Chapter Thirty Two
They spent the next thirty-six hours in bed, but Nathan would never admit exactly how many of them were spent asleep.
He'd thought waking up with Audrey in his arms was the best feeling in the world, until he discovered that waking up with Audrey in his arms and a soft mattress beneath him was even better. He stretched his legs, reveling in the way he could feel the tension in his muscles coil and release. The further he reached, the cooler the sheets became. Every inch of his skin was alive, even the parts she wasn't touching. It was surely a miracle.
But not as big a miracle as the fact that she had married him. He stared down at her rings and rubbed the matching band on his own finger. The metal had weight and substance against his skin, and a symbolic significance he was only beginning to comprehend. Even if they had those hundred years they'd talked about, he wasn't sure he'd ever fully understand.
He'd been so alone before she came to Haven. Perhaps that isolation was of his own making. He used his affliction as an excuse to drive people away. But they didn't understand, and he couldn't abide their pity. Solitude was easier.
But she'd never had time for pity. She didn't go easy on him because he was different, and she was curious about his affliction but not repulsed. She'd ignored all his defenses – the bristly stoicism and cool indifference - chipping away at them with her sass and persistence until it was impossible to want to keep his distance. She gave him something to care about – not just her, but the fate of the town she'd taken under her protection, and the legacy his father had left him. She deserved a hero, and she made him think he could fill that role, just so long as she was the one actually pulling the strings. It meant so much just to have her close, in his life and in his bed, sharing jokes and theories and body heat. It was impossible to be lonely when she was jabbering on, and that was true even when they were just partners, except for those terrible weeks before the Hunter.
And okay, yeah, the sex was phenomenal. Having been numb for so long there were no words to describe the rush of sensation she so determinedly evoked. There was a deliberateness to her passion, each touch meant to induce the maximum amount of pleasure within him. She made him feel like a man again, virile and strong, instead of a crippled freak. He wanted her to feel as incredible as he did, and he'd never been one to back down from a challenge. The result was like electricity surging through his veins, and that hadn't changed even though he was whole again.
Sometime in the past year he'd finally gotten lucky.
So the morning after his wedding he was content to simply marvel at his sleeping wife as he gingerly tested the feel of his pillow, the sheets, and his own skin. But as soon as Audrey started to stir he was done being patient. He nuzzled his way down her neck, pressing a wet, sloppy kiss to her throat. She squirmed away, making a muffled sound of protest, and he chuckled and followed, running his tongue across the hollow behind her ear, tasting the sweat there. "Na-than," she giggled, but her eyes remained shut.
"Tell me to stop," he whispered huskily.
"Never," she sighed. She opened her eyes and he wanted to lose himself in them. "Hi," she said shyly, blinking up at him from behind golden lashes.
She was so beautiful the word got caught in his throat. "Hi," he finally managed.
She smiled at his awkwardness. "Please tell me yesterday wasn't a dream."
He was sure he looked like a fool. He felt like one. "Wasn't a dream. Less I pulled this out of a vending machine." He held up his hand so she could see his wedding band. "But then I wouldn't know how comfortable this bed is."
She grinned. "Oh my God, that's right. How do you feel?"
He took a moment to assess. There was an overwhelming amount of data to process, but one sensation stuck out most strongly. "Honestly? A little sore."
She snorted. "You'll get used to that."
He narrowed his eyes at her. "You feel like this all the time?" he asked, incredulous and a bit repentant.
"Pretty much. Side effect of all the amazing sex."
"I'm sorry."
She laughed at him. "You shouldn't be. It's definitely worth it. At least we'll never have to go to the gym." She looked past him to glance at the clock on the nightstand and then sat up so quickly when she saw that time that he had to duck out of the way.
"How can it possibly be that late? You should have woken me."
"Just did," he told her, amused by her crossness.
She smacked him on the shoulder. "You should have woken me earlier! Our first day married, and I've slept most of it away."
He could have told her that it didn't matter. They had the rest of their lives to spend together. She needed the sleep – they both did – and it wasn't like they'd turned in early. He could have made a million excuses, and they'd all be valid.
Instead he gazed up at her with a lazy grin. "You could make it up to me."
She chuckled, a smile of her own blooming across her face. "Is that so?"
"Ayuh," he drawled with a shrug. As cavalier as he tried to sound, his body was buzzing at her proximity.
He'd thought it was hard keeping his hands off her before. He wasn't sure how he was going to manage it now.
Good thing that today he didn't have to.
Afterwards they drank warm champagne and ate cupcakes, finishing what the Glendowers had interrupted, and when that wasn't enough to sustain them they ordered room service. There was a silver frame resting on top of the tray beside their meal. Nathan knew immediately he'd like this photo better than any Dave had taken. A shot like this could never be posed. Dorothy had caught them mid-laugh. Their heads were tilted together, her's half buried in his neck, but he could still see the slant of her grin. His white shirt was soaked through and her curls were all over the place, but their eyes locked and the universe stilled. They were a beautiful mess, and he wouldn't trade it for anything.
Sometime later Audrey propped herself up against the pillows and studied him. "Is it different now?" she asked. "The sex, I mean."
Surely she realized it wasn't bad. He didn't particularly want to talk about this, but he wasn't about to deny her. "Yeah," he admitted.
"How?"
He cleared his throat, trying to buy himself some time to find the right words. "Before it was more … focused. I could only feel the parts of myself you were touching. Now I feel my whole body, the sheets, the temperature of the room. There's a lot more going on."
"Sounds romantic."
Something in her tone set off warning bells. "It still feels amazing," he backpedaled. "That hasn't changed."
"Yeah, I get it. All that distracting, normal stuff, but it's still good."
"I don't get it. Why are you upset?" Her jaw was clenched and tension radiated through her.
She huffed out a breath and closed her eyes. "Oh God. Less than twenty-four hours and I'm already ruining this. That has got to be some kind of record."
"You're not ruining anything. But I don't know what's going on."
