hello my darlings!

this is about to be a very serious chapter, so for now:

warning: this chapter contains M rated material regarding violence/abuse.

I love all of you, and thank you to my lovely 3 reviewers, sweetpotatopumpkin, storyoftheunknownfangirl, and Aaliyah92! Ya'll are so sweet for taking the time to review, please do so for this chapter too if it's not too much trouble!

xoxo,

nightfall26

Even so, I was happy that the gods had lead him into my life when they had.

"Let me know if I can do anything to help, Katara. I know you're stressed, and you'll be facing many obstacles in the coming weeks, so I want to make myself as available as I can to you. We're friends, you can ask anything of me." A broad smile curved his lips upward, and I felt my own grumpy facade cracking.

Startling us both, I turned to him and wrapped my arms around him, much like I had on the day I'd declared my forgiveness towards him. And just like that day, he stiffened at first, not sure what to do with the physical affection.

It took him a moment, but before long, his arms looped around my shoulders and we stood like that for a time.

When he left, I felt warmer than I had in forever.

katara.

I didn't want to drop my palms to fall on the floor, but at this point, I really didn't have a choice. They were so heavy. I cradled my bare hands in my lap for a minute, forcing my back to stay straight, forcing myself to stay in a sitting position with my knees pulled to my chest. The chains wrapped around my ankle were a weight I'd never known. I shut my eyes for a moment, concentrating, focusing in on the place within myself where I should feel my connection to the spirits, to the elements, to my bending. But there was nothing but a gaping hole in its place. I shuddered for a long moment, sighing, dragging my hands through my hair and trying desperately to keep myself from sagging to the floor. I pressed my back to the bars behind me, feeling the chill but yet hardly affected by it anymore. I felt cold all over, down to my core.

This was so wrong. I focused hard on the darkness in front of me, frowning. But no matter how hard I squinted, no matter how long I stared, I couldn't see anything in front of me.

Was I on one of the ships out in the harbor? I couldn't tell. The sea wasn't calling to me. The water wasn't embracing me. My breath rasped through my chapped lips over and over again, the pace slow, the intake of breath a little more of a struggle than it had been before.

"She's in there. The chains are working, there's no fight left in her." There was a voice in the darkness now, a voice that I didn't know. I clenched my fists together and managed to sit up a little higher for whatever- or whoever- was coming. The light that glittered just beyond my gaze made my stomach turn a little.

I wanted it to be Zuko so badly. I wanted it to be him in the disguise I'd come to know so well, the mask painted in shades of blue, the inky dark clothing that allowed him to blend into the shadows of the night. But the fire was only that of a candle, and I knew all too well that this wasn't Zuko.

"Pull her out of the cage. She wants to see her." The gruffness of the voice forced my muscles to lock, as they always did when I felt threatened. I wanted to fight, I wanted to defend myself. But I was as weak as a ragdoll in the rough hands of the men who yanked me forcefully from the floor of the cage.

"Grab her hands." Chains were wrapped about my wrists, harshly, snagging my skin in places and tugging it painfully.

"There isn't any way you can possibly escape this, water bender. If you're quiet, you won't get much trouble." The guard holding the candle in front of me stared me down with an impassioned glare, his mouth a firm line. I knew he was cautioning me against whatever was about to come, so I nodded once, drooping a little in the calloused grips of the men that forced me along a dark hall.

What had happened to me? Why wasn't I fighting? Katara, the Master Waterbender, was being taken so easily. How was this possible? I eyed the heavy charm on my ankle with disdain. It was the reason for my docile nature, for my heavy limbs and the emptiness in my heart.

When the guards came to a halting stop, they knocked on a panel above our heads twice.

"Coming up." The door slid away, revealing a stream of daylight that made me squint. I reeled away from it a little, my head resisting the change. But I was hauled into the glare anyways, like some kind of cargo.

"Ah, here she is. I was beginning to wonder where you three had gone. Did she cause you any problems?" I knew that voice. Bile rose in my throat, the bitter taste making my face screw up in disgust.

"No, my lady. She can barely stand." Stubbornly, I lifted my head a little higher as I was shoved around to face my kidnappers, defiant against their claims. My legs shook, even so, and I hated the weakness.

"The peasant girl bows at last."

Azula.

