Chapter 30
November 1996
Slamming her locker and trying to ignore the thick clay all over her body, she ran down the hallway, never so thankful that she was on work study. She'd have to grab a shower at the clubhouse before answering phones for TM. "Tara! Tara!" Came a shout from the office that she just flew by.
Groaning, Tara turns around, "Yes?" Ah, it was Ms. Teasley the school counselor. Was she seriously going to bust her for running in the hallway? "I'm sorry Ms. Teasley. I'm running late but I'll slow down."
"I was hoping to get a few minutes with you, actually." The older woman smiles kindly. "You missed the college prep seminar I hosted last week."
She hesitates before walking towards the office. She really didn't have time for this and she knew Jax was waiting for her. "I was working." She lies. Actually, she was probably up to no good with her boyfriend.
"Well that's okay." She leads Tara to her back office. "We haven't had a chance to discuss your plans?"
"Plans?" As the kind woman sits down behind her desk, she doesn't really give Tara any other choice but to sit as well.
"After graduation." Ms. Teasley begins looking through her file cabinet for what Tara assumes is her chart.
"Oh, well the community college in Oakland has a CNA program that I was looking into." Tara smiles politely. In her mind, she was already cruising down the streets of Charming with Jax.
Settling on a file and looking through it, the counselor asks, "So you are still interested in the medical field, then?"
"I'm sorry?" Jesus Christ, what was up with this? All because she missed some optional seminar?
"Sophomore year when we met…you expressed interest in being a doctor." She closes the chart and folds her hands on top. Oh God, here came that pitying look Tara hates so much. "Same field but what happened to your original plans?"
"Reality." The senior laughs uncomfortably. "Even if there was a med program close by, I won't be able to afford it. The CNA program makes more sense for me."
"Your grades are excellent." The way she said this without even pretending to look at the chart made Tara uncomfortable. "Your attendance leaves something to be desired." She decides to ignore the woman's pointed look. "As does your lack of extra-curricular activities."
"Not really my thing." The teen admits. "Ms. Teasley, I'm not trying to be rude but I'm really running late for work…." Tara stands and scoots her chair in. If this was Jax, he'd have already been done with this conversation. "And my ride is waiting…."
"If finances are what is preventing you from continuing your education…." She stands to match Tara, "there are scholarships to consider. Here, I'll walk you out."
She tries really hard to conceal her groan. "Will scholarships help towards the CNA program?" She finds herself asking.
"They could." The counselor answers a little too quickly. "The best thing to do is to fill these out." She shoves a stack of papers towards Tara. "I've included some college applications. It can't hurt to see if you qualify for both programs with a scholarship."
"I guess." There is an uneasy feeling in her stomach at the mention of med school that she doesn't have time to analyze. "Thanks again." As usual, the sight of Jax waiting for her brings a smile to her face. He's tense, she can tell by the way he was waiting and smoking. His grin is wide as she darts across the lot and leaps into his embrace.
"I've been waiting forever." He rains kisses along her neck. "What's up with that?" He nods towards Ms. Teasley, who was still standing by the doors. She rolls her eyes and he gives the woman a smirk and small wave. It was gross of grown ass women were affected by that smirk. "And what the hell happened to you?" He laughs, giving her the once over.
"The clay wheel exploded. I'm going to have to take a shower at the clubhouse." She tells him as she secures her helmet under her chin.
"Sorry, babe." He throws his leg over the bike. "Something's going down. I gotta drop you off at home for a bit." She tries not to show her disappointment as the engine roars to life. It must be big if they didn't want her on premises. Too quickly they arrive to her house. "You gonna be ok?"
"Yea." She climbs off. "I'll just grab a shower and wait on you."
"If I'm not back by the time you get done, just head on over." He runs his hand over her ass. He hated her walking to the clubhouse but hated the thought of her in this house alone more.
"You sure?" She grins. "That won't be long?" She reminds him.
"I know." He kisses her. "Church should be done by then."
"Ok, I'll see you in a bit."
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She was officially rushing at this point. She wasn't home enough anymore to know her father's habits or work schedule and she just wanted to be gone before he came home. Those stupid college application and financial aid forms distracted her. And for what? What was the purpose of her filling them out? "Ugh!" She groans tightening the towel around her head and stepping into her panties and jeans. She hears a car door slamming, "Shit!" She quickly snaps her bra in place and reaches for her Soundgarden tee just as the bathroom door is thrown open with such force the knob hits the wall. "AHHHH! DAD!UGH!" She shrieks holding her tee over her bra covered breasts and turning around in horror. "Gross! Can you get out and let me finish?" At his silence but not hearing the door shut she looks over her shoulder and realizes too late that she's given him a perfect view of her tattoo. Fuck!
"Get decent and get the hell out here. Now!" Judging from the smell of alcohol that now reeks up the bathroom, he didn't work today. She hurriedly finishes dressing and runs to her room to brush out her hair, grab one of Jax's hoodies, and throw a pair of boots on. The art of preparing for a quick escape a habit for her. With trepidation she enters the living room and finds him on the floral sectional.
"Dad…." She starts but doesn't really know what to say.
