Chapter 6

Christmas Day

Tara was mildly surprised when she heard a knock on the door. It was too early in the day for Piney and Opie to bring food by. She cracked the door open and found it was in fact Opie. "Hey." She greets opening the door fully. She waves to Piney in his truck.

"Merry Christmas!" Opie grins. It had been a few days since she strutted out of the clubhouse with Kyle, leaving Jax dumbstruck.

"What are you doing here?" Tara smiles, stepping out and closing the front door behind her.

"Inviting you to Christmas dinner at the Teller's." He grins a little too much for Tara to buy that it is real.

"Ugh…no thanks." Tara moves to open the door and Opie grabs her softly by the arm.

"Wait." He pleads. "It won't be so bad. You should come."

Bad wasn't the thing she was worried about. She hadn't had a real holiday since her mother died and she didn't want to sit at one where she didn't belong. And she really didn't want to be near Jackson Teller or the things he made her feel. "It's fine. My dad will wake up in a bit and we'll celebrate."

Opie knew she was full of shit. Piney had to drag Frank Knowles out of clubhouse bar three hours ago. And he only knew that because he was the one who answered Otto's phone call for Piney to come and get him or Otto was going to shoot him. "Yeah, I bet." He raises his eyebrows and takes a deep breath. "Look, it's weird for me too." He confides. "Being around a normal family. But this is the first Christmas without JT. I think it will be good for Jax to have his friends there."

Just like he expected, he saw her eyes soften with his words. "I haven't even seen Jax in a few days." She admits with a deep breath. "He probably won't want me there." She remembers the hardening of his eyes as he watched her leave with Kyle.

"No, he's cool with it." Opie lies easily. If she wasn't so lost in her own thoughts she would have easily been able to see that for herself. "And if you don't get in that truck with me…" Opie points to his dad who has now rolled down the drivers window.

"Girl, go put some clothes on and get a move on." Piney orders. "Or we are coming in and eating at your house."

Tara looks down and realizes she's wearing pajama pants and Jax's hoodie from a few days ago. She couldn't help it, it still smelled like him. Oh crap, she had no food in the house to feed her or her father, let alone Piney and Opie. "Fine." She growls to Opie. "Give me a few minutes."
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This holiday freakin' sucked ass as far as Jax was concerned. Just like Thanksgiving, only worse. He caught his mother making out with Clay Morrow in the laundry room. Both pulled away as soon as they noticed him, neither apologizing or denying what they were doing. Christ, it had only been
six weeks since JT died. Did they really expect him to believe that shit wasn't going on before his death?

"It will get better." LuAnn Delany sooths as she puts an arm around him in the kitchen. "First holidays without loved ones are always the hardest."

He rolls his eyes. He knew on some level that was bothering him but it wasn't everything.

"He's been pissy ever since that hot piece of ass left him hanging Friday night." Otto comes up behind Jax and puts him in a headlock.

"Tara's not a piece of ass." Jax glares up at him. "She's a friend."

"Ugh-oh, boy's got it bad." Otto kisses his wife LuAnn before letting Jax out of the headlock. "Maybe you'll get a piece of Christmas ass." Both Otto and LuAnn laugh as Jax storms off.

Jax sits on the front porch where he finds his friend Lowell. "Hey man."
"Hey." Lowell replies. "Not sure why I'm here."

"It's okay, bro." Jax assures him. Where else did the kid have to go? Not his fault his dad just up and left. "Glad you're here."

"Where's Op?" Lowell asks, digging for his smokes. "Shouldn't Piney be here by now?"

"Yeah, I guess." Jax notes. "Probably getting more beer." Both teenage boys snicker.
*****************

Jax was not prepared for Tara to step out of Piney's truck. "Hey" He greets, coming up to help her carry a box of alcohol.

"Hey." She smiles shyly. "Opie said it was okay to come."

It is in Jax's expression then that she knows he had no idea she was coming. She turns behind her and glares at Opie. He shrugs, walking past Jax and whispering loudly to his best friend, "You can thank me later."

"It's fine." Jax assures her, leading them to his house. "The more the merrier and all that bullshit." He can't help buy notice her cleavage in her v-cut red blouse. And is she trying to kill him with the peak of black lace? He was at a total loss of what to do with these thoughts in reference to the girl he's known his whole life. If she was like any other girl he knew, he was fairly certain she'd have been in his bed already.

"How are you holding up today?" As usual she cuts through all his bullshit and right to the heart of him.

"Like shit." He gives her a sad smile. He drops his voice to a whisper, "And I'm pretty sure it's official that Clay is tapping my mom."

"Oh, Jackson." She sighs soothingly, holding open the door for him to walk through. As he walks through it she runs her hand along his back. It's meant to be soothing, Jax is sure, but it sets his nerves on edge….and makes him desperate for her touch everywhere.

Neither notice Gemma Teller watching them from the entryway, "Tara!" She greets with a polite smile. Only Jax notes the wariness in her eyes. "How are you, hon."

"I'm well Mrs. Teller." Tara smiles politely but Jax's knows it is an uncomfortable one. "I'm sorry I didn't bring anything. I wasn't really expecting to come."

"It's okay, baby." Gemma soothes. "Would you like to give us a hand in the kitchen?"

"Mom!" Jax protests. "She's a guest…" Gemma gives him a pointed look.

"I'd love to help." Tara interrupts before there can become an issue. She is very uncomfortable but she can't depend on Jax to run interference for her.

As she squeezes past Jax, she doesn't notice the smirk Gemma gives Jax, or the glare he returns. Gemma, however, notices the way Jax leans the box up against the wall to free a hand. And with that free hand, he grabs Tara's and squeezes. She turns her head and smiles softly, which he returns. This is going to be a problem, Gemma notes to herself, a big problem.
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Tara was quiet later as she and Jax sat alone in Piney's living room listening to videos on MTV. Opie was upstairs on the phone with Donna, who was stuck at her cousin's house for the night. Jax didn't like the sad look in her eyes since earlier. Taking a sip of his beer, he notes, "You survived Christmas with the Teller's."

"It was nice." She smiles wistfully. Her mind starts going to when she was helping Gemma and her friends in the kitchen. She always wondered what it would be like, to be working beside your mom, preparing a feast for your family. She had vague memories of helping her mom do dishes a few times. She hated the fact that the memories seemed to fade over time. Was that how it worked for everyone or was that just because she was so young at the time?

Jax hated the sadness in her eyes at that moment and all he could think about was how to remove it. And as he grabbed the back of her head and her breath hitched, he watched as her eyes turned green again and knew he had found his answer.