Chapter 32

The Waiting is the Hardest Part

Shit, shit, shit. The words went through Raylan's head over and over again. He was farther away from finding Anna, the opposite of his intent, and about to lose all control of the investigation.

Outside the door of his motel room, he paced back and forth like an agitated animal waiting for Karen and God-knows-who from the Louisville office to arrive.

Tim sauntered out of the room and leisurely propped himself up in the open doorway, sipping his Pepsi. "Tell me what you're thinking?" he asked, having no clue what was going through his fellow marshal's head.

Talking with his hands as he paced, Raylan said, "I'm thinkin'. . . I need to go back to the compound. You and me. At night . . . No vehicles. We'd have to go in on foot."

"What about the barbed wire electrical fences and those damn pit bulls? Pit bulls don't like me. They don't like you, either," Tim pointed out.

"I don't know," Raylan threw up his hands in frustration. "Mebe we drug the dogs. You know, let 'em go 'night-night' for a little while."

Tim nodded. "That's not a terrible idea."

"Yeah," he continued his frantic pacing. "And we cut the power to the compound . . . to give us time to get in."

"That's not a terrible idea, either. My night scope would give us the advantage." Tim took a swig of the sweet soft drink from the can. "But with the Feebs in charge, they're not going to listen to the likes of you . . . or me." After a beat of silence, Tim asked, "Are you thinking about going rogue?" A big grin came over his face. "I know you are."

Going rogue sounded good to Raylan. Going rogue sounded like the only thing left to do. At just that moment, a swarm of black, government vehicles descended into the motel parking lot. Assistant Director Goodall stepped out of the lead car.

"I didn't expect to see you here," Karen cocked her head, looking directly at Raylan.

"We were spotted," he explained, throwing up his hands as if he surrendered. Before he could say another word, he saw something he was surprised to see. Todd Weston, Homeland Security's face from the task force, emerged from the second vehicle.

"Does this mean what I think it means?" Raylan asked Karen.

"Who's the slick dude with the Jerry Garcia tie?" Tim asked under his breath.

"Trust me," Raylan looked at Tim. "This is a good thing. We got Homeland Security with us."

"Homeland Security trumps local Feeb dicks?" Tim guessed.

Raylan answered with, "Bingo."

Tim took a good look at the handsome, blonde man; dressed like he came off the cover of GQ Magazine and wearing a loud black, blue, and red JG tie that looked like it belonged to Spider Man. He couldn't help but think this guy was far less capable of blending in with the locals than he and Raylan were. "I'm thinking we may need to take Mr. Homeland Security shopping," he quipped. "Introduce him to some Walmart shoppers."

Ignoring Tim, Raylan acknowledged the man by holding out his hand. "Todd."

"Raylan," Todd Weston mirrored him and gave firm handshake.

"Gotta love an interagency pissing match," Tim observed.

"Marshal Gutterson?" Karen admonished. "We're all here for the same reason. To find Agent Rulé and arrest those responsible under the joint investigation of the Marshal Service, FBI, and Homeland Security."

"There's no pissin' match here," Raylan raised an eyebrow at Weston. "You can be in charge all ya' want. But you're not from this part of the country, as evidenced by your high-end clothing. And ya' need to listen to those of us who are."

"What he's trying to say is you stick out like a sore thumb." After a pause, Tim added an indignant, "Sir."

Weston smiled. "Karen's already told me many times that you're the best marshal she has. And I assume your sidekick is okay with you, or he wouldn't be here."

"Deputy Gutterson here was one of the elite snipers who served in Afghanistan," Raylan corrected him. "Damn right it's okay to have him here."

Tim flashed a steely glare.

Weston set his jaw firm and nodded. "Understood. I'll listen to what you have to say. Now, what's say we go inside and first figure out how to free Agent Rulé?"

Karen and Weston followed Tim and Raylan into their motel room.

"Art asked me to let you know that Marshal Brooks was released from the hospital," Karen informed Raylan and Tim. "She's already back to work on light duty. At her insistence."

The two marshals were grateful for the update. Raylan then brought them up to speed on what they'd seen at the compound, as well as what they were thinking might be the next logical step.

