Chapter 8 New Years Eve 1993

Tara had to get out of her own head. She kept replaying that amazing kiss with Jackson over and over again. Telling herself it wasn't that amazing and it was just the effects of the beer and weed. She bet he kissed every crow-eater like that. But then she would relive it and remember the way he matched her stroke for stroke, the way he let her have control, like he knew exactly what she needed.

She would tell herself not to let it go there again. That she and Jackson Teller had completely different goals. She was on a one way track anywhere out of here. And he was on the track to becoming the leader of Redwood Original. But the other part of herself told her to stop over thinking things and who said anything about them even lasting that long. They were 15 and almost 16 for Christ sake. Who said she couldn't have fun?

She would remind herself that he wasn't a monogamous kind of guy. That he would never be satisfied with just her. That she didn't want to give up her virginity to a guy who wouldn't even stick around. Then the other part of her reminded herself that most girls didn't stay with the one guy they give their V card to anyway. That even though he wouldn't be monogamous, he'd certainly treat her with respect. He'd never intentionally or physically hurt her. She was positive of that. At least she thought she was.

This is how Tara found herself in Lodi, alone on New Years Eve. It was probably a bad idea. She probably didn't need more weed. She was stuck in her head enough and it was driving her insane.
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"You've been quiet." Opie finally breaks the silence, addressing Jax. They are driving to Lodi on a bullshit errand run for the club.

"Huh?" Jax asks, lost in thought, he missed what his friend said.

"You've been weird for a few days." Opie sighs. "Want to talk about it?"

"Not really." Jax shrugs. But continues, "I thought I could get her out of my head, if I kissed her."

Opie actually laughs at him. "And how did that work out?"

"It's not funny." Jax glares at him. "It made it worse actually."

"Well, duh." Opie keeps laughing. "Let me guess your next move, Romeo, you think if you bang her, that will get her out of your system."

"No." Jax shakes his head but doesn't meet his friends gaze. Truth is, the thought did cross his mind. He's never been this wrapped up in a girl. Usually if he was interested in a chick, he banged her and that interest was lost. But something told him, if he slept with Tara, he wouldn't be the same. Christ, he sounded like a pussy, even in his own head. "Doesn't matter, she's not interested."

Opie says as seriously as he can muster, "Maybe that's it? You've never met a chick who wasn't interested."

Jax thinks back to the kiss. "She's interested." He smiles smugly. "She just isn't interested in being another score."

"So what are you gonna do?" Op asks.

"I have no idea." Jax replies. He's thought about it. All the time. Ever since that night. Could he be a one woman kinda guy? He thought so. If that woman was Tara. She already held his interest longer than any other chick and he hadn't even hit that yet. But he was pretty sure, he'd be her first, if she even let it get that far. And although he never was anyone's first, he was sure it came with some expectations. "Was Donna, a you know…." Jax stumbles. Guys definitely weren't supposed to be talking about this shit.

"Know what?" Opie asks, in confusion, and pulls out a cigarette as he stops at a red light. He looks and sees the uncomfortable look in his friends eyes. "Oh, you mean, was I her first?"

"Yea." Jax sighs in relief that Opie knew what he was talking about.

"Oh, man, that shit is personal." Opie takes a drag. "She'll kill me if she finds out I'm telling you this shit."

Jax smiles and finally relaxes. Opie just gave him his answer. "It didn't bother her that you were with other chicks before her?"

"It did." Opie admits, hands Jax his cigarette and drives off when the light changes.

"So?" Jax takes a drag. "What did you do?"

"I don't know." Opie shrugs. Men were not supposed to be talking about this shit. "We got over it, I guess." When his friend doesn't say anything he continues, his interest suddenly peeked by the sight out his drivers window. "You thinking about going there with Knowles?"

"Nah." Jax shrugs, "Yes." A deep breath. "I don't know."

"Well you might want to decide sooner rather than later." Opie smirks.

"Why's that?" Jax asks, flicking the butt of his cigarette out the window.

"Because you might already be too late." Opie elbows Jax and points out his window.

Jax fumes as he sees Kyle walking with his arm around Tara's shoulders like it belongs there. "What the fuck?" He asks. "Pull over Op!"

Opie pulls over but grabs Jax by the arm before he can leap out of the truck door that he's opened, "You gotta plan?" He asks.

"I don't need a plan." Jax eyes his friends grip on his arm. "Let go Op so I can punch this douche bag in his face."

"That's exactly the kinda plan that won't work." Op tells his friend. "You have no claim to her, bro, you can't just go over and punch someone for hanging out with her."

"He's got his arm around her." Jax informs his friend like it's a big deal.

"Opie? Jax?" Tara's voice comes from Opie's window. "What are you guys doing here?"

Jax glares at Kyle, who instinctively backs a few steps from Tara. "What are you doing here?" He asks instead of answering her.

She glares at him in response to his tone. "Hanging out." She replies casually.
"You?"

"Running errands for the MC." Opie answers, not giving Jax time to dig a hole. "You need a ride home?"

"I was just going to hop on the bus." She smiles.

"You are not catching the bus home." Jax replies, leaving no room for argument. He doesn't care if he has to throw her over his shoulder and use force to get in the damn truck.

Tara laughs. "Why not?"

"I could drive her home." Kyle offers. Jax glares at him. "Or not."

"Yea, or not." Jax gets out of the truck and walks to the front of the hood and stops. "You coming?" He asks, looking Tara directly in her eyes. And to Opie and Kyle it seems like they have a whole conversation between them without words. Opie watches Tara, put her hands on her hips and raise her eyebrows to Jax. He watches as Jax glares hard before relenting and literally relaxing his whole body.

"I'll take the ride home." Tara relents. She turns to Kyle and smiles, "See you next week Kyle, thanks!" She thought about giving him their usual hug but thought it better to spare him a black eye or broken nose that Jax was itching to give him.

"Yea, sure." He answers uneasily. "Jax." Who just gives him a hard stare in response. "Op."

"Yea, see you around." Opie nods. He waits for Kyle to hit the other side of the street. "You two gonna get in or fight out there?" He speaks to Tara and Jax from his rolled down window.