"Like I'd ever bow to you." I hissed, pushing myself to stand as straight as I could, even though my insides were squirming with fear and my knees were trembling. She raked a hand through her black, knotted hair, a disconnected laugh burning through the space between us. Her cheeks were hollowed out, like someone had taken a spoon and scooped the healthy glow from them. There was a fragility to her now- a dangerousness that reminded me of a wounded animal. And, as always, her eyes were twin balls of hate that spit insanity back at me.

She nodded once to the guard closest to me, a smirk curving her pale, thin lips sadistically. I anticipated the blow that came, the heavy handed feeling of the steel armor that would surely leave a bruise on my back. It knocked me easily to my knees. Easily.

My fingernails were digging into my palms with frustration at this weakness, this sickness that made me as easy to knock over as a stack of cards.

"That's better." I could see how thin her legs were from this angle, and I wondered for a moment why she wasn't standing along with the rest of them. Something was wrong here, something was very wrong.

I closed my eyes for a second, assessing the heartbeats of the people around me. Azula's was much quicker than anyone else's, which could have just been a product of her insanity. I remembered when Zuko had first had her detained to the underground prison, I'd felt his hand gripping mine with an inhuman strength as he'd watched his sister dragged away in heavy iron cuffs that bound her feet and hands.

"Do you know what you're here for, peasant girl?" The same guard leaned over, grabbing my face in his coarse hand and forcing it up so that I was looking straight at her. She was openly grinning now, her head swaying a little, the black hair thinly whipping across her face in the breeze. We were on the deck of a ship, that was for sure. I could smell the salt in the air.

I refused to answer her, now.

"I'll take your silence as a no. You're bait." I could hear the scratching of her nails against the wood of the chair she was sitting in. I bit my bottom lip as I felt the guard hovering above me release my face from his insensitive grasp, hissing in pain as he yanked my head up by my hair harshly. The burning of my scalp made my head a little clearer.

"I don't think she understands, my lady." A man was standing next to her, wearing a heavy red cloak that draped over his head and concealed the top half of his face from view. His jaw was covered in a thick, dark stubble, and his hands were folded in front of him. Azula reached up, dragging her fingers clawed with red nails that came to careful points along the stranger's jaw.

"Shall we explain, pet?" She was teasing me. Azula loved games.

"You're bait for my brother." Azula sang, clapping her hands together gleefully. Her words slid along me in a slimy, horrifying way, making my skin crawl and my heart leap into my throat. No. No. This couldn't be happening.

She was using me to get to Zuko.

In that moment, I realized that I couldn't let him find me. I couldn't let him come rescue me- even if it meant that I'd die in the process. He had to live. He was Fire Lord now, he was all that the Fire Nation had, and he was one of the last hopes that this fragile world had.

"Isn't it such a terrible plan?" She tittered, sitting forward, her yellowing teeth bared in my face. I clenched my jaw back at her, my eyes narrowing, refusing to show emotion. That was exactly what she wanted. She wanted to see my pain, my utter agony at knowing that she intended Zuko to die- and that I would have a hand in the death of the only man I'd ever loved.

"Just imagine how he'll scream your name." Azula whispered lowly, her stinking breath easing over me like a cloud. A low growl escaped my tightly locked jaw, purring through my lips like a silent battle cry. I couldn't contain it now, couldn't keep the searing fire of anger at bay anymore.

He'd come for me, fighting against the masses of men that she'd summoned to her side, his jaw locked in determination as he struggled to free me from his hell. I could see his face. I could see those golden eyes, piercing the darkness that tainted this world as he ached to bring me to safety. He'd call my name, and I wouldn't be able to do a damn thing. Blood. There would be so much blood, staining the porcelain skin that I'd traced with my fingertips and laid my head on. So much blood, matting his hair, pooling around his feet.

No.

My arms tensed against the men that held me, and for a brief moment, my strength returned- just enough for me to rip my arms from the guards and leap at her. Hands extended, I grappled with her, managing to land a blow against her cheek. But just as soon as I'd freed myself, I was grabbed again and forced down to the ground with a firm knee in my back. My face was planted against the slippery boards of the deck.

"Such an animal. What I wouldn't give to be able to put you down." Azula spit at me, the saliva sliding down the side of my face that was bared to the sunlight. I shuddered a little as I felt the cold steel of a sword resting on the curve of my neck.

