Chapter Fifteen

I picked up the book assigned for my literature class. I looked at the cover and sighed heavily at the title, The Grapes of Wrath. I shook my head in annoyance that the class would be studying a book I had read before. Lonely, I looked at the clock on the wall near the window. It was just before dinner and here I was in a long cotton nightgown. The same place I had been for the past three days - isolated with no one to talk to except the day and night nurses who took my temperature twice a day, iced my bruises, and worked hard to be sure I stayed tucked away in the corner of the infirmary.

Tossing the book aside, I opened the light blue box of stationary and pulled out the three stamped envelopes that contained letters to Sodapop, Ponyboy and Owen.

I climbed off my bed and walked over to the window. I peered out to the lush green lawn behind the building. A few yards away I noticed Jackson cutting through the grass headed to the service entrance of my building. I knocked on the window hoping he could hear me, but trying to avoid getting caught by Nurse Kelly. She had very strict rules for the infirmary, and she did not appreciate those who failed to keep quiet and stay tucked away in their beds. He didn't look. I knocked again a little harder, but I failed to draw his attention before he entered the building.

Disappointed, I looked down at the light blue letters in my hand. I pulled up on the skirt of my long nightgown, and walked across the black and white checkered floor back to my bed. I curled up in my bed and held the letters close to my heart. I'd have given almost anything to find a way to send the letters to my loved ones. I considered crying to release my frustrations, but a deep voice at the nurse's station drew my attention. I sat up in my bed and turned my head slightly hoping to improve my hearing. At first there was only a distant mumbling, but a moment later I heard approaching footsteps. I stashed the letters under my pillow and pulled at my nightgown to be sure my legs were covered before someone came around the curtain.

"Hi there!" Jackson sauntered around the corner followed by Nurse Kelly.

"Mr. Wesley says he needs to take a look at your sink." Nurse Kelly looked out the corner of her eye at the handyman. "He thought the drain may have been running a little slow." The lady looked to me for confirmation.

I looked back at her slightly confused by the information then I figured it out. I looked at the nurse and spoke assuredly, "Yes, Madam. I have noticed the drain was a little slow."

Nurse Kelly looked at me in a moment of suspicion. "Very well, Mr. Wesley will fix the drain, but when he is done I want you tucked into your bed. Those bruises aren't going to heal if you aren't getting your rest."

"Yes, Nurse Kelly."

Jackson stood near the curtain and watched the Nurse walk back to her station. Once he was sure she was out of earshot he walked he over to my sink. He turned on the hot water, watched the basin fill, and then drain without a problem. He looked to me and smiled. "I fixed your sink. It seems to be draining just fine now."

"Jackson, I'm glad you are here. I was hoping you could do something for me." I reached under my pillow and pulled out the three letters. "I was hoping you would do me a favor and put these in the outgoing mail."

Jackson looked to the letters and then looked back to me with a look of disgust. "Miss Curtis, the rules are, no communication comes into the infirmary and no information goes out!"

Shamefully, I lowered my eyes and held tightly to the envelopes. "I… I guess I just…"

The sound of Jackson laughing at me drew my attention back to him. He reached his hand out. "I'm just kidding. I'll get those letters to a mailbox right away. Besides, I always thought the rules around this place were a little peculiar." Jackson grabbed the letters and opened the lid of the toolbox he had carried to my bedside.

"Please don't lose those letters. They are really important."

Jackson smiled up at me. "I know." He reached into his toolbox and pulled out a few envelopes with a rubber band around them. "I thought these might have been important too. I grabbed them out of the mailbag today. I wanted to be sure you got them now and not a week from now when they finally release you from this sterile place." Jackson handed the envelopes to me and looked around the room.

I jumped off my bed, snatched them up, and quickly read the return addresses. There was one from Sodapop, one from Owen and one from Casey. Joyfully, I threw my arms around the young man. My senses noticed how good he smelled considering his position at Ashford. "Thank you so much, Jackson! These mean the world to me."

