Even when they calmed down and moved away from each other, they didn't say anything. Toni knew that conversation was now inevitable; there was no way she would avoid answering at least some of Myles' questions, but the man didn't want to ask them in such a place. It was why he suggested to take her for a walk and lunch, so they could talk and she had no other choice but to agree.

"I don't even know what to say…" spoke Myles, eventually, sighing heavily. "I came convinced that you didn't tell me anything because you didn't want me to be present in our child's life and prepared myself to argue, that you should give me a chance…"

"It's not like this at all..."

"Then how is it, Toni? Are you going to deny that if it wasn't for you and Anne meeting at my place, I wouldn't have found out!" he said, feeling himself getting a little irritated.

"You don't understand anything… I really wanted to tell you..!" she protested, raising her voice a bit as well. "

"Then why didn't you?!" he exclaimed, losing his patience. She took a step away from him, biting on her bottom lip nervously, looking at the ground. "I didn't want to yell. Perhaps you could explain everything to me, starting at the beginning?"

Toni nodded her head; she was aware that she owed him that much. Still, it didn't mean that it was easy, quite the contrary; it was terribly difficult and nothing could change it. The fact that it all happened so many years ago didn't have much influence. Yes, now she could actually talk about it, while in the past she was starting to cry the moment her thoughts drifted off to this topic, but she still found herself on the edge of tears while thinking about it.

"I found out that I was pregnant few weeks after you left… Actually, it was my mom, who noticed the symptoms… She made me take the test and it was positive… I made her swear that she wouldn't say anything to my father, I knew that he would be so angry… He kept telling me how you are not the right guy for me and all…" she sighed heavily, pulling him to the side, to sit on the bench. "By some accident, he found a test… He was convinced it was my mom, who took it and she had no other choice but to explain everything to him… He was so furious… I tried to talk to him, to explain that it was the worst possible idea, but he didn't want to listen to me… He went to your parents…"

"Who in their right mind would go to talk to my parents about something like this?!"

"My dad didn't really think clearly, Myles. He was furious and his actions were led by his emotions… He made me go with him… They weren't even angry, or at least they didn't show it… At first they questioned if it was yours, but when my father threatened that he would prove your paternity and they would regret it, they asked me how much money I wanted for getting rid of the baby…"

"WHAT?!"

"They offered to give me for having an abortion, next to paying for it… You know me, I would never do it! I was angry, it was a HUGE complication in my whole life and all my plans needed to change because of it, but it was still my baby… Mine and someone I loved… I could never do anything to it..!"

"I know." spoke Myles, reaching out his hand and touching her shoulder reassuringly. "I have no doubts about that."

"I told them that I wouldn't do it and it was what made them sort of angry… They said that they would make me regret this decision… They fired my dad immediately… My mom lost her job as well and I'm pretty sure it was their doing as well… With all their connections they made sure that nobody in entire Boston and surroundings wanted to hire them… We needed to move and I'm not even sure why DC, but that's the place they chose and we landed here…"

"Why didn't you tell me anything, though? I might not be perfect, but I think I deserved to know that I was going to be a father!"

"Of course you did! And I wanted to tell you… I tried to call you, but I was never able to reach you… I even went to you, but I heard that you went out with some girl... The conversation, which my question caused, suggested rather clearly that the two of you were involved, so I did the only thing, that seemed rational – I left!"

"You must be speaking about Wendy… And we weren't involved! I simply helped her with history project because she was a younger sister of a guy, who could help me with getting access to the most exclusive student association! Do you really think that I would cheat on you?"

"Until that point, I didn't think you would… But how could I know for sure?"

"I would never, ever cheat on someone that I loved!" he raised his voice and Toni looked at him through narrowed eyes.

"Really?" her voice made it rather clear, that she wasn't convinced. "I might have pretended that I was oblivious to your conversation, but I heard one of your friends suggesting otherwise."

"Lucy…" he sighed, wincing a little. "This is a long and complicated story, but it has nothing to do with us! You've got to understand, I loved you and I considered our relationship to be serious! I was actually thinking about proposing to you, when you turned eighteen… I tried to think of a way, thanks to which we could be together even if people didn't accept our relationship!"

"YOU have to understand that I couldn't know that! What would you think on my place? I came to my boyfriend to tell him that I was pregnant, what terrified me in itself especially that his parents were very clear about not accepting it, and then I heard that he went for a date with another girl! Do you have any idea how much it hurt?!"