Weston spread out a detailed map the likes of which the Kentucky Marshals had never seen. It included aerial shots of Arndt's compound and the surrounding farmland. "You've got a horse ranch located to the back of the compound here," Weston informed Raylan and Tim, tapping on the map with a manicured finger. "What would happen if we put 'Eyes and Ears' in a marked veterinary vehicle? Maybe bring along some raw meat laced with dog tranquilizers to take care of the guard dogs?"

"Now, you're talkin'," Raylan nodded with a poker face.

Tim agreed. Maybe he had this guy figured all wrong. He seemed to know his stuff, even if he did get his nails done.

"And all it will take is a call to the utility company, and we can take care of electricity to the compound," Karen added.

"We can assume they have generators," Tim pointed out.

"Yes," Karen agreed. "But it would still give you a little jump on them while they're figuring out what is going on when the lights go out."

Weston wrapped things up by saying, "Okay. Assistant Director Goodall and I have a few logistics to take care of regarding the cover vehicle, obtaining some animal tranquilizers, and contacting a Federal judge to get a warrant for the utility company."

"Just so ya' know, the County Seat and the courthouse are located over in Shepherdsville," Raylan informed Weston. "We're trying not to involve their local PD."

"Duly noted," Weston nodded. "Let's plan on meeting back here at 6 p.m. sharp and ready to be in place by dark.

They all agreed and wrapped up the meeting. Weston and Goodall got up to leave.

Karen parted with, "Raylan. Try to get some sleep. You look like . . ."

"Shit," Tim finished her sentence. "Raylan looks like shit."

"Gee. Thanks," Raylan said with a sigh.

"I think I'll go next door and get something to eat," Tim said, following the others out the door and shutting it behind him.

"Surprise, surprise," Raylan said, once again flopping down on the bed that had been made since he left it only hours earlier. He closed his eyes, but sleep wouldn't come. He rolled over and tried sleeping on his stomach. Nothing. His head filled with images of Anna – tied up – captive – scared – dead. "Aww hell," he muttered. "This ain't gonna work." Reaching for his cell phone he punched in the familiar number. He needed some distraction, and maybe some comfort, too.

-o-o-o-O-o-o-o

The feet went past, and Anna allowed herself a moment of relief. When some time had passed; and with not a little effort, she pushed with her feet and pulled herself up out of the hole, staying low in the grass. She sat, peering through the underbrush in case they worked their way back toward her.

She took stock. She was thirsty, and that would only get worse. Plucking a long piece of grass she stuck it in her mouth, sucking on it. It was bitter but better than nothing. She would find some water somewhere, once it got dark. She chewed another piece of grass while continuing her evaluation. Her wrists chafed from the cuffs, and her arms were covered in scratches and scrapes. There was a tear in the knee of her khaki pants, exposing an ugly cut, likely on its way to infected. The sun was setting and soon her exposed skin would be a magnet for mosquitoes.

But for the moment anyway, she was free.

-o-o-o-O-o-o-o

"So, how do you feel about what the doctor said?" Winona sipped her wine and studied her mother's face. "Gayle said the two of you seemed pretty happy about it."

Margery flushed and nodded. "He was fairly positive. I think it gives your father some hope. And the new medicine seems to be working. He's a lot less confused, don't you think?" She took a gulp of her own wine.

Winona smiled. "So, you're going to stay until after the surgery, right? When are you going back to Miami?"

"I'm here for as long as I'm needed, dear."

Winona smiled at her mother. "And you are. I don't know what Gayle and I would have done without you this week. It's just all been . . . too much."

Margery put her arm around her youngest. "How are you doing?" She was referring to the miscarriage.

Winona fought back tears. "It's hard. I need to talk to Raylan. And I can't." She shuddered when she took in a deep breath. "I normally could talk to Adam, too. But he's dealing with so much of his own."

Margery hugged her daughter tighter. "I know I'm a poor substitute for your cowboy, but until you can talk to him . . . I'm here." After a beat, she added. "You can always talk to your sister. I haven't said a word to her. It's not my place to tell her what happened this morning. She will understand."

Winona's mother was referring to a miscarriage Gayle and Wade experienced before little Davis.

"It's not really the same," Winona sniffled. "We don't even know for sure I was pregnant. My periods have been erratic at best since Willa was born. I might have just been late."

"Still," her mother said, knowingly. "You thought you were pregnant, and now you know you aren't. That's a loss, in itself."

