used to feeling this about anyone. She'd been very young the last time she'd felt this with her parents, and she had never been close enough to her aunt to feel this way. Clint was a friend and mentor, but he was often away on missions. But Steve… They'd spent almost every spare minute together since he had woken up. She'd gotten so used to his presence that his absence was like a giant gapping hole. When had she become so insecure? Maybe it was at the point when she'd realized she liked having someone there for her, someone to care about her and want to protect her.

Before she could consider further what this all meant, Steve entered the room again, carrying a bag of ice. He got a towel from the bathroom and wrapped the bag of ice before gently setting it on her leg. The relief was instantaneous, and Aspen sighed. "Thank you. Much better."

"Do you need to see a doctor?" he asked, brow furrowed.

"No, I'll be alright. I just shouldn't put weight on it for awhile."

Steve sat down on his bed, folding his hands in his lap. Aspen took out her phone and unlocked the file with all the data she'd downloaded from her parents' computer. She scanned through the files. "This is incredible," she said after a moment. "Here, come sit next to me so you can read too." Steve got up and came to sit next to her on the bed. His shoulder pressed against hers as he peered at the phone screen. Aspen felt hyperaware of his touch as she had on the plane.

"What is it?" Steve asked, and Aspen jerked her attention back to the phone.

"Oh, um, it's my parents research. It's basically a play-by-play of their experiments and the steps they took to create the Superhero Serum. Its proper name is Neurological Potential Stimulus. They had several failed experiments. This was in the early 80s. People were willing to volunteer to be test subjects. Negative effects were loss of memory, temporary loss of hearing, and neurological recalibration."

"Neurological what?" Steve asked, sounding confused.

"Basically it reset their brains and memories and everything. They would have to start over."

"And people volunteered to do this? Did they know what the consequences could be?"

"Did you know what the consequences would be before you were injected with the Super Soldier Serum?" Aspen countered. "They were willing to take the risk. It was something they wanted very badly."

"But they never perfected it?"

Aspen scrolled down in the log. "They got close. Toward the end of their entries – these are dated 1994, a few months before the explosion – they start getting vaguer. Here it starts talking about the Immunity Serum they developed. It was like they were creating a safe key in case anyone tried to force the truth out of them. It's smart. If one was kidnapped or something, the immunity would prevent any drugs from forcing them to tell the truth. Clearly they feared something. Why would they inject me with it though? There's no indication that they had any successful attempts. Wait…" She paused in her scrolling. "'Test subjects one and two reacted well to Immunity Serum. Testing Phase Two successful. Immunity to mind control successful. Test subject three injected April 25th, 1994.'" Aspen paused. "There were only three people they tested it on, and I think I know who."

"Who?"

"Themselves and me." Aspen looked up at him. He was frowning.

"They tested it on you?"

"After successfully testing it on themselves." She saw him making an effort not to speak. "I know what you're thinking."

"It's not my place to judge."

"You don't think they should have tested it on a child."

"You were three years old."

"They knew what they were doing." Aspen wasn't sure why she was defending them. "It did work. It saved me a few times. I could have been Loki's chew toy, but it protected me."

The anger behind Steve's eyes at the mention of Loki surprised her. "What else does it say?" he asked stiffly.

"It mentions Joseph Danners a few times. I assume the 'interested party' mentioned early on in their notes is in reference to him when my aunt introduced him to their research." The log was detailed but vague. To an outsider, it would just look like a journal of research experiments but for someone who could interpret the information it was a veritable gold mine. "The last entry is right before they disappeared. 'We are not safe. We've been compromised. We're sending Penny to live with Vi. Grabbing everything we can from the lab. It was never meant to be this way.'" Aspen stopped reading. The pang of desire she felt at the thought of a life where this hadn't happened overwhelmed her. But then she realized she never would have met Clint or Steve or any of the other people who had touched her life for better or for worse.

She took a deep breath and moved onto the next document. It was scribbles and notes in familiar handwriting. "This is my mom's handwriting," she said. "It's her work on the formula. It indicates here that there's another element needed to make the serum work." She frowned. "I don't recognize the symbol." She scrolled down a little further. "Oh my god," she said.

"What?"

"This drawing. Doesn't this look familiar?" Aspen turned the phone toward him.

Steve frowned at the square object that had been colored in blue. "It's the Tesseract," he said.