She opened her eyes, stared him in the face, and then leaned back against the pillow with a groan.
"You can tell me anything," he reminded her. "Think that was in the vows somewhere."
"You know that I'm glad your Trouble is gone."
"Course." She'd made that abundantly clear last night, both with words and actions.
"I'm so, so glad that you can have a normal life again. I really am. It's just – this is going to sound awful – your Trouble was kind of like an insurance policy."
It was like she had thrown a bucket of ice water on him. "What do you mean?" he asked, but he was fairly sure he understood.
"I know we're about more than my immunity. I believe you. I do. That's not why we got together. But there's going to come a day when all that fades and you get tired of me. When I was the only one you could feel I figured that might keep you around a little longer."
He gaped at her, unsure how such nonsense could come out of her mouth after everything they'd been through. "Audrey—"
"Don't!" she protested, pulling her knees to her chest and wrapping her arms around them. "Just let me explain, okay? And then you can get mad, or whatever."
He nodded. She looked so forlorn that he wanted to reach for her, but he kept his distance.
"I know you think you meant everything you said yesterday, about loving me forever. But I know how this works. I drive people away."
"Audrey—"
"Please, Nathan! Just let me get through this. It's not that I don't trust you. You're the only one I do trust. That's the problem."
He opened his mouth but she glared at him and he closed it. "When I was nine years old I had these foster parents. The Reynolds. They were good people who treated me like one of the family instead of just a paycheck. They took me on vacations. Gave me birthday presents. For the first time in my life it felt like somebody cared. They had this daughter, Amanda, who was a year older than me. She swore her parents were going to adopt me so many times that I believed her. We were gonna be sisters, and I was gonna have a real home." Her voice trembled and his heart broke for her because he could guess the ending of this story. "Then Mr. Reynolds got a job out of state. Instead of adopting me they sent me back."
He couldn't stand the distance between them any longer, even if she thought she needed space. He reached out to lay a hand on her shoulder. She didn't shrug it off, but she didn't scoot any closer either.
"The next place was horrible, and the one after that was bad too, and it was even worse because I'd dared to imagine a better life. I swore to myself that I wouldn't get close enough to anyone to let them hurt me, because it wasn't worth it. I could take care of myself. And I did, for so many years. Maybe I was lonely, but I was focused and I was fine. But I've never let myself need anyone the way I need you. When you leave – like everyone does – I don't know how I'm going to go on."
She took a deep shuddering breath, tried to meet his eyes, and then closed them instead. "There, I'm done, so you can freak out or leave or whatever."
It stung that she thought him capable of that. But the need to comfort her was far stronger than any hurt feelings. She acted so strong that he forgot how similar they could be. It was weird to think he'd actually been the lucky one. As stern and aloof as the Chief had been, he'd loved Nathan in his bristly way, and he'd kept him safe and provided for. He'd never found home particularly welcoming after his mother died, but at least it existed. Audrey had grown up fending for herself, and that wasn't even touching the fact that as vivid as all these memories were, she hadn't actually lived them. He couldn't begrudge her her demons when she was so patient with his own.
He raised his hand to ghost over her face, freeing the curls that tears had matted to her skin. "Parker," he chided, soft but sharp enough to get her to open her eyes and look at him. His thumb glided across her cheek and she leaned into his touch. "I'm not going anywhere."
"You say that now—"
He moved his fingers to cover her lips. "Now it's your turn to listen to me." His other hand found hers, his thumb rubbing over her wedding bands. "There's a lot in this world I can't control. Living in Haven we know that better than most. I can't swear that nothing will keep me from spending the next fifty years with you. But these rings are a promise that I'll never choose to leave you. When we fight we'll work it out. If heaven forbid the sex gets boring we'll find a way to spice things up. But I'm in this for the rest of our lives. You can't scare me away and I'm not going to get tired of you. How can I prove that to you?"
Her eyes were welling with tears again and her chin trembled. "I'm not sure that you can," she whispered.
But that was unacceptable. "I'm sure I can come up with something." He racked his brain for things that would let her know he was serious but get her to smile. "Let's see." He leaned back, pretending a nonchalance he didn't feel, but he kept hold of her hand. "I could give up pancakes."
Her eyes widened, but she didn't comment.
"Or sell my truck."
Her fingers tightened around his and she gnawed at her lip.
"Maybe I could get a tattoo that says 'Property of Audrey Parker.'"
"You would not!" she squeaked, bumping him with her shoulder.
"Yeah I would."
"Where?" she challenged.
"Wherever you want," he said airily, glad she'd come out of her funk a little.
She reached under the sheet and brushed her fingers over his hip. "How about right here? 'Property of Audrey Wuornos.'"
"Even better," he said with a grin.
She was tracing the letters into his skin, and it took all his willpower not to reach for her. "It'd hurt," she said, and he should have been worried she was contemplating this but he was too glad she seemed to be cheering up.
"Bring it on."
She stared at him for a few moments before breaking into a smile. "You're a goof," she said with a laugh.
"There's my girl." He reached out to cradle her face, surreptitiously brushing her tears away. "I mean it though."
"You love your truck."
"Love you more."
"I don't know how you'd live without pancakes."
"I'd manage. You're sweeter anyway." He pressed a kiss to her neck, running his tongue across her skin to prove his point. "There's nothing you could ask of me I wouldn't give you."
"I'd never ask you to do those things," she whispered.
"I know," he said solemnly.
They stared at each other in the dim light, nose to nose, and he willed her to see herself the way he saw her – strong and enchanting and beautiful.
"You're really not mad?"
He pushed her hair behind her ear, reveling in its softness. "I've spent all day in bed with my smoking hot wife. Mad's not even in my vocabulary."
She collapsed against him, burying her head in his shoulder as their bodies molded together, the sheet between them. He wrapped his arm around her and pulled her even closer, his hand rubbing a comforting trail across her bare back. "I know this town's given you a lot to worry about. But you never have to worry about the way I feel about you."
