24 – Training – May 31, 2012

In a week Aspen had only run into dead ends in her investigation into Clint's brother. She had no access to SHIELD intel, her clearance level still level one (Fury had not yet raised it to level four). She'd told Steve the story and asked for his help, but though he'd had some success with the Army, they had only been able to tell him that he'd joined the FBI after leaving the Army. There his sway ended, and they reached another dead end. Aspen sent the information onto Clint who had been silent for a week, still engrossed in his mission, hoping that someone at SHIELD could inquire deeper into this.

The evening before they started training, Steve called Aspen to ask her on a date. She'd moved back into her own apartment not wanting to invade Steve's space any longer though he told her she was welcome to stay as long as she liked. She didn't want to be needy though and was still getting used to the idea of having someone like him around.

"You want to take me on a date?" Aspen asked over the phone.

"Yeah, we haven't really had the time and we're about to get really busy with training, so I figured tonight might be our last chance for awhile."

"Sure. What did you have in mind?"

"It's kind of a surprise."

"I don't typically trust surprises, but I trust you," she said with a smile.

"I'll pick you up at five," he told her.

She hung up with a grin plastered on her face and wandered into her bedroom to find something appropriate to wear. At five she was dressed in a navy blue sundress, her hair done up in a bun atop her head. Steve pulled up promptly at five in a car SHIELD had given him to use. Aspen smiled at him as he got out to greet her.

"You look beautiful," he told her.

"Thank you." He opened the door for her, and she slid in. He was dressed in tan slacks and a dark blue button up shirt under his leather jacket. "So where are we going?" she asked.

"You'll see," was all he would say.

She watched the streets go by, curious as to where they were going. Steve was usual so straightforward, but tonight he seemed intent on surprising her. Finally he pulled in front of a well-lit art gallery. They got out, and Aspen looked up at the windows in awe. It was a photography gallery with an entire collection of incredible black and white shots of the city streets and buildings. There seemed to be a sort of gala going on because when they entered, a crowd of well-dressed people were lingering around with flutes of champagne. Steve handed two tickets to a man at the door.

"I thought you might like to look at the photos," Steve told her.

"They're incredible!" She stood in the middle of the room, trying to take them all in.

"I'm glad you like it." He seemed nervous as if he'd been afraid she wouldn't like it.

"Of course I do. Thank you!" She reached up and kissed him on the cheek before taking his hand and pulling him over to the wall to get a closer look. "I sometimes wish I had more time for normal things like this." She motioned to the photos. "Hobbies." She laughed. "Who has time for those?"

"Do you regret not going forward with school?" Steve asked. "You could have studied something different. Photography perhaps."

"I did think about it but what I want to do doesn't require a degree. A normal life just sort of seems like a lie. I don't want to pretend I'm someone I'm not. And I don't trust people anymore. I looked up to Professor Stew and look how that turned out."

"The chances of that happening again are pretty low," he assured her.

"Are they? I've been marked since a child because of my parents' work. It wasn't all a coincidence. At least at SHIELD I'm with people like me."

"Do you trust everyone at SHIELD?" Steve asked, lowering his voice so that no one else in the gallery could overhear them.

"No. I don't trust people who I haven't seen saving peoples' lives," she said.

"So only heroes?" he joked.

"Only people who don't have hidden agendas."

"Over half of SHIELD probably has hidden agendas."

"Yeah, you're probably right."

"Then how do we know they're saving people?" Steve asked.

"We don't. We just have to trust that we'll make the right choices."

"You know, this was supposed to be a fun way of not thinking about work," Steve said with a grimace.

"Sorry."

"It's okay." He smiled and squeezed her hand.

They walked the rest of the gallery in silence, Aspen trying to focus on having fun. She finally managed to relax for the first time since her mom had left for Portland. She still wasn't back but she'd called to tell Aspen that they were fine, just putting things in order. Part of Aspen wished she had gone with them, but she realized she'd already made her choice. She'd joined SHIELD as a full time agent, and she would have to make sacrifices. This was the first of many.

After the gallery, Steve took her to a nice restaurant that overlooked the city lights. From here the lingering destruction could not be seen.

"It's beautiful like this," Aspen said after they had ordered their food. "From a distance. You can watch the chaos without being a part of it. I wonder if that's how the people watching felt – during the battle. Watching the chaos down below while they looked on."

"I'm sure they were scared."

"Were you?" She looked over at him.

"Of course. It was an entirely unexpected and new experience. Half the time I was afraid I was going to send someone to their death."

"You're a better leader than you give yourself credit for. Didn't you notice how everyone just fell in line and followed your orders? Even Tony."

