WARNING: IF SELF-HARM AND SUICIDE ARE TRIGGERS PLEASE DO NOT READ THIS!
I am so sorry with mentioning self-harm, I do NOT romanticize it. I hate the very concept of self-harm.
Please enjoy, fav, review, follow. :3
DISCLAIMER: I own nothing of this sort.
BEEP
BEEP
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Eren was awoken by a persistent beep. He opened his eyes, to be temporarily blinded by white, clinical white. Oh no, he was in a hospital. He shifted his muscles around a bit, this caused a sharp pain to shoot from his arm. He looked down, to see his pained arm, dressed like a mummy. Shit, the brunette inwardly cursed, he knew.
A man, he just met, stole his heart. To only go and break it. The memory filled the boy with a fresh wave of anxiety and depression. Eren couldn't recall the rest that had happened last night, it was still a bit hazy. He guessed that he retorted back to his old ways. Why didn't they let me die, everything would be better that way, Eren thought no one cares.
A doctor walked into the room. Her chocolate hair, pulled into a lazy ponytail. Spectacles slipped down her nose, she was staring intensely at the clipboard in her hand. However, the woman looked familiar… "Hanji!" Eren exclaimed loudly, shrinking back with disgust, in himself after realising why he was here in the first place.
Said doctor looked up, she looked devastated. Her eyes red and patchy, had she been crying? "Eren," Hanji spoke, "Why have you started this again? I thought you had stopped. You promised." By this time, the brunette woman had thrown herself by the side of Eren's bed.
Hanji was a doctor, she also worked as the school nurse. The doctor was always kept busy, she loved it, however. She was extremely fascinated in the human body. Hanji was one of the only people that knew of Eren's 'habit.' She had been the one to treat him, every time he would come in with new wounds. New pain.
*Flash Back*
Eren stopped by the nurse's office every day. Not that he was attracted to her, he wasn't. He saw the nurse, Hanji, as a mother figure, a best friend. They would always sit and chat before school, over a cup of hot chocolate and/or some toast. But today Eren didn't stop by. Hanji passed it off as him being late, or illness. But, she checked over the registers, Eren was very much in school.
The nurse was puzzled. Eren would never, just ditch her. Something must have been up. The boy was in maths at the moment. She knew Eren loathed the subject. This was the perfect opportunity.
Hanji got up the schools email and was typing away.
To: Mr E. Smith
From: Miss H. Zoe
Subject: Eren Jaeger
Erwin, Eren didn't turn up to our little breakfast club this morning. It's not like him to miss it. I am afraid something is wrong. I am requesting to have him excused from his current class.
Many thanks, Hanji
She give the message a, once-over before clicking send. To her surprised, the reply was almost instantaneous.
To: Miss H. Zoe
From: Mr E. Smith
Subject: RE: Eren Jaeger
In fact, Hanji, I was just about to email you about said boy. Oluo had just emailed me, he says that Eren is acting a little strange form his usual self. Not in a good way either. Apparently, he is being extremely quiet and timid, shrugging on Jean Kirschtein's smart ass comments. I am afraid the recent passing of his mother has something to do with it. I give you full permission and ask that you report back to me.
Thanks, Hanji, I can always trust you.
Hanji was out the door, in a flash, heading over to maths. The doctor took a few deep breaths behind the door, to try and keep herself composed.
Knock, knock
A deep affirmative grunt, was heard on the other side of the door. She took that as an invitation into the room, poking her head around the door.
"Yes, Miss Zoe. What do you want?" Oluo asked.
"Could I take Eren Jaeger, please? Don't worry he is not in trouble." The last part of the sentence was kind of mandatory. That is, if you wanted to save the victim from boisterous noises that are often sounded when someone is in trouble.
"Certainly. Jaeger, Miss Zoe would like a word."
Without a noise said boy picked up his bag and equipment, heading out of the door, past Hanji. This is bad, very bad she thought, trying to brace herself. She had never seen Eren so run down before.
The walk to her office was silent, but not so awkward. It was a comfortable silence in a way. Hanji was gearing herself because this was BIG. Once they go there, Eren waited patiently for her to unlock the door. He decided not to question her motives behind his removal from the classroom. It was quite obvious that something was wrong. Normally he would go to Hanji's office EVERY morning, without fail.
Hanji opened the door, letting herself in and pushing it wider, for Eren. Said boy walked in and took his usual spot (sitting on the bed.) Miss Zoe looked at him with hopeful eyes, trying to meet his. But the boy's gaze was downcast. Hanji leant back in her chair, readying herself to speak. Just as she opened her mouth, Eren began to frantically sob.
She had never seen the boy cry, like this, before. The nurse was on him in a flash, comforting the pained boy. She let him cry on her shoulder, ushering him with soft word like "It will be okay" and "Eren, calm down… I'm here." Hanji continued to rock the brunette boy, easing him.
After about 20 minutes of heavy crying, Eren could cry no more. He wanted to, he really did. But the tears refused to shed. As the tears stopped the pain intensified. As the pain intensified, he grew too hot. The boy started to sweat and subconsciously took off his jacket.
This, however was a HUGE mistake.
Hanji's attention was caught by bright white covering Eren's wrists. He was covered in bandages. She stared, shocked. Eren didn't realise she had seen until the soothing words and the constant rocking stopped. Eren looked up at Miss Zoe, to see her gazing at something. He followed her gaze to the very thing he set out to hide today.
"E-Eren… why?" Hanji asked, she knew full well what was under those bandages.
Said boy looked at Hanji, straight in the eyes, he felt guilty; yet relieved. Guilty because of the deed he did. Relieved because she showed no signs of disgust and hatred towards the boy.
The nurse had seen all the effects self-harm can do to people. She, after all, is a doctor. But, she has also experienced it, personally.
Eren remembers her telling him stories about her old friends, the hard times they went through. She told Eren some even tried to commit suicide. Several actually being successful. He remembers that conversation. He remembers it ending in her making him swear never to self-harm.
But desperate times call for desperate measures.
A fresh wave of tears took over the boy as he cried in the nurse's arms, muttering constant apologies.
*Flash Back End*
No matter how many times Eren had promised Hanji that he would stop self-harming, he always retorted back. This lead the Nurse to stop making him make those promises as they were empty. She knew Eren was desperate. She knew he needed it. Although, she hated to admit it, but it did help him. In the sickest way possible, it helped him relieve. Hanji hated herself for letting him continue, but what could she do? It's not as if she could stop him.
"H-Hanji… I'm s-so sorry. I couldn't control myself." Eren said frantically.
She put a hand on his shoulder and looked at him, sorrowfully. "Eren, it's okay. I forgive you. Please, please stop doing this." She paused, catching her breath, fighting back the tears. "Eren, I can't lose another friend like this, you need to stop."
The boy simply nodded, not wanting to further into the conversation. But Hanji had questions that needed answers.
"Eren, what was it about this time?"
Eren looked at her with his empty eyes. "Do you believe in, love at first sight?"
The nurse didn't dare laugh at his question. She would have, had it been any other circumstances. But, she knew the boy was serious with his question.
"Yes, I do, Eren. Why do you ask?"
"That is my reason why. I fell in love at first sight, only to have my heart broken."
Hanji's eyes widened. No, it couldn't possibly be linked she thought it MUST be a coincidence. What the nurse referred to silently was about another patient. One that drunk himself to oblivion. Levi. She had visited him before Eren, asking him the same question.
Getting the same answers.
Once again, i'm sorry ;-;