She sighed, her body rising and falling like the tides that had surrounded him all his life. She was his rhythm now. "Be patient with me? Remind me that when I forget?"
He nuzzled against her. She just fit there in his arms, like he'd been made to shelter her. "Every day if I need to. I promise."
His arm was asleep when he woke, but it was worth it when her gloom seemed to vanish with the tingling.
He would have been content to stay in that bed forever, but the following morning Audrey declared that she needed some air.
"Let's go to breakfast," she chirped, uncharacteristically chipper considering she hadn't had any coffee yet. She tugged at his arm and then wrinkled her nose. "You need a shower first though."
She was just as sweaty as he was. "You too. Join me?"
But she shook her head, leaned forward to give him a quick peck on the lips and then pushed him away. "You go first. I'll be there in a few minutes."
Puzzled, he complied. Clarity hit him with the water. She was giving him the space to turn the facets from frozen to scalding and back just so he could experience the range of temperature without someone watching, the privacy to test out every toiletry that had been provided without feeling self-conscious that he was fascinated by how cool and sticky the shampoo was and how the soap slid across his skin. He was grateful that she'd allowed him this private rediscovery, but it was still more fun once she'd joined him.
She was the one who noticed the hot tub.
Once they finally made it to the restaurant Audrey slid into her usual chair. "Two orders of pancakes," Nathan said before the waitress had even laid down the menus.
"Oh no," Audrey corrected. "I'll have a ham and cheese omelet with a side of bacon. Extra home fries. And coffee. Might as well leave the pot here. But he can have my pancakes." She tilted her head toward him and flashed the waitress a grin.
"I know you can live on maple syrup, but I need protein," she declared once they were alone again.
He chuckled, disinclined to argue. He'd be impressed if she ate all that food, but he'd seen her do the like before, and they had been working up quite an appetite.
As soon as Joan brought their coffee Nathan wrapped his fingers around his mug, shocked by how quickly the heat seeped into his hand. He dipped the edge of his thumb in the liquid and pulled it out quickly. "I wouldn't drink that yet," he advised.
Audrey laughed, dumped in some more cream, and cradled the mug without tasting its contents. "So I guess I'll have to go to the courthouse when we get back."
"Why?" he asked, still fascinated by the temperature of his coffee. He wasn't sure he'd be able to tell yet when hot was too hot.
She looked at him as if he was a little thick. "To get my name changed."
He felt the shock of his heart skipping, coffee forgotten. "You're gonna take my name?"
"Of course. Unless you don't want me to."
But he did, and that want of this unexpected gift was welling up inside him so fiercely he stumbled over his words. "No! I mean yes. Yes I want you to. As long as that's what you want."
"Why wouldn't I?"
He felt entirely upended. "You're a modern woman," he stuttered, "and I just thought—"
"That I wouldn't want your name?" Her bluntness stopped him in his tracks. He hadn't thought he was that transparent. Unless that was how she felt?
"Yeah," he admitted.
She shook her head, frowning. "So here's the thing. If I have to give up my insecurities, you need to work on yours. I chose to marry you, and if you were worthless that would say something about my judgment, wouldn't it? So you ought to stop being so hard on yourself. If you can't do it for yourself, do it for me."
She was a wonder, his Audrey. "I'll try," he promised.
She reached out and grabbed his hand. "Shouldn't have been so shocked. I said something about this last night."
It was like she had branded him. He could almost still feel her hands burning the letters onto his hip, and his throat went dry. "Thought we were joking around."
Her lips twitched. "We were. But I meant it. I want the world to know you're my husband. Besides, Audrey Parker's just a name those in the Barn picked for me. Audrey Wuornos is real."
There was a strange tightness in his chest, his emotions manifesting physically, and though it wasn't comfortable he wouldn't trade it for anything.
"By that logic I'm not sure Nathan Wuornos is real either." But the thought of that didn't make him feel sorry for himself this morning. It was just another way they were alike.
"You're nothing like Hansen – the one who fathered you or the one that betrayed Prudence. You deserve to keep the Chief's name alive. Now I get to help with that."
"Thank you," he said, the words inadequate to express how much that meant; how much all this meant.
"I just have one request."
"Anything."
She looked down before she said it, a sure sign that she was nervous. "Could you still call me Parker every once in a while?"
He grinned to think that meant so much to her. At first it had been a sign of professionalism, but it hadn't stayed that way for long. "Yeah. Think I can manage that."
"You better. I'm going through a lot of hassle for you. I looked it up – there's a lot of paperwork involved. I wasn't going to start it until I was sure the Guard wasn't going to knock us off in two weeks."
He didn't like to hear her joking about how close they'd come to running out of time, but the very fact that she could was miraculous. All the stress and fear and uncertainty of the past months had disappeared with the dawn. He couldn't remember the last time there hadn't been anxiety buzzing in the back of his mind.
Joan brought their food, and Dorothy followed shortly afterwards. "If it isn't my favorite couple. I didn't expect to see you for a few days."
It was so strange to feel the blood rushing to his cheeks.
"Needed some air," Audrey said, unabashed. "But the room is lovely."
"Thanks for the picture," Nathan added, grateful to the woman despite her innuendo.
"Least I could do, dears. When are you leaving for your honeymoon?"
"Oh," Audrey squeaked. "Huh."
The idea had honestly never occurred to Nathan when their long term survival hadn't been guaranteed, and he did a poor job disguising that fact.
"Now see here young man," Dorothy scolded. "I'm glad you've come here to celebrate, but any place you visit regularly is hardly a proper honeymoon destination. I know you work hard, but you can take a few days off to take your lady somewhere special."
"We could go somewhere, couldn't we?" Audrey asked once Dorothy had gone, tutting disapprovingly.
The idea of sneaking away with her was extremely appealing. Just the two of them in some place normal. No work. No Troubles. No Duke.
"Where would you want to go?"
