A/N: The Italicized part is a flashback, so no one gets confused. Anyway, enjoy! :D

At A World Party

I sat in the back of the room, staring at nothing in particular. I didn't want to be there at all, but I was doing it for Tina. She came first. Tat was a thought that had often run through my head. Especially recently. My withdraw from everyone hadn't been noticeable yet, but only because I did social events for Tina. I couldn't say that I was involved though... Only in body was I there. As long as she was happy, it was fine. If I had to talk... I'd make sure I'd push my feelings aside and do the best I could to try and keep my 'normal' self on the surface. Well... they were all excited about something America had just come up with. England was muttering about it being completely dumb, but there was a small spark of pride in his eyes. France was thinking of a way for it to improve his "amazing seduction" skills. Oh dear God. All I heard from China was an angry "Aru!" It would've been funny if I would've been myself. But I wasn't. No one had seen how bad Transylvania had hurt me. And it just added to my... family... issues. Even so, I still put on a brave face and tried my hardest. Yet... a dark side of me had control of most of my mental state. That part of me wanted to hurt people and yell at them. Tell them to go away ad leave me alone.

But, I didn't do any of that. I just backed away from them and my temper got a lot worse. No one noticed. The voice whispered to me 'They don't care. They never really did. Stop being such a child.' And I fought the temptation to listen to that voice. For a while.

A month later at Anya's house

Screaming very loudly. It was making my head hurt. My ears were hurting too. Why wouldn't it stop? Oh yeah... It's me. I took a gasping breath, and held my pillow tightly to my chest, tears running freely down my face. My chest was burning... aching. Something was squeezing my heart. "Stop!" I screamed, "STOP! PLEASE!" My voice got down to a sobbing whisper of a young child. "Please... Make it stop. It hurts... It hurts." The reason I was hurting was plain as day to me. Nothing could be mistaken for it.

'You're completely alone.'

'You'll stay alone.'

'You'll die alone. And no one will care if you're in pain. Because they hate you!'

I whimpered and pleaded for my mom to come back. Or my dad. No one was there though. No one ever was when I really wanted it. It was strange... When they were there, I didn't want them to be. When they were all gone, I wanted someone to be there. At least... just ONE person. And no one really got it. Again, no one did. Not really. I told Tina virtually everything, but she couldn't completely get it. Just like I couldn't completely get her. I wanted something... Something I couldn't exactly explain. The small light of hope I held safely inside of my heart was dimming and being layered thickly in darkness. Thorns. Ice. Horrible feelings that I'd never felt before.

My sense of self was completely disappearing. The fight within me seemed to be over. I was now almost literally dancing with death. And it was tantalizing.

I shook myself from my thoughts and sighed. I wondered if Tina waould end up showing up. Her and I had gotten into a big fight before I disappeared. It was over something so stupid! She was always jealous of any guy I'd talk to... It was really annoying. I still missed her a lot. I wasn't angry about it, nor had I been for a while. In fact, I laughed about it. Why she always let some guy come between us, I'll never know. It was no time to brood about things of the past. I decided it was time to leave.

I walked down the street, shaking myself from dark thoughts. Today, I was determined to have fun and be happy! With a devious smirk, I flipped, my platinum blonde hair behind me and strutted down the sidewalk. A thought came to mind. It was odd, considering who said it so often. 'Fuck yeah!'

Yeah. I was feeling good. I felt like Gilbert's "awesomeness" had gathered inside me and was ready to burst! A grin spread across my face quickly as I walked. I was almost to Spain's house. Nervously, I pushed my over-sized sunglasses up and slowed my stride only slightly. Romano was there. He was outside getting... some kind of Spanish food. I wasn't sure what they grew at Spain's house. Whatever it was, it was exotic to me. I mumbled a song that popped into my head to calm my jitters, "I got trouble, trouble trouble always knockin' at my door. Yes, I'm a whole lot of trouble baby. Just like a kid in a candy store..." He was right there. I knew it was him and damn he looked good. He wore blue jeans and no shirt; his shaggy chocolate brown hair hung in his face and sweat beaded up on his tan skin. My heart beat faster than I thought it ever could. This was pure insanity!

"Hola, Romano!" I called with a small smile. I was hoping my Spanish didn't sound as horrible as I thought it did. But, apparently it was because he studied me for a moment with a blank expression. It turned to shock when he realized who I was. Maybe my Spanish wasn't that terrible after all!

"Miss Anya?" he said with wide eyes. I nodded and waved. He ran to the gate and opened it up. "Come in, please. Go on in. Antonio is waiting for you. I'll uh... I'll be in in a minute..." His words trailed off and he looked around in embarrassment. He was so adorable! It took all I had not to giggle like a schoolgirl. Instead, I nodded and headed into the house.

