Author's Note: I have all kinds of fun things planned for this series! I have officially titled and made the cover for the third in the series which will probably come out this winter. I will give you more information closer to the end of this story. I'm still working on the one-shot where Steve and Aspen meet in the 1940s. Yeah, it's getting long. It might just be its own fan fiction. Also I just started a series of shorts that will fill in the time between this story and the third one. They will cover the time in between and include some fun scenes like Aspen receiving her codename and Steve running into some crazed fangirls.

I just beat my Captain America wii game. It was SO much fun. I love that Chris Evans voiced Cap. He had some rousing speeches. He's also kind of a dork.

So I will be in Portland for four days at the start of next week, so I'll update when I get back. I'm super excited. I've worked so much this summer, I really need a vacation however short.

99 favorites for A Game of Trust. I seriously can't believe it! Wow. Thank you so much and thank you for reading this story too. I appreciate you taking the time to read. And thank you to those who have taken the time to leave a review. It means a lot to me! Writing these stories makes me so happy, and I hope reading them makes you happy too. Also oh my gosh, September 9th needs to be here cause that DVD needs to be in my hands. I have the day off, so I am so at whatever store has the best deal. I hate that the DVD is just boring, no special features. Well, minimal. Sorry I don't have a blue ray player. Sheesh. Okay, ranting done. I've been ranting about that for like three months now.

21 – Faded Memories – May 24, 2012

Aspen tucked a strand of her hair behind her ear as it fell from the bun at the back of her neck. Her black dress tugged at her as a wind picked up, blowing across the cemetery. Steve stood by her side, dressed in a black suit and tie. His hand was linked with hers, his face downcast as they watched the casket lower into the ground. Ava and Hannah stood side-by-side across from them and even Aunt Vi had made it. She stood a little apart from Ava looking uncomfortable. It was a small funeral and a short one. Clint had taken the afternoon off to be there for Aspen, and she felt a little braver with him there. Ava had decided to have the casket buried in New York. The ashes she would scatter in Portland in the yard of the Sunflower House. It was where they had been happiest and even though she had accepted that they'd never get that life back, she still wanted Gregor to be there.

She had decided to stay in New York after all and had even started looking for a place of her own though Hannah assured her she could live with her as long as she wanted. Aspen could tell how strong Ava was trying to be. She was broken on the inside, but she was trying so hard to move forward. Aspen herself had spent the last week trying to accept everything that had happened.

The day before the funeral had been rough though. Somehow her powers had broken through causing her to feel everything as if it had been magnified. She'd nearly hurt herself trying to push the feelings back, trying to subdue the pain. It was like her mind was micro-examining everything. She couldn't control it even though Ava had assured her it was possible. The scientist in Ava hadn't disappeared, and Aspen could tell she was fascinated with Aspen's abilities. She kept saying how valuable it would be in the field, but Aspen just wanted to be normal again. Every time she asked her mom if she would try to create an antidote, Ava said she would work on it after the funeral. Aspen couldn't wait that long though. In her desperation, her thoughts had gone to an object sitting forgotten in the bottom drawer of her desk. Loki had ruined one of the cuffs, but she still had the other one. With a sense of imprisonment, Aspen had fastened the cuff around her left wrist, wincing as it locked in place. She could unlock it if she wished, but the relief that flooded through her the second she put it on told her she would not be taking it off. Even though the abilities she had were neurological and not magical, the cuff cut them off. She had shut her eyes, breathing in the normalcy that had followed. No more scrutiny of every single detail around her, no more magnified senses and emotions. She couldn't break glass if she got angry or move objects with her mind or read the temperature of the room. She was simply Aspen again.

Now as she stood next to Steve, she felt his thumb rub the cuff. He hadn't liked the idea of her imprisoning herself in the device, but once he'd seen her relief, he'd grudgingly accepted it. "I just wish you hadn't been forced into this," he'd told her. "At least I agreed to my serum."