"Just doing what needed to be done. I would have taken orders just as gladly."

Aspen smiled at his humility. "I was terrified," she said. "I kept thinking, there's no way I'm going to survive this. But somehow I also felt like I couldn't die. Like Loki wouldn't really let that happen. I'm not sure if that's true or not, but it kept me going."

"I think sometimes we think it's not possible to die no matter what the danger. A lot of soldiers feel that way on the battlefield. They have this mentality that they can't possibly die. When they do get hurt or see someone die, it wakes them up to that reality that yes, they can die."

"I can't even imagine. Well, I guess I can. But what we were dealing with though, it was supernatural. On the battlefield during World War II, it was humans fighting humans. There's something more frightening about that. Monsters you expect to attack you, but humans… Some might argue that people can be monsters, but I don't think that's in their nature. It's the fear and the instincts that take over in situations like that. It's the leaders who send their people into battle with their heads filled with crazy ideas that don't make sense but sound really good out loud. Maybe they think they're invincible as long as they've got a cause to fight for. Doesn't matter so much if it's a cause worth fighting for as long as they're told it is."

"I hope we're fighting for the right cause," Steve said. "I don't mind following orders if it's for the right cause, if I'm doing good. But I don't ever want to do something just because someone tells me it's a good idea."

"Wow, this is a really uplifting conversation," Aspen said with a laugh.

Steve shook his head, smiling. "Maybe we need to practice having normal conversations."

The arrival of their food waived further conversation while they ate. "This shrimp is quite good. How is the quiche?" Aspen asked with a sly smile. They talked about equally menial things, turning it into a sort of contest to see who could come up with the most normal thing to talk about. Finally they had exhausted all topics, and the conversation traveled back to work.

"Have you heard from Clint lately?" Steve asked her.

"No. He's still on his mission. I haven't heard a word." She wasn't worried. He could be silent for months at a time, but she knew he was just caught up in a mission. "I was hoping he'd learned something more about his brother. We don't have the clearance to find anything through SHIELD. Not yet anyway."

"Well, with the FBI being tight mouthed, I'm not sure how much further we can get on our own."

"Not far. I tried tracking down the circus Clint traveled with. He said it was called the Carson Carnival of Traveling Wonder. It disbanded in the 90s due to dangerous equipment and shady carnies."

"Sounds about right."

"Clint said that the man they tried to rob back when he shot Barney was called Marko, but his trail ended even sooner. Apparently someone shot him shortly after that episode. I've hit a wall."

"Do we have any idea of the true identities of the Swordsman and the original Trickshot?" Steve asked.

Aspen shook her head. "SHIELD most likely has that intel, but until Clint has time to look it up or we get clearance to access it, that's not going to be the solution." She sighed. "I keep thinking about Clint shooting his brother. He's lived his life thinking that he killed him, and yet he's still out there fighting for SHIELD. He's an Avenger and one of SHIELD's top spies. I think about shooting Danners and how I fell apart, lost my confidence. I'm afraid that I'll be tested beyond my own abilities and my own comfort zone as a SHIELD agent. I'm afraid I won't be able to pull the trigger where it really matters or that if I do, I'll turn into a completely different person. I guess I just don't know what to expect. And I don't know my own limitations yet."

"You're not going to turn into a different person," he assured her. "You can still retain your humanity and do the job."

"How do you know that?"

"I took a lot of lives during the war…did a lot of things that made it hard to sleep at night sometimes, but I've still got my humanity. I still care, and it still affects me when I see people getting hurt. I never gave that up, and neither will you."

"I just wish I had your confidence." She smiled. "I don't want to be afraid anymore."

"Just because I'm confident doesn't mean I'm not nervous too. I don't know what to expect. Like you, I don't want my comfort zones to be pushed too far. I sometimes feel like people are going to use me because of my abilities, but I don't want to be treated differently from anyone else."

"You do know there's always going to be someone in awe of you, right?" Aspen asked him.

"That's not quite what I meant," he said, blushing. "You know how I feel about the whole 'hero worship' thing."

"Well don't worry about the girls. I'll fend them off," Aspen said with a grin. Steve squirmed uncomfortably in his seat. "I'm joking. I mean, I will fend them off, but you don't have to worry. I doubt we'll be spending much time in the public eye any time soon."

They finished their dinner, and Steve paid. Aspen explained tipping to him and showed him how to calculate it on his phone. "The tip would have covered the entire meal in my time," he said as they left the restaurant.