"You let that…boy tattoo your ass?" He shouts standing and walking towards her with every menacing word. "May as well be branded."
"It's not like that dad." She winces and closes her eyes on a sigh. Sure she and Jax joked about him branding her but it sounded pathetic the way her dad talked about it. "I love him."
"Christ!" His laugh is menacing. "Now you're fucking stupid too."
"Stupid?" She shouts back. "Why? Because I actually believe it is possible for someone to love me?"
"Yes!" For an instant his face softens and he doesn't seem so threatening. "It's not you, Tara. It's him. You are no different than any other whore to him."
"You don't even know him!" She shouts back, suddenly angry than ever with this man who was supposed to love and respect her. Some small part of Tara told her to stay quiet and let her dad talk. He didn't know shit anyway. However, her heart ignored that part and quickly rises to Jax's defense. "No one knows him. He's not like that. Not really. He's smart and loyal and…."
"SHUT UP!" Tara has to duck quickly to miss the television remote that comes at her. "Just shut the FUCK up Tara!" He gets closer to her. "You two are done! Do you hear me? DONE! You don't see that boy again? You got it."
"NO!" She shouts back, stomach rolling at the smell of alcohol. "I am not going to stop seeing him. I'll be eighteen next week and you can't tell me shit." She tries in vain to push him back but doesn't succeed and drops the hoodie on the floor.
"You stupid little bitch." Before Tara can process the wild look in his dark eyes, she is pinned against the wall with a force she's never felt before. The grip on her throat so tight that she can hardly breathe through her nose. What the hell was happening? Why was this happening? "I can't tell you shit?" He's panting and every gin laced breath makes her more nauseous. "I don't hear all that smart ass mouth now, do I?"
Her attempts to push him back, just a bit, just something to give her time, are futile. She's no match for his strength and the reality scares her. How many times has Jax warned her? And she blew him off. A push here, a shove there. But this? He was going to kill her. Her father was going to kill her. Her lungs ache when she manages to let out a chocked sob. And for an instant she can read the sympathy in her father's horrified expression as he loosens his grasp. But only for an instant because fear has her shaking and telling her to run. She picks up her hoodie only because she stumbles on it in her haste for the front door. Feeling the cold doorknob in her hand feels like a lifeline, just a few more steps and she will be outside. She wants to suck in the fresh air, fill her lungs and push the fear coursing through her body aside. But it is that fear that has her running, ignoring her father's shouts telling her he's sorry and calling her name.
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Jesus Christ, this guy wouldn't shut the hell up. Jax wanted to roll his eyes or better yet just bail. Michael McKeavey was a friend of his old man and it would be rude to do so. Jax was itching to go pick Tara up though, especially after nothing significant happened after dropping her off at home. Well he was sure something went on during Church but he and the other prospects were not permitted in there so Jax had no idea what was going down. Certainly something was for sure though, McKeavey's presence told him that much. He doesn't have time to analyze it before he's arms are suddenly full of Tara.
Leaning up to kiss his cheek she murmurs, "Can we crash here tonight? I have a headache and just want to lay down?"
"Sure, babe." Something is wrong but he can't pinpoint it as she's already out of his embrace and headed to the back. Perplexed, he starts to head back to her. She sure wouldn't get rest here in the loud-ass clubhouse. Unfortunately, McKeavey begins to talk about JT's bike customization and Jax is forced to listen but this time, he does in fact roll his eyes.
When he finally makes it back to the room with a soda and Advil, he finds her on her side of the bed, back to him. No shoes are on her feet but she's on top of the covers, his hoodie still on. "Babe?" He whispers, thinking with the lack of light that maybe she did doze off. He hears a muffled "hmmm" and smirks. "I brought you something for your headache and a soda." He kicks off his sneakers so he can lay with her. It was mid-day and he should be working but he was totally blowing it off for her.
"Thanks, baby." She sits up and he sees a small smile. He sits on the bed next to her and watches her swallow the pills. He wishes there was stronger light coming through the small window.
"Want to go to your place?" He sits back and pulls her with him. "You're not going to get any rest here. This place will be hopping in a few hours."
"Nah, I'm fine." He swears he can feel her shudder. "I don't want to rest." Her voice drops several pitches. "You know what I want?" Before he can answer she is straddling him and pushing his prospect kutte off his shoulders. "I want you."
"Tell me what's wrong? I'll fix it." He grabs her hair with both hands, holding her head firmly in place. Once her lips touch him, he'll lose all self-control. "What did he say to you?" Her old man was a dick and he had no doubts something happened in the short while she was home.
"You know how to fix it." He may have her head immobile but her hands were under his hoodie, lifting it and his white tee, nails scrapping his abs with just enough pressure to drive him crazy with lust.
She was right, he did know how to fix it. They could fix anything when they came together. The second he releases her head, she has his hoodie and shirt pulled up off but reading her desperation he pulls the hoodie from her body while he can. Before it is even over her head, she is leaning in to run her lips across his chest. His hand runs over her tattoo, the tattoo she wears for him and goes under her shirt in search of her bra clasp, unbuttoning it with ease. "Fuck Tara." He moans when her hand finds its way into his boxers and around his cock. Somehow he missed her getting his belt unbuckled and zipper down. This wasn't working. She was too many steps ahead of him. He lifts her shirt as high as he can before saying, "Lift up, babe." She complies and he throws her tee over her head. Catching her off guard he flips her over, loving her giggle as she pushes his jeans and boxers over his ass.
