Author's Note: 6/15/14 I started writing a one-shot. It takes place in the 1940s and is a what-if for Steve and Aspen if Aspen had lived back then. It's pretty dang cute if I do say so myself. I don't know how long one-shots typically run, but it's going to be long. Like 30 pages possibly. Because I'm the kid who wrote 20 page stories when I was supposed to write 2 pages in school. I'll keep working on it and post when I'm done.

7 – A Glimpse at Happiness – May 13, 2012

They didn't walk for long but rather found a place to sit across from the Space Needle, which was admittedly quite amazing, Steve thought. The air was warm with the first hints of summer, and they could smell the sea as the breeze carried it toward them. Instead of going into the Space Needle for ice cream, they walked to the pier and sat by the Sound, watching the seagulls coast overhead. Aspen explained what Pike Street Market was and managed to walk a ways with him, insisting that she wasn't in too much pain. After an hour of walking around, slowly so as not to hurt Aspen's leg further, he found himself forgetting that they were on the run, that they weren't normal like the people they passed. For that time he was just Steve and she was just Aspen. They stopped at the fish market section of Pike Street and watched as the workers threw fish back and forth much to the delight of the crowd. Aspen smiled at the absurdity of it, and Steve felt happier than he had the last few hours just to see her smile. On instinct he slipped his hand into hers. He saw her smile falter, but then grow a moment later. She didn't look at him, but held his hand tighter and did not let go as they moved on.

Finally eight o'clock came, and Aspen looked up a car rental agency on her phone with her right hand, keeping her left in his. Steve wasn't sure what this meant, wasn't sure what he wanted it to mean, but every time he was near Aspen anymore, his heart began to beat a little faster. He wanted to be near to her. It was slowly beginning to occur to him what was happening and the thought filled him with both happiness and nerves. He was falling for her.

This thought brought on a wave of different emotions: fear, happiness, nervousness, guilt, confusion. He was afraid to lose her, afraid she wouldn't feel the same way. Nervous about starting something. Now wasn't the time, he knew, to be starting a relationship with her. He felt guilty because a month ago he'd been falling for Peggy Carter. It didn't matter that sixty-seven years had passed. It was still a month ago in his head. Of course she had moved on, grown old. There was no chance for them now. Not in this lifetime. His confusion made him doubt himself. He didn't know what he was doing. It didn't matter that he was a superhero to a lot of people. He was still Steve Rogers, and he still had no experience with relationships. Bucky had always been the one to get the girl.

"…should be able to get us there in thirty minutes," Aspen was saying. She looked up at him. "Steve?"

He blinked, looking down at her in surprise. He'd been so caught up in his thoughts that he'd forgotten she was standing right there. He blushed as if she could see right into his thoughts and know that he was thinking about her. "Yeah, sounds great," he said quickly, trying to cover himself.

"You seem distracted," Aspen told him, and Steve's heart beat a little quicker. "Is something on your mind?"

Yes. A lot of things were on his mind right now. He swallowed. How could he tell her? Should he tell her? He froze, thoughts spinning in his mind. A crazy thought crossed his mind. He wanted to kiss her. That thought terrified him enough to release her hand and shove his own into his pockets. "I was just thinking about what we might find in Everett," he said hastily. Aspen looked disbelieving, but she nodded a moment later, accepting his answer.

"Well, let's go rent a car then. You don't mind driving?"

"No, not at all," he returned, not meeting her gaze. He felt embarrassed at his thoughts. He couldn't just kiss her in the middle of the street. Maybe people did that today, but he was not the type to rush into things. Instead he followed Aspen to the car rental agency, his thoughts more muddled than ever.

They rented a black sedan, and Aspen handed the keys over to Steve. He didn't get the car rental process, but Aspen explained it to him as they got into the car. Aspen directed him as he pulled away from the rental agency, weaving into the traffic that seemed heavy for a Sunday morning. As soon as they were out of the city, he relaxed. Aspen fiddled with some of the buttons and knobs below the dashboard and cool air streamed out of the vents. They'd bought fresh blackberries in the market, and Aspen pulled those out, setting them between the seats so they could share. Steve was reminded suddenly of Tony trying to push blueberries on him on the Helicarrier at the most inappropriate time. His thoughts turned to when he'd found that Aspen was stowed away on the Helicarrier despite direct orders to stay behind. He admired that about her, how she would do anything to follow what she thought was right.