Jackson patted my back and I let him go. He closed the top of his toolbox and shrugged his shoulders. "Anything to help. I'll let you alone to read those. If I see anymore come through I'll be back to check on that drain again. How does that sound?"

I giggled a little and climbed up onto my bed. "That sounds great. You are the greatest!" With the compliment safely secured in his memory Jackson turned off the hot water and lifted up his toolbox from my bed. He looked back at me. "I have one question though. I wasn't trying to invade your privacy or anything, but who is Sodapop?"

I smiled at the question. "He's my brother."

"Why do you call him Sodapop."

I giggled at the question. "Because that's his name."

"Your brother's real name is Sodapop?"

"Yeah, do you think that is weird?"

Jackson chuckled. "Yeah, just a little."

"I have another brother, my twin, Ponyboy."

"You have a twin brother named Ponyboy?"

"Yeah." My smile faded slightly. "He's at Barrington Home for Boys right now."

Jackson's smile faded along with mine. "Is he there because of what happened to you?"

I looked at Jackson's face and realized he was thinking that Ponyboy was directly responsible for the bruises on my face. "No, well I mean, yes or kind of, but he didn't do this to me." I sighed. "It's complicated."

Jackson smiled to lighten the mood. "Don't worry about it. We don't have to talk about it. Just enjoy the letters, and get your rest. Okay?"

I looked back at my new friend. "Okay."

The boy turned and disappeared around the curtain.

I climbed underneath my covers and looked at the front of the envelopes one more time trying to decide which to read first. I took Casey and Owen's envelopes and hid them under the blanket. Quietly, I ripped open the top of Sodapop's envelope and pulled out the pages inside to read them.

Scout,

I don't know what to say right now, but I felt like I should write to you so you dont feel alone. Alot has happened since you left this morning. Casey herd about Darry and came runing over hear to see you, but you had just pulled away when she showed up. She didnt look so good. Two-Bit asked her how she was doing. She said she's been miserable ever since she did what she did. Duke and her aint been getting along and she wants to get away from him. She said she might have to go back to New Mexico to be with her mom. I told her maybe she could move in with us to help pay the bills and stuff. She said she'd think about it. If she does move back in, don't worry about me. I learned my lesson. Her and I are over but she loves you alot and she is your friend. I am not going to do anything again to ruein that.

We went to the hospital in the afternoon, but Darry was the same. Doctors arent going to let him wake up for at least a week. They still dont want him to have any visitors either. Not even his own family. They said they didnt have any new news. Nothing good, nothing bad. I'll let you know if anything changes.

Owen came by the hospital when I was there. He was pretty upset to hear about everything. That boy really loves you. I gave him your new address and he said he's going to try to send you something everyday he can. He was pretty hot at James for what he did to you and Darry. He left the hospital with his friend to go look for the boy. I kind of hope if he finds him he drags him back to our house so we can all work him over good.

Two-Bit went to his house to get some things and move in here. He and I are going to sleep in you room for awhile. That way we can keep an eye on each other at night. I dont trust James. I hope the fuzz does their job and finds him soon. Tim Sheppard stopped by the hospital to let us know if he finds that boy before the cops we won't ever have to worry about him bothering you again. Then he nodded and I knew he was serious about making James pay for what he did to you and Tim's girl.

It's only been a few hours since yall left, but I really miss the two of you. Ponyboy had a hard time after you left. He cried real hard and almost refused to get into the car and go. I thought they were going to cuff him and stuff him in the backseat till Two-Bit saved him. He talked him into calming down and getting in the car. Im more worried about Pony then Im you. I know you'll fit in right away at your school. I hope you are making friends and your new room is nice.

I got to write to Pony and get this letter into the mail soon then I am going to get to bed cause I got to work in the morning.

