What's even better is knowing that forever you're all mine. The closer you get, the more my body aches. One little stare from you is all it takes. – I Melt – Rascal Flatts
Everyone was fast asleep as they snuck through the halls to Daryl's room. Obviously someone was watching the gate, but they had come through a back entrance that few people knew about to avoid whoever was on guard. Daryl explained that Rick had given him the keys so he was free to come and go as he pleased. Rick knew that Daryl needed that little bit of freedom and autonomy but Carol also believed it may have had something to do with Rick's role in Daryl's grief.
Carol's heart had been pounding the whole way back, not only from the quick pace they had kept, but also from anticipation and excitement. But when Daryl opened the door to his room her heart started to pound harder, but it was fear and nervousness this time.
"It's not much," Daryl said gesturing around the small room. "Haven't been here enough to make it homey."
There was a bed in the corner, made neatly, and an end table with a lamp on it. A few random articles were scattered around the floor, but other than that, the room was bare. "It's perfect. Better than leaves and pine needles," Carol joked, trying to shake the warble from her voice that the nerves brought on.
Daryl was more perceptive than that, he caught on immediately. "Hey, we don't have to..." his voice trailed off but it was enough.
"No, I mean yes..." Carol fumbled over her words. She sighed in frustration of not being able to articulate. That was not usually a problem for her until lately and it annoyed her deeply. She took a breath to clear her mind and then found what she hoped were the right words before continuing. "Daryl, Tyreese and I have become close..." The second her words sunk in she saw Daryl recoil as if she'd punched him. "No, no please let me finish before you get upset." Once again she was angry with herself for this not coming out right but she forced herself to just spit out the words. "He kissed me," Carol admitted.
The look on Daryl's face made her want to cry. She didn't want to hurt him, she hadn't intended that at all, but she wanted to be truthful. Daryl's face was turning red, his eyes flashed with something... Maybe anger, but Carol was pretty sure it was jealousy. She grabbed his hand to try and calm him, but also to make sure he wouldn't pull away. "Daryl, please listen, I didn't kiss him back. I couldn't. There was no way I could feel anything for another man when there was still a chance..." He started to soften as her words hung in the air. Carol had to continue, she had to say it, "when there was still a chance you were alive." She reached for his other hand. "But I had to be honest with him Daryl. I owed him that much. He knows," she finished with a whisper.
"Knows what?" Daryl asked. Simply the sound of his voice was soothing.
Carol looked him straight in the eye, "that I love you." Whether it was her own insecurities or her need to make things easier for him Carol didn't wait for a reply. She didn't want him to feel like he had to say it back and she wasn't even 100% sure he would. So Carol protected them both by pressing her lips to his.
In that moment everything she had hoped, dreamed, wished and prayed for was becoming real but it was so surreal that Carol was convinced she was dreaming. She kissed him and clung to his body as if it would all disappear in a poof if she let go. She never wanted to wake up from those dreams again, just to feel the sting and overwhelming sadness all over. It wasn't until Daryl's arms snaked around her body to hold her just as tightly that Carol finally allowed herself to believe it was real.
She liked kissing Daryl and it wasn't just because of the way she felt about him, though that obviously played a role. There was an initial shyness, or insecurity perhaps, maybe even a lack of experience or just that he was out of practice, but it made Carol feel a sense of control that she had never felt before. Maybe it was partly the change in her own personality that allowed her to take charge in all facets of her life, when before she was merely obedient and compliant.
Carol could tell that even from the kiss in the woods to the kiss they were engaged in that he was quickly becoming comfortable with her. Daryl seemed happy for her to take the lead but eventually his responses told her that he had the ability to take over at any point. But he left that decision up to her. Carol slipped her tongue deeper into his mouth, his groan echoing her own. Her hands were splayed on his back, fingers tracing the angel wings on his vest. It was a reminder that they were still fully clothed so Carol made the first attempt to rectify that. She pushed the vest over his shoulders and Daryl released her long enough to let it fall before pulling her in tight once again.
They kissed a little longer and Daryl surprised her by pulling away and reaching for the bottom of her shirt, yanking it up. She raised her arms to help as he tugged it up over her head and off. Carol felt a bit self-conscious about the bra she was wearing. It was old and very worn. They had found a few bras while scavenging but they never seemed to be her size. She opted to distract him, by removing his shirt too. Once his chest was bare Carol reached around behind her and undid the clasp on her bra, slowly letting it fall away.
Daryl was staring into her eyes as if he was afraid to look down. Carol smiled at him and reached for his hand, moving it to her breast. His eyes followed and Carol felt her skin prickle at the look of pure desire on his face. He flicked a thumb over her nipple and circled it a few times until it was fully erect before taking it into his mouth. Carol could feel him tracing the same path with his tongue and it started a burning sensation deep inside her.
She had wanted to take it slow and easy with him, one step at a time. But her desire was destroying her patience and Carol found herself reaching for his belt. She needed to see all of him, every inch. They both fumbled with each other's pants until Carol finally laughed, "let's just get our own." A combination of nerves and trying to hurry had made her all thumbs but Carol was relieved to know Daryl was the same. They did much better with their own clothes, thankfully, and were soon both standing naked before each other.