"Someplace warm and far from here. Maybe a beach where we won't get called in about dead bodies? Since we don't have passports I guess—"
"Why wouldn't I have a passport?" he interrupted.
She faltered. "I just thought…"
"That because I grew up in rural Maine I wouldn't have a passport? Why Mrs. Wuornos, that's extremely condescending," he teased. It was so rarely that he got her flustered, and he intended to take full advantage of that.
"Do you have a passport?" she asked, face adorably scrunched in confusion.
"Yep," he said smugly.
"Where have you been?"
"Canada."
She laughed. "I'm not sure that disproves my point."
"Thanks," he said dryly. She smirked back at him.
"Well, I don't have a passport, and I'm not sure I'll be able to get one since I've got a double in Boston, so we'll have to pick somewhere in the US."
"I'm sure Duke could get you one. For future use."
She stopped mid bite, her eggs hanging in midair. "Wow, Wuornos. I can't believe you just suggested that."
He shrugged. "It'd be nice to travel the world with you."
That was a little more touchy-feely than they usually got in public, so he wasn't surprised when she turned her attention back to her breakfast, spearing some home fries before looking up at him. "We could start with Hawaii," she said tentatively.
It sounded like bliss. "We could leave tonight. I'll buy the tickets."
"Can we really do this?" The tone of barely contained hope in her voice reminded him that as cynical as he'd been, she'd had even longer to know only heartbreak – centuries longer.
But they were starting a new pattern. The idea had taken root in him, like the killer plants that could only be stopped by love, and he wasn't about to be deterred. "I don't see why not. Town should calm down, everyone's normal again. There are enough officers to deal with regular crime. Heaven knows we never used any vacation time since you showed up."
"What about Bernie?"
That psychopath certainly wasn't going to be what stopped them. "Stan can pick him up. I don't expect he's going anywhere in a hurry. So what do you say? Come away with me?"
The smile that stole over her face was dazzling. "Yeah."
He leaned over the table to kiss her, and she squealed and gave in, her hands reaching out to clamp his shoulders and he felt the fabric press against his skin. When he pulled back he stayed close, pressing a playful kiss to her nose. "I do have a request," he whispered. "Can we try out the hot tub before we go?"
Her resulting grin promised all sorts of delightful, wicked things. "Absolutely."
Back at the Gull they found Duke entertaining the youngest Benton girl with a stack of waffles and a magic trick. When he reamed them out for leaving their hotel room too soon Audrey countered with a few very explicit examples of what they'd been up to before sweetly asking for a ride to the airport. Although Nathan didn't approve of anyone knowing the details of their sex life – particularly Duke – he had to admire the way she'd made the smuggler blush and shut up.
He'd married one hell of a woman.
James drove.
Nathan was determined not to complain about feeling anything, ever – or at least until the newness wore off – but after they boarded the airplane he couldn't help thinking how the flight would be more comfortable if he didn't feel the way his legs were wedged beneath the seat in front of him.
He must have failed at hiding that discomfort even though he didn't voice it, because Audrey patted his thigh with a sympathetic smile.
"We'll spring for the extra legroom next time."
"That's not necessary."
"That's not what you'll think by the time we get there, partner."
Half an hour after takeoff she'd already stolen his peanuts and was talking a mile a minute about the celebrity gossip she found in the magazine left in her seatback pocket. He wouldn't have guessed she even knew who these people were. He recognized a few names from the days before the Troubles, but really, who had time for trivialities when the world was falling apart around you?
An hour later she was fast asleep against his shoulder, and he knew he'd be sore when they arrived – and long before that – but he couldn't bring himself to mind. She was adorable when she was sleeping, and blissfully quiet, and they were really leaving Haven together and it wasn't for a case or an investigation into her past.
He was a lucky man, cramps and all.
Their first stop after the airport was a department store.
Neither of them had many clothes suitable for a tropical vacation, so they'd basically skipped packing and resolved to buy what they needed after they arrived.
Even though television had taught Nathan that women were persnickety about men's opinions on their clothing, Audrey whined so much about being a terrible shopper that he figured that was a hint she wanted his help. He didn't know anything about women's fashion – and he told her so – but he did have an eye for color.
Her wardrobe in Haven was made up of neutral colors, grays and white and black. So he chose blouses in jewel tones and sundresses in lively island patterns, wanting to see the way they'd accentuate her bright eyes and pale skin. She made faces at some of his selections but tried them on anyway.
Eventually she shooed him off to buy his own clothes. Once he'd finished she'd bought everything he suggested as well as several outfits she wouldn't show him and a garish blue and orange Hawaiian shirt he swore he'd never wear.
(That was a battle he'd lose long before the week was out. Of course he knew that.)
In Haven the shore was rocky, the ocean rough, and more often than not he only made it to the beach when there'd been some sort of crime.
Hawaii was paradise, miles of white sand meeting calm blue sea.
As soon as they picked out their chairs Nathan toed off his sandals and stripped off his shirt. The sand was so hot it stung his feet, but the particles were small and soft. His eyes closed the second the sunlight hit his chest and he sank back against the lounge, savoring the sensation. He could surely get used to this.
After a few minutes Audrey cleared her throat and tapped his shoulder. "You need to put on some sunscreen."
He looked up at her and gulped. She'd left the hotel in a flowery dress, but now all she was wearing was a red string bikini. He'd seen her in far less, of course, but never in public, and the fact that everyone else on the beach could see her too was not lost on him. But the desire to tell her to cover up was counteracted by the realization that would obstruct his view as well, so he kept his mouth shut.
She must have noticed the way he was staring, because she smirked and cocked her hip as she shook the bottle at him.
"Time to lather up."
"Don't wanna," he whined. "Sun feels so good."
"Won't feel so good when you're burned to a crisp. I've got big plans for this trip. I need you in tip top shape."
He wanted to squirm at the leer in her voice. Instead he sat up and turned his back to her.