"Thank you," Aspen told him. "I had a lovely time." She allowed Steve to help her into her coat and smiled when he slipped his hand into hers automatically. "I kind of wish this night would never end," she said, looking up at the stars that had sprung out while they had been in the restaurant. "Tomorrow marks the day I begin my life yet it also marks the day I give up my old life."

"Who said you have to give up anything?" Steve asked softly.

"Well, maybe it's just that things will be different. It's just that feeling that I can never go back after tomorrow. My life will never be the same. Maybe that's a good thing, but it's also a little sad."

"I can understand that. I guess for me, you're really the only life I've had so far in this century. And that's not changing."

"No. That's going to stay the same," she told him, feeling touched by the thought. They reached his car, and he opened the door for her.

"Then I feel like I can get through anything."

…

The alarm blared close to Steve's ear, heralding the first day of training. He turned the alarm off and sat up, stretching the muscles in his arms. He swung his legs over the side of the bed and got up. He felt a nervous flutter in his stomach at the thought of starting training. After all he'd been through, it seemed absurd that training would make him nervous. He laughed aloud at himself, pushing the curtains aside to let the sunlight in. He neatly made his bed before heading for the shower.

Ten minutes later he was dressed and pouring himself a bowl of cereal. He checked his watch. Five minutes to six. Their training started at seven, and he'd told Aspen he would pick her up. He didn't know what all he'd need so as he got ready to leave, he grabbed his shield and helmet, pushing his shield into a round bag that fit it perfectly. He didn't need to be drawing attention to himself. He appreciated the anonymity he had attained with his neighbors. He hooked the shield over his back and locked the door before taking the stairs down to the street. He stowed the shield and helmet in the trunk and drove to Aspen's apartment. When he knocked on her door, she called for him to come in, and he found her standing in her bedroom doorway, a toothbrush stuffed into her mouth.

"Almost done," she said, her voice muffled. She disappeared into her bathroom and returned a moment later. "I'm so nervous. I feel like I'm going to the first day of school," she said.

"In a way, we are," he said. "We just won't be learning reading and arithmetic." When Aspen grinned at him, he realized he'd said something dated again. He was still having trouble picking up on all the new words and phrases and found himself slipping back into a very 1940s way of thinking and speaking. Aspen found it endearing though which he appreciated.

Aspen buckled her weapons belt onto her waist. She was dressed in a dark shirt and dark cargo pants, her red hair pulled back into a ponytail. The blonde strands were beginning to fade, and her hair was getting longer. "Clint's back. He said he had some things to tell us after training."

"Sounds good. Are you ready?"

"Yeah, I think so." She turned off the light and locked her door before following Steve down to his car. As he drove them to SHIELD headquarters, he noticed Aspen tapping her fingers on her knee. He reached over and took her hand, stilling her fingers.

"Relax. You'll be fine," he said. His own nerves had vanished, but he was a soldier, he was used to adjusting. "Clint's training us after all. He trained you before."

"I know."

Steve pulled into a parking spot and turned off the engine. Aspen hovered by his side while he retrieved his shield and helmet. They made their way to the training wing to find Clint waiting for them, dressed in all black. "Pen. Rogers," he greeted.

Steve nodded politely to him while Aspen greeted him with a nervous 'hi.' Clint gave her a curious glance.

"Nervous?" he asked, lifting an eyebrow.

"Not at all," Aspen said with a smile. "What are we doing?" she asked.

"Today we're testing your skills. Rogers, we have an outfit for you in the locker room." He nodded to a room to their right, and Steve entered to find an outfit laid out for him. Similar cargo pants to Aspen's, a plain, dark grey T-shirt, and running shoes. He put them on, leaving his shield and helmet with his street clothes, and returned to the training room.

"Alright. First test. Agility, speed and strength." He motioned to the doors behind him. "We've got a course that involves running, jumping, vaulting, and climbing. You will be timed, and I'll be watching to see what you need to improve on. After that we'll work on stealth and then hand-to-hand combat."

"Is that all?" Aspen asked. Clint ignored her sarcasm.

"Okay, follow me." He led them across the open room and through a wide set of doors. The course before them was vast, similar to the military training course Steve had gone through at Camp Lehigh. "Aspen, you stand here." Clint motioned to a starting spot to the left. "And Steve." He nodded to the starting spot on the right. "I'll be up there watching and timing. I'll give you to the count of three and sound the starting bell. It's not a race, it's not a contest. I just want to see what you can do and what you need to improve on."