"I can end her right now, my lady. He'd come after her anyways. There's no way he'd know if she was dead." The cloaked man murmured, his voice raspy with desire, with an endless thirst for blood to spill. I recognized the yearning that colored his words as the same emotion that had eaten lesser men alive- like Zhao, like Yon Rha, like Jet- so many that had stooped to murderous things in order to further themselves. I shut my eyes lazily against the tip of the sword.

Better to end it now. Better so that I couldn't see the spill of innocent blood that I knew was to come.

"No." Of course. That would be too easy for her, wouldn't it?

"I want him to see her killed in front of him. I want him to see her fall, and I want him to blame himself. He'll be happy to die then." Azula's nails were digging into my cheeks now, lifting my head, forcing me to stare into her eyes again. She tossed her ratty hair once, twice, wrinkling her nose at me.

"We'll get you ready like a lamb for sacrifice, peasant. It'll be as beautiful as poetry." I felt one of her nails break the fragile skin of my cheek, but I didn't allow myself the luxury of wincing.

"Allow me to teach her a lesson, at least, my lady." The cloaked man bowed to her a little, placing the sword in Azula's lap. She nodded once to him, sitting back and releasing my face like she was getting ready to be entertained. I felt the knee lift from my lower back, I felt the hand in my hair again, tearing me from the ground and forcing my aching body into a sitting position again. I was too tired for this.

The man slipped his hood back, away from his face, exposing a pair of closed eyelids. Blueish veins had risen along the flesh of his cheekbones and around his eyes, and a dark red rimmed his eyes as if he were wearing some form of macabre makeup. When his eyes opened, the red irises shocked me enough that my lips parted with fear. Whereas a normal human would have colored irises surrounded by white, his were red with a strange, dark black sclera that made my blood run cold.

And then it happened.

Fire rose out of thin air, dancing through the space between us in a way that I would usually have laughed at. Zuko had eased my primal terror of fire, eased the nightmares of my mother being ripped from me due to that once-evil element. He'd teased me with it, made me laugh at myself, at the Fire Nation, at him.

But now, a cold sweat had broken out along my skin and I begged Tui and La for my bending back so that I could save myself from a pain that I knew was coming.

And come, it did.

Before I could catch my breath, the fire blossomed along my skin, making my head rear back and a guttural scream tear from my lungs. Burning. Aang had burned my hands. Zuko had burned the drapes, once. I'd laughed.

My whole body had just ripped into flames, like pulling the cord of a hot air balloon and watching the fire suddenly burst into being. There was no inch of myself that didn't hurt, no part of me that had any relief from the sudden, unexpected sensation.

This must have been what my mother had felt before she died. I felt sick. I wanted to die. I needed to die. This must have been what Zuko had felt when his father had given him his scar. La, Zuko, I'm so sorry. So sorry. I never wanted you to go through this pain, I never wanted anyone to go through this.

It was like I had a new understanding of my mother's death and of Zuko's suffering. This was like being dipped into hot, searing oil, like being tied to a stake and watching the flames lick at my heels. My flesh withered, burning, the smell tearing at my nostrils, making me collapse to the deck, my own screams so far from me. I couldn't stop the tears from coming, I couldn't stop the whimpers, the obvious show of weakness that made me hate myself with a pained fever. I wanted to die, in that moment, I wanted to throw myself off the deck into the cool waters and never surface again.

When the fire extinguished, I was rolling in agony. My back was arched. My hands were scrabbling for something to grip onto, yearning for hands that I recognized, and I realized that I'd been screaming Zuko's name.

"He won't save you, Waterbender. No one will."

zuko.

I was sitting on the floor, now, my head cradled in my hands as I tried hopelessly to assess the situation. I was weaker now than I'd ever been in my whole life, weaker than I felt entirely comfortable with. I'd been injured before, but not to this extent. The poison must have done this damage.

"Zuko, please. I can't let you go on this mission. It's reckless."

"You know I have to save her, uncle." I managed to heft myself back to my feet with a groan, struggling to pull myself up as my hand gripped the edge of the map table with some difficulty. He sighed a little.