Love and miss you,

Sodapop Curtis

I read the letter and laughed at the poor grammar. Ponyboy was always harping on Soda to work harder on his writing. That memory made me smile. Then I read the letter two more times before I folded it and put it back into the envelope. I stuffed the opened envelope under my pillow and pulled out a new one. The return address was my home in Tulsa, but the name was Casey Dobbins. I paused a moment and looked at her handwriting. I thought about how the two of us were like sisters. We may have been if she hadn't been so cruel to my brother. Just as I grew angry I remembered that it wasn't just Casey who was thinking of other people. Soda had been thinking of Sandy too. If she had been in town he may have been the one to break Casey's heart and leave her crying. I tore open the top of the envelope. Right away I smelled the scent of the perfume that she loved to wear. The scent brought back memories of warm summer nights and long talks with my best friend about boys and growing into young women. Having Casey around for all those months was a great way for me to cope with the loss of my mother. I missed them both. I unfolded the page in the envelope and read.

To my best friend ever,

First, I want you to know that I am so sorry I ever hurt you and Soda or anyone in your family. Ya all mean so much to me that I didn't realize how much it would hurt ya all to have me acting the way I did. I am more sorry than you could ever know or I could ever tell ya. I am sorry for being so bad. I hope you can find it in your heart to forgive me someday. Till then I want you to know how much I miss you.

I ran over to your house this morning to talk to you but you weren't home anymore. I thought I saw you leaving in the cop car then Soda told me you had. Soda and me are kinda better. I suppose when something terrible happens it can really bring people together who maybe didn't get along before. Case you were wondering how I knew to come to your house, here is the story.

I looked up from the letter and giggled to myself. Casey wrote letters just like she spoke. With every word I read I could hear her voice carrying on. To be honest, I was surprised she used any periods or commas. The way she rambled on, I figured the letter would be one long run on sentence. I took in a deep breath and read on.

I was working the morning shift at the restaurant when a few cops walked in and sat at the bar to order breakfast. They looked real tired and were discussing a few facts of a stabbing case they had been working on. I poured their coffee and eavesdropped on their conversation the way I always do when the cops come in for coffee I like to be nosey that way. They were trying to talk all secretive but when they said the name Scout I just knew they had been talking about you. How many other Scouts could there be in the city of Tulsa

I told them I knew who they were talking about and that they needed to tell me everything they knew. At first they told me no, then one of them asked for my name and how I knew you and if I would be help in anyway about the case. I told them sure my name is Casey Dobbins and I know Scout real well. They remembered what my dad had done and all so I think they were more willing to talk. Then they told me how you had been attacked by James and Darry had been stabbed trying to save you. I couldn't believe my ears. I wanted to run out of the restaurant to your house but the cops wouldn't let me. They stopped me and told me they had a few questions for me. A few! Jeepers they must have asked a hundred questions about your, me, Darry, James. Where he hung out where you hung out. They even asked me if I knew if you had ever… you know been to home plate with a boy. I told them no even though I knew better. I didn't want them to think you deserved to be treated that way James treated you, cause you didn't. After all their questions I took off running for your house. I don't like to run, but when you are scared or something you can run for a long time and not even feeling like you had been running aint that weird? So I finally got to your house and you were gone. I was so pissed at those cops!

I noticed the gang all trying to calm Pony down when I got there. That boy was fit to be tied. We almost needed a wrangler to come and tie him up to get him in that car. But that Two-Bit has a way with words. Hes a real sweetie and he was able to get Ponyboy to get in the car and go before the cop and the tall gray haired man lost their temper and sent Ponyboy off to the reformatory or something.

Then I talked to Soda and he told me everything I didn't already know. I cried a lot and told him I felt like some of this was my fault. I should have been there to be your friend and look after you. I wish I had. I told Soda that I was sorry for everything and he hugged me and cried and told me he didn't care about any of that. He wished me well and I told him most of everything with me wasn't well.