As the funeral concluded and the last of the dirt had been piled onto the empty coffin, Aspen let go of Steve's hand and walked forward. She knelt next to the grave. "I'm still fighting," she said softly. She knelt there another moment and then straightened, walking back to Steve. She paused as Clint reached out to hug her. She gripped him tightly. "Thank you for being here," she told him.

"Of course. If you need anything at all, I'm here for you, Pen," he returned before letting go.

Aspen smiled at him before returning to Steve's side and slipping her hand into his again. She watched as Ava walked forward, silent tears streaming down her cheeks. She knelt beside the grave and began to weep. Aspen wanted to go to her, to reach out and try to calm her, but what could she say? There was nothing she could do to take away that pain. Instead she turned and pressed her head against Steve's chest, unable to watch her mother's pain. Steve slipped his arm around her, pulling her into him. It seemed like an eternity passed before Ava's sobbing finally ceased. Aspen pulled away to see Aunt Vi and Hannah on either side of her as she walked away from the grave. Aspen met her eyes, and Ava gave her a brave smile. Aspen couldn't bring her lips to rise so she simply watched as her aunt and grandmother comforted her mom. She felt completely useless. Steve seemed to sense her discomfort. "Do you want to go with them?" he asked.

"I'm not sure I could handle that. Could we just go home?"

He nodded. "Of course."

She'd started referring to either her or his apartment as 'home.' It didn't really matter which as long as he was at one of them. Now he took her back to his apartment, sensing that she wanted to be away from the pictures and memories she kept around her own apartment. She settled onto his couch, and he made her a cup of tea before sitting next to her. She curled up against his side, cradling the mug and staring into space.

"I feel like such a terrible daughter. I should be with my mom comforting her, but I don't know what to say. I don't know how to make her feel better. I just can't be around that kind of grief right now. I need to grieve in my own way. I grieve by letting go and moving on. I don't see the use in mourning for a long time. I need to keep busy and get on with my life. I know my dad would want that, but I feel like I should be moping around crying. I feel sad, but I also feel a desire to keep fighting, for him, for myself. I feel like that makes me so insensitive."

"That's not insensitive. You turn your grief into action. You're a passionate person. There's nothing wrong with that," he assured her.

She looked up at Steve. "You've dealt with loss too," she said softly. "When you lost Bucky. You kept fighting."

She saw a wave of sorrow pass through his eyes and felt sorry for bringing it up, but she needed to hear how he'd dealt with that loss. "I did. I knew he would have wanted me to. I channeled my loss into a passion to bring down the enemy who had caused his death. I wasn't going to let the bullies win."

"I want to be like that. I don't want to let this bring me down. I miss him, I always will, but I've missed him for eighteen years. I already did my mourning," she realized. "I grieved for them when I was old enough to understand my loss. I thought they'd both died, thought I'd never see them again. But they didn't die, and I did get to see them again. I wish he could have lived, but just getting to see him one last time was a gift. To know I had parents who loved me. I used to get so angry thinking about them. When I was too young to really understand death, I thought they'd abandoned me. Then after I realized they were still alive, I thought that again. Now I realize everything they did was to protect me. My dad died to save my life. What better way to honor his memory than to live my life as full as I can and maybe save a few along the way?"

"I think that's a great idea."

"You should call Peggy," Aspen said suddenly. "She's the last part of your past that you're holding on to. But the thing is, you don't have to let go. Not completely."

Steve looked surprised. "I wanted to wait until this was over. I can't be thinking about me when you're going through so much."

"That's silly. Seeing you happy is the easiest way to make me happy," she told him. "You don't have to tell her about us right away. I know it's been 67 years since she last saw you, but for you it's still not that long ago."

"She'll love you," Steve told her. "She'll be happy for us."

"I know, but you have a lot to catch up on. I don't want to rush anything, and I would never want to act like I'm more important to you than Peggy." She held up a hand to stop his protest. "Just focus on getting to know her again. If you're ready. It's completely up to you."

