I hope you all have a Merry Christmas!
~nightfall26
Twin bursts attacked Azula, one a rush of blue, one a rush of orange- two bending styles, two elements, one strength. Zuko and I worked easily off of each other's energy, a habit we'd gotten from sparring together so often. Every so often, I'd feel his hand against my waist, pushing me gently behind him as he protected me from the blunt of the fire blasts.
I could see Suki leaping into the air with her familiar battle cry, her fan slicing through enemies with ease.
I could see Toph bending on the other side, rocks flying at her fingertips, sassy remarks flying from her mouth.
My brother was beside his girlfriend, his boomerang moving through the air as he concentrated solely on the enemies ahead and protecting his girl.
And Aang was there too, his moves quick and desperate.
We were all together again, in such a familiar way, but in such a different way as well.
We weren't children anymore.
"She's doing a good job."
"Not nearly as good a job as I would have done. But this is all theatricality and stupidity, which you insisted on."
"You won't win without it."
"I won't win at all, in my condition. Look at me, I'm practically a corpse."
"But they don't know that. They think you burst from your jail cell in a fiery inferno, declaring war upon the world in a great cry of defiance."
"Look at little Zuzu. He's so protective over that waterbender trash."
"She's his weakness."
"Mai's his weakness, not that piece of filth peasant! Don't insult my family line that way. It's dishonorable."
"Look closer, majesty. See how he pushes her out of harms way every so often? See how the corner of his mouth lifts when she dodges an attack? She's his weakness."
"I suppose."
"She's probably his little concubine."
"I want her head on a platter. She'd make an excellent example, wouldn't she?"
"Patience, majesty. We can use her."
"I already asked for her capture. Way ahead of you, as always."
"Of course, Azula."
zuko pov.
We were all stumbling, making mistakes that we wouldn't have made a year ago, when we were battle-ready at all times. Toph was slipping up, something unusual for her, and I blamed it on her rigid home life. Sokka looked frustrated, constantly missing his enemies when he threw his boomerang.
Even I was sloppy. I wasn't moving nearly as fluidly as I used to, and I made a mental note to train with Uncle if I made it through this confrontation.
But Katara wasn't the least bit messy. Every move she made was elegant, the grace of a thousand seas rippling through her technique and skill. Her arms were arching perfectly, dipping and flowing with each pose and not showing even the smallest bit of strain. I couldn't imagine what it took to hold up this kind of bending for long, her style was so different from mine. She whipped a heavy strand of water towards my sister while commanding another whip that knocked some soldiers to the ground.
I could sense that Aang was watching her from behind me.
Her hair had fallen loose, tumbling in long waves down her body. It was easy for her to slide under enemies attacks, to fend off fireballs, to surround herself with a whirling mass of fury that kept the soldiers at bay.
I was exhausted, already. My muscles were screaming from tiredness, from overworking an already drained body, so I reached behind me and switched to swords for a little while. At least the movements were a little simpler. But the gurgling screams that splattered blood on my tunic brought my sanity to the very edge, threatening to send me spinning into a world that I didn't want to return to. I hated killing with weapons. I hated killing at all, but to defend my Nation- to defend my girl- I'd do anything.
All of a sudden, one of my sister's attacks knocked me to the side, and my swords tumbled from my tired hands uselessly. I grunted in irritation.
"Zuko, here!" Toph kicked the swords towards me, rushing to my side to help me to my feet and dust me off.
"You okay?" She was out of breath, bent a little so she could catch herself before she returned to the fight. I nodded wordlessly, forgetting in the haze about her sightless eyes. For once, she didn't make a joke.
"Sheesh, she's really something, isn't she?" Toph was talking about Katara, about the rolling waves she commanded and the strength she was demonstrating. The palace was in the center of the city, miles from the harbor, and yet, she had masses of water at her command. I was amazed that she could draw from that far away.
"It's unbelievable." I muttered, clapping her once on the shoulder gently before hoisting myself up and spinning my swords in my hands. Once Toph had re-entered the fight, I took a long look at the scene around me.