"You're Fire Lord, now, Zuko. You just can't go off after her, you rule an entire Nation. Your responsibility, first and foremost, falls to your people." I bristled at his words, rounding on him with an anger that always festered inside my heart.

"How can you say that? You know how much Katara means to me! She's just as valuable to the world as I am." I snapped, my hands curling into fists. Uncle shook his head once, twice, his eyes sad and weary.

"As much as it pains me to say this, she is replaceable to the world. You aren't."

"She's not replaceable. Katara is a Master Waterbender, one of the only surviving master healers-"

"And you love her." Uncle knotted his hands together, sitting down slowly and staring at me levelly. I was quiet for a second, fuming, roiling in the idea that she could possibly be seen as something that could just be thrown away.

"I don't see what that has to do with anything." I hissed, defensive, my shoulders broadening until I felt myself swell to my full height.

"You know that I adore Katara just as much as anyone else, but think of it this way. It's probably a trap set for you by Azula, and Katara is most likely their bait. They want you to go after her so that they'll have you, the invaluable Fire Lord, and they can take the Nation and put anyone they want on the throne. Don't let your emotions cloud your judgement, nephew." His tone was so cold, it sent chills down my back. I knew he was right, and that was what killed me.

"Agni, she's so fucking invaluable to me." I let one of my clenched fists slam against the table, sending sparks flying into the air as I did so. Another sigh came from Iroh's tightly pressed mouth, and I knew how difficult this had to be for him.

Before either of us could speak another word, a sound drifted from the cracked doors of the balcony. I frowned, striding to them with some difficulty, pushing them open and feeling the wind whip my hair against my face.

"What is that sound?" I whispered, pushing my aching body to the balcony edge, my hands grabbing at the chill of the stone beneath my fingertips. I strained, listening, hearing the clatter of people beneath me in the courtyards, hearing the bustle of life in the late afternoon sun.

I shut it all out, closing my eyes, taking a deep, steady breath before hearing the sound amplify.

It took me a long moment to figure it out, but when I did, my eyes shot open and I staggered against the railing, choking on air.

Screams. They were screams.

Not just any screams, they were Katara's- not to mention she was screaming my name. My Uncle was behind me, his hand on my back, his mouth hanging open a little in horror. I slammed both of my fists against the stone, silent cries of pain forcing themselves from my tight lungs.

"I have to go after her." I choked, shoving his hands off me and falling to my knees. I could barely keep myself up. I couldn't even fucking stand. My hands knotted in my hair, tearing at the strands, pushing against my ears, trying to block out the sound of my own name ripping from lips that I knew as well as my own.

"Nephew-"

"You can't stop me, Iroh, don't even try." I pushed myself to my feet again, forcing myself up, my legs aching, tears bubbling in my eyes as I shouted for one of my servants to bring my armor and to ready the best men in the guard. He knew he couldn't stop me. He knew he never could have. Not a single thing he could have said would have stopped me from throwing myself after the girl I was so hopelessly in love with. I'd do anything for her, and he knew it.

Aang was grabbing at my arms, Toph was begging me not to go, Suki was arguing with Sokka as he strapped on armor of his own and promised to go with me. Uncle was hurriedly trying to explain that the screams couldn't reach here from the harbor- there was no possible way, unless somehow they'd amplified the sound to give me more of a motive to go after her.

"Please, Zuko, please listen to me, it's a trap-" He pleaded, desperation in his eyes. I hadn't seen him that upset in so long, but I didn't care. There was no way I could care. I was so willing to die for her, if I had to. My life was nothing in my eyes any more. I knew it was selfish, but Katara was worth my life- and more.

Suki's hands were moving against my wounds as my servants readied my armor, and I could see how much she hated herself for not being able to do more for the tears in my flesh. Her eyes were wide, glistening with fear, with tears that she'd shed when Sokka and I walked out the front doors. Suki's hands shook as she patted my last bandage in place, and I carefully placed my hands over hers, nodding to her once in reassurance.

"I"m so sorry, Zuko, there isn't much I can do-"

"Drink this, Zuko." Sokka interrupted his girlfriend, handing me a vial of clear liquid. I smelled it first- it was liquor.

"Liquid courage." He said tersely, downing a shot of it himself before nodding to me and pulling his boots on. I tipped it into my mouth, feeling the burn as it slipped down my throat and warmed me. I shook my head against the sting of the alcohol, against the burning of the memories of the last time I'd had anything to drink.