He twitched when the first cold glob of sunscreen hit his shoulder, but soon he had to bite his lip to keep from moaning as her talented little fingers rubbed the sticky liquid into his skin. Even though the sun's rays were dampened he could still feel them through her gentle massage, and it was all a haze of chemical sweet perfection.
It was over too quickly. "There," she said. "Now you can do your stomach."
"Or you could do my stomach," he begged. "Please." He had no pride in that moment, and no desire to reclaim it. He just wanted her hands on him.
She laughed, low and throaty. "All right. But just for today."
He turned and she sat beside him on the lounge. He watched her as she set to work, her lower lip caught between her teeth in concentration as she drew her hands across him deliberately. It tickled, and he wanted to laugh but he didn't dare break the spell.
She finally pulled back, her eyes raking down his chest. "Time to do me."
His little minx handed him the bottle and turned. He swept her hair over her shoulder first, mindful of the way she shivered when his fingers brushed against her neck. He squirted a bit of sunscreen into his hand and dabbed at it with his fingers, testing its consistency before he began spreading it down her back in gentle circles. Her skin was already warm and she arched back into his touch. He could hear the subtle change in her breathing, and she had a sweetness all her own that mingled with the smell of the sunscreen. Intoxicated, he pressed a kiss to the juncture of her shoulder. Her soft moan spurred him on, and he kissed further up her neck as he reached for the red bow that was taunting him.
The strings had just begun to fall away when she squeaked "Nathan!" and wrapped her arms around her chest. "We're in public," she scolded, but her low, breathy voice made it sound more like a dare than an admonishment.
He'd forgotten himself, but he wasn't sorry. "We could change that."
Glancing around for peeping toms, she reached behind her neck to re-tie the suit and then stood up and took a few steps away from him. "Uh-uh. I did not fly across the country just to have sex with you. We could have stayed in Derry for that. We're at the beach and no one is dead, and I'm going to enjoy it. You're just going to have to behave yourself until the sun goes down."
"You started it," he pouted. He'd been perfectly content at the beach until she'd ensnared him with her bikini and her lotion.
"And we'll finish it later. But right now I'm going to go have a swim. You can join me once you get control of yourself."
He called out as she started to walk away. "Could you just stand there a sec?" he asked, finally concerned about who might be around and watching.
She looked him up and down very deliberately, and then stood up even straighter. "Is that really going to help you calm down?" she teased.
She didn't need to wait for an answer. "Don't take too long," she called over her shoulder. He watched her walk away, and that wasn't helpful at all.
When he finally made it to the ocean the water was warm but refreshing, but the best part was the way Audrey dived into it so fearlessly, laughing as she pulled him down beside her. They splashed around until he could actually feel the strain in his legs, and though she wouldn't share a chair with him afterwards she pulled hers close enough that her shoulder brushed against his as they laid out in the glorious sun to dry.
Every day was a new adventure.
They went snorkeling and parasailing and climbed volcanos, and it took Nathan three days to realize why. At first he thought it was just her thirst for adventure, because she was the one doing all the planning. But they were in the midst of their hike when he noticed the way she was watching him and realized this was just a continuation of her wedding night fantasy – just with more clothing. He could feel again, and she was making sure he made the most of it.
Her consideration meant more than he could ever express, but honestly the press of her wedding rings against his finger when they held hands or the brush of her eyelashes against his bare chest felt better than any adrenaline rush. Still, every excursion she planned made him feel alive and exhilarated, and everything they saw was almost unbelievably beautiful.
Only once did he pick the activity. She'd told him once how much she'd loved dolphins growing up, so he found a place to go swimming with them. She'd teared up when he suggested it, but by the time they arrived she was bouncing around like a little kid, exuberant and fascinated in turns. A photographer documented the experience, and Nathan bought the entire CD just for the photo of the moment Audrey first touched the dolphin, because the awe on her face was surely exactly how he'd looked when she'd first kissed him on the cheek.
He didn't tell her how much he appreciated what she was doing for him, but every night he tried to show her. Their mornings were filled with adventures and the afternoons were often spent at the beach, but the nights were for the two of them. It was a good thing they had slept so much the day after their wedding, because they weren't sleeping much now. They teased and flirted and denied themselves all day long, but at night they made up for it and gave into the yearning.
Every morning he woke, somehow sated and aching for her simultaneously, and the cycle continued.
Their hotel had a golf course, and Nathan should have suspected something was up the minute Audrey suggested they play a round.
She excused herself to visit the bathroom once they got to the clubhouse, and came back wearing perfume that was surely meant to drive him insane.
He'd seen her buy the bottle at a marketplace the night before, but he hadn't heard what the saleswoman whispered to her. He didn't know if it was just his heightened sense of smell or if the perfume was actually designed to turn men into animals, but he'd never so desperately wanted to take her right where she stood, propriety be damned.
But from the look she gave him she had at least some idea of what she was doing to him, and that gave him just enough strength to rein in his urges and drive them to the first hole.
She was all coquettish innocence as she insisted he show her how to swing the club, and as she leaned back against him he nearly ripped her clothes off. Her neckline gaped as she leaned forward. She was wearing the bra she'd worn on their wedding night and good lord he wanted to feel that satin again.
There was no cover whatsoever on the whole damn course, but he actually considered whether the golf cart would hide them if he pulled her down to the ground.
His erection was painful and it was by far the worst game of golf he'd played since he was fourteen.
She was so terrible he still beat her soundly.
She had a surprising amount of power for a woman with no experience, but her aim was awful. He knew she was an amazing shot with any firearm, and her deficiency with a golf club seemed to aggravate her as much as it amused him. As the game went on she focused less on seduction and more on her technique, but it hardly helped. But concentrating on her consternation allowed Nathan to get a better handle on himself.
By the eighteenth green she was steaming.
"Damn perfume didn't work," she whined after another double bogie. He sunk his second par of the day, dropped his putter, crossed to her in three strides and kissed her hard.