The movements of my sister were oddly disjointed, I noticed. Her arms weren't moving as fluidly as they used to, and her mouth was pressed into a firm line of concentration instead of spewing insults. Azula didn't have to concentrate. She just bended, like the flames were just an extension of herself. There was something wrong, something very off here. Her technique wasn't exactly right, either, and Azula was never, ever wrong. Every movement she made was calculated and planned.
But this girl was a little smaller than I remembered my sister being. Just a little. Her presence didn't command our attention. Her voice didn't send shivers down the back of my neck, didn't make my heart tremble a little with old fear.
Katara leapt into the air, propelling herself off the ground with a burst of water that knocked the firebender off her feet. I swept a circle of flames around the two of us, startling the Azula-likeness even more.
This wasn't Azula. Who was she? And why was she here?
But Katara was so close, her attacks growing steadily more and more feverish as she neared the false version of my sister. As she performed a particularly difficult flip through the air, freezing an ice dagger and aiming it straight at the girl in front of us, I suddenly realized what was going on.
This was a trap. It was an articulately planned trap laid for all of us, to capture us in our natural environment. Hurriedly, I scanned the area, looking for my friends in a frenzy.
They had to retreat, they had to get out of here, they were all in danger-
Suki and Sokka had fallen back, and Aang was protecting them several paces back from me. Toph was focusing on bending a large chunk of rock towards the extensive enemy lines.
Katara was closest to the danger. But the soldiers didn't seem fazed, instead, they were forming a smaller circle that half enclosed the tanned woman. They didn't seem to be focusing much on Aang and the others now, fending off their attacks in an annoyed way, like they were swatting a fly.
They wanted her.
"No." I pushed myself forward, watching in slow motion as the face paint oozed off of the fake Azula and bore a face that I didn't recognize. Katara was right in the thick of it. Agni, she could get hurt, she could get taken, or wounded or something and it was my fault-
But that was what she wanted, wasn't it? Last time, I'd thrown myself in front of a lightening bolt for her, saving her life and ultimately getting fatally wounded in the process. Katara was throwing herself straight into the danger so that I wouldn't get hurt again.
My beautiful girl, her dress ripped and intricate webs of blood appearing on her arms from where she'd been hurt, was throwing herself into this battle ahead of me so that there wasn't a repeat of last time. She was protecting me. Agni.
"KATARA." I screamed her name, straining my every muscle to reach her, my arm extending, my fingers reaching for hers. Her chest heaving, her eyes dewed at the corners with pain and the dust of battle settling around her, she turned to look at me over her shoulder. Water was swirling around her, a blue inferno that made her eyes shimmer mysteriously. She was the picture of a Master Waterbender, a fierce warrior, a strong, independent woman- Agni, she was so fragile out in the open, I had to get to her-
"Zuko?" Her dry, cracked lips murmured my name, her hands frozen in position as she held her pose. I could see her arms were shaking a little now. Sweat was dewing on her forehead, and her legs were quivering. I was almost there, though, almost able to gather her to my chest, to protect her and take her far away from this suffering.
But just a mere second before I got to her, an enormous cage slammed down in between us, trapping her inside. It shoved her to the ground roughly, and I watched as she winced and tried not to panic. The water splashed to the ground violently all around us, drenching me, drenching Katara.
"Zuko!" This time, my name had new meaning. She trusted me to save her. Katara's fingers were scrabbling in the dust, reaching for mine, and I threw myself to the ground, grabbing her hand in one of mine while trying to melt the bars with another hand. I could hear her fast, quick inhales. She was afraid. Katara tried to freeze one of the bars and shatter it, but it didn't work. A snarl ripped from between my clenched teeth.
"That metal is intolerable to your bending." The girl who had fooled all of us rose to her feet, dusting herself off and sneering at me. How the hell hadn't I noticed?
"Katara!" Aang had noticed. How the hell had I let this happen?
Everyone had noticed. Everyone was watching the square, civilians, enemies, my friends- I was in the spotlight. Everything was slipping through my fingers so quickly, spinning wildly out of my control. The chains that were fastened to the top of the cage began to pull taut, and I grabbed them with my bare hands, running my heat through them until I could feel whoever was pulling the other ends loosen their grip. After a moment, the friction of the metal started to make my palms bleed.
