Author's Note: I can't believe it! I get the whole weekend off! I will actually have time to write!

20 – Tough Decisions – May 18, 2012

Whatever happiness Aspen had felt earlier that morning had dulled to a nervous flutter in her heart. She was now sitting in Fury's office along with Clint, Steve, Hannah, and her mother. Ava had recounted everything that had happened between her disappearance and eventual rescue. Hannah reported her observations from Portland and Everest.

"You sent her to follow us?" Aspen asked Fury.

"Did you really think I would let you go alone with no weapons?" he asked, cocking an eyebrow at her.

"We can handle ourselves without weapons."

"Clearly." Sensing the sarcasm, Aspen glowered. "Multiple interested parties were after you. After you were captured, Agent Fengard sent word to SHIELD. Shortly after that Agent Barton got in contact with your coordinates. He'd noticed you were no longer in the country."

"He got there just in time. Stewart was about to inject his army with both the Superhero Serum and Super-Adaptoid. He would have unleashed something not even the Avengers could handle."

"Ava mentioned you were injected with the Neurological Potential Stimulus," Fury said, calling the serum by its official name. "How is that affecting you?"

"It's incredible and horrible at the same time," she admitted. "I can sense so much more. I know things I shouldn't be able to know. I remember every detail of everything that's happened the last few days, everything that's around me. It's like being aware of everything and understanding everything. I have some abilities too like breaking glass with my emotions – it's like I can actually send out the energy waves. The list of possibilities is unlimited, but I'm limited in what I can do simply because I don't know what all I can do."

"Is there a way to reverse the serum's effect?" Fury asked Ava.

Ava shook her head. "Not anymore. I lost all my work. I could start over, but it would take years to get the proper materials."

Fury turned his eye back to Aspen. "Would you like to fill in your side of the story?" he asked her.

She nodded, took a deep breath, and told her story. She started with the plane ride and her and Steve's suspicions that they were being followed. When she mentioned the Sunflower House, Ava clutched the arm of her chair. She told them about her journey to Asgard and the help Loki had given her. She couldn't read the expression on Fury's face throughout that part of the story, but he stayed silent. Finally she came to the last part. She paused finding it difficult to relate again. When she had finished, everyone was silent for a long while.

"I'm sorry to hear about Gregor," Fury said. "He was a good man. He brought his little girl to work one day back in 93'. I told him it was no place for a child, but you fit right in. Wouldn't stop asking questions."

"I was here before?" Aspen asked.

"Different headquarters, but yes. You've still got that spunk."

Aspen had no idea that she'd met Fury before. She imagined a two-year-old version of herself running around SHIELD headquarters asking questions. It brought a smile to her face. "You're sure Loki didn't make it through that portal?" Fury asked, changing the subject.

"Yes, sir. He went to face his father to give me time to escape. Odin would have dealt with him."

"Stewart set a guard on the portal," Ava put in. "To make sure you didn't slip through and to make sure that no one followed you."

"Good." He turned his eye to Clint. "Seems like everything is well in hand. You eliminated a serious threat. Of course A.I.M. itself still exists out there, but one research facility down is a start. Now I'd like to discuss something with Captain Rogers and Miss Tolvar in private if you wouldn't mind."

Ava threw Aspen a concerned look but got up with Hannah and Clint. As they filed out of the office, Ava gave Aspen's shoulder a squeeze. Instead of reassuring her, it made Aspen feel even guiltier for choosing SHIELD over her mother. Once the door had shut, Fury started. "After New York you were having doubts about whether or not you wanted to stay in SHIELD's employment," he said to Aspen. "I offered you a job as a full time agent, and you said you'd consider it. Have you come up with a decision?"

Aspen took a deep breath. "I have. I decided I want to train to become a full agent. I'm dropping out of the science program. I can't keep with it after watching my parents' work destroy our lives. I want to help people."

"You know that a full agent has to do things he or she might not be comfortable with," Fury said.

"I know that."

"Even kill in the line of duty."

"Yes, sir."

"I wanted to make sure you knew that. It isn't an easy life."

"I never thought it was, but it was the life I was meant for. I've never been more sure of anything. I've had a taste of the villains out there, and I realized the world needs people who are willing to fight against that evil."

"Good. How about you, Rogers?" he turned his gaze to Steve.