He climbed up to a perch that overlooked the course. "On my count. One." Steve set his eyes on the course ahead of him, steadying his breath. "Two." He crouched down, ready to take off at the sound of the bell. "Three." A bell rang above them, and they took off. Steve pounded down the start of the course. Ahead he saw three jumps, no more than three feet off the ground. He vaulted over them, keeping his strides small to avoid crashing into the second and third. Next came a rope wall. He leapt, landing halfway up and hauled himself easily over. He dropped to the ground, the eight foot length hardly jolting his shins. The course bent, and he veered right. There was a barbed wire enclosure, and he fell to the ground to crawl under it, reminded strongly of the same exercise during his military training. The old Steve had ended up trapped under the barbed wire, but the new Steve was already up and heading toward the end. There were two more jumps – higher this time, and another wall, this time solid with small hand and foot holds. A red line marked the ending, and he sprinted across. He wasn't winded at all when he slowed to a stop. He looked back, but he couldn't see Aspen. Another few minutes passed, and he began to worry that he'd set an unbeatable record. Aspen didn't have the advantage of the Super Soldier Serum. Another few minutes passed, and Aspen came tearing out of the maze, breathing hard. She stopped, putting her hands on her knees, and panting.

"I think I might need to practice," she finally said, catching her breath.

"Rogers, two minutes. Tolvar, eight. The average is six. The record was five minutes thirty seconds." He looked impressed, and Steve felt a stab of embarrassment. He definitely had an unfair advantage.

"I know Steve has the advantage, but if you two are going to be working as partners, you need to learn to balance your skills and abilities," Clint told them. "You've both got your strengths and your weaknesses. You need to learn them inside and out."

Aspen shuffled her feet, looking abashed. "Look lively, Tolvar. This is only day one. There's plenty of time for improvement."

"And room," Aspen muttered. "Stealth next? Let me see if I can quit panting long enough to actually not sound like a Darth Vader sneak attack."

…

The stealth test involved sneaking up on Clint in a dark room. Clint's hearing was uncanny though, and they both made several unsuccessful attempts on sneaking up on him. Steve was quiet on her feet, but the tiniest creak or shuffle alerted Clint. Finally Aspen managed to catch him off guard by climbing up onto the beams on the ceiling of the training room and dropping down on Clint's shoulders. When he hit the lights, she was smiling with satisfaction.

"You're both quiet on your feet. Rogers, you need to learn how to use your balance your weight properly to be just as light-footed as skinny little Aspen here."

"Hey!"

"Aspen, you need to learn to control your breathing. I could usually hear you. Deep, slow breaths. Holding your breath is only going to make you pant for more. Deep, slow breathing keeps enough air in your lungs without being noticeable. On the field you aren't going to get ten chances to sneak up on the enemy."

…

Hand-to-hand combat training consisted of Clint showing them different styles of fighting, walking them through the steps and then letting them test their skills on each other. Steve faced Aspen, terrified of hurting her. His thoughts flashed to the scene in Iceland. He had to duck when her fist came shooting out at him.

"Rogers, don't go easy on her just because she's your girlfriend," Clint called out to him. Steve blushed, but focused harder. This time when Aspen swung, he blocked her blow. She undercut with her other fist and landed a blow on his chest. He hardly felt it, but he knew on a normal man, it would hurt.

"Is this going to be a problem?" Clint asked. They turned to look at him. "He doesn't want to hurt you," he said to Aspen.

"Of course I don't."

"It's just training. Get out there in the field, and you'll be doing lots of things that make you uncomfortable."

"It's still not a fair fight."

"Then fight me." Clint walked toward him and Aspen backed away, looking between the two of them with mild concern. "I can take it. Come on. Show me what you've got," Clint challenged.

Steve faced him feeling a little better with this arrangement. He knew Clint wouldn't hold back. Sure enough Clint sent a punch straight at his face. Steve blocked, but it was a feint, and Clint knocked straight into his side, sending a flash of pain through him. Before he could counter, Clint was already lashing out at his right arm. Steve ducked to the side, striking back. Clint blocked his blow easily though, grunting a little under the exertion of holding Steve back. They fought on, Steve getting punched more often than not. He managed to knock Clint off his feet once though.

"Sorry!" he apologized. He hadn't meant to hit him so hard. Clint got to his feet, waving him off.

"Not bad," he said with a grin and then winced, holding onto his side. "I'm going to feel that in the morning. We've got some work to do, but both of you are much more advanced than the usual newbies."

"Well, technically I was an agent," Aspen said.

"A low level agent who helped on smuggling missions." There was nothing cutting in Clint's tone, and Aspen shrugged.

"Then what are we going to be doing?" Steve asked.

"I'm not sure yet. It's going to be a lot harder than that though," Clint said. "Good job for today. Take ten minutes, and then we're going to do the obstacle course again." Aspen let out a long groan.