"Zuko, please, you're hurting yourself." Her voice was surprisingly even and calm, as soft as the surface of our favorite pond.
"I promise, Katara, I'm going to get you out of there." I whispered brokenly, crouching and positioning my shoulder under the cage and trying to push it off her. Aang and Sokka rushed up next to me, copying my motion. Katara bended an ice dagger, throwing it at the sneering firebender and allowing a tense smile to curve her lips as the other woman fell clumsily in an attempt to dodge it.
"It's no use." Aang slumped to the ground, reaching through the bars for her hand. But much to everyone's surprise, she ignored him, turning instead to me.
"Zuko, please, come here." I crouched, getting as close to her as I dared in the presence of so many people.
"You're going to be okay, Katara, I swear, we'll get you out of here." To my embarrassment, my voice was choked up. Blood was dripping from my hands onto the dusty ground beneath me, and I was out of breath, out of shape, and seemingly unable to save the one thing left in this world that I cared about. She shook her head slowly, placing her hands on my face.
She'd never done that before, not in front of people. Her fingers moved softly against my scar, and my eyes drifted lazily shut for a moment. Aang sucked in a low gasp, and I could hear the tension crackling between us before I opened my eyes again. Her gaze was quivering with tears that threatened to spill down her bronze cheeks.
"Zuko, listen to me. I'm going to be okay. You know I can hold my own. You're going to hold this Nation together, you hear me? You're a brilliant leader. And we're going to find each other again, no matter where I end up, I'm going to fight my way back to you." Her words were so forward, so loving, so fierce- so Katara. Her hair was falling over her shoulders in chunks, getting stuck in the blood on her arms.
She was showing herself, in all her glory, to the world, and she was asking me to do the same. So I knelt even further, pressing myself closer to the bars, my hands tangling with hers tightly. I noticed a low blue light emanating from our joined hands, realizing that she was healing the deep cuts that the chains had made on my palms. I wanted so badly to kiss her. I wanted to announce to the world that I loved her, this beautiful, magnificent warrior, this woman who fought for a Nation that wasn't her own.
"Do you trust me?" I muttered lowly. She nodded, her eyes big and understanding and so sad. A single tear slipped down her cheek, and I wiped it away with a finger, languishing in what could very well have been our last moments together. Her lips were pressed together in a firm, hard line as she tried not to cry.
Just yesterday, we had a lifetime.
After searching her gaze for any shred of doubt and finding none, I did what I had been longing to do since the moment I'd first met her.
I grabbed her face with my hands abruptly, softly, pressing a long kiss to her lips in front of my Nation and my friends, baring my soul to the world. There was an intense moment of fervor between us as we remembered all that we had experienced together and all that we might never experience now. Pain and delight were surging through me, mingling, making me never want to pull myself from her.
"Agni, Katara, I love you more than words can say." My voice was shaking, breathless, when we parted. Our hands were clenched together in a mass of sweat and blood, the delicacy of the moment marred by desperation. My world was on fire. Everywhere I looked, my life was burning, the fragile beginnings shattering before my eyes.
The silence around us was weighing heavily on my shoulders, but I didn't care anymore. I stared into her eyes, those endless blues that made me shiver deep in my soul and crave her close to me.
The world knew our secret. It was a beautiful secret, one that had been whispered into our souls from the very moment we'd met.
My shoulders were shaking with the effort it took not to completely break down, not to shove myself through the bars and kill myself to get her free. I wanted to murder, to burn, to rip apart whoever was doing this, but I had to remember the lessons she'd taught me. Breathe, Zuko, it's going to be okay.
We heard the chains jostle again, and a low sob shuddered through my sweet girl. Those eyes, those cerulean eyes, were as tumultuous as the sea, raging with emotions and an utter loneliness that made me want to kill to have her back in my arms.
"I'll find you. Wherever you are, I'll find you." The cage was lifting off the ground now, the heavy chains attached to dragging it along towards the harbor. Our hands ripped apart, and a cry rose from her throat. Desperate, I pushed myself off the ground, rushing after her for a moment.
