Peering through the pane of glass on the resus doors, Nick could see that she was or had been crying. He hated seeing her like this; so weak and fragile. It was completely out of character for the strong and confident woman that she was.
He could see that Marie had positioned herself on the bed and was trying to talk Zoe around. He couldn't hold back any longer though, he had to go and speak to his wife too. He slowly entered the room and walked up to the bed, resting on the opposite side to where Marie sat, "I am so so sorry" He whispered, leaning forward and kissing her cheek as Zoe's tearful eyes watched his every move; begging for his comfort and forgiveness.
"Stay with me Nick" Zoe cried as tears began to fall once again "I can't do this without you" She breathed, taking hold of his hand and gripping it tightly.
"I am sorry" He apologised once again, holding her tightly. He knew he couldn't let her down no matter what, she needed him now more than ever "It's hard I know" He began "I don't want to go through this either" He admitted, tears forming in his eyes and she could now see just how much this had effected him; he never cried for anything.
"Sweetheart, you need to go and meet your son, once you do everything will change" Marie interrupted, continuing to try and persuade her.
"That's exactly why I don't want to see him" She admitted. It was a hard choice but she was too afraid of becoming attached and loosing him.
"He is as much your child as Phoebe is" Marie reminded her "If she was rushed into hospital right now, critically ill, would you leave her alone to fight for herself?" She rhetorically asked, knowing that the answer was obvious.
"No of course not" Zoe shook her head without hesitation, she wouldn't even think of it.
"There you go" Marie said as she answered her own question "That's exactly what you are doing. You are the only familiar voice that he knows.. Think about how alone he is feeling in that incubator away from the security of his mothers protection" She could see that this was touching Zoe's motherly instincts; her eyes said it all.
"I'm scared mum" Zoe cried, looking to her mum for comfort.
"I know you are" Marie said, taking hold of her other hand, squeezing it for reassurance "But you've got me and Nick" She said, glancing over in Nick's direction.
"What if he dies?" She nervously asked, looking from both her mum to Nick for an answer.
"He's not going to die, he's a fighter like his mum" Marie said, nudging her for reassurance "What happened to that strong little girl I once knew"
"He is doing so well already Zoe, he even responded to me earlier" Nick said, hoping that his progress would be enough for her.
Zoe turned her eyes back to look at Nick's "You've been to see him?" She asked.
Nick nodded "He is the most perfect little boy, he looks just like you" He said, smiling slightly as he could see a smile also tugging at the corner of Zoe's mouth.
"OK" Zoe nervously said "I will see him" She finally decided.
Nick let out a small sigh of relief, squeezing her hand even tighter "Thank you" He mouthed.
"I'll get a wheelchair" Marie quickly offered before she changed her mind. She climbed off the bed and headed out of resus leaving them alone.
Zoe turned to look at Nick with tearful eyes "Oh god Nick, I'm terrified" She admitted, gripping tightly onto his hand for protection.
"I know you are, I am too" He admitted "I love you, remember that and I'm not going anywhere" He said, tenderly kissing her forehead.