"I'm in," Steve said. "On one condition."

"I'm listening."

"Aspen and I get to work together," he said. "As a team."

"Deal. I'll give you a couple weeks to get things in order." Aspen knew he was referring to her father's funeral. "I suppose you'll need to break the news to your mom. I offered her a job here as head of the science division, but she wants nothing to do with science anymore. Maybe you can change her mind, make her see that she could do a lot of good if she worked on counteracting the dangerous things out there that we come across."

"I can try. I think she needs some time to accept everything. It's been a hell of a ride, and I'm not sure even I could convince her to stay on."

"Understood." The conversation was clearly over so Aspen and Steve stood. Fury shook both of their hands. "Good to have you aboard," he said.

"Good to be aboard, sir," Aspen replied, and she meant it.

…

Aspen found her mom waiting out in the hall. Hannah was gone, and Ava said that she was following up on some leads she had on another enemy organization that had been after the Superhero Serum. Clint was nowhere to be seen. Aspen wondered if he was avoiding her. Ever since he had seen his brother, he was quieter than usual. Not that they'd been back for long, but she'd still noticed a difference. If anyone could understand finding out that your family wasn't really dead, it was Aspen. She hoped he would open up to her soon.

"Mom, I need to talk to you," she said as they started down the hall.

"I'll give you some privacy," Steve said. "I'll be downstairs."

"I was thinking," Ava started, "after the funeral, I'm going to scatter Gregor's ashes over the Sunflower House. It was the last place we were truly happy. He'd like that."

"That's a beautiful idea," Aspen told her.

"I was thinking we could look at houses there. Something small."

"That's what I wanted to talk to you about." Aspen took a deep breath.

"Is it Steve?" Ava asked.

Aspen looked at her in surprise. "No. Well, sort of. I mean, I don't want to move away from him, but that's not what I was going to say." She took a deep breath. It was now or never, she just hated to see the look of disappointment on her mom's face. "I'm going to stay here. I want to train to be a full agent. I'm going to keep working for SHIELD."

Ava was silent as she registered what Aspen was saying. She looked hurt and disappointed as Aspen had predicted. "If it's because you feel like you need to avenge your father's death…"

"No, it's not that. I just…I realized there are so many people out there who want to hurt the world. I need to be one of the people stopping them. I'm tired of being afraid and of getting hurt. Tired of watching people I care about get hurt. I want to be able to defend myself and others. More than I can now. SHIELD can offer me that."

"I understand why you're not going to pursue your studies in science, but Aspen, this is your whole life. We have a second chance. Are you going to just let that slip by?"

"No. I was hoping you'd stay in New York. We can visit. We can go do things that mother and daughters do."

"Between missions, you mean," Ava said bitterly.

"I'm not going to lose you again. And you're not going to lose me. I can't just go back. It's been too long. We can't change the past, but we can forge a new future. I've changed though. I don't want my future to just be a shadow of the past."

Ava was silent for a long while. "You are so much like your father," she said finally. "He was always dreaming of the future, never dwelling in the past. I've always been far too sentimental for my own good. Afraid to let go, to move on. But look at you. You're grown up. I have no right to tell you how to live your life. If this is what you want, then I support you."

"Thank you, Mom. That means a lot to me. This really is what I want. Steve is going to work for SHIELD too. We're going to work together."

"Is that the reason you really wanted to stay?" Ava asked.

Aspen shook her head. "I decided that before I knew that Fury had offered him a job."

"He's a good guy, you know. Steve. There are not many men, if any, like him today. His values and his mindset are from the 40s, but he could teach the men of today a thing or two. He's humble and a gentleman."

"I know that," Aspen said with a smile. "We're together now. Going out. I'm not really sure what to call it. I guess I should research what exactly you called dating in the 1940s." She felt nervous talking about this with her mom but also excited. It was normal, just strange. She'd never had anyone to talk to before like that.

Ava smiled and for the first time in the last two days, Aspen could tell that she was truly happy. "That's wonderful. How long have you known each other?"

"Not that long. Since halfway through April. We've been through so much together though. I think that counts for double." It really wasn't that long, but she felt as if she'd known him for ages. She'd never let anyone in that fast, never felt so strongly.

"You were both here during the alien attack."

"Yeah. We fought together."

"You're so brave, Aspen. I was never that brave."