As he drove, Aspen kept snatching glances at him. He tried to behave normally, but suddenly he didn't know what normal was anymore. He wanted to tell her everything, but he was too shy to tell her how he felt. He didn't want to keep ignoring his feelings though. He just wondered if she felt the same way. He stole a glance at her, but she was looking out the window, leaning her elbow on the doorframe. The scenery really was quite breathtaking though he was too distracted to enjoy it. They were driving along the water and everything was so green from the constant precipitation.

Ten minutes into the drive, Aspen broke the silence. "I was just thinking about what you said earlier in the diner." He thought back to what he had said and panicked for a second. "If you could choose to have been born in this era, say in 1986, and just been Steve Rogers and not Captain America, would you choose that?"

He thought for a moment. The idea of that was tempting, but then he wouldn't have met Bucky or Peggy or the men who had followed him into war against Hydra. He would still be the shrimpy kid from Brooklyn who got beat up and wasn't allowed to join the war and serve his country. He and Aspen could have lived out their entire lives without crossing paths. Even if she ended up in New York, there were a lot of people in the city. Would she have noticed him without the Super Soldier Serum? He knew that wasn't why she was friends with him, why she cared about him, but he hadn't stood out before, hadn't been able to make a difference in the way he wanted.

"I don't think I would," he said finally. "What I went through, the people I knew along the way, the people I've met since awakening, I wouldn't change that."

Aspen sighed. "I wish I had grow up with my parents, wish I'd never met Danners, but like you, I wouldn't give up the people I know now. Clint, you." She smiled at him. "I think sometimes normal is overrated."

"Have you made any decisions about SHIELD?" Steve asked. Aspen was constantly torn between a normal life and the life SHIELD would provide her with. He knew she wanted to be safe and to find her family, but he also knew she was used to this lifestyle. If he was honest with himself, he knew he could never find a normal job and have a normal life. Not since the serum or the war or New York.

"After New York I thought that I never wanted to be put into a situation like that again," Aspen told him. "I still don't, but I'm starting to realize that my parents' research has led to a lot of dangerous situations too. Joseph Danners hired me so that he could try to get his hands on the research. When he got his hands on the research, he tried to have me killed. And now A.I.M. or whatever is after the research. I used to think that my parents' work was something incredible, something good, but now… Now I just see a time bomb that's being juggled between multiple parties who want to use it for different levels of evil. My serum fell into the wrong hands. It was almost like someone knew I was developing it. I only told my chemistry professor and a couple of my classmates. Someone must have been spying on me. Who knows for how long?"

"Do you suppose it was the same people who want the rest of the research on the Superhero Serum?"

"Who knows? SHIELD has no shortage of enemies that would probably want to get their hands on that research. I just don't want to be a part of that anymore. I've seen firsthand the damage scientific research can do. The Tesseract for instance. SHIELD should have left it where it was but they needed to know more about it. And then that led to Phase 2. Nothing good can come from using Hydra weapons. Loki taught us that. Maybe New York needed to happen for SHIELD to see just how dangerous that cube was. I just used to think that I was studying science for good, following in my parents' footsteps, but their footsteps led us to where we are right now. It led me to grow up practically an orphan, led me to work for Danners, to nearly die. It led to every bad thing that has ever happened to me. I don't want to end up the same way they did. Maybe it's too late. I just want this to end."

"How do we end this?"

"I'm not sure we can. We don't know who knows what or how much of their research has leaked." She moaned, putting her face in her hands. "It's this huge mess, and my parents can't even clean it up themselves. Being dead was a good excuse, but now that I know they're alive…"

"I'm sure they didn't mean for you to deal with this," Steve told her.

"I don't know anymore. My mom's clearly alive, she knows I'm following their clues. What the hell kind of motherly concern is that? The clues led to research that could get us killed. We're on the run even now from who knows what organization. Maybe A.I.M."

Steve could tell that she was getting herself worked up. "Hey, we'll take care of this," he told her. "You're not alone."