Turns out Buck aint nothing but a sweet talker with one thing on his mind. I know you already knew that and if I had been honest with you I probably wouldn't have gotten myself into such a horrible mess, but I did. Buck didn't really lie about everything though. He never said he loved me and he never said he wanted to love me. I guess I just was hoping he'd be the guy I always needed. I did like that he was an older man. He made the nights a little hotter, if you know what I mean. But in the end I wasn't the only girl getting hot for him or because of him. So I told him it was me only or I was out of there. Well, I'm out of there. I had been sleeping on the floor at the apartment of a cook at the restaurant, but his girlfriend aint to happy about that, so I gotta get out. I talked to Soda and he and twobit might be renting me a room. I promise to behave and leave him alone. You are too important to me to hurt you again. I love you and I promise to be good and I promise to do what ever I can to help out Soda and Darry so you can come home soon.

I miss you dearly,

Casey

By the time I finished the last sentence I was in tears. I did love Casey and I needed her as a best friend. I decided if Sodapop can move on from what she did, then I could too. I planned to write her and tell her that after I read the letter from Owen. I stuffed Casey's letter back into the envelope and returned it to its hiding spot. I pulled Owen's letter out and stared at the south side of Tulsa address. He was a Soc, but not a typical one. He had a lot of misery in his life and knowing me sure added to his collection. Carefully, I tore open the envelope and pulled out stationary.

Dear Scout,

The moment I noticed you hadn't come to school I knew something was wrong. Anytime you don't come to school it always seems end up being pretty bad. I worried all day that James had done something horrible to you and I hadn't been there to stop him. I hate that I was right. I should have never left you. I should have stayed with you and watched over you.

Pete and I left school as soon we could, to go and find you. We stopped at your house, but no one was home. Pete suggested we check the hospital. I asked for you at the information desk and the lady said she had a Curtis, but it was Darry and not you. When I heard that Darry was in the I.C.U., I couldn't believe it. Pete and I skipped the elevator and rushed up the stairs hoping to find you in the waiting room. When I came around the corner and saw Sodapop sitting there without you or Ponyboy, I was so spooked. He looked at me and by the look on his face, I thought he was going to tell me you were dead. I fell into the nearest chair and braced myself for the news. When I heard all about how Darry had been stabbed and how James had tried to force himself onto you, I was so mad. I was so angry that I took off with Pete to look for James. I drove every street in your neighborhood and checked as many diners and drug stores as I could. It's probably a good thing he couldn't be found. If I had found him, I think I would have killed him. That evening I headed back to your house. Casey was there. It should make you happier to know that I think things are better between her and Sodapop. She was ironing all the laundry and she had spent the day cleaning so Soda didn't have to. I wanted to stay mad at her because you were, but she really was trying to make things better. I know you don't know this, but she was an angel to everyone when you were in the hospital. I think she really loves you.

Sodapop came home while I was there and he gave me the note you left me and it broke my heart. I want you to know I was wrong too. I thought that you going off to Ashford would be a good thing. I thought I could handle you being gone because I was planning on leaving Tulsa too. Maybe it's the way you had to leave that makes it worse, but I am miserable without you and a whole day hasn't even gone by. I hate that you are there and I can't hold you and tell you that everything will be okay. I hate that you have to go through all of this all on your own. I hate myself for thinking I could be ever be without you. Because I can't. It hurts too much.

But you are there now and there is nothing either of us can do about it. So I want you to work hard and do well at Ashford. I know you don't realize it, but being an Ashford girl will be a great thing for you. You do well while you are there and I promise to help take care of your family here. I'm also going to write a few letters to Ponyboy so he doesn't feel too alone. I heard he was pretty upset about having to leave.

I promise to come visit you when I can. You won't ever be off my mind. Do good! I love you and I miss you.

Owen

I wiped the tears from my eyes and tried hard to squeeze the lump out of my throat before I read the letter again. My heart ached for the way my life used to be.