I took maybe three steps inside when I heard a "!" and was glomped with the force of a bull. Tina. She had decided to come after all.

I gasped for air and smiled at my small friend. "Privjet, syestra~ Nice to see you too." We started laughing and lay side by side on the floor.

She looked like she'd been doing good. Her short hay-blonde hair was straight and shiny. She wore her signature sailor suit of white and blue with her white Barret. Some things never change; this time it was good. As where I had waves in my hair still, dark circles under my eyes still, and wore blue jean shorts with holes in them and a white t-shirt with a black vest over it, and black boots. That was just something simple for me. I felt underdressed even for a walk around to see friends. I stood up and gave her my hand to help her up just as Antonio walked around the corner.

"Ah, I thought I heard the sound of beautiful laughter filling my house." He flashed a movie-star smile at me and opened his arms up for a hug. Immediately I ran over and gave him a BIG hug! Geeze, I missed all of my friends so much! Plus, he was Spain: tall, tan, kind smile, georgous as ever, and twice as charming as I remembered. I promised myself not to stare at his ass. Though I knew he walked a certain way just to taunt those of us who looked.

"When did Tina get here?"

"Hmm... she arrived shortly before you."

"Was that tall, dark haired guy the little bambino that I remember?"

"Si~ That was Romano! Isn't he something?"

"Yep!"

Tina put her arm around me and winked. I rolled my eyes because I knew exactly what she was thinking. She didn't even have to say it. Already, I could tell that Tina wanted me to go get cozy with him. THAT wasn't going to happen. He was not... well it wouldn't happen. He was a different type than me. Or, that's what I was trying to convince myself. Romano was a... complicated matter. Nice to look at, but not good for me to be involved with. Antonio patted my head and smiled that easy smile. "Why don't we all sit in the living room and catch up, huh?" Tina and I nodded simultaneously and followed him to the living room.

About an hour later we were laughing and talking about old times with everyone around.

"Ah, yes, I remember Fredka smelled like soy sauce for a week after that!" I said with a laugh.

"Hahaha! Yao got him good that time!" Tina added. We were giggling about how Yao and the rest of us had blind folded America and bet him 20 hamburgers that he couldn't swim through the pool blindfolded. Only, the pool was filled with soy sauce, courtesy of Yao Wang, the Great Land of China! Heehee~ We lost, of course, but we knew we would. It was worth it to see the look on Fredka's face when he realized we'd tricked him.

Antonio sipped some tomato juice and leaned back in his chair, "Si, but we all helped with the prank. Especially Arthur."

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Romano watching us from the hallway entry. He seemed to be studying all of us and looked a bit envious... and lonely. Didn't Antonio spend time with him?

"Oi, Toni! Where's Romano?" I asked casually. Antonio didn't get to open his mouth before Romano spoke up.

"I'm right here, Miss Braginski... I was um... about to join you all," he said. It looked like he'd cleaned up after working in the garden. He had on a pair of clean denim jeans and a black short-sleeve shirt. To put it mildly, I wanted to drool because he looked good. I mean reeeally good. I blinked a few times and smiled warmly.

"Ah. Ok I was wondering if you'd come talk with us. It's nice to have more people around."

Well, the last part was kind of a lie. I hated big groups, but this was ok. This small of a group I was still some-what comfortable with.

The rest of the night went by with tales of Antonio's raising of Romano, old tales of my conquering, and random stories from Tina. Romano was angrily adding his own commentary to Antonio's... endeavors as a big brother and 'parent'.

Eventually, Tina had to get back to her people and take care of little Sealand. Sweden was waiting for her too of course... They'd been married for a while now. Antonio got called off to do something urgent shortly after she left, so Romano was left to seeing me out. My Spanish friend invited me to stay longer, but I didn't want to disturb him from his work. That, and I could feel an urge to be closer to the Italian when Antonio was out of the room.

Romano and I were at the front gate when he finally broke our silence.

"Miss Braginski...?"

"Da, Romano? Oh uh, by the way, you can call me Anya."

"Oh, alright... Anya. I was just wondering if you would... like to hang out sometime. Just us. Tonight was fun, so I thought maybe we could-" His words came to an abrupt halt as his face got a little red.

I nodded, "I'd love to hang out with you, Romano. I had fun and enjoyed your company a lot."

And so my night ended with Romano Lovino Carriedo-Vargas asking me out on a sorta-date-non-date-thing. Yay for me! But... once more, my mind flashed back to a long ago night when I first laid eyes on the beautiful Italian boy. That was the part that made my heart flutter. With worry.