"I think you're plenty brave. You stood up to Stewart for a long time."

"And look where it got us."

"The world would probably be in chaos if you hadn't stalled so long," Aspen insisted. "You basically saved the world at great personal risk. That's brave. That's a hero."

"I just wanted to protect my family." She gave Aspen a sad smile. "I didn't do a good job of that."

"Dad dying wasn't your fault. Stewart was a villain. If we give into sorrow and despair then he will have won. Dad would want us to move on with our lives. Live our lives for once. You deserve that. I'm just sorry he didn't get to taste that freedom."

"He got a different kind of freedom. Now no one can hurt him," Ava said softly.

…

Steve paced back and forth in the lobby of SHIELD headquarters. Aspen had been talking to her mom for nearly twenty minutes and he was worried about how the conversation was going. He had a feeling Aspen's mom wasn't going to be happy about her choice, but she had to realize that Aspen had been living her own life for a long time. He wondered if things would be different if her father had lived. Would she have still decided to stay with SHIELD?

"You look nervous. Did Fury grill you or something?" a familiar voice called out. Steve turned to see Clint walking toward him.

"No, Aspen's telling her mom that she's becoming a full agent."

"Ah. I trained her, you know. She has a lot of skills that just need to be honed. She hadn't been on a lot of missions but she proved herself in New York whether she realizes it or not. She might get fazed sometimes and think it's a good reason to give up, but she never does give up, that's the thing. She keeps on fighting even when she thinks she can't."

"She doesn't accept defeat," Steve agreed.

"I meant to apologize for what I said when we were in Iceland," Clint said. "About you not protecting Aspen. She told me the whole story. You did the right thing."

"It didn't feel like it, but I didn't see another choice."

"She cares a lot about you, you know."

"I know. I care about her too." Clint gave him a scrutinizing look, and Steve wondered if he was in for a lecture. He knew how protective Clint was over Aspen and respected that bond they had.

"You're one of the few I would trust with her," Clint finally said. "Just as long as she doesn't fall for that demi-god again."

Steve laughed nervously. "I think she's demoted him to friend only."

"Good. Well, not good, but at least she's come to her senses. Somewhat."

"Who's come to their senses?"

Both Clint and Steve turned to see Aspen stepping out of the elevator, Ava at her side.

"No one," Steve said at the same time as Clint said, "You."

Aspen frowned. "What am I missing?" she asked. Steve noticed that though Ava looked stressed, neither of them looked angry. Hopefully Aspen's decision had been accepted.

"I was just telling Steve that you finally came to your senses. He's a lucky man," Clint said, turning to leave.

"Wait, Clint, I wanted to talk to you," Aspen said.

"I know what you're going to ask. Later though, okay?" Clint asked, looking strained. Aspen looked frustrated.

"Alright," she replied reluctantly. Steve wondered what was going on. "But we will talk, right?"

Clint gave her a wry smile. "Yeah, I guess I owe you a story," he said before leaving them.

"What was that about?" Ava voiced the thoughts Steve had kept to himself.

"Nothing," Aspen said. "Just something he's dealing with."

"Hannah is meeting me in a few minutes. She's going to help make all the funeral arrangements," Ava said. "But you two should go spend the rest of the day together."

"I can stay, Mom. You don't have to deal with this by yourself. I mean, I'm glad Hannah's helping, but I can help too."

Ava took her hand. "I don't want you to have to plan your own father's funeral," she said. "We'll take care of it."

"Alright. Call me if you need anything," Aspen told her, furrowing her brow as if she didn't believe her mom had it all under control.

"I will."

As Steve and Aspen turned to leave the building, Aspen slipped her hand into his. He gave it a reassuring squeeze. "Can we walk around the park or something?" Aspen asked. "I feel like I need to get away from everything for awhile."

"Of course."

…

They found their way back to the same bench they'd sat on the first day they'd met right alongside the duck pond. Steve was itching to sketch. The last time he'd drawn anything it had been on the flight into Portland. He didn't have any paper on him, so he contented himself with observing in silence. Aspen kept ahold of his hand, and he had no desire to let go.

"When I think about what this whole situation would be like without you, I don't think I could get by," Aspen said suddenly. "I'd feel so lost without an anchor to keep me from losing my mind. I'd be stuck in a nightmare with no one to pull me out."