"I shouldn't have dragged you into this. If you get hurt because of their stupid serum, I'll never forgive them or myself." She turned wide eyes on him, and he could see tears threatening to fall.

"Don't worry about me," he hastened to assure her.

"But I do. That's what friends do," Aspen said. "Did Bucky worry about you a lot?" she asked a moment later.

Steve started at the mention of Bucky. "He did. He was always getting me out of tight spaces," he recalled softly. "I think it came to him as a shock when I suddenly didn't need looking after." He thought back to their reunion when he'd saved Bucky from the Hydra facility.

"I bet."

"His first words when he saw the 'new' me were 'I thought you were smaller.'" He grinned at the memory. Aspen smiled.

"I think I would have liked him," she said. "He sounds like a great friend."

"He was." Steve fell silent wishing he could introduce Aspen to Bucky. He would have liked her too. He probably would have flirted up a storm with her, but somehow he knew Aspen could handle him. "I miss him," he said. "I had already lost him before I put down the Valkyrie, but it still hurts."

"I've never lost a close friend because I'd never had one before, but I couldn't even imagine."

"Yes, you could. You lost your parents."

"That's true, but I was three and they're not even dead. It doesn't mean it hurt less, but you had a lot more time with Bucky. It wasn't that long ago for you. I've had a long time to make my peace."

"Not something you should have had to do." He felt defensive whenever this came up. He wasn't seeing how leaving Aspen to fend for herself was a better option than staying a family.

"No, maybe not," she said quietly, "but I've learned to let it go."

They passed a mile marker that told them there were only 10 miles left until they reached Everett. "Do you know how to find the coordinates?" he asked her.

"I've put them into my phone. I'll let you know where to turn when we get into town."

They were silent for the remaining time. When a sign welcomed them into Everett, Aspen told him to take a right and keep driving for three miles. Steve signaled a turn, and they headed slowly through the city's downtown. It was a beautiful city near the water, and he wished they could stay longer to enjoy it. He half wanted to stop the car, but Aspen was staring grimly down at her phone, and he realized this wasn't the time. They left the downtown behind and then the city as they headed into the green land surrounding it. Aspen directed him to take left and they drove along the water for a time. The next turn Aspen pointed out to him was so choked with trees and foliage that he would have missed it if she hadn't said something. He turned down a winding dirt road that led into the trees. Aspen rolled down her window and rested her arm on the window frame. Steve pressed the little button on the door that rolled down his own window, letting the cool forest air waft into the car.

"We should be nearly there," Aspen told him, glancing down at her phone. "Another mile."

After a mile, he turned a corner in the bend and suddenly a building loomed up before them. "I can see how someone might have a hard time finding this place if they didn't know where they were going," he said.

"It's definitely been abandoned," Aspen said noting the tree that had smashed one of the glass windows and was growing partially up through a hole in the roof.

The building wasn't very big, more like a large barn made of grey stone. The glass windows were mostly shattered and pieces of glass lay strewn about the ground. A bit of graffiti mottled the front of the building. Clearly someone had found it at some point. He parked the car in the front, cutting the engine. "Seems quiet enough."

Aspen opened the door, pulling herself out. Steve hurried to help her, but she smiled and shook her head to let him know she was all right. They walked slowly to the front doors. The door had been chained shut at one point, but someone had cut the chain. It now hung loosely from the door handle, rusted and useless. Steve tried the door. It was weathered shut, but with an extra strain of his muscles, he pried it open. He allowed Aspen to enter first and followed. Leaves covered the cement floor and the building was open and airy – not what he had been expecting. It was more of a warehouse than a research facility. Outdated equipment lined the walls. There were still some beakers and test tubes filled with liquid though most had been broken and had stained the floors and worktables.

Aspen walked over to one of the walls, and Steve noticed shackles that had been bolted into the stone. Aspen fingered one of them, and the chain rattled. "What do you suppose these are for?" she asked.

"I'm not sure I want to know," Steve returned. "The subjects?"

"What went on here? My parents didn't shackle people like this. This can't be their work."

Steve hoped that was true, but he had a feeling there was a lot more to their research than either of them knew yet. She had told him, after all, that they had experimented on people in the 80s. Perhaps this was where their work started.