"Worked all right," he growled into her neck, holding her against him so she could feel exactly how much. "And if we don't get back to our room in ten minutes we're gonna get arrested for public indecency."
They made it in eight, though they didn't get any further than the wall for quite some time. He made her pay for all the torment she put him through.
They didn't make it to lunch that day. Or dinner.
Or breakfast.
On their last night in Hawaii there was a luau at their hotel. Whatever drink they were handed went down sweet but packed a powerful kick. Despite Nathan's initial reluctance soon they were dancing around the fire with the other guests. They stumbled back to their room sometime after midnight and made love. It was sloppy and silly and they laughed the entire time.
The next morning Nathan woke with flowers around his neck and a killer headache.
He was still determined not to complain about any feeling he was blessed enough to have - but damn his head was pounding.
He looked at the bedside clock and swore softly. "Audrey." He poked at her shoulder and she groaned and pressed her face deeper into her pillow. There was still an orange blossom tucked behind her ear, though it looked rather trampled. "Our flight leaves in three hours. We have to get up."
"Don't wanna," she slurred.
He didn't either. But it was more than not wanting to drag his screaming body from the comfortable bed and cart their luggage to the bustling airport. He didn't want to leave this sanctuary, where it was just him and Audrey and a beautiful, kind world. He was getting used to having her to himself, and he didn't want to give that up.
"We could stay."
She grunted in approval, but after a few moments she tilted her head and looked at him. Her eyes were slightly bloodshot, and there was crust in the corner of them.
"We'd miss our flight."
"We could get another one."
"Much as I don't want to get up, that seems extreme."
"Not if we stay for another week."
She pushed the hair out of her face and studied him. "You're serious."
"Yeah." He smiled, but it pulled something in his head so he settled into a more neutral expression.
"You already bought the tickets."
"I don't care. Every cent will be worth it for another week here with you."
"You really mean it? We could just – stay."
"Live a little, Parker. For once in your life throw responsibility out the window. Another week in paradise. What do you say?"
Their eyes locked, and he could read all her reservations. Bernie might still be at large, and who knew how the townsfolk were coping with normalcy, and whatever would the station do without its Chief and its best detective.
God, he didn't care. He should – but he didn't.
She smiled, a timid smile that lit up her face as she sunk back into the pillow. "I say you should go get us an extension on this room, hubby."
He leaned forward to peck her on the cheek before he slid out of bed. The world swayed and his stomach churned, and he resolved never to drink so much mystery liquor again.
"Nice necklace you got there," she pointed out with a yawn as he looked for his shirt.
"You've got one too," he pointed out, tweaking the blossom behind her ear before dropping his lei over her head. The flowers fell between her bare breasts, making her look like an island goddess.
His goddess.
"Hurry back," she advised, snuggled back into the covers.
She was sound asleep by the time he returned half an hour later. His hangover wasn't gone, but he'd gotten used to the discomfort.
He knew he should let her sleep, but he couldn't contain his excitement. "Wake up Parker." He plucked the flower from her hair to run it across her shoulder, and when that didn't work he shook her.
"Week two of honeymoon starts tomorrow," she mumbled.
"We've gotta move rooms, babe."
The pet name got her to open her eyes. She scowled but didn't swat him, and he wondered if he could get away with it a second time.
"Why can't we stay here?"
"Cause they're giving us the honeymoon suite."
"What's so great about that?"
He grinned wolfishly. "It's got a private beach."
Turned out that was more fun in theory than in practice, thanks mostly to how small beach towels are. He rolled off her right into the sand and she found that so funny he dragged her down with him. Neither of them appreciated all the places sand ended up, and she swore she was never having sex with him on a beach again. His manhood required him to object on principal, but secretly he agreed that was probably a good idea.
But the beach did have a private cove, and she made no such promises about the water.
The next day it rained.
"Hope this isn't some kind of cosmic sign," she groused as they watched the monsoon outside their window.
"Must be," he countered. "Universe doesn't like two week honeymoons. Too much sex."
She rolled her eyes at him. "Don't take this the wrong way, but I cannot just have sex with you today."
He'd never admit it, but he wasn't sure he was up for that either. But he puffed out a labored breath and narrowed his eyes. "I'm offended you think that's the only thing we could do when we're stuck inside."
"Less we can scare up some crime or a mystery to solve."
He scooted toward her until their hips brushed, and he used her distraction at that to snake his arm behind her back and run his fingers down her waist. He knew how much that tickled, and just as expected she squirmed into him.
"That really all we have in common?" he whispered, feigning hurt as he tilted closer, his lips a few centimeters from her neck. "Attraction and crime fighting skills?"
"I don't know. Maybe the hotel has a decoupage class."
He nipped at her throat for her sass, his fingers traveling lower till he found a spot that made her gasp. "Or a vampire fanfiction workshop."
He captured her breathy laugh as he rolled on top of her.
Her fingers dug into his back, but there was still irreverence in her tone. "Pancake eating convention?"
He pulled back with wide eyes. "Really? We oughta get dressed then."
Her legs locked around his hips. "So not happening."
Afterwards he couldn't keep himself from smirking.
"What?" she asked, her voice crackling with fond exasperation.
"You're the one who said we weren't going to have sex."
She shook her head in a shimmer of gold. "For the record, I said we weren't going to have sex all day."
He crossed his arms. "Not sure I believe you now."
"Your fault, you know. You're awfully convincing when you don't have any clothes on."
"Just when I don't have clothes on?"
"Certainly helps," she quipped.
"I think I've figured out what we should do," he said, changing the subject, pretending to be offended when in truth joy was rushing through him like a good buzz. Banter had been effortless between them back in the beginning of their partnership, before Lucy and Sarah and Jordan and everything that had torn them apart and worn them down. He'd missed the synchronicity.
"Round two?" she teased, and he almost gave in, because God, why not.
He could spend the rest of his life in this bed with this woman, give up pancakes and driving and living, and never complain.
But she'd said she needed a break, and they weren't animals. They still had another week alone, after all.