Carol suddenly understood his reaction when she removed her bra. She wanted to look down but she was terrified. She kept staring at his face, afraid of what seeing him aroused would do to her. Carol knew it was stupid, this is what she had wanted forever, but once she looked at him completely naked she knew her body would take over with no way to stop it. This was it. This was the moment she craved.
Carol took one step forward, still looking into Daryl's eyes. She reached out and touched his chest lightly with the tips of her fingers. He visibly trembled at her touch and Carol felt the corners of her mouth turn up. She knew it couldn't be easy for him to allow her to touch him like that. Carol wasn't absolutely sure, but she suspected that she may have been the first woman he had allowed to boldly explore his body like she was. As her hand traveled down his chest she allowed herself to look at the rest of him. Her heart caught in her chest. He was beautiful. Simply perfect, as far as she was concerned.
When her hand finally grasped his full arousal Daryl groaned and Carol felt him throb in her hand. She was shocked when Daryl grabbed her wrist, "I can't…" he mumbled. Her heart felt like it was going to break as she looked up at him in shock. "Oh I don't mean…" Daryl started, seeing the pain in her eyes. "It's just, I can't… it can't be so slow," he searched her eyes for understanding. "I need…" Carol understood completely what he needed. This wasn't the time for slow and painful foreplay. He wanted to make love immediately and she was ready. Carol gave him a nod of understanding and Daryl guided her to the bed. They would have plenty of time to take things slow later, right then he wanted to be inside her just as much as she wanted him there.
Carol lay back on the bed and Daryl hovered over her. She spread her legs and he positioned himself between them. He gave her a look as if to say it was her last chance to change her mind but Carol simply smiled at him. She felt the tip of his penis graze her gently as he lined it up. When he finally penetrated and eased into her Carol thought her heart was going to explode. She couldn't remember anything that had ever felt so good and so right in her entire life.
The gentleness with which Daryl made love to her surprised Carol. Even when things got intense and he was driving into her there was a tenderness behind it. It sounded so cliché in her mind, but it was as if she could feel how much he loved her. Carol was certain only moments into the sex that he did love her. Daryl didn't have to say it, she just knew.
Carol also knew that he was going to make her come, fast. Every time Daryl pushed deep into her she felt herself getting closer to the edge. As she approached it was as if the world was getting father away and she was retreating into a place of pure pleasure and ecstasy. Finally everything exploded and Carol felt her body release with a wave of heat. She knew what she was doing but had absolutely no control. Her nails dug into his shoulders and sounds escaped her throat. Carol hoped she wasn't being too loud, but she honestly couldn't tell and in that moment she really didn't care about anything beyond the way Daryl was making her feel.
Daryl was still moving into her as her inner muscles started to contract around him. Just as she was returning to her senses Daryl came. Carol watched him as he shuddered and emptied deep inside her. The look on his face aroused her all over again even though she had barely finished round one. As he finished Carol reached up and brushed a stray piece of hair out of his eyes, then touched his cheek in a wordless thank you. Daryl surprised her once again when he turned his head and kissed the palm of her hand.
As they lay together afterwards Carol was melting into him, just enjoying the warmth and security she felt in his arms. Daryl interrupted her bliss, "So you know I wanna punch Tyreese in the face for kissing you, right?"
Carol turned to face him, with a smile. "Stop. I'm all yours, there's nothing to be mad about." She had to admit that she liked the fact he was jealous.
"Yeah but he kissed you and you didn't want it…" Daryl's voice trailed off.
"Oh so you want to defend my honour?" Carol teased.
"Maybe," Daryl gave her one of his half smiles she loved so much.
"Honestly," Carol said, her voice taking a more serious tone. "Tyreese is an amazing guy. He forgave me Daryl, when I couldn't even forgive myself." Daryl reached for her hand to let her know he forgave her as well. They hadn't talked about the murders but Carol realized they didn't need to. Daryl supported her decision. "Can we just be happy? Everyone is back together." As soon as the words left her mouth she knew she was wrong. "Hey, we're going to find her. And it's not your fault," Carol knew losing Beth was still eating him up inside. "If you're going to insist on blaming yourself than I'll take part of that blame," Carol added. He looked at her, confused. "If I had arrived back at the prison earlier maybe I could have done something. Shot the governor… stopped him…"
"Carol…" he started.
"Beth wouldn't be missing and we would still have our home. It's not just on you Daryl, it's on all of us. We should have had a better escape plan, a meet up place, supplies hidden in the areas around the prison… We weren't prepared. We were complacent. And look what happened."
She may have continued but Daryl kissed her to shut her up. "You made your point," he said after pulling back. Carol gave him a smug look and snuggled against him once again. She yawned, covering her mouth with her hand.
"Hey, don't go to sleep yet, get dressed," Daryl said, climbing out of bed. She gave him a confused look. "There's one more thing we have to do." Carol smiled when he pulled 2 toothbrushes and toothpaste out of the nightstand drawer. "It just hasn't been the same without you."