"I love you." She answered, her voice cracking, her soul burning in her eyes, lifting her hands again as she returned to her bending poses. She whipped a long water whip around herself and knocked the soldiers that surrounded all of us to the ruined ground. The faux Azula leapt on top of the cage, laughing as they surged away.
The soldiers that had been knocked to the ground got up somewhat clumsily and followed, leaving us in complete and utter horror at what had just happened. There was a quiet in the air that I'd only heard on battlefields, an unspoken horror that made us all fall silent.
"What the hell, Zuko?" Aang. I turned around, facing him with an expression that made him shrink back a little. Sokka was stunned, too, but I only walked by them, choosing instead to face my people. They were coming out of the woodworks, their faces scared and dirty in the rubble of the square. I rubbed my slightly bloodied hand over my face to rid myself of tears.
There were low murmurs between them, and I only caught snatches of what they had to say- but it wasn't good. I had to lead them. I had to do a better job than my father had.
"I will die to protect this Nation, to rebuild it, to make it more than it ever was before." I began, my voice raspy with emotion. There were snickers from the crowd, mutters, comments that I had to silence, I had to block them out or I would lose my nerve.
"I will spend my life throwing my blood, sweat, and tears into this land, and I will lead us out of this. I'll have repairs started immediately, and I'll have a medic tent set up in the main square as quickly as I can manage." With that, I turned my back on the audience that judged me as I walked away. My own people were judging me for who I loved, for the simple fact that I had professed my deepest affections for a girl with darker skin. I felt sick.
I could feel the stickiness of my own blood, the air skimming my various wounds. But I didn't feel the pain.
I walked back up the Palace steps alone.
I went straight to the war room, sending for my uncle and having him send out scouts to survey the city and the damage. Suki and Toph were the first to enter the room, dragging themselves in with an agedness in their eyes that I knew was reflected in mine.
"We're here to help." Suki offered, her arm around Toph's little shoulders. She looked so small, her clouded gaze resting on the floor.
"We knew, you know, about you and Katara." Toph murmured the blue eyed girl's name for the first time in years, leaving her nickname unspoken, as if jokes would only make us all suffer a little more. I had figured that. Katara had mentioned wanting to tell them, describing the feelings of excitement she had, like she was bursting at the seams to tell people of our love. There was an uncomfortable silence, then, itching at my senses.
"La, Zuko, I'm so sorry." Suki stepped forward all of a sudden, closing the gap between us and wrapping her arms sturdily about me. Toph joined, before long, hugging me around my torso tightly. I swallowed noisily, my arms hanging tersely by my sides. I didn't know how to react. I couldn't do this without her- she was the best parts of me, she kept me grounded.
"Knock, knock." The drawling voice of Sokka was at the door, making Suki jump back a little. Toph released me slowly, however, and I felt the sorrow in her limbs just like my own.
I faced him with a stoic gaze, unblinking, unfeeling.
"I really want to hit you." Sokka's words were straightforward. I felt the sinking feeling in my gut as I recognized how few people would stand with me now. If Katara's own brother, who I had grown to like quite a bit, couldn't support me, no one would. My shoulders slumped.
"Sokka-" Suki was incredulous, uttering his name with fury in her words and judgement raising her eyebrows. He glanced at her, shaking his head a little.
"But that's because you just kissed my sister in front of a thousand people without running after her. I feel sick, Zuko, down to my core, because I don't know if I'm ever going to see her again." He choked up, then, leaning against the doorframe to steady himself a moment. When he'd composed himself again, he looked me dead in the eye.
"You're a good man, Zuko, and you know I'd gladly follow you into battle. It'll take me some time to adjust to this new development, and I wish that you'd told me, but all I want to focus on right now is finding my baby sister." He stepped into the room, then, offering me his hand.
"Peace?" He raised his eyebrow a little, his mouth quirking up in a sardonic smile. I nodded slowly, reaching forward and shaking his hand.
"We'll get her back." I said slowly.
"I know you're going to go to whatever means you can possibly think of to find her, Zuko. Like I said, you're a good man." Sokka's firmness returning, he clapped me once on the shoulder before moving to his wife's side. The only person who hadn't come up from the battle field yet was Aang, and honestly, I didn't expect to see him ever again.