That'd been the first time I'd kissed Katara.

Damn, I had to stop doing that. I rubbed my hands through my hair, letting my men strap me into tight fitting armor that would hold my various bandages in place. Hopefully.

A small assemblage of men stood in the great hall, all talking lowly amongst themselves to Sokka as he tried to explain our makeshift battle plan. Things were moving so quickly now, but I couldn't stop. I couldn't get off this train until she was safe again.

I turned briefly back to Suki, mumbling under my breath, "I'll bring him home to you", while still managing not to make any promises. I clapped my hand on each of the men's backs, nodding to them respectfully before buckling my twin swords on my back.

Once the doors were pushed open, I lead my band of men through the darkening streets as quietly as I could manage, but still people noticing that I was leaving. Their quiet glances and nods were more than I needed, they were silently acknowledging that I was going to do my best to save everyone.

"Ready?" Sokka muttered, his hand on my arm.

"Are you ready?" I said somewhat sardonically, smiling a little through the fear, smiling a little through the utter pain. He chuckled a little.

"I told you I'd follow you into battle proudly, Zuko. I still want to beat your ass for making out with my sister, but somehow, I think you'll love her right if we make it out of this mess." He said softly, giving me a playful shove. I turned, my eyes meeting those of all my men for a brief moment.

"Let's go." I said pointedly, waving us forward into the nightfall.

The harbor was a fairly decent walk from the palace, but we moved as quickly as I could manage. I hurried, despite the tiredness in my legs, despite the agony in my lungs. I tuned out the pain in my various wounds and kept myself moving, kept my head down.

But when we got to the harbor, I forced myself to lean on Sokka a little for support. A soft whine of pain whispered from my lips, and I barely disguised it with a cough, trying desperately to stand tall and failing miserably. I wanted to throw myself into the water, now, except for the small fact that I was an awful swimmer.

I couldn't believe my eyes.

"Damn." The single word that Sokka uttered was filled with a pain that was swelling in my own chest.

katara.

They tossed me in a new cell, this one dirty and smelling like an animal. The hay that was scattered along the floor was coarse and painful against my wounds, and I pushed myself into a corner, scrambling back, away from the beasts that had set me on fire like I was nothing but a shred of paper.

I whimpered quietly to myself, nursing my wounds by tearing pieces of cloth from my already ragged dress and wrapping my seared forearms and calves gently in them. I hated that I couldn't bend. I hated it. I cast a pained glance out of the barred window, the little hole that allowed for nothing but a tiny breeze to remind me of the ocean that surrounded me. I tilted my head back against the paneling, refusing to cry. They owned me if I let it bother me. I had to restrain myself from caving, I had to think. I could get out of this somehow, I had to get out of this. I had to save Zuko.

I flinched a little as the door in front of me slipped open, slowly, revealing a face that made me shudder involuntarily in fear. Those eyes frightened me- I couldn't help it. I stared at him brazenly anyways, forcing myself to sit taller, to stop my hands from shaking so badly from exhaustion. I could barely move my leg at this point, the chains were just too heavy.

"Such a spirited one, aren't you?" The stranger cooed, his hand sliding down the edge of the door, watching as he made a clear line of blackened wood under his hand. The flesh was so pale, so thin, and I could see every vein. I swallowed noisily, not enjoying how exposed I felt. I couldn't feel it anymore, I couldn't feel the blood pulsing just under the fragile skin of this odd bender. Whereas once I would have thought this was a blessing, the strange way his eyes were dragging along my body made me hate that I couldn't snap his neck right now.

I wanted him to stop looking at me like that, "What do you want?", my response to his wandering eyes as biting as I could manage. A low chuckle teased along his lips and he stepped inside the cell, the door sliding closed behind him, shutting with an audible click.

Click. It was such a final sound.

My hands were still bound, and I could see places where the metal was rubbing my flesh raw. My hands were bound.

Tui and La, I was completely helpless to this man's whims.

zuko.

"They're out to sea. The ships are out to sea." I hissed, barely containing my burning anger. Sokka was stunned, I could see it, a long sigh lifting his shoulders.