Eagerness makes him clumsy as he unzips her jeans and attempts to pull them along with her panties down her leg. She distracts him by throwing her bra off hastily and Jax responds by covering her nipple with his mouth. When she moves beneath him in an attempt to remove her pants, the laugh he gives against her breast gives her goosebumps. Her fingers grip his hair as she arches to give him full access. "Roll over." She whispers huskily. Knowing she needs to get her pants off he gives in to the demand.
Jax groans when she comes down on him fully in one motion. His eyes roll back for minute but he forces them open. There was nothing in this world hotter than Tara completely in the moment, long hair mused from his fingers, falling freely, grazing her breast as she rode him. Grabbing her hands from his chest and locking their fingers together he lets her know, "I love you."
He can see her mind going off the several tangents the way it so often does. She opens her mouth to speak but closes it, finally she asks, "Don't stop?" It takes him a second to understand exactly what she's asking but he's not prepared for her continued plea, "Don't stop loving me?"
Tara has left him breathless many times since they started this thing up between them. But this? This wasn't a good breathless. His strong as steel girl was scared. She's not your typical chick who needs constant reassurance or is into the sappy stuff. The thought of her frightened and confused makes him livid. The anger rises in him instantly but he struggles not to show her that. Clearly, that wasn't what she needed in this moment. "I'll love you forever, Tara." He assures her. He would not fail her like so many others have done. "I promise."
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Hours later and he's awakened by her sudden jolt. "Christ, Tara?" He sits up and notes the complete darkness. "Babe? What is it?" He reaches her the bedside lamp and flips it on to find her sitting up in bed, breathing heavily. He will not let her shut him out.
"Sorry, I didn't mean to wake you." She whispers in confusion.
The music is loud, he's actually surprised that didn't wake either of them up, leaning down he digs his pager out of his jeans and notes the time. "We've been asleep for hours." He drops it back in the floor, thankful that there are no missed pages. "What woke you up?"
"Bad dream, I think." She smiles over her shoulder at him. It is then that he notices it. There are light marks along the side of her throat. Her eyes dim immediately when she recognizes his deadly expression.
"What the hell did he do to you?" Despite the anger rolling off of him in waves, his touch is feather light as he sits up and runs his fingertips over her neck. How the hell did he miss this earlier? "Tara….." Fuck, he hurt. His heart ached. How could anyone do this to her? How could the one man who was supposed to love her more than anything do this?
"It was an accident…I don't think he meant it." She closes her eyes at the sound of her own excuse. She would not be that girl.
"Don't make excuses for that piece of shit." Jax tosses the sheets aside and gets off the bed. Frank Knowles was a dead man. No one hurt Tara. Ever.
"I'm not." She assures him, crawling to the edge of the bed. "You're right…he's a piece of shit. You've been right and I should have listened to you before." Her throat is painfully dry.
"No…but I'm gonna make it right." His jeans are pulled up and she knows she can't let him leave. "No one hurts you, Tara. Ever."
"Jax, wait!" She gets up and stands in front of him. "You can't go over there! What's that going to solve?"
"He wants to put his hands on someone? Let him come at me!" He's torn. He wants to hold her. He wants to shove her out of his way and kill Frank.
"Baby, you need to stop." She pleads. "You can't go over there."
"No, you can't go over there!" He doesn't care if it sounds like an order or not. No way in hell she will ever go back to that. "You're never going back there again. Do you hear me?"
"I know, baby." She soothes. "I'll be eighteen next week." Sitting down on the bed, she tugs his hand and he joins her.
"I don't care." He kisses her. "You're not spending one more night in that goddamn house."
"Ok." She smiles.
"Yea?" He grins. He knew the timing was shitty but he had been thinking of nothing but the two of them living together for months. And the way she so easily agrees not to go home tells him exactly how frightened she was.
"Yea…but we'll have to figure something out. Clay and Gemma will never let me live here." They let her crash there from time to time but that was different.
"Let me worry about that." He gives her a long kiss. She was right. Going over to the Knowles in a rage would be bad for everyone. He needed to be smart and come up with a plan. As he sits back against the wall, he grins, promising himself that Frank would pay.
"Promise me you won't do anything?" She straddles him and forces his eyes to hers, "Please Jax?"
"He hurt you." Bringing her forehead to his, he breathes in. "You were scared." And he wasn't there. "I never should have dropped you off."
"Hey!" She pulls back. "This is not your fault! Please don't take this on." That would hurt more than anything her old man could ever do to her. "You're right…"She admits brokenly. "I was scared. Nothing like that has ever happened before. I promise." She assures him. "But you warned me and I didn't listen."
"I'll never hurt you, Tara." He promises, raining soft kisses along her bruised neck. "I'm going to marry you one day." Her eyes light up for him. "And I'm going to give you a beautiful family."