"Never did find you a favorite movie, did we?"
"Nope. Got a little distracted." She stretched, her raised arms giving him a lovely view, but he kept a grip on his self-control. "You remember that?"
"Not supposed to forget conversations with your best friend."
They ordered pizza and beer and curled up on the palatial couch. He flipped through channels, picking movies he thought she'd like. She provided a running commentary through Jurassic Park. He dozed in her lap through Casablaca, her hands running occasionally through his hair in the quintessence of comfort. She was the one who slept through Batman, unimpressed by the billionaire's angst.
Shortly after The Wizard of Oz began he knew they'd found a winner. She sat alert and enthralled, her hands fisted in the hem of the "Hail to the Chief" t-shirt which secretly filled him with pride each time she wore it. If he happened to be wearing a certain extra bright Hawaiian shirt at least no one else saw him in it but the man who'd brought their room service order.
As the credits rolled he grabbed the remote and lowered the volume. "What did you think?" he asked, studying her closely in the dim light cast by the television.
She blew out a breath that disturbed the hairs that fell around her face. Her forehead wrinkled as she gnawed on her lip.
"She just wanted a place to belong," she said, and it wasn't an answer at all but he understood. Usually he was the one who couldn't find the words.
Luckily they didn't need them.
"Welcome home, Dorothy," he whispered.
By day eleven they were beginning to wear on each other's nerves.
They were used to spending nearly all their time together, but apparently nearly was the key word. Back in Haven there were times they had separate angles to work, and she'd periodically disappear to have lunch with James or hole up in her cupcake room with a trashy book. He had meetings he had to go to as the Chief, and on the rare occasion he'd even stop at the Gull for a drink and a bit of testosterone.
In Hawaii it was just each other.
He loved Audrey dearly, but she was always talking, and he needed quiet. They were both getting testy when she declared he ought to go play a round of golf, because she was going to the spa.
He spent the walk to the course ruminating on her unwarranted sharp tone.
He spent the first hole cherishing the solitude. He could hear the ocean in the distance, the sharp cut of his club through the air, and an occasional seagull. None of them demanded anything. None of them talked back.
By the third hole he was doing the calming exercises he'd learned when his Trouble came back, focusing on the intricacies of nature around him and how his other senses assured him he was still part of this world. It had calmed him then – or at least he'd pretended it did – but it wasn't doing anything for him now.
By the tenth hole he was bored out of his mind.
The course was beautiful and he was playing well, but there was no one to tease him when he missed a shot and no one to gloat to when he sunk it. The first time he made a birdie the trash talk was on his lips before he realized she wasn't beside him. He was used to playing alone and had never felt the need to brag, but he didn't have many chances to one up Parker, and that had become important.
He could imagine her pout, her laugh – and the way she'd rubbed up against him, smelling like sweet temptation.
She'd ruined golf for him. Now he would always prefer it as a seduction game.
He knew his dependence on her wasn't healthy, and he'd seen firsthand the damage it could wreak. So he stayed and finished his game instead of running back to her.
But he didn't hang around the clubhouse afterwards, and he spent the walk back wondering how long she could possibly stay at the spa.
He was relieved to find her out on the balcony when he got back to their room. Her arms were wrapped around her legs as she stared out at the ocean, and her toes were painted a bright pink.
"How was the spa?" he asked, all his earlier annoyance evaporated.
She shrugged. "Fine, I guess."
"Just fine?" he prompted, shocked by her succinct answer.
"I don't understand why people make such a fuss about them. You don't even want to know how much it cost to have them paint my toenails – and this color is ridiculous." She wiggled her toes, and he couldn't help but agree. It was a fine color, but it was absolutely wrong for her.
"Did you get a massage?"
She wrinkled her nose. "Not sure why I'd pay hundreds of dollars for a stranger to touch me when I have a hot husband who'll do it for free."
"Good answer." He hoped she could hear how genuinely he meant that, because her words made his heart swell in his chest. He sat down beside her. She had said something about his hovering this morning, but he couldn't help himself – he reached out and grabbed one of her hands, running his thumb across her soft skin. Her fingernails were the same shade of pink.
He could hear the slight hitch in her breath. If his other senses were going to dull now that his sense of touch had returned, it hadn't happened yet.
"So I guess you didn't relax."
"Not really," she said wistfully. "How was golf?"
"All right," he answered automatically. But there was something in her tone that made him think that she was fishing, and he wanted to be honest with her, even if it was a little uncomfortable.
"I missed you," he admitted.
She squeezed his hand, and they both blurted "I'm sorry" almost simultaneously.
She smiled, and the tension he hadn't be able to get rid of on the course vanished. "I am all for some space when we get back to Haven, but no more honeymoon alone time, okay?"
"Yeah. Though I think we should go back to the spa together."
"Don't tell me that you want a couple's massage."
He chuckled at her disgust. "Nope. But we can buy some oil."
"I love the way you think, Wuornos. Dinner first though?"
He stood and pulled her up after him. "Dinner first."
On their last night they skipped the luau for a picnic on their private beach. Once the food was gone they took a walk through the surf and watched the sunset.
Parker watched the sunset, anyway. Nathan watched her. She'd left her hair down most of the time they weren't adventuring, and while on a few occasions she'd shoed him out to the balcony to wait while she spent what seemed like hours curling her hair, tonight it fell in its natural waves, the unruly curls stirring in the breeze that came off the ocean. The hem of her skirt fluttered too against her bronzed legs. She'd left her sandals with the picnic basket.
He'd always appreciated that his partner was tough as nails. The fact she could kick anyone's ass was sexy as hell, and aside from never quite learning how to prepare for a Maine winter she was efficient and practical, and he respected that. Here in Hawaii she was softer, more feminine, and he hoped she wouldn't lose all of that once they got back to Haven. He liked seeing her in dresses and color, but most of all he liked how unburdened she looked when she smiled, like the weight of the world was no longer on her shoulders.