His mouth was already open, so he could voice his protest but it wasn't going to lead anywhere. He wanted answers and if they continued to argue about one thing, he would never receive them.

"I guess I don't… Yet, I believe there's still a bit of a story left…"

"As I said, we moved to DC… Everything seemed almost perfect… You can guess that it wasn't easy for me at school… I was not only the new girl, but also pregnant and well, people weren't very understanding… I was still hurting because of what happened in Boston, but I had Rebecca though, my parents found jobs and my baby was developing well, so what could I want more?" Myles squeezed her shoulder gently, when her voice broke and noticed a tear drop move down her cheek. He found himself feeling uncomfortable; he has never really been good at comforting people and didn't really know how to act in situations like this one.

"It happened when I was in about seventh month... I was going for a routine check-up with my dad and we were running a little late… Don't get a wrong idea, he was driving very carefully even though I was sort of nervous that I'm going to miss my appointment! He was angry at first but once he got over it, he tried to do everything to make sure that his grandchild would be fine… Still, we got hit by a guy, who just got his driving licence and I guess he was trying to impress his friends… According to the official version, he wasn't looking at the road and he didn't see a red light and he hit us on a crossroad… I actually remember that I turned to my dad, to tell him that Tommy just kicked me and everything went black…" her voice broke once again and Myles understood the last sentence with slight difficulties. He moved closer, wrapping his arm around her shoulders and she leaned to him, resting her head on his shoulder.

"The next thing I remember is waking up in a hospital… Everything hurt but I didn't care, I just wanted to know how was my baby… I felt so terrible, when nobody wanted to tell me anything and I couldn't feel him move or anything… Finally, a doctor informed me that they needed to do a C-section because it was the only chance for him to survive, but his chances were very low anyway… He didn't want to let me see him, though… My mom claims that at least half of the hospital must have heard my screams, but I managed to get permission to see him… He was so tiny, and he looked even smaller attached to all the machines… He died on my eyes…" she made another pause, hiding her face in his jacket when another wave of crying arrived and Myles sat there, stroking her back with his hand.

"A nurse later told me, that it was a miracle in itself that he survived that long… That it was as if he made everything he could to see me at least once… It hurt so much… I might have not been happy that I got pregnant, that I would have him at seventeen and I would have to give up all my dreams for him, as well as forget about a lot of things that girls my age would do, while I would have to be at home and take care of him… But he was still my baby, my little boy, who I loved more than anything in the world… And I lost him…"

"Seventeen or not, you were a mother…"

He kept stroking her back and wondering if he should hug her or do anything else, feeling a little awkwardly. At the same time, he understood her pain perfectly. He might have never really gotten a chance to experience any of this, but it still hurt him to think that because of one irresponsible person, his child – his son – never really got a chance to live.

"You know what hurt me the most? The official version was that it was a miracle that everyone survived and I kept hearing that I was lucky… People at school seemed to believe that I should actually be happy, because I got rid of a problem. Nobody ever acknowledged, that I wasn't lucky, that I wasn't fine, that it wasn't like this at all! I lost my baby, my precious little boy but nobody cared!" she exclaimed, taking a deep breath to calm herself down. "Perhaps they never mentioned him because it wouldn't look good to write about a Hispanic teenager losing her child… I don't know… Still, a part of me died that day, along with our son…"

"I… I don't know what to say…" he admitted quietly, unable to find his voice. She looked up at him, nodding her head.

"At least you're honest, Myles… There was nothing I hated more than hearing all those fake I'm sorry's…"

"This is why you told Anne, that there was nothing to talk about…"

"Yeah, because it's true… Our son is dead, there was no need for me to tell you about him…"

"I am still glad that I found out… Thanks to this, I understand some things a little better…"

He was surprised, when he felt Toni wrap her arms around his waist and she hid her face in his shirt, but placed his arms around her and held her close. She sighed, trying to suppress all the overwhelming emotions at least a little and at the same time, she couldn't help thinking that it was the way, she should have found herself sitting those seventeen years ago, when everything she related to him happened. It was his arms, that she had needed to be in; there was nobody, who would have understood her better than her baby's father and a man, who she loved and who knew her better than anyone before and after him. Even if his grip was somewhat stiff and awkward, his concern and pain was completely sincere and it was all she needed.