"Okay, Suki. We're going to need to set up a medic tent for the people down in the square, as well as a food tent. Can you grab the nurses from the infirmary and the cook from downstairs? Sokka, can you and Toph start on the repairs?" They nodded, and for the first time in my life, I felt like a leader.
"It's going to take a hell of a lot to bring the morale up, but after we get the square taken care of and the people settled, I'll go over the information I have and we can form a plan of attack." I cast my eyes over the many papers spread out over the map before me, wondering what my Uncle would have for me within the hour.
"Zuko, we can do this." Toph said softly.
"Together." Suki added, and I smiled weakly at them, scraping my hands through my hair.
"We'll be back in a bit to let you know how things are going." Sokka's voice was gruff and to the point, and I realized that this was the most mature I'd ever seen him act. I nodded towards him, turning away from them as they filed out of the room.
As soon as the door shut, I collapsed, my aching body tumbling to the ground. A low, dark sob wrenched itself from me, and I tilted my head back against the map desk.
She was gone.
My hand was absentmindedly resting on the spot where I'd been struck by lightening, and I shuddered before allowing myself to rock softly as the tears came for the first time in years. I could feel the injuries all over my body, I could feel the weakness in my limbs and the squeezing of my empty stomach. Bile rose in my throat as I pictured her face.
I grabbed the closest priceless ceramic bowl and dry-heaved into it, retching, feeling my body reject itself. I'd let her get stolen away again. It had been my fault, I hadn't gone after her, I could have saved her. Tears were streaming freely from my eyes now, and I could taste salt as I slammed my fists down. Little spurts of flame shot from my closed fists, but I only let my body slip to the ground in a shaking heap of agony.
"I have to find her." The words shook from me with a rage that made me see red. The blur of red on the tiled floor made my stomach turn again. Some of that blood was Katara's.
Suddenly, a knock sounded at the door, and I barely managed to sit myself up before croaking out a weary "enter". I expected it to be my uncle, bringing me tea and reassuring words of wisdom that would give me a direction to move in. Instead, however, it was Aang, his eyes rimmed with red. He'd been crying.
"I can't believe you, Zuko."
I nodded slowly. I deserved that.
"I can't believe myself, Aang." I said quietly, my eyes drifting to the blood on the floor all around me. The red disgusted me, and the rusty smell kept making my stomach turn itself in knots.
"How long has this been going on?" He was trying so hard to stay composed, to not freak out on me because I'd stolen his girl from him and his fragility was astounding when it came to her. But then again, I was the same way. Here we were, two broken souls, shattered over the same woman.
"Just since I found her in the Earth Kingdom." The words were heavy on my tongue. It'd barely been a few days since that utopia, since we'd rolled into one human and been able to express each other through movements and silence rather than words.
I didn't know what to say to the bald monk. Any apology I uttered would be false, and he'd know it.
"Look, I'm not a kid. I knew she didn't love me. I really, really hoped she did, but somewhere, I knew she was gone. You might think I'm young and naive and stupid, but I love her with everything I have." Desperation tore his words through my heart, and I lifted my gaze to his face.
"And you don't think that I love her just as much?" I whispered, finding it hard to even breathe, to even live in this eternal loneliness. Aang frowned a little, and I could see that he didn't understand.
"I've been in love with her for so long, Aang. I've loved her since the second I laid eyes on her, since the moment she offered me a chance. Nobody had ever given me such kindness like she had, nobody had blindly trusted me with so much." My fingers were playing in the growing pool of crimson on the floor.
"I'm still learning how to love someone. I've lived a lifetime in darkness, in utter loneliness, and she's the first good thing to ever happen to me. I would absolutely die for her." I looked back up at him, hardly able to hold my head up, the words coming from a place in my heart that hadn't been opened before. Aang was silent, staring at me with wide eyes.
My vision was getting foggy and blurry, as if someone had suddenly drugged me.
"Someone get help!" Aang's voice pierced the impending darkness for a moment as I felt my broken body slide to the ground. But I didn't care.
I just wanted to be with her again.
thank you so much for reading! review as always!
~nightfall26