Winona nodded. "I just really want to talk to Raylan." Just as she said the words her cell phone chimed with Raylan's ringtone 'Mamas Don't Let Your Babies Grow Up to be Cowboys'.

Margery chuckled and pushed up from the couch. "I hope this is good news. I'll give you two some privacy."

"Hey," Raylan said when Winona answered. "How's Adam holding up?"

"Alright. Wade's got him outside grilling some chicken for dinner. How about you, Cowboy? How are you holding up?"

"I feel better now that we're doin' somethin'." He said, hastily adding. "I can't tell you anything about it yet."

She sighed. "Don't you think I know that by now, Raylan?"

"How's Willa?" he asked, changing the subject.

"She's good. Sleeping."

Raylan knew this was either a very late nap or a very early bedtime for his little girl. "Big day?"

"It was hot," Winona said. "So, when they got back from Daddy's appointment, we took the kids to the neighborhood pool. Daddy even went along. Willa had so much fun in the baby pool! I took some movies. I'll send them to you when we get off."

"That'd be great." He lay back, adjusting the pillow, feeling sleepy. "What'd the doc say about your dad?"

"If the rest of his tests go well, they're going to schedule the surgery for the day after tomorrow. You sound tired."

"I am," he yawned to prove it. "They left me here to get some sleep, but I was restless."

"Um hmmm." Winona smiled, glad that he had turned to her for comfort. For now, she decided against telling him she wasn't pregnant. "I know you're going to find Anna," she assured him. "But you need to be at your best to do it. So, I'm going to let you go and get some rest."

"Send that video," Raylan murmured.

"You miss her."

"I miss both my girls."

"We miss you, too. I'll send the video." She paused. "We love you."

"Love you, too." He clicked off and waited. After a minute or two, his phone pinged with a text and he clicked the arrow to play the video. Willa's baby giggles filled the room, and he smiled watching her splash and play. When the video ended, he played it again, then set the phone on the nightstand, lay his hat over his eyes, and finally went to sleep.

-o-o-o-O-o-o-o-

Anna's legs cramped from sitting in the same position. She hadn't heard voices or footsteps for a while now, and the sun was gone behind the brick building she suspected was Arndt's headquarters. Long shadows darkened the grass, and Anna had to squint to see the fence. Time to move. Inching forward she stretched as she went from sitting to a squat, to a crouch, then to her feet, still stooping over in the brush, in case someone was watching.

She stretched her arms out in front of her, then to each side, wincing when the cuffs tightened. God, she couldn't wait to get these off. She allowed herself a momentary thought of Adam. He must be frantic, and she wasn't sure Winona would be much help at all, considering her track record with Raylan. Closing her eyes, she took a deep, calming breath and sent him a psychic message that she was okay. A hint of a smile curved her mouth, remembering how her mama always told her 'You can't get to a phone, you just send me a message however you can. I'll get it, don't you worry.' For all her practical law enforcement training, Anna still had enough of New Orleans in her to believe it just might work. With another deep breath, she sent the same message to Raylan – her brother. How odd that she felt closer to him already than she ever had to Dru, the brother she grew up with. Maybe biology did trump all.

-o-o-o-O-o-o-o

After dinner, the dishes had been cleared and the dishwasher loaded. When the cycle was complete, to pass the time, Adam began unloading. Gayle had gone upstairs to get her boys ready for bed, and Margery went back to the hospital to visit with Davis. Her former husband would get antsy in the hospital. She thought maybe she could distract him, get his mind off the wait for the last of his tests the next day.

Winona crept into the kitchen behind Adam and placed her hand on his shoulders and gave them a squeeze.

"Hey," he startled, turning his head to look at her. "Do you know where Gayle keeps these?" He pointed to a clean cheese grater and salad spinner he placed on the counter.

"Here, give those to me," she suggested. She bent down and placed them in a lower cabinet. "How are you doing?"

"An hour ago, I was absolutely climbing the walls," he answered, placing the clean, spotless water tumblers in an upper cabinet in their proper place. "But something's come over me. A kind of calm. I can't explain it, but somehow, I feel Anna's okay."

Winona took the whistling tea kettle from the stove and brought it over to the sink and filled it with water. She returned it to the stove and turned the burner on. "I heard from Raylan, earlier," she shared. She hadn't planned to. "Of course, he can't tell me anything when he's on assignment, but I could kind of tell by his tone that, except for the fact he personally knows the target of this search, he behaved pretty much as he always does. And I took that as a good sign."