"You're amazing, did you know that?" he asked, leaning down to kiss her head. "You see what other people value and value it just as much."

"You taught me that."

"I did?" He looked surprised.

"Your unerring respect and patience has made me realize that even though the world is made up of different people, heroes and villains, good and bad and in between, none of us has the right to disrespect any of them. No one is black and white. Everyone has so many different facets to be considered. Your goodness has inspired me to be a better person. I used to shut the world out because I thought it was out to get me. Now I'm not afraid to meet it head on. I'd built up all these walls, all this armor around me. But on the inside I was terrified. I've started breaking down that armor though. Letting people in. I'm not so afraid that everyone will leave or betray me."

"You know I'd never do that."

"I know that." She smiled up at him. "So we start training in a week. Most agents go through SHIELD's academy, but Fury is putting Clint in charge of our training since we already have a history with fighting and defense. And well, you're Captain America, so that gives you some brownie points right away. He knows I work well with Clint."

"Are you nervous?"

"A little. I keep thinking I can't do this, I can't possibly be as good at fighting as you or Clint or Natasha, but they started somewhere. You started somewhere."

"I did. I started out unable to throw a punch." He smiled at the thought. "Bucky was always getting me out of fights, but he always let me think I had it in hand."

"That's sweet. I wish I could have met him," Aspen said.

"He would have liked you. He would have liked your spirit."

"I've never had a best friend," Aspen realized. "How sad is that? Growing up I just didn't make friends very easily. I had this complex where I thought they'd eventually all ditch me. I found it easier not to get close to people."

"Well you don't have to worry about that now," Steve told her with a smile. "You know I'll always be your friend."

"Til the end of the line. You used to say that to Bucky, didn't you?" she asked.

"How did you know that?" Steve looked surprised.

"You said it to me, or maybe to yourself, when we were in Iceland."

"He used to say it to me," Steve told her, eyes going distant. "Ironic that he fell from a moving train. I didn't realize the end of the line would come so quickly and so literally."

"You still blame yourself, don't you?" she asked softly.

"There had to have been something more I could have done," he said, turning his eyes to her. She could see the hurt in them and regretted bringing it up.

"Sometimes we think that, but in the moment, it's difficult to think quickly. Sometimes we do all we can in that moment even if we think we could have done more." She sighed. "Speaking of doing everything I can do, I should probably go check on my mom." She stood, and Steve walked her to the door.

"Thank you," she said. "For everything. You're the only reason I'm getting through all this."

"You're stronger than you think," Steve said, squeezing her hand before opening the door for her. "Call me if you need anything," he said.

"I will."

…

Aspen hesitated outside of Hannah's apartment. She was still getting used to the idea of having a living grandma though she couldn't quite see Hannah as such. She wasn't the typical affectionate grandmother you might expect. She was SHIELD through and through. She understood Aspen's choice and had told her as much. Aspen reached out a fist and knocked. It took a few moments for Hannah to open the door.

"She's in the kitchen," she said, letting Aspen in.

Aspen went through to the small, well-lit kitchen, taking a seat across from her mom at the antique table. Sunlight was spilling in through the window, shining despite the gloominess Aspen was feeling. Her elation from earlier that day had faded as she forced herself to face reality. She pushed aside her feelings for Steve and focused on her mother.

Ava was staring out the window, one hand wrapped around a mug of tea that had long gone cold. She didn't even look up when Aspen sat down. "I'm flying out to Portland Tuesday," she told Aspen. "Hannah is coming and Violet."

"Mom, I can come if you need me to," Aspen said. She felt a little hurt that her mom hadn't thought to include her. She might not have known Gregor well but he had been her father after all.

"No. You start your training soon. I don't want to keep you from that."

"My family is more important than my training," Aspen told her. "But if you don't want me to come, that's fine." She kept her voice steady. Ava didn't look at her. "Mom?"