"Are these scorch marks?" Aspen ran her hand over the wall above the chains. Black stains ran upwards.

"They look like it."

Aspen shuddered and stepped away from the chains. "There are offices back there, let's see if there are any files leftover," she said, pointing toward a door at the back of the open area. A dusty plaque indicated that the Head of Research had once used the office. Sunlight slanted in through a dirty window, shedding light on a dust-covered desk. A filing cabinet sat behind the desk and Aspen rifled through that while Steve opened the desk drawers. He found a few papers indicating that half a dozen people of varying ages and genders had willfully signed up to be injected with an experimental serum. It didn't give any indication of what kind of serum it was. He shoved the papers away before Aspen could see them.

"I found something," Aspen said quietly. Steve hoped that it was nothing to indicate that her parents had had any hand in what had happened here. Somehow he didn't think it had been good. For the researchers to leave behind their files like this… Something had happened here to make them leave in a hurry and not come back. He looked over her shoulder at the age-stained paper she held.

"This is an account of the night of October 28th, 1995. 'We injected patients #1, #3, #5, and #6 with Serum #5.3 at 1600 hours. After the results of #2 and #4, we have decided to lower the dosage to .05ml. Restraints were used for caution. Let it be noted that patients agreed to this. 1700 hours. Patients seem to be showing some signs of discomfort. #1, #3, and #6 are moaning and seem to be in pain. #5 is silent but the veins on his arms are contorting in an unnatural way that can only indicate that his body is fighting the injection. 1900 hours. #1 and #6 have both begun having seizure and have been moved downstairs for medical attention. #3 seems to be stable. #5 is sweating profusely and shaking. Not clear yet if his body has accepted the serum. 2100 hours. Patients #1, #5, and #6 have been removed to separate cells after becoming hostile toward the doctors. #5 somehow managed to rip his chains from the walls and began to show aggressive behavior toward the research assistants. One injured. #3 is stable. 2300 hours. #1, #5, and #6 are screaming at the top of their lungs and appear to be in a great deal of pain. We tried to neutralize them, but they tried to attack anyone who came near. All we can do is wait and hope the reaction dies down. #3 is showing strange signs. One of our research assistants was speaking in German and #3 began to speak in German too. #3 has never learned German. Is the serum working?"

Aspen turned the page over. "0000 hours. We are under evacuation. Patients on the loose. They have broken out of their cells and have destroyed the lab. We must take extreme measures and neutralize them. These orders come from the highest authority. 0100 hours. Patients #1, #5, and #6 down. #3 has vanished. Five researchers down, four medics. This is a catastrophe. We don't know what #3 is capable of. I leave this file so that anyone who returns here may know what befell Research Facility 37. I thought we were doing this in the name of science, but people have died. This research needs to be destroyed. J.A. Adams – Head Research Assistant.'"

Aspen looked up, and Steve saw that she had tears in her eyes. "Did my parents do this?" she asked in a whisper. Steve had no answer, and she took his silence as a possible yes. "Oh, God… This isn't science, this is torture. This is Doctor Frankenstein, Jekyll and Hyde. This needs to end." She slammed the paper down.

"Do you want to go?" Steve asked.

"I want to see where they kept them," Aspen said. "The cells."

"Are you sure?"

"I just need to see."

They found the stairs leading downward and used their cell phones as flashlights. The steps were concrete, and they made it down without issue. In the dim light of their phones they could see the cells where the patients had been kept and the destruction they had caused in their escape. A medical room lay at the far end of the hall. Aspen walked past the cells slowly, running a hand over the broken and bent metal. She stopped before the door to the medical room. Steve feared what they would find behind the doors, but Aspen turned the knob, and they entered. Medical tools lay scattered on the ground and a vast stain on the floor looked unsettlingly like blood. It smelled musty, and Steve saw a couple of rats skittering around the corner of the room.

"I need air," Aspen said suddenly. She bolted for the door, flinging it open. Steve followed after her as she hobbled up the stairs and toward the main research room. She stopped abruptly, and he nearly ran straight into her.

"Well," said a voice that echoed in the dusty chamber. "I see you found our biggest mistake."