I'm so sorry guys!

IF SUICIDE/SELF HARM IS A TRIGGER PLEASE DO NOT READ!

I have hit a writers block on Long distance but I will try pull some stings and stuff to try and get a new chapter out today. Here have this. It's so sad, but needed.

Poor Eren, nothing goes right

DISCLAIMER: I'm poor, do you think i'd own this? ISAYAMA HAS THE RIGHTS

"What's the matter Gayger?" The voice spat.

Yep, I was definitely going to be sick.

My body wouldn't move, it wouldn't react. I stood there, my back against the wall. As stiff as a board.

Tears were threateningly stinging my eyes. It hurt so much. But, I fought to keep them back.

Unluckily for me, I am weak. My warm, salty tears treaded tracks down my face. I wanted to wipe them but I couldn't. My body still wouldn't react.

"Hey, Gayger. I was talking to you!"

Again, I gave him no answer. The only thing my body managed to do was sink to the ground. I quickly put my knees to my chest and wound my arms tightly around them, as if it were a safety barrier.

I received a blunt kick to my side. It sent me spiralling into the corner where my mouth gaped in a silent scream. My teal, oceanic eyes raged with pain and agony. My whole body was sent into shock. I felt so pathetic, I couldn't even defend myself.

At that, I had tucked up into a foetal position only to have it ripped apart by the paws of the rugby player. Once my body was forcefully straightened out, my chest was stomped on.

The pain soon numbed out as my body couldn't take much more.

After a few more stomps and a few more kicks, the rugby player straddled me and delivered a strong punches to my face. He would have kept going if it wasn't for the bell.

After the bell rang, said rugby player stood up and straightened out his uniform. He spat on me and gritted his teeth to say, "You disgusting faggot. You are not entitled to live." Before walking out.

I lay of the piss-dampened floor, tears falling down my face. My broken frame already developing raging bruises. I had an arm outstretched and the other lay limp over my waist.

All I could remember after that was the door opening. After that my mind went blank.

I deserve this

My vision reluctantly flickered into life, much to my distaste. I thought back to the incident. He was right, I wasn't entitled to live.

I looked around the familiar nurses office, a pang of guilt washed over me. Why did Hanji keep helping me? Why doesn't she understand that her life is better off without me? Hell, everyone's lives were better without me.

These thoughts wouldn't leave me until something wet dripped from my chin and rolled down my neck. Crying, again. I'm so pathetic, all I can do is cry.

To the right of me I could hear the squeaky doors, of the nurse's office, creak open. Hanji. But she looked different, yes. She no longer looked bubbly or happy. Instead her eyes were red and puffy. Had she been crying? I stared at her, hoping to catch her attention without the need to speak. I didn't have the right to a voice. Luckily she saw me looking and gave me a sad smile.

Hanji started to walk towards the bed I was lay on. She knelt down and took my hand in hers, whilst her other one was patting her body in search for something. I could hear the crinkling of paper as Hanji took out a note and passed it to me. Tears started to stream down her face, as they seemed to have done previously. Her chin shook and trembled.

I took the note with my free hand and glanced over to the clock.

13:45

Mikasa should still be at work. Again, I could never be more wrong.

My shaking fingers started to unfold the note.

Eren,

I love you. I'm so sorry but I cannot take this anymore. There is no reason for me. Your school called me and told me you were attacked. They told me they heard a rumour you were homosexual. I'm so sorry, it's all my fault. I should have never told anyone. I came by before to wish you a good bye. I know you do not love me anymore. I can see the empty, dead look you give me. You have always hated me, haven't you? You have done so much for me. So much, I cannot possible repay it. I'm so proud of you Eren and I'm sorry for all I have done. I'm sorry to leave you, but it's for the best. I love you.

-Your beloved sister, Mikasa.

P.S. Hanji is taking your care. I made her promise, a while back, that if anything were to happen to me. She would take you into her care.

I don't understand… She took her life? For me?

I read through the letter once more. No, this must be a joke? Some sort of sick joke. I looked over to Hanji, searching for an answer. But, the fresh tears rolling down her cheek gave me my answer. Mikasa was really gone.

My body froze. I couldn't cry, I couldn't throw up, I couldn't move. I stared blankly into nothingness. The tear tracks, from my previous tears had dried now and my face felt tight. Tight like my chest. I couldn't breathe.

Hanji got off her knees and pulled me into a soothing embrace. This kind gesture burst the barrier. I started to scream, tears falling faster and more pained than they ever had. The tears burnt and stung my eyes, but it wasn't the worst pain.

No, my worst pain was realisation. I realised I have only one. One person who would listen to everything. One person who knows my deepest, darkest secrets. Hanji.

I don't deserve such a caring friend- now carer- I really don't. Even know, she is soothing me whilst I scream myself hoarse.

After, what seemed like an eternity later, I pulled back from Hanji's shoulder. She gave me a sad smile and I returned the gesture.

"I am here for you Eren, you know that don't you?"

I gave the bobbled brunette a nod. She was always there for me, even though she shouldn't.

"Do you want to go home now?"

Again, I nodded.

With this, Hanji got together all of her belongings, slinging it over her shoulder in a dark brown, leather satchel. She walked over to my bed and helped me up.

I winced with pain, from my previous beating. I still hadn't surveyed the damage, I will have to do that later. I limped along to Hanji's car, with said woman supporting me.

We walked out into the parking lot, the fresh air did me a world of good. My gaze scanned the car park to see only three cars. It must be the evening, at least 4:30. One of the cars, in the car park was Hanji's, another belonging to Headmaster Erwin. But the last one? I did not have a clue. It was a sleek black sports car though. Very nice. It made me wonder who on earth owned it. I mean, what person could afford that on a teacher's salary?

Once we made it to Hanji's car, well it was a truck really. I leaned against the silver door, waiting for Hanji to open it. Once she did, she helped me into the car before running around the driver's side.

I slumped down in the seat, it was the least painful position, and strung the seat-belt across my shoulder.

Hanji got herself buckled and ready, nodding to herself, she put the key in the ignition and put it in reverse.

Something, in the corner of my eye, caught my attention. I turned to see what it was.

A man. He was making his way swiftly over to the sports car, his car. The man looked familiar, though. Said man turned around, as if he could hear my thoughts. He looked me straight in the eye, as Hanji drove past. Teal meeting grey.

It was Levi.

Again, I'm sorry :'(