Steve tightened his grip on her hand. "You don't have to get by on your own," he told her.

"I'm still getting used to that," she admitted, "but it's a bit of a relief really. Doing everything on your own gets lonely."

"Well now you don't have to be lonely," he said with a smile.

"My mom wanted me to move back to Portland with her," Aspen said after a pause. Steve had been wondering how her conversation with her mom had gone but he figured she'd talk about it when she was ready.

"Wouldn't that bring back all the memories?" he asked. "I would think that might be hard for her."

"I know it'd be hard for me. It'd be like trying too hard to reclaim my childhood. I'm not a child anymore though. I can't go back to that. I don't want to. It's just too late. She was upset when I told her I was staying here, but in the end she accepted my decision. I know she's just scared for me. Scared to lose me again. I'm not going anywhere though."

"Will she stay here or do you think she has her heart set on moving back to Portland?" Steve asked her. He hoped Ava would stick around. She had a chance to have a relationship with her daughter, but if she moved away, it would be harder to stay in touch. Talking on the phone everyday wasn't the same as seeing each other.

"I don't know," Aspen replied. "I hope she stays. I told her she should. I didn't breach the matter of working for SHIELD again yet. I'm not sure what she'd say to that. I think she still partially blames SHIELD for what happened in 1994." Aspen leaned her head back, gazing up at the blue sky above them. She looked tired, and Steve could see the tension in her shoulders. "I just want to move forward but I keep feeling like my past is dragging me back. I'm sure it will just take time. Time heals almost everything. In a year, I'll look back and it won't seem like such a nightmare."

"Makes New York almost seem like a piece of cake."

"I'd take alien attacks any day over crazed scientists trying to take over the world and threatening my family."

"How did Loki feel about someone trying to pick up where he left off?"

"He wasn't too happy about that. He didn't think Stewart could do it."

"What do you think he would have done if he had come back with you?" Steve asked.

"I'm not sure." Aspen bit her lip. "I think he just wanted to be free. Living out the rest of your life in Asgardian prison can't be fun."

"No, I suppose not." Steve still felt like Loki had gotten what he deserved, but he didn't voice this out loud. The world was a lot safer without the demi-god with a power complex wandering around.

"I know what you're thinking," Aspen said. "Believe me when I say I refused to take Loki back with me."

"I believe you." He thought back to Stewart's body falling back through the portal before it had imploded. "Do you think Stewart was dead when he fell through the portal?" he asked, frowning.

Aspen looked up at him, her eyes startled. "You think he could have survived two arrows to the heart and three bullets?"

"I'm just not sure what he's capable of with both my powers and full access to his brain," Steve said cautiously, not wanting to upset Aspen. "But I doubt even he could survive that." But not knowing for sure bothered him.

"If he did survive then he'd be in the hands of the Asgardians. I'm not sure what they'd do with him."

Steve hardly heard Aspen. Another thought had occurred to him, something he'd never thought about before. This thought frightened him more than the thought of Stewart still being alive. Aspen seemed to notice his distress. "What is it?" she asked.

"I was just thinking. The Tesseract's energy could create a portal into another world. When the Red Skull held it, I thought it killed him, but it also opened up a portal. He was sucked into the portal. What if he didn't die?"

Aspen's worried eyes met his and the silence between them stretched on. "You think Schmidt could still be alive?" she asked.

"I don't know. It's the not knowing that scares me," he replied.

"Well he would be dead by now, right? I mean, that was a long time ago."

"I'm still alive."

"But you were frozen for 67 years. It preserved your body. He wouldn't have had that luxury."

Steve nodded. It made sense. There was nothing to say that Schmidt had survived touching the Tesseract. "You're right."

"He would have already come back if he was going to," Aspen reassured him. "But if he does come back, we'll be ready. You defeated him once and now you have a whole team of superheroes at your side." She grinned. "Never thought I'd say that. The days of not believing in heroes and villains are gone."

"You forgot to ask Fury for your cape," Steve reminded her.

Aspen laughed. "Maybe I'll get promoted and that can be my bonus." They turned the subject to less dark thoughts, and passed the rest of the afternoon in the park. For a moment it felt good to revel in the fact that they were not currently fighting some enemy. No one was trying to kill them, no one was sending them off anywhere. They were just normal people for the day. Or at least as normal as they could be.