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Chapter 24
Nightmares were a funny thing. Quite often when you were in the midst of a scary situation you didn't have them. That's because to reach the dream state of R.E.M. you needed to sleep deeply. Stress was not conducive to that. So when you were finally relaxed and feeling safe that was when they struck. Seemingly out of nowhere.
Elizabeth bolted upright screaming into the palm of her hand. Covering her mouth wasn't even a conscious thought. She was used to sharing space with Cameron and her screaming in the middle of the night would terrify him. Even though she suspected that the rooms were soundproofed, she couldn't hear anything from the other bedrooms, the habit remained.
Dropping her hand she wrapped her arms tightly around herself to stop the shaking. Her teeth were chattering she was trembling so hard. Getting out of bed she went to the bathroom, and because she needed to she checked on Cameron. If he had moved she would have heard it on the monitor. Still she just needed to see him.
Back in her room she sat on the side of the bed and rocked herself. The dream had been bad. Her eyes started to burn and she was breathing hard to keep the tears from falling. They were fine, she and Cameron were safe so there was no need to be afraid. Leaning over she turned on the light and tried to steady her breathing.
Finally giving in to what she really wanted Elizabeth got up and walked out of her room heading down the hall. It was late and she was probably disturbing Jason's sleep but she just needed him to hold her. A quick hug and then she would go back down the hall. It was selfish, but she couldn't stop her hand from rising and knocking on the door.
Jason wasn't asleep. In fact he was coming out of the bathroom after having showered. He slipped on a pair of sleep pants and was getting ready to pull back the covers when the knock sounded. It was just after midnight and he should be the only one up. That was probably Elizabeth and he worried that maybe Cameron was sick. Opening the door he knew that wasn't the issue.
"I'm sorry." Elizabeth was starting to shake again.
"Come here." Jason said holding out his arm. When she did her wrapped her up tight. Emily had done a paper on hugging for a psych class in medical school so he knew that along with offering comfort he was helping Elizabeth lower her blood pressure by holding her close. With her in a more relaxed mindset she could tell him what was wrong.
Elizabeth clutched him tight, just letting him warm her chilled body. "I had a nightmare."
"I figured." Jason answered. "They will probably come more often now." While he did sometimes regret not being able to dream he was glad he didn't have nightmares. "Come on." Releasing her he led her over to the bed and held up the covers. "Get in."
She didn't even argue. She needed this. Elizabeth also admitted to herself that it was time to book an appointment of her own with Diane. "Thank you."
"You're welcome. I'll be right back." Jason said walking out of the room. He was back in a few minutes with the receiver for the monitor. He placed it on his side of the bed before sliding under the blankets. They met in the middle and wrapped themselves around each other. Placing a gentle kiss on the top of her head as he rubbed circles on her back. "Just relax and breathe." They wouldn't talk about the dream now, in the morning would be soon enough if she wanted to talk at all. Now he just needed to get her to relax and go back to sleep.
Elizabeth felt herself getting drowsy. Letting her mind drift she was almost asleep when she jerked back awake. Sleep was were the monsters roamed. Her body was exhausted but her mind was fighting to stay conscious. To stay awake and aware. "I should go back to my room." Her words were slurred from being so tired. Neither one of them would sleep at this rate.
"No." Jason said letting her go to get out of bed. From the trunk by the footrest he removed two more heavy blankets and put them on the bed. Getting back under he once again held Elizabeth close. He would warm her up so that she relaxed further. It was a trick that worked with Ben.
"I know what you are doing." She said softly. "Thanks."
"Go to sleep baby. I'm right here keeping you safe. There are guards on the door and the building is locked down for the night." It was a standard safety procedure. After eleven no one who didn't live in the building, or was on the approved visitors list, got in. It was designed to keep Emily and then Ben safe. Now it kept his family safe as well. Jason started humming hoping the vibrations would help as well.
It took almost thirty minutes but she stopped fighting and succumbed to sleep. Jason just observed the tiny woman in his arms. He bet a lot of people thought she was frail because of her size. Nothing could be further from the truth. She was the strongest person he'd ever encountered. She had stuffed all the pain and fear inside so that she could give her son some normalcy while they were on the run. Now she was being brave enough to let him see those emotions. It made him even more determined to keep her safe.
The next morning when Jason got out of bed Elizabeth didn't even roll over. He tucked the blankets around her to keep her warm before dressing and slipping from the room. He was thinking about what he wanted to make for breakfast this morning. Elizabeth should be hungry when she woke up. When the body was rested it allowed other needs to come to the forefront. While they were in escape mode their diet hadn't been the best. He bet Elizabeth had them taking vitamins and eating fruit regularly. But restaurants often killed vegetables if they even bothered to serve them, so he was doing his best to feed them healthy meals in the morning. Protein, fiber, and calcium. They would have oatmeal again, maybe Cameron would like some blueberries mixed in. First however Jason needed coffee.
The little boy who was very much on Jason's mind was awake even earlier than usual. All those Chuggin Charlie clothes were making it hard to sleep. He wanted to get up so that he could wear some. Yesterday mommy washed everything and put them in the drawers. He got to wear the pair of swim trunks with all the trains on it in the pool and that was awesome. Especially since Jason got in with them. The water was warm and it felt really nice. Jason said they could go back again soon. Cameron wondered if Ben could come next time. His friend said he had dinosaur swim trunks and they sounded cool.
It was still early and the sky was still mostly dark but Cameron couldn't wait anymore. Getting out of bed he went to the dresser and picked a shirt and blue jeans, mommy said it was too cold to wear the shorts just now. Dressed he went to the mirror in the closet. Jason had picked this shirt special for him. He even had shoes that he could close himself only mommy put them up high because they were still a little big. She said by his birthday he could wear them, so Cameron put on his regular shoes. The ones mommy had to tie.
His mom got up early so maybe she was already awake. He only hesitated a minute before leaving his room and walking over to his mommy's. The bathroom door on her side was locked in the morning so he didn't go that way. He was supposed to knock on the door, but it was open a bit so he just pushed it. And found an empty bed. Where was his mommy? The bed was still messy and she always made it neat when she got up. They made his neat after brushing teeth. Cameron knocked on the bathroom door and when mommy didn't answer turned the knob to find that room empty too.
Where was she? She never went downstairs without him. She would be here unless something happened. Did the bad daddy come again and take her? He came before and hurt her. Cameron moaned like a wounded animal as the panic slammed into him. If the bad daddy came did that mean Jason was gone too? Cameron started breathing fast and warmth ran down his pants as his bladder let go in fright. Was he alone? He was afraid to move. Because if the bad daddy was here then he would get him too.
Jason was flipping through the sports section when he heard a door open. The light footfalls told him Cameron was up. He listened to see if the little boy was going to come downstairs. Instead the footsteps disappeared so Jason figured he was looking for Elizabeth in her room. He expected the little guy to come back out and maybe come downstairs when he saw the room was empty. Only that didn't happen. When a few minutes passed in silence Jason headed upstairs to see what his son was doing.
"Cameron?" Jason called as he pushed the door open. Seeing his son he moved further into the room and then stopped. "Cameron?" Jason said again becoming more concerned when the little guy wouldn't look at him.
The little boy dropped his head and hunched his shoulders over. He didn't want Jason to see that he had been bad. That he wasn't a big boy like Ben. Big boys didn't wet their pants like he had. But he couldn't find mommy and he was scared. Now Jason wouldn't want him anymore. The thoughts were flying through Cameron's head as he prepared for Jason to start yelling.
"It's okay buddy." Jason said softly kneeling next to his son. He could see the small child was terrified. It did take a lot to figure out why. "Mommy had a bad dream and she's in my room." Jason explained keeping his voice low. He wasn't sure if he should touch Cameron but seeing him like this had all kinds of protective instincts surging to the forefront. Taking a chance he gathered the little boy up and when Cameron's arms tightened to the point of pain around his neck he just held on. "I'll show you mommy." He could feel that Cam was wet and they would deal with that but first his son needed to see Elizabeth.
Walking swiftly down the hall he pushed the door to his room open and said. "See there she is." Cameron wasn't letting go so Jason turned his whole body.
"Mommy." Cameron said softly. She wasn't gone. She was right there.
Elizabeth must have heard him because she sat up and looked at the two of them. Instantly she knew something was wrong. It didn't occur to her that Cameron had spoken in front of Jason. "What's wrong?"
"Cameron couldn't find you and he got scared." Jason explained keeping a tight grip on the youngster. The fact that the little boy had spoken hadn't escaped him. It was probably not because he felt secure enough to do so, but because he was relieved his mother was okay.
"Baby, I'm sorry." Elizabeth hadn't meant to sleep so deeply. She hadn't even heard Cameron on the monitor.
"It's okay. Come here." Jason requested and when she did he pulled her into the hug so that they were both in his arms. Whispering so that only she could hear he spoke. "He's wet, can you get some clothes from his room? I'll run him a quick bath." She nodded. Giving Cameron a quick kiss she did as requested. "How about we get you clean?"
Cameron immediately dropped his eyes and started crying silently.
"It's okay buddy. You were scared and had an accident. We'll put everything in the washer and it will get clean." He spoke softly as he took the youngster into the master bath. This was a new room, but Jason thought he had a way to make it cool. He put the little boy on his feet and gently removed his arms from his neck. "I'll help you with your shirt, can you get the rest of your clothes off?"
Cameron nodded but still wasn't looking up.
Jason turned on the faucets. "Hold out your arm for me." When Cameron did, Jason dropped some water beads on it. "Is that too hot?" Cameron just shook his head.
When Elizabeth returned with clean clothes Cameron was naked and wrapped in a towel. Jason was filling the tub and talking softly to their son. "I have the clean clothes."
"Can you look in the closet and get me the pink bottle?" Jason asked turning off the water. "It's okay to use this right?" They had the one for sensitive skin.
"We never have, but it should be fine." Elizabeth was trying not to let the guilt get to her. That wouldn't help anything. She got the bottle and passed it to Jason. "Ready to get in the tub Cameron?"
He just nodded.
"Okay, can you get in by yourself?" Jason asked not wanting to add an ER visit to their morning. Cameron climbed over the side and sat in the water. "Ready?" Jason asked smiling, he thought Cameron would really like this next part.
The little boy looked at him with wide eyes and nodded slowly. Jason didn't seem to be mad, like mean daddy. Mean daddy had hit him and made his arm hurt the last time Cameron wet like a baby. The pain had been so bad he threw up and mean daddy had hit him again.
"Watch." Jason had learned this trick the hard way. Playing with Ben they had made a huge mess, but it had been fun. Jason put a bit of the liquid into the warm water and turned on the jets in the tub. Almost instantly a mass of huge bubbles formed.
Cameron laughed out loud. That was cool. It was better than the bubble machine at daycare.
Elizabeth not expecting that laughed as well.
"The first time it wasn't so funny." He said grinning ruefully. "I had bubbles to the ceiling. I thought I wasn't ever going to find Ben." He exaggerated making Cameron's eyes widen again, only this time it wasn't fright it was amazement. The little boy looked up at the ceiling and Jason knew he was trying to imagine it. "Only use a little bit." He cautioned.
Elizabeth snorted as she tried to keep from laughing. While she doubted the ceiling part she could only imagine the mess they made. "Thank you." She told him touching his arm.
"I'll go start the washer." Jason said standing up. He did turn off the jets. "The other thing I learned was that if you let the jets keep going they keep making bubbles."
Stepping out with the pile of wet clothes he took a few seconds to grab clean stuff for him as well. He'd change downstairs in the laundry room. He would also try to level out. Although he was smiling and joking with Liz and Cameron inside he was pissed. No child should ever be that terrorized. He was guessing that was a panic attack. It was just wrong.
Changed he went back up and knocked on the bathroom door. "How are things?" He asked leaning on the jamb.
"Good. I don't think Cameron wants to get out." Elizabeth grinned. It was a nice tub. The one they shared was big, but this one was huge.
"He can come visit again." Jason would have to see about getting the tub down the hall switched to a jetted one. It never occurred to him before now. He had just moved in and had not changed anything. Courtney had gotten the spa tub. Last year Jason got an updated model when the old one started leaking. "Now it's time for breakfast. I have a surprise for you."
"Hear that Cameron a surprise." Elizabeth wondered what Jason was up to.
"One mommy can't get in her pajamas." Jason pointed out Elizabeth's state of undress. He hadn't gotten to enjoy her sleep shorts last night or this morning. "I'll help Cameron."
"Okay." Elizabeth gave her son a kiss and Jason got one too. It was the first time she kissed him.
"You're gonna turn into a raisin if you stay in there." Jason joked grabbing a towel. "C'mere." Jason dried him with the towel making Cameron giggle. "Okay clothes, or do you want to stay naked?" He joked.
Cameron pointed to the folded pile on the sink.
"Yeah, it's too cold outside to be naked." Although for late April it was warm. "Your mom picked Charlie. Nice. Do you need help?"
Cameron shook his head no and put the clothes on. Jason tied the strings on his second pair of sneakers. Mommy said if he wore the same pair all the time they would wear out faster.
"Want to help me make the bed?" Jason asked taking the little boy's hand.
Cameron nodded and then looked in awe at the huge bed.
"I know it's really big." Jason grinned. He folded up the extra blankets before putting them away and together they fixed the comforter. "Now your room." Jason helped Cameron make the bed neat. By the time they were done Elizabeth was dressed. "Brush your teeth and then we are leaving."
"We are having breakfast out?" Elizabeth asked surprised.
"We are. I will meet you back here, in five minutes." Jason said going back into his room to rinse out the tub.
"We had better hurry so we can get our surprise." Elizabeth said smiling at her son. The morning had started rough, but Jason had handled the panic attack really well and Cameron was calm now. Holding his hand as they stepped into the bathroom she wondered what Jason was planning.
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