"What do you mean?" Adam asked, taken aback and looking for any kind of information.

"Well," she said pensively. "When they're out on assignment or on a stake out, they take turns sleeping. It was Raylan's turn, and he couldn't sleep. He's exhausted. So, he called to see how Willa and I were doing." She smiled. "I sent him the video I filmed at the pool earlier today after we hung up."

"He can't sleep? And you think this is normal?" he asked, not understanding at all. He would have taken that as a troubling sign.

She reached up into the same cabinet that held the tumblers and pulled out two mugs. "Oh, Raylan is a chronic insomniac. Especially when he's working a case," she explained. Then, she searched the worry that re-appeared in Adam's eyes. "If Raylan had an urgent reason to be upset about Anna, he wouldn't have been on the phone with me. And he wouldn't be trying to sleep. He only called me because, sometimes, I can get him to relax. Talk him through it."

Adam tried to hide it, but he was a little miffed she hadn't said anything until now. She noticed the sudden air of coolness coming her way.

"What's wrong?" she asked, distracted from placing the herbal tea bags into the mugs.

He turned around and leaned back against the counter. "I guess I don't understand why you didn't say anything earlier today . . . when I was going out of my mind?"

She reached out a hand and touched his arm. "Hey. You were talking about having a feeling you can't understand . . . somehow giving you a peace, a knowing. It doesn't make any sense, but it doesn't make the feeling any less real, true." She tucked a strand of her hair behind her ear. "I didn't feel right telling you about a feeling I had. Not until you shared yours. I'm sorry if you would have understood. I had no way of knowing that."

Adam caved. He held out his arms, and he and Winona hugged. "You were trying to protect me."

"Yeah," she hugged him back.

The whistle from the boiling kettle went off and broke their hug. She grabbed the kettle off the stove and shut the burner off. "If it's okay for Raylan to sleep? I suggest we take advantage and try and get a little sleep ourselves. I thought a little chamomile might help us."

"Tomorrow is a big day for your family," he concurred. "What time is Davis' test scheduled?" He grabbed the sugar bowl of the counter and brought it to the table.

"Sometime early tomorrow afternoon," she said, following him with the two steaming mugs. "If it all goes well, then surgery will be first thing the next morning."

Adam looked down as he took a seat beside her. "You all are going through so much right now. Don't you think it would be better for me to go back to the hotel?"

"No," she said as a matter-of-fact. "It would not be better for us. Would it be better for you?"

Adding sugar to his tea, he said, "No. It would be harder to be alone." He passed the sugar to Winona.

"I need to talk to Raylan about something . . . so bad . . . and I can't," she opened up, anxiously putting too much sugar in her tea.

"What is it?" Adam asked, sincerely wanting to know.

She looked up at him. Tears came to her eyes. "I started my period this morning."

"Oh, Winona," he said and immediately leaned over and held out his arms for her. "I'm so sorry."

She succumbed and lay her head on his shoulder. He stroked her hair in a comforting manner, and she lost it and began to sob.

"That's it. Let it all out," he said, continuing to stroke her hair. "You've been holding this in all day."

She did let it out . . . all of it. The worry about telling Raylan. The worry about Anna. The worry about her daddy. She had been strong for so long.

After a time when the tears would come no more, Adam handed her a napkin. She wiped her tears and blew her nose, her eyes red from ugly crying. He then offered her the mug. Her tea was sickening sweet, but she sipped on its warmth, anyway.

In a soft voice, she said, "I'm not even sure I was pregnant. But I think Raylan thought maybe I was."

"He'll be most concerned for you," Adam tried to reassure her. "Sure, he'll be sad at the loss of a possibility. But as long as he has you, he'll have more possibilities."

She looked at him and thought of how all Adam's possibilities were wrapped up in Anna. "Want to go into the family room? Turn on some television?"

"Let's go," he said, picking up their mugs and bringing them into the other room.

Winona clicked on the set with the remote and lowered the volume. She grabbed the comforter and offered one end to Adam, who took his place at the other end of the sofa. Each thought it wasn't the same as knowing their loved ones were home, safe and sound . . . but it sure beat having to go through all this, alone. The two settled on a rebroadcast of 'Suits,' but neither made it past the first fifteen minutes before succumbing to sleep.

(To be continued . . .)