He was different here too. She'd commented more than once how silly he was acting, but he couldn't help it. Every morning he woke up to realize that she was safe and he was whole giddiness welled up inside him and all he wanted to do was make her smile and laugh and believe in this impossible happiness they had been given. He'd never expected to feel like this; hadn't thought that is was possible. He loved her so damn much and the fact she loved him back and they finally had a lifetime to spend together made him ecstatic.
She looked back and caught him gawking. Her eyes lit up at whatever lovesick expression he was probably wearing, and he realized he didn't want to rely on showing her how he felt – he wanted to tell her.
"Thank you."
"For what?" she asked, so airily it was almost a giggle.
Audrey Parker, giggling. He was thankful for that.
"Everything." The answer was automatic and true, but he could see it roll over her as just one more example of his sappiness, and that wasn't good enough.
"For making sure I felt so much during this trip," he clarified.
She looked down at the sand, and he wanted to break her of that shyness anytime things got too personal. "Am I that easy to read?"
"Nah. But I like to think I'm pretty good at it."
Her smile was wry when she looked up at him. "You're the only one that is."
"There's something else." He took her hand. "I was a little worried. That once I could feel again this – us – would become normal." From the way she stiffened he knew she had worried that too. He raised her hand and kissed it, and he could feel her skin ripple under his lips. "I was wrong."
Their eyes locked and he felt the weight of her full attention. "Even now that my nerves work when I touch you it still feels like electricity. There's this rush that I never want to stop and it doesn't matter that I can feel other things. I just want to feel you."
She pushed up on her toes and kissed him. He fell into it gladly, moaning a little as her fingers sent sparks racing across his scalp.
Afterwards she kept her forehead pressed against his. "I never doubted you nearly as much as you doubted yourself."
She stepped away to continue down the beach. "I'm still glad to hear it." She wriggled her fingers so he would take her hand, but he put his arm around her shoulder instead, pulling her gently against his side. She tilted her head against him and matched his stride.
"You're so good to me," she said after a rare moment of silence. "I wanted to return the favor. I want you to have everything you've ever wanted."
"I already do." There was only one thing that could make his life any better, but he wasn't going to push her on that. She'd already told him she wanted it too. Knowing that one day she'd have another child with him, he could wait as long as she needed. They had time now, and he did rather like having her to himself.
"That easy to please, huh?"
"Yeah. Because our entire courtship has been a piece of cake."
"Courtship? Seriously. You do realize I'm not Sarah, right?"
"Accent gives that away," he said drolly. "Haven's an old fashioned place."
"I can't believe we're going back tomorrow."
"We don't have to."
She looked up at him, but he could tell the idea wasn't quite as appealing to her as it had been the first time.
"Your savings are going to run out eventually."
"Not next week."
"We have to face reality at some point. I think it's time. This has been amazing, and I think we should come back sometime. But I miss James."
He envied the bond those two shared. He knew the man was his son, and he wanted to get to know him better, but he hadn't internalized it yet the way she had.
"We're going to go fishing sometime. Decided that before the wedding."
"That's great. I know it's weird. He says he doesn't need us to be his parents, but he deserves it you know? And so do we."
"You're amazing," he declared, leaning down to kiss the crown of her head. "Guess it is time to go home."
"I've never had a home before."
"You do now." He stopped walking so he could face her properly. "But we don't have to stay in Haven if you don't want."
"Where else would we go?" she asked, cocking her head.
"Anywhere you want. Big city girl in a post-Trouble Haven … it's going to get dull. If you want to start fresh somewhere else I'd understand."
He'd tried leaving Haven once and been unable to manage it, but he'd give it up for her without hesitation. A big city wouldn't be lonely with her beside him. He could build a life anywhere as long as they were doing it together.
She shook her head. "I should want to leave, all the awful things that have happened there. But it's like you told James at our party – Haven gets under your skin. I'd like to see what it's like when it's not falling apart."
"If you change your mind just say the word."
"I will." She looked out at the water for a moment, and then grabbed his hand and pulled him back toward their hotel.
"You know, if we're going to stay in Haven, we could start looking for some land," he suggested. "Find an architect to design our dream house. White picket fence. Dog in the yard. Sea monster in the pool."
"With the Troubles gone, sea monsters will probably be hard to find."
"Empty swimming pool then."
"You already have a house," she pointed out, and it was the tone she used when he was moving too fast and that was starting to freak her out. "You worked hard for that."
"I bought that house because I didn't want to spend one more minute under my father's roof. It served that purpose for a long time. Would be nice to have something that was ours, not mine. Something started out of love and not spite."
"That does sound nice," she admitted. "But maybe we can wait a little while? Settle into this normalcy stuff before we get even more domestic?"
"We can wait as long as you need. Or we don't have to move at all. It was just a thought."
She squeezed his hand. "A good thought. Your house is only really big enough for two, anyway."
His head jerked to the side at her implication, and she laughed at his eagerness. "Someday," she promised.
He grabbed her by the waist and hoisted her in the air, and she shrieked and locked her arms around his neck as he spun her until they were both dizzy. "I love you, Audrey Wuornos," he swore.
"Good thing. Cause I love you, Nathan Wuornos." It was a rare instance where she had the higher ground, and she leaned down to kiss him until both his lungs and arms were burning.
"What do you say we end this honeymoon right?" she whispered once he set her down. "One last swim," she suggested, glancing pointedly at their private cove.
He had his shirt off before he'd formed a coherent thought. "Race you," he dared as he took off at a run.
I am SO SORRY about the delay in this chapter. I spent most of the summer working, and then moving, and then traveling … all kinds of real life stuff. I had hoped to finish this fic before the new season started, but probably we need this fluff more now that we did two weeks ago, so I hope you enjoy. There's one more proper chapter, and then two epilogues coming, and I'll try not to take so long.
If you forgive me for keeping you waiting, please let me know what you think. I need some positive Naudrey energy, because Mara is killing me.