"The last element needed to get the formula to work comes from the Tesseract. How is that possible though?"

"You said Joseph Danners collected unusual artifacts. Is it possible he got his hands on a Hydra weapon?"

"It's more than possible. He spent so many years acquiring rare objects that it's more than likely he came across something like that. He was probably smuggling even when my parents knew him. Somehow they realized it was the element they needed. It makes sense. I have no idea how you'd extract some of that power, but when Loki used his scepter to take over peoples' minds, according to him, it opened their eyes to a whole new world, a whole new level of knowledge. I'm not sure exactly what he meant by this, but maybe it's what makes it possible to expand the possibilities of the brain."

"But wouldn't Danners know that then? He could have made the formula himself."

"He didn't have their work until he stole it from my aunt. And without all the elements, not even the greatest scientists could recreate it – well, not easily. This was my parents' life work. He might have known about the Tesseract's energy, well, I doubt he knew what it was, but he wouldn't know how to extract it. He might not have even had any of the energy left." She moaned. "There are just too many things to consider. I have no idea what the truth is."

"Do you have enough information now to complete the serum?" he asked.

"I think I know all the elements now, but I have no idea how to extract the Tesseract's energy. I'm sure SHIELD still has some of the Chitauri's weapons. They would have collected them after the battle. I'm sure Fury would give me some to work with. I need to keep looking through the files. There's got to be some procedural notes in here somewhere." She kept scanning. She stopped when she found a file on the Super Soldier Serum. "There's a file on you," she said. "Well, Doctor Erskine's research anyway."

"They didn't try to recreate that too, did they?"

"No, but his research heavily influenced their work. The Superhero Serum has some of the same elements." She frowned as she came to a file on Joseph Danners. She knew most of what was there from SHIELD, but it upset her to look at nonetheless. Why had she worked for him for so long? She shuddered to think what evils she'd aided him in. He'd sold out to a lot of different organizations that were on SHIELD's enemy list. The next file piqued her interest.

"I guess Danners wasn't the only one interested in their research. Somehow some organization called A.I.M. got wind of their research – probably through Danners. They approached my parents, but they refused to work with them. Sounds like nothing came from it. They backed down when my parents said no."

"I read about A.I.M. in Fury's dossier. It stands for Advanced Idea Mechanics. It was founded during World War II and was associated with Hydra. Its members were scientists who focused on developing technology to help overthrow the government. They supplied questionable governments with weapons and technology until SHIELD exposed them as a subversive organization. Since then they've kept quiet, but they're still out there," Steve related.

"Sounds shady. This is interesting…" Aspen scanned the next few notes. "This almost makes it sound as if my parents had another research facility up north." She frowned. "Where did those coordinates indicate?" she asked.

"Everett, Washington?"

"Right. If those were coordinates then maybe my parents had another lab there. I don't know what purpose that would serve, but it's another place to look for clues. Maybe we can find some information about where they hid."

"Are you going to be alright to travel?" Steve asked. "How would we get there anyway?"

"We could rent a car. If you drove, I'd be all right sitting in the passenger seat. It's not that far away."

"When did you want to go? Have we done all we can do here?"

Aspen stopped to consider this. "We just got here. Maybe I shouldn't feel this way, but it feels wrong leaving so soon. Part of me came here to follow the clues, but another part of me wanted to come home."

"We don't have to leave just yet."

Aspen set aside her phone. She didn't want to think about the mess that was her past right now. She sighed. "It doesn't make sense to stick around. The Sunflower House is not…it's not the same. I don't have a life here anymore. I haven't for a really long time. I think I was just clinging onto the idea of having a life, the idea of a happy childhood. Seems like that was all an illusion."

"It wasn't. You have good memories from then. That's not an illusion," he told her.

"It feels like it. Like none of it was real. If it wasn't for the house, I might not believe I'd ever had parents and a place to be happy."

Steve was silent for a moment. "I wish I could change that, give you the happy life you deserve. I guess neither of us had a chance for a normal childhood."

"I'm so wrapped up in myself," Aspen apologized. "I'm sorry. You've been through hardship too. You lost your parents." She looked up at him. His eyes were distant.

"That was a long time ago," he said.

"Not to you – not as many years as it really has been." She touched his hand, and he looked down at her, eyes searching hers for a moment.

"If there's one thing I've learned in this life it's that dwelling on the past does no good," he told her. "After awhile you forget to live in the present. Have you ever considered that digging up the past might not be the best thing for you? I don't want to see you get hurt. Men have already been following us. They broke into our room. We don't know who we're dealing with. This serum is your parents' work, not yours. Maybe it's better off forgotten. I've seen what the Tesseract can do, as have you. Any serum that uses its power can't be all good."

Aspen considered his words knowing that he'd seen first hand what research involving the Tesseract could lead to. It was such a simple suggestion, and she knew he meant it in good will. She'd never considered just leaving the matter alone. The serum had the potential of being very dangerous in the wrong hands. She should just delete the files off her phone and destroy the floppy disk. But could she be happy never knowing what had happened to her parents? Never finding them?

"I don't want this serum to fall into the wrong hands," she told him. "I just want to figure out who has what information on it and then destroy it all for good. I want to find my parents. But I don't want to repeat their mistakes."

"You won't."

"What makes you so sure?" she asked, looking up at him.

"Because you can learn from their mistakes. And you have me. I'm not going to let anything happen to you." He looked so sincere in that moment, that Aspen felt overwhelmed by his support. She smiled, embarrassed to find that her eyes were beginning to water. She cleared her throat and looked away.

"I just want to put this to rest," she said. "I can't just leave it."

"I understand that. I wasn't saying I thought you should just stop. I just wanted to make sure you knew that was an option."

"I hadn't really considered it, but I know what I need to do. We'll rent a car tomorrow and head to Washington. I need to say goodbye to the past, and this is step one. I'm going to put the Sunflower House on the market or turn it over to the bank. Whatever it takes to cut myself loose. When this is all over, I want to start fresh."

"I think that's a great idea. I'm going to do the same."

"So you're going to call Peggy?" She grinned at him.

"Why do you want me to call her so much?" he questioned.

"It's a loose end," she told him. "You cared a lot for her, do care a lot about her. That was a month ago for you. Feelings don't just fade because you've been frozen for over sixty years. And I know she would want to hear your voice."

"It's confusing," he confessed. "I still remember her kissing me before I leapt onto the Valkyrie. I still remember her voice over the radio as I took it down. To wake up and learn that sixty-seven years had passed… I don't know how to feel. I know I need to move on, but like you said, my feelings can't just fade."

"She kissed you right before you took down the Valkyrie?" Aspen asked.

"Yeah." He gave her a questioning look, ears turning pink.

"That's just really adorable," Aspen said with a smile. "Like a movie."

The color rose in Steve's cheeks, but he smiled. "She gave me a hard time up until then. She-er-caught me kissing another girl. Well, the girl kind of threw herself at me. I didn't really know what to do. I'd never really…never been kissed before." He looked flustered.

The idea that Steve hadn't been kissed before that surprised Aspen. She would have thought he'd kissed lots of girls, but he'd told her before that girls had never paid him much attention before the serum. "Peggy got jealous?" Aspen asked with a knowing smile.

"I tried to explain that it hadn't meant anything, but she didn't seem to believe me." He looked a little helpless.

Aspen couldn't help the giggle that escaped. He looked a little affronted. "Sorry, you're just so…"

"Clueless? Ignorant? Inexperienced? Yes, I am," he mumbled.

"I was going to say awkward. And I mean that in an affectionate way. If it's any consolation I'm all those things too. Just look who I picked to fall for," she said thinking of Loki.

"Why…" he broke off, looking unsure. "Never mind," he said hastily.

"Why did I fall for him?" she finished for him.

"It's none of my business."

"No, it's fine. Since we're on this subject, we might as well be honest with each other." She sighed. "I think there was something in him that I connected to. We'd both lost our families, though not through death. We both felt like we needed to prove ourselves somehow. He came across as irritable and haughty, but I kept seeing glimmers of who he really was underneath all that. There was something exciting and dangerous about him. Which really isn't a good thing to be attracted to. I like to think I learned from that mistake. Next time I'll pick someone more like you." She realized what she'd said a moment later and blushed. It didn't help that Steve was still close enough for her to feel his body heat. She refused to meet his eyes after that, and he was silent.

"I might not see the good in him, well, not much, but I trust your judgment," he told her finally.

"You saw some good in him?" she asked, surprised. "After all he did?"

"He spared your life," Steve said simply. "He could have killed you multiple times but he didn't.

"I'm not sure why he did."

"Because he fell for you too."

She rolled her eyes. "He's a demi-god. I doubt that. I'm just a human."

"Aspen, when will you see that you are anything but normal? You think yourself so plain, but you're extraordinary. One of the most extraordinary people I've ever met."

Aspen looked at him in surprise. She didn't know what to say. She opened her mouth to reply, but couldn't find the words. He was looking at her intently, his eyes so blue. "Steve, I-"

The ringing of her phone cut her off. She blinked, startled from her trance. She turned to her phone, looking at the screen to see who was calling. When she saw the words 'Blocked Number,' her heart leapt with a jolt. It had to be her mom again.

She answered it quickly. "Mom?" she asked.

"Not your mother. A friend," the voice responded. It was an older woman, not her mom. "Listen closely. You are being trailed by two men. They mean to kidnap you and take you in for questioning. They are going to be at your hotel tonight at midnight. There is an Amtrak station at 800 Northwest and 6th Avenue. Take it. Don't try to leave right now – they're watching your hotel. At 11:45 there will be a diversion, and you can make your escape."

"Wait, how do you know this? Who are you?"

"A friend," she repeated. "I've been keeping an eye on you."

"Your voice sounds familiar." Aspen couldn't place it. "Who do these men work for?"

"An organization called A.I.M. or Advanced Idea Mechanics. They're very interested in the research you're looking for."

"Do you know why they want it?"

"I don't have time to explain right now. Let's just say that such research would be dangerous in their hands."

"Who are you?" Aspen asked one more time. "Who do you work for?"

"We've met," the woman said after a pause. "I'm retired now, but do agents ever really retire?"

"You work for SHIELD?" But the line had gone dead.

"Who was that?" Steve asked.

"I'm not sure… Whoever it was warned me that the two men who were trailing us are coming back tonight to take us. There's going to be a diversion at 11:45, and we need to leave then."

"Take us where?"

Aspen shrugged. "I'm not sure. She mentioned A.I.M. They want my parents' formula just like everyone else. She told us to take the Amtrak out of Portland. There's a station at 800 Northwest and 6th Avenue."

"And you trust her? Does she work for SHIELD?"

"She said she was an agent…but I'm not sure if she works for SHIELD. She said she was retired. Her voice sounded so familiar, but I can't place it."

"What if it's a trap?"

Aspen had thought of that too. "She said we're being watched right now. They could track us wherever we go. I don't want to lead them to Washington. We can take the Amtrak away from Portland and then rent a car." Steve looked as if he wanted to ask something but was holding back. "What?"

"What's an Amtrak?" he asked.

"A train – electric. Usually the stations are open 24 hours."

Steve looked down at his watch. "1:30," he said. "We have a ways to go."

"I don't know about you but I'm famished. We should get something to eat and then get some rest. We're in for a long night." Steve nodded, and Aspen picked up the receiver on the phone next to the bed and ordered room service again. When she hung up, she turned to Steve. He was frowning, looking down at her phone.

"What's that?" He indicated a message that had popped up on her screen. Aspen grabbed her phone, reading the message.

Your mother sends her love, Miss Tolvar. Looking forward to meeting you in person. Well, I suppose we have already met, but you don't know it just yet. By the way, she's going to pay for that little phone call the other week. She'll still be alive when you get here though.

P.S.

Aspen's heart was pounding in her head and the blood drained from her face. "Oh my god… My mom…"

"Who has her? Do you know who P.S. is?" Steve asked.

Aspen shook her head. "Steve, I can't lose her. Not again."

"We'll find her," he promised her.

"The men coming for us…they mean to take us to her."

"You can't be thinking about letting them take us."

"How else are we going to find her?" Aspen asked desperately.

"No, Aspen. I'm not letting you get kidnapped. She wouldn't want that. If she truly has been captured by A.I.M. or this P.S., we're not going to be any help to her if we get captured too."

Aspen fought with herself, but she knew Steve was right. She wilted against the pillows. "You're right."

"We don't even know that this person is telling the truth. It could just be a ruse to get you to let yourself be taken willingly."

"Well then he obviously doesn't know me well," Aspen said. "When have I ever been taken willingly?"

Steve smiled down at her. "We can take the fight to him, but on our own terms," he told her.