"We have to find a way to go after them." He said softly, reaching over to loop my arm around his shoulders as he helped me back along the road.

"We'll go after them, Zuko. We'll get her back." He promised, and as he did so, I shut my eyes.

Darkness called me, beckoned me, and I fell into it as Katara's screams burned in my mind.

Zuko, please come for me-

The next thing I knew, I was lying in my bed in the infirmary again, somewhat undressed. The silence numbed me, made me feel colder than I'd felt in my whole life. The sheets beside me were so painfully empty, and my face pinched with an aching sadness.

I'd failed her. I'd failed Katara.

I had to go after her, no matter what. So I forced myself to my feet, limping, my body barely able to do what I asked of it. It wasn't that long of a walk to the map room, but it was a struggle for me. Every step was trembling with weakness, every move I made hurt.

"I hate poison." I muttered to myself before pushing the doors open. Everyone was in there, sitting in a circle and planning. They looked up at me with wide eyes when I entered, surprised, perhaps, that I was up so quickly.

But Iroh patted the empty chair next to him silently, and I sat down with a quiet understanding that everyone in this room was ready to support me.

"We're going to get her back, Zuko. All of us. This is an act of war against all of us- Katara means more to us than anything." Aang said quietly, his hand resting briefly on my shoulder, his grey eyes trembling with a deep emotion.

"She's our home." Toph's voice was soft, and I noticed that she was clutching at Suki's hand in a vulnerable way that I'd never seen before.

I glanced around the room at all the faces I saw, from Toph to Suki to Sokka to my Uncle and finally back to Aang. Everyone's eyes were haunted with a despair that echoed in my own expression. We were all grown up now, we were adults. We'd grown before we were supposed to, risen to occasions that we should have never experienced- events too horrifying for most adults, let alone a band of bedraggled children.

Some of us were barely teenagers, I was nearing twenty, and yet we'd seen more pain and suffering than most people did in entire lifetimes. Katara had held all of us together in times where we'd been hopeless, broken, and exhausted.

She'd given us a light in the darkness.

General Lee sat next to my Uncle, his face stern but his eyes soft. Some of my advisors, the more loyal ones, were gathering various battle plans together in the corner and muttering about the army's budget.

I nodded once, rubbing my hands together.

"Alright, everyone. Let's do this. Let's save Katara."

katara.

"Be a good girl, now, peasant. If you so much as make a sound, I'll make sure no one can ever recognize that pretty face of yours ever again." I could feel his hands on me, disgusting, slimy, unwanted-

I struggled, barring his advances with my elbows, unable to use my hands. I pushed him away with my chained legs as much as I could manage before they shook too badly. He left his cloak in the opposite corner before falling over me with one hand on either side of my head.

get off get off get off-

I squirmed away from his groping fingers, away from his grotesque face and his leering mouth. Slap. He'd slapped me. My cheek burned, my arms burned- I couldn't protect myself, not even from this-

"I said, be a good girl."

There was a ripping noise, a tearing, a wronging on such a basic, human level-

please get off me, please stop touching me.

please, Zuko, please-

I was screaming inside my own head, begging for salvation, begging for something that I knew would never come. My head was bashed against the wood behind me as he stole something from me that I'd never be able to get back, as he broke something inside me that could never be fixed.

One hand was firmly planted on my throat, cutting off my air, making it so hard to breathe.

But I didn't want to breathe anymore. I wanted to throw myself into the ocean, I wanted to die, I wanted to drown. The other hand was pressed up against the wall as he pushed against me. I could barely struggle, now, having to accept what was happening to me with a whine of horror.

His saliva coated my throat and face, and his hands left bruises on my already battered body, moving on me in a way that no man had ever dared do before. So much. Too much, too much. I couldn't do this. My body couldn't take any more-

Zuko, please-

I was left with scraps of my clothing strewn over me messily, left with wounds that couldn't be healed, left with a broken soul, a shattered mind. I was left cowering in the corner of a dirty cell, the tears choking me but refusing to escape my tightly pressed together eyes.

Zuko.

This chapter was so difficult for me to write. It brought me to tears, so please tell me if it did the same for you! & if not, tell me why!

I'd really appreciate some serious feedback on this one, guys! As always, I love all of you for taking the time to read it & review!

xoxo,

nightfall26