"I just don't want you to have to go through with it," Ava said, finally turning to look at her. "Of course I want you there, but sometimes leaving the past behind is easier when you aren't constantly reminded of it."

Aspen blinked. "You don't think I could handle it? Mom, I've been there. I've seen the Sunflower House. I know that past is gone."

"The house is yours now. You can decide what you want to do with it," Ava told her.

"That house is just a memory," Aspen said. "A good one, but I don't need it to remember you and Dad."

"Did I ever tell you the story of how you were named?" Ava asked softly.

"No. At least not since I was too young to remember."

"Your father grew up in Germany – he immigrated here as a young boy, but his earliest memories are of his little cottage in Germany. His parents were poor farmers, but they believed in the value of education. They scraped and saved to send Gregor to school when he was old enough. He traveled to America when he was eight and studied at an all boys' school in New York. When he was younger, his parents had home-schooled him using the bark from the aspen trees that surrounded their cottage for paper. His father made him books, writing down stories and binding them in the aspen bark. It was his fondest memory. He brought the storybook with him to America and every time he read the stories, he thought of home. Eventually he outgrew the stories, but he never stopped reading them. When he graduated, he went to university where we met. He was a student of science, an American citizen by now. He wrote to his parents often but he never went home. Do you know why?" Aspen shook her head. "He was afraid that if he went back home he would never want to leave again. Some of his best memories were there in that little cottage, and he was afraid that he'd never have the courage to go out and find new memories." She gave Aspen a sad smile. "So instead he stayed, he married me, and we formed new happy memories. We named you 'Aspen' in honor of his first happiest memory so that you could be his new happiest memory."

"What happened to his storybook?" Aspen asked softly.

Ava smiled sadly. "We sent it with you the day you left for Arizona with your aunt. She must still have it. I'll ask."

Aspen couldn't find words to respond to the story. Instead she reached across the table and took her mom's hand. "I think I understand," she said finally. "But aren't you afraid you'll never come back?"

"There's nothing for me there anymore," Ava said, taking a shuddering breath. "My happy memories are spent."

"That doesn't mean you can't make more."

"I know, but right now I can't believe I'll ever truly be happy again. I know I will. I found you again. That was one of the happiest moments of my life. I just need some time."

"Take as much as you need. I'll only be a phone call away. SHIELD or not, I will always put family first."

"Sometimes you might not be able to."

Aspen shook her head. "I can do both. I promise."

"You're going to make such an incredible agent. Do you know why?" Ava asked. Aspen shook her head. "Because you know what's important. You haven't lost sight of that. A lot of people in the business forget what it is to love and remember. You want to help people, but you won't risk everything to do your job. You understand sacrifice and making the tough decisions. Sometimes you have to play into an enemy's hands to save a life in the end."

"And sometimes you can't save everyone."

"No, I suppose you can't." Ava squeezed Aspen's hand. "That's a lesson you learned early on. Not an easy one. Thank you for stopping by, Aspen," she said softly, and Aspen nodded. "Thank Steve for coming to the funeral. And Clint. They both care a lot about you."

"Clint's like the brother I never had and Steve…" Aspen paused. She felt guilty for being so happy when she should be mourning.

"You love him?"

Aspen's heart jolted. "I don't know. I've never had someone like him before. I care about him more than I can say, but I'm not ready to put a name to it." The thought frightened her. Was she expected to know just how she felt right away? Did he feel that way about her?

"Relax," Ava said, chuckling softly at the alarm on Aspen's face. "Love comes in many different forms one of them being friendship. Just remember that you don't know how long you have. It could be decades, a hundred years, a week. I never want to forget the last time I told you I love you. I know you're still getting used to this – getting used to me, but I always want you to know that."

"I know, Mom. Me too." She stood to leave, sensing that her mom wanted to be alone to think. "Call me and I'll drive you to the airport on Tuesday," she said. "And I think I have an idea for the Sunflower House."