Disclaimer: I don't own SNK or any of the characters

TRIGGER WARNING! There is self-harm in this. Please DO NOT read if it is a trigger to you.

Sorry for not updating in a while, I have been busy with work experience and school. Please enjoy.

"I like you, Levi"

Said man's eyes opened wide in shock and pushed away from Eren. "I-I'm sorry Eren, this can't work…"

The brunette looked back, confused. "What do you mean Mr Rivaille?"

"I'm your teacher. What if were found. Thi-"

Levi was silenced with a kiss. But Eren was shoved back. Hurt, the only emotion present in the vast sea of teal.

"Don't you touch me, you're disgusting." Levi said, in the heat of the moment. This was instantly regretted, but he felt too ashamed and disgusted to stay in Eren's sight for a single second more.

Mr Rivaille exited to storage room, picking up his belongings.

Eren stood there, destroyed. He hurt the class room door clatter shut. He was gone, Levi had left him. Just like his mother, his father. Eren was left, again. The brunette dropped to his knees, head in hands. 'I'm such an idiot, how could I fall in love with someone I just met?' Eren thought, pulling at his hair.

A moment later he dragged himself onto his feet, picking up his belongings and stumbling out of the room. He was thankful his jacket had a hood. The boy's eyed were reddening already, tear stained tracks starting to dry. He needed out, he needed air.

Eren was thankful that Mikasa was already at work for the day. He needed alone time. Crashing through the door, Eren didn't even make it to his room, when he broke-down. Erratic screams of pain left his lips. The boy had dealt with so much heartbreak, this was his last straw. The brunette's sleeve had caught on his knees, revealing his wrists. Uniform scars stretched horizontally across it. It had been long since he did something, like this. But, it did help, it really did. Eren ran his fingers across the scars, the bumpy surface sent shivers down his spine. 'Just one more time' he convinced himself.

The brunette groggily made his way to the bathroom. Mikasa always kept hid her razors, she knew Eren would try to find them. But, the boy already knew the hiding place. Though he knew where it was, he didn't use any. Eren knew as soon as Mikasa found one missing she would move them and be on his case straight away. This was an emergency, he needed the release.

Eren pulled out the bathroom drawer, removing the bottom panel. The girl was crafty, he had to give her that. With a few short clicks, the brunette had removed the blades. He was too good at doing so. Eren locked the door and stripped down to his underwear. The clean-up would be easy and quick this way. He brought the blade to his wrist, Levi in mind. The last time he had brought blade, to skin, was when he realised he was gay. He didn't want to believe it, Eren tried to convince himself he wasn't gay, he did so in the worst manner.

At this moment he time, he didn't care about the consequences. He needed his fix, relief.

His thoughts raced. 'You're disgusting' was the comment that struck the most. It was the comment that sealed to deal. Cold metal poked at his skin, the contact making him wince. It soon warmed as crimson liquid spilled from the blades location. Tears ran down the pre-made routes on Eren's face. "Levi," he choked, sobbing further as the blade drew a new line. "I love you."

The boys loving pleas fell on deaf ears as he opened his wrist further, with more slices. A pool of blood forming in the tub. Eren winced and started to gag at the sight, the smell of blood. His blood.

After a dozen lines, Eren started to feel light headed but didn't stop. Black dots peppered his vision, forming together at the corners. Soon black darkness enveloped him. 'I guess this is how I am going to die.'

Levi felt bad. Worse than bad. He felt disgusted. Just thinking he had hurt Eren, made him want to be sick. Levi sped home, he needed a drink, fast.

At this moment in time, he didn't care about himself. He didn't care about his work, his health, his appearance. He cared about Eren. About how he destroyed the child.

Child, Eren was a child. How could he have feelings for a child?

The raven-haired man pulled up at his apartment block. Today he wasn't in the mood to wait for the faulty elevator so he took the stairs. It was the morning and he was already depressed. This was a new record for him. As soon as he got into his apartment, Levi called Mr Smith to say he wasn't coming in today, that he was sick.

It wasn't exactly a lie, he was sick. Sick of himself. He didn't even bother to change. Levi pulled out a bottle of whiskey and drank. He drank and drank, until his body was as blurred as his vision. The only thought that ran through his head was Eren. How could he have fallen in love with someone he just met? He didn't know how but he did.

Levi felt so guilty, Eren was so hurt. The raven-haired man wouldn't be surprised if he was never spoken to by the brunette boy again.

Alone, always alone. Levi had never had anyone. Levi's father was killed whilst his mother was pregnant with him. Stress caused his mother to die during child birth. He was born alone and will most likely die alone. His day-to-day life was a reminder that, he was alone. No one loved him. No one cared. But then Eren came along. In a few days, he affect Levi. He started to make him happy.

But it was all ruined. Ruined; he hurt Eren. Nothing could change that. The raven-haired man was broken, disgusted he felt dead. 'Me and my big mouth.'

Levi continued to drink himself into oblivion. It was too late when he realised, maybe he had gone too far. 'I guess this is how I am going to die.'

I'm so sorry. No, this isn't the end. In fact it's far from it.

Please review! I love seeing all your comments. Also please check out my other story 'Long distance' it's a RiRen gaming AU fic with side pairs too, maybe. Read it and review. I